How important is age when TTC?

[TTCquestion]

Hi all. I just saw a reply on a thread about conception (about whether it’s down to luck) which got me thinking. One poster emphasised how it really comes down to age.

We are wondering when to start TTC for DC2 and my DH thinks we could wait a few years (although said whenever I’m really). I’m 36 now and we were really fortunate as it happened pretty quickly with DC1 so I think he imagines it’ll be similar next time. I reminded him that we might not be so lucky next time, especially if we leave a gap of a few years. I worry it’ll be a risk, waiting, even though I know I’ll hardly be old in say three years! We definitely want another baby.

So I suppose I’d like to hear about experiences of TTC at different ages. Did it take you longer to conceive when older? What ages were you at the time of different t pregnancies? You might think something else was a factor which I’d also appreciate hearing about, if you’re happy to share of course.

Thanks in advance!

Fertility does decline rapidly after 35 so I would get cracking. I certainly wouldn't leave it a few years at 36.
I conceived first attempt at 35. Started trying for my second at 37 and I think it took about 8 months with 2 very early miscarriages.
My friend had seven miscarriages in her early 40s, this was after having 3 children easily in her 20s and early 30s.

Hello! I fell pregnant with my second when my little boy was 8 months old. Also had a CS. No one has ever mentioned it to me and I have been advised I could have a vbac this time round if I wanted to (but I don't!). One gynaecologist told me anything more than 6 months was fine.

As follow up, same gynaecologist told me my chance of a successful vbac this time around was around 70 percent. Slightly lower than 75 percent success due to a shorter age difference.

Not having a vbac though and it doesn't bother me (plus baby is breech at 37 weeks so don't think I'll have a choice!!!)

All the best to you.

Thank you for sharing although with the stats which are always great to hear. My (emergency!) C section was surprisingly incredible and very calm compared to many vaginal birth stories I hear and read so I don’t blame you at all - especially if they’re breech! I’d probably go for an elective tbh for peace of mind. Good luck with your final couple of weeks of pregnancy and the newborn stage again. How lovely.

Sharing, also with the stats**

So sorry to hear about your two miscarriages - and your friend’s! They are always painful, no matter how early. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

I have two children and pregnant with number three currently.

My first took us 10 months to conceive and we were 24 and 26 years old.

My second took us 10 months again to conceive and we were 27 and 30 years old.

Third baby we just thought let’s not track anything, let’s stop contraception and when it happens it happens. Happened in the second cycle and we’re now 29 and 31 (nearly 32).

So although I’m aware we’re still on the younger side, age hasn’t really affected us at all, in fact it’s been the opposite.

I remember my mom telling me when she was 40 years old she started trying for my youngest brother and her and my stepdad dtd ONCE as after 3 kids she knew her body quite well and was aware she was ovulating, that’s all it took.

It took me 7 years to have dd and I was 10 years younger than you when I started trying. Ds was only 1.

Fertility is never going to improve with age. Beyond that, it's all a bit unknown. I know people who got pregnant with one time, then took years to have a 2nd. if you want a 2nd, start trying as soon as you can.

While I'm not denying fertility does decline with age alot of it is scare mongering and based on a very old study. There's no cliff it's a gradual decline.
Our mother's and grandmother's have been having babies well into their 40s . Having your first baby in your 40s around London is the normal.
I'm having my first at 38.
The decline is very much individual and you can't compare yourself to anything others are telling you . A woman at 42 may be super fertile and a woman at 30 may be suffering from premature ovarian reserve. The only way you can assess your fertility is to go get the tests to assess your hormone levels , amh follicle count

I got pg first try at 39. But I had two lots of two year secondary infertility at 33 and 37. If you find out you have secondary infertility at 39 you have no time really to investigate it. Had my first ever mc at 43 and nothing since dispite having four kids and on no contraception. I'm still having 28 day cycles dispite fast approaching 50 now. It's a gamble I'd not like to take because no one knows for sure when you personally will too old, but once your there, its game over for having your own biological children.

