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Worried I’ve left it too late
AuntFlosmiserableniece · 17/03/2023 17:01
I’m 37 and we’re ttc #1 and I’m panicking we’ve left it too late. My Mum recently casually mentioned she went through menopause in her early / mid 40s recently, which did not give me any comfort.
I’m also having the oddest cycle, no sore boobs (usually they hurt a week before AF shows up) and then AF turned up yesterday (cd25) which is really unusual for me, I normally have a 28 day cycle - initially thought it could be an implantation bleed, but doesn’t look like that’s the case. Panicking it’s sore sort of perimenopause symptom.
We haven’t been trying for long at all, but I’m worried. Is it worth private investigations (or an at home fertility test kit?). I’m scared of the results, but I suppose it’s better to know sooner rather than later as time is very much not on my side - does anyone have any experience of these?
sorry for the long post. AF’s early arrival has thrown me a bit - I had been planning to break out the FRER today as I just felt ‘different’ (all in my head, clearly!)
MK85 · 19/03/2023 01:19
Hi op, your not the only 37 year old ttc their first. There's no cliff after 37 , fertility starts to decline gradually so unless you have any known fertility issues then youve just a good of a shot as anyone although even for healthy couples it can still take time.
I struggled even when I was young.
I've been trying for many many years since 20 and not even a sniffle of a positive throughout that time although I found out few years ago I have pcos and more recently he has sperm issues contributing so for that reason we've been referred for ivf. I don't ovulate and I don't have regular periods ( 1-2 a year) although I had my first ever regular back to back period in December and actually got pregnant. I couldn't believe it but unfortunately I lost it at 2 weeks. My hormones are completely screwed up which I think is most likely the reason but if it wasn't for that I think its definitely very possible . There's lots of positive stories on here from women 37 +
SilentNightDancer · 19/03/2023 06:51
I started ttc at 37 and conceived at 38 after 9 cycles.
I didn't have any tests done but I was using OPKs and tracking bbt. This reassured me that I was ovulating each month and that my luteal phase was not too short. I figured it was probably a just a matter of time before I conceived, and it was.
82% of women aged 35-39 conceive within a year. Personally, I would give it at least six months of tracking ovulation and bbt before having tests done (unless the OPKs and bbt suggest there is a problem).
SazCat · 19/03/2023 07:09
Just another positive experience to share, I had quite irregular periods but had babies at almost 36 and 40. It took 7 months first time, then a year the second time (incl one early MC).
I did use the digital ovulation kits with the smiley face on, as my cycles varied in length from month to month!
EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 06/05/2023 08:00
AuntFlosmiserableniece · 17/03/2023 17:33
Thank you @NatGee that’s really helpful to know, I’ll get something booked in now. I’ve been using the clear blue ovulation detector and it seems to think that I’m ovulating, do you think bbt would be better?
I found it very useful. Neither off those are a guarantee you are ovulating, but if you do both and can track the post ovulation temperature rise it's a pretty good indicator you are. I ovulate earlier in my cycle then I would have guessed. Temping can be really helpful if you're cycles fluctuating a bit. I was a bit younger than you when we started TTC, but my previously reliable cycle threw in a few random shorter ones and I have no idea why. I have read stress can throw it off, so maybe there's that.
Notthatkindofbear · 06/05/2023 08:08
I think research is probably useful, especially as it seems to be on your mind.
I don’t want to minimise the difficulties that people go through ttc and I absolutely appreciate that age is a factor, HOWEVER, on the flip side, all of my social circle (about 20 couples) have had all their children between 35 and 42 & only one had difficulty conceiving. So don’t panic! Although lots of women have children younger, there are LOTS of us who (for all sorts of reasons often outside our control) are starting families in our late 30s. My neighbour was 40 & 42 with her two and a friend down the road had an accidental child at 45. Another friend just had accidental twins at 41. So keep faith 🙂
Blessedmummytobe · 06/05/2023 08:16
Congratulations @AuntFlosmiserableniece I forgot to update and say I also got my BFP last week! It’s faint but definately there. I’m now on a Due in January 2024 thread if you want to join.
For anyone wondering what I did…sounds cliche but I just relaxed. I stopped the OPKs, I wasn’t bothered about making sure we had sex on specific days or times, I went out with friends and focussed on a upcoming holiday I had…also drank hot water with a slice of lemon daily lol. I’m 38 very nearly 39. This will be my first child 💜
I wish you all the best and believe it will happen x
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