Newly pregnant with 2nd child - step mum has scared me I’m going to lose the baby

[Stephanieava]

I’m newly pregnant with my second child and absolutely overjoyed. I’m very early, maybe 5 weeks. We went round to tell parents and when we went to visit my Dad and my Step Mum (she is only 10 years older than me and more like a sister), she asked me in private whether it was planned. Which was fine

I told her it was planned of sorts, however we literally did ‘it’ once in my December cycle after deciding quite literally in the moment ‘yeah lets do it!’

We then didn’t get to do it again as my Husband had a nasty fall. Fast forward a few weeks and hey ho, that one time got me pregnant

She was like ‘oh ok’ well just don’t get your hopes up as one time may not mean a strong pregnancy as you only got one batch of swimmers! I was just like WHAT?!

Now obviously the logical part of my brain is telling me that it only takes one time. But the anxious part of me is thinking, well actually could she have a point. We also used a normal lube which don’t usually go hand in hand with conception so I’ve read, so I’m spiralling

Anybody else do it one time and have a successful pregnancy? I almost feel stupid for typing that, but I guess it’s these pregnancy hormones and unwarranted advice that are sending me over the edge of sanity….

thanks guys

Eh? That's utterly bonkers. It only takes one!

Congratulations on your pregnancy and pay her no mind.

Once you're pregnant you can't get more pregnant! All it takes is one sperm and one egg! She's mad!

She's nuts.
What she said was nonsense.

She obviously didn't take biology at school😄

Does she think that successive sperm strengthen the embryo over following days or something?!

So, you dtd once, conceive a "weak" pregnancy. You dtd some more to "strengthen" it?!

Your mum does not understand how conception works. At all.

You don't either, if you are genuinely asking if anyone has done this and had a successful pregnancy

Your stepmother is clearly very stupid. Ignore.

Ps I meant stepmum, I wrote mum. But still.

It is also very strange that you tell your stepmum such intimate details of how you conceived.

She's talking nonsense.

@Mumoftwo1312 absolutely not your place to comment on what details she does or doesn’t tell her stepmom…she didn’t ask for advice her relationship?! How dare you feel the right to do that??

@Stephanieava to echo the other ladies that have replied to you already…lube definitely can affect conception and only having sex once can decrease your chance of conception but against all odds you managed it 👌🏼 Of course there is chance of miscarriage as there is with anyone but nothing that you have done from what you’ve written would cause that. Be happy & congratulations x

@Mumoftwo1312 She is not much older than me and we are very close. I hope my children feel comfortable enough with me in the future to talk to me about anything they see fit

FYI for context I literally told her ‘yes but we only did it once! Can you believe it, I can’t believe how blessed we are. We feel so lucky!’

I do understand how conception works but I am in the thick of raging hormones, nausea, vomiting, and anxiety amongst other things, so I was just word vomiting for a bit of support I suppose

thanks

@4LeafCloverBaby thank you for this. I apologise for asking for what is seemingly ridiculous advice 😅i’ve just been over thinking her comment all day! I really appreciate your kind response, thank you x

Hi @Stephanieava

One time worked for me. Me and partner did it once in the space of a month and now have a 7 month old. Congratulations on your pregnancy and hope everything works out well for you x

She doesn't understand how it works.
Also got pregnant with second immediately began trying. And was 39. All fine.

Try not to worry/ panic and just ignore. Not to be insensitive or crude but there are women who fall pregnant from one night stands and r*pe. Essentially what I mean is it literally just takes one time.

Congratulations and all the best x

Her manner if speaking is atrocious. However maybe she's trying not to get too excited as it's still early days. But yeah she's a cow

Both times only took one try - we have been so very lucky. My ‘weak’ pregnancies have turned into very strong-willed DC!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

You seem aware that rationally the way you got pregnant has no bearing on the viability of it. Is this anxiety spiral a common thing for you? If it is down to hormones etc and a one off then take some deep breaths, know that it will pass. But if you are prone to deeper anxiety/health anxiety it may be worth seeking some help for this. Antenatal anxiety is a thing and your midwife should be able to help you get support with it.
Congratulations!

What the fuck is she talking about 😂

What a bizarre thing to say from her. Total nonsense, my first was a 1-time thing, on my birthday, off my tits drunk on holiday as I had only come off the pill a couple of weeks before and thought surely I wouldn't get pregnant this quickly on 1 go as we were staying at his parents' house and only managed the 1 time that night as we crashed at friends' house in the city centre, he is 10 in March.

Hahahaha.

Sorry to laugh at such a serious subject but what on earth does she think the spare swimmers do? They’re not cheerleaders! You don’t get a healthier more motivated embryo if you have a load of extra sperm sloshing around it shouting encouragement!

Hate to break it to you, but your stepmum is a total idiot with zero grasp of basic biology, please never put her in charge of anything important.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

And yes, my 11 year old son was conceived through one time sex, as DH was away on work for most of that month. Actually we only had sex on day 9 of my cycle and the test strips said I didn’t ovulate until day 14, so it’s bizarre that DS is with me at all given that male sperm isn’t supposed to last long 😂🤷‍♀️

Honestly. She is an idiot. It only takes one sperm. Ignore her.

Your stepmum could use a lesson in basic biology. For what it's worth my second was conceived the one and only time his dad and i had sex in 4 months. He works away and we managed one night together when he got into port unexpectedly.

Has she got children herself? Is she trying? I wonder if she is a bit put out about your pregnancy for some reason.

Literally takes once 😂.

The first time we fell pregnant, there were two times it could have been. We lost that baby.
This time I know exactly when it was, it cannot have been any other date, and baby is currently kicking the shit out of me at 30 weeks pregnant.