Ideally you would want to have 18 months after delivery for a VBAC. But that means you can TTC when baby is 9 months. But that's not to say you can't have one sooner. If I was your age and wanted 2 dc I wouldn't deny trying for that reason.

If you know you want another and you can afford it… get going now would be my advice.

I had my first at 37/38 and second 39/40. I left it a year before TTC as I had an ELCS.

I had very regular cycles but consider myself very lucky to get pregnant easily / quickly both times with no miscarriages and 2 healthy children.

Your own health in pregnancy is another consideration
I hadn’t factored for was how much harder my second pregnancy would be. I have had additional health issues and have found the pregnancy in general to be harder going.

Well, ttc at 37 was too late for me!

Yes, we’re just outside London. My obstetrician told me he routinely has patients in their late forties and even some early fifties when I asked about my age. I wondered how many use donor eggs given that egg quality decreases with age. Thanks for sharing and all the best with your pregnancy and baby!

It's not so much about getting pregnant as staying pregnant as you head towards your forties. Miscarriage rates rise fast.

If I were you I'd wait a year or maybe two to conceive, but not "a few years".

Thanks for your honesty. Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. That’s surprising that you had unexplained infertility for those two periods but conceived instantly at 39. The body works in strange ways. A friend of mine swore by acupuncture to help her conceive after two years of secondary infertility but I must emphasise it was unexplained. Of course that’s not going to work if someone had a certain medical problem causing it, in case anyone is reading thinking I’m downplaying infertility. I’d hate to cause offence.

Interesting you had such a different experience second time round despite it being really not much time!

We started trying for our first baby when I was 31 and nothing happened for a year, then I had my baby when I was almost 33. When he was 16 months, we decided to start trying again as we assumed it would take a long time. Wrong! Got pregnant first time and had baby number 2 at 34.
At 38, we decided to try again and I assumed I was too old to conceive (!) and fell pregnant on our second try. I'm now 41 and currently ovulating with regular cycles and do think I could probably get pregnant if I wanted to, but I've had enough now!

Ah I’m so sorry to hear that.

I don't have much difference in terms of energy levels now compared to when I had my first at 32 and all three pregnancies were totally fine. I had a prolapse after my second baby and was aware of some of the old, previous damage of it during the third pregnancy. I found it hard to wall at the end but I think everything got very badly strained down there with the second as it was an instrumental delivery and I still have a lot of scar tissue down there. It didn't appreciate all the weight of a baby and extra blood flow!

Yes, very true. Because of decreased egg quality which can often lead to chromosomal abnormalities, I think(?), but please correct me if I’m wrong anyone.

Age is a huge factor. I read posts here all the time where the poster says 'all our results look good and we don't know why we're not conceiving' and then they dripfeed that they're forty. The tests won't tell you that your eggs are old, which they are at forty. It doesn't matter how healthy you are, your biological age is your biological age. I'll be honest and say I think some people have their head in the sand about it, like the posters who say 'I'm 42 and we're trying for our first'. Realistically at 42, you'll be lucky to have one. I'm not trying to be harsh but that's the reality. I conceived over 40 but I already had children and I was terrified of miscarriage during the whole pregnancy. If you want a second baby, try now.

Had DS at 34. Came off the pill in January and was pregnant by April without really trying.
Then had three losses in a row, all different and the last one was after 20 weeks.
Then had DD at 38, she’s about to turn 1.

If I were you I’d start trying sooner rather than later. You have no idea what will happen. I had the easiest pregnancy with DS and never imagined the three years of hell we went through after him would happen to me.

I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

We have neighbours who also started trying early, expecting another delay second time round, yet conceived first try. Typical but they’re happy to put up with the chaos of two little ones rather than go through more uncertainty and the stress of not knowing when or if it’ll happen.