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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

How important is age when TTC?

57 replies

TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 20:43

Hi all. I just saw a reply on a thread about conception (about whether it’s down to luck) which got me thinking. One poster emphasised how it really comes down to age.

We are wondering when to start TTC for DC2 and my DH thinks we could wait a few years (although said whenever I’m really). I’m 36 now and we were really fortunate as it happened pretty quickly with DC1 so I think he imagines it’ll be similar next time. I reminded him that we might not be so lucky next time, especially if we leave a gap of a few years. I worry it’ll be a risk, waiting, even though I know I’ll hardly be old in say three years! We definitely want another baby.

So I suppose I’d like to hear about experiences of TTC at different ages. Did it take you longer to conceive when older? What ages were you at the time of different t pregnancies? You might think something else was a factor which I’d also appreciate hearing about, if you’re happy to share of course.

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Original poster
TTCquestion · 08/01/2024 21:10

Fluorescentgem · 08/01/2024 20:57

Age is a huge factor. I read posts here all the time where the poster says 'all our results look good and we don't know why we're not conceiving' and then they dripfeed that they're forty. The tests won't tell you that your eggs are old, which they are at forty. It doesn't matter how healthy you are, your biological age is your biological age. I'll be honest and say I think some people have their head in the sand about it, like the posters who say 'I'm 42 and we're trying for our first'. Realistically at 42, you'll be lucky to have one. I'm not trying to be harsh but that's the reality. I conceived over 40 but I already had children and I was terrified of miscarriage during the whole pregnancy. If you want a second baby, try now.

No, I appreciate your candour and I know you’re speaking total sense - especially if one’s absolutely set on becoming a parent or having another baby as I am. It’s a gamble putting it off. The problem is when there’s no choice in putting it off if you don’t meet the right person until much later in life. During a string of disastrous dating experiences in my thirties, I used to imagine my biological clock loudly ticking on bad dates!

OP posts:
Yazoop · 08/01/2024 21:12

I wouldn’t risk waiting if you are sure you want another.

I started trying around 35 for our first (my husband is the same age as me). Turns out have low ovarian reserve and, 4.5 years, 1 early miscarriage and 3 failed IVF cycles later, I am 13 weeks pregnant (naturally!) and hoping this is the one. But a second child is very unlikely at this stage (and would be over the moon with one healthy child!).

If I had any foresight on any of this, I would have started earlier and given myself more time - but these aren’t easy choices, and you don’t know what you don’t know!

While the chances are still in your favour in your late thirties, you don’t have much time for error. And things like risk of chromosomal abnormalities get steadily higher as you near and cross into your 40s. You could be lucky and have no issues but you don’t really know until you try and that’s the kicker.

Yazoop · 08/01/2024 21:13

(But you could maybe go for a fertility MOT to see what the lay of the land is and inform your decision-making)

Original poster
TTCquestion · 08/01/2024 21:15

Hopingforbetterluck · 08/01/2024 20:59

Had DS at 34. Came off the pill in January and was pregnant by April without really trying.
Then had three losses in a row, all different and the last one was after 20 weeks.
Then had DD at 38, she’s about to turn 1.

If I were you I’d start trying sooner rather than later. You have no idea what will happen. I had the easiest pregnancy with DS and never imagined the three years of hell we went through after him would happen to me.

I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

So sorry to hear you had such a terrible time. That’s devastating.

It’s so true we have no idea what’ll happen. Your reply, like many others, has been sobering so thank you for sharing.

OP posts:
Original poster
TTCquestion · 08/01/2024 21:21

Yazoop · 08/01/2024 21:12

I wouldn’t risk waiting if you are sure you want another.

I started trying around 35 for our first (my husband is the same age as me). Turns out have low ovarian reserve and, 4.5 years, 1 early miscarriage and 3 failed IVF cycles later, I am 13 weeks pregnant (naturally!) and hoping this is the one. But a second child is very unlikely at this stage (and would be over the moon with one healthy child!).

If I had any foresight on any of this, I would have started earlier and given myself more time - but these aren’t easy choices, and you don’t know what you don’t know!

While the chances are still in your favour in your late thirties, you don’t have much time for error. And things like risk of chromosomal abnormalities get steadily higher as you near and cross into your 40s. You could be lucky and have no issues but you don’t really know until you try and that’s the kicker.

Edited

If only we had a crystal ball…

Huge congratulations on your pregnancy! All the best. I remember feeling great mentally at 13 weeks, having got that big scan ticked off the milestones. It made it feel so real. I hope you also feel relief.

OP posts:
ringmybe11 · 08/01/2024 21:26

I conceived DS on second month of tracking my cycle/ovulation but we had been 'trying' for a couple of months prior to that as well. I was 38 and DH 45 at the time. Neither of us have children with our exes - I consider us very lucky that it all worked out but was aware that it could have been too late for us. Most of my friends have more than 1 child and have either struggled to have no 1 or no 2 and with our ages we have decided to quit while we're ahead with 1 child.

CurlyWurly1991 · 09/01/2024 08:14

OP I would have a read of ‘it starts with the egg’ as there are things you can do in the months before you start trying to improve both egg and sperm quality.

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