Worried I’ve left it too late

[AuntFlosmiserableniece]

I’m 37 and we’re ttc #1 and I’m panicking we’ve left it too late. My Mum recently casually mentioned she went through menopause in her early / mid 40s recently, which did not give me any comfort.

I’m also having the oddest cycle, no sore boobs (usually they hurt a week before AF shows up) and then AF turned up yesterday (cd25) which is really unusual for me, I normally have a 28 day cycle - initially thought it could be an implantation bleed, but doesn’t look like that’s the case. Panicking it’s sore sort of perimenopause symptom.

We haven’t been trying for long at all, but I’m worried. Is it worth private investigations (or an at home fertility test kit?). I’m scared of the results, but I suppose it’s better to know sooner rather than later as time is very much not on my side - does anyone have any experience of these?

sorry for the long post. AF’s early arrival has thrown me a bit - I had been planning to break out the FRER today as I just felt ‘different’ (all in my head, clearly!)

[NatGee]

@AuntFlosmiserableniece Your worries are probably a little premature without any investigations being done. Our periods can change throughout our lives and even though they are a sign of us growing older, it doesn't necessarily mean that its because we're too old. The recommendation is to begin investigating if youve tried for 6 months without success but id begin sooner if you can. A trip to a fertility clinic will see that all your tests are done fairly quickly and id send your DP to get a semen analysis done too.
We've just conceived at 38+39 and I thought the same, that perhaps the menopause was knocking on my door, we did all the tests however and they came back normal. For peace of mind, id recommend it
Good luck and baby dust x

[Minimummonday]

Don’t panic, the chances are you’ll be absolutely fine. I started trying when 37 and got the doctor to check hormone levels etc. just tell them you’ve been trying a year and they’ll do some basic investigations.

I got pregnant within 5 months and in my NCT group I was second youngest

[Loveyoutomatoes]

@Minimummonday

Don’t panic, the chances are you’ll be absolutely fine. I started trying when 37 and got the doctor to check hormone levels etc. just tell them you’ve been trying a year and they’ll do some basic investigations.

I got pregnant within 5 months and in my NCT group I was second youngest

It's not right to be lying like that...

[AuntFlosmiserableniece]

Thank you @NatGee for such a kind response. It’s lovely to hear that you’ve conceived at 38, congratulations! I think I will give us one more cycle, but get something booked in for my next cycle.

I honestly never thought I’d be 37 and wailing over a pair of blood stained knickers…..but here we are!

[NatGee]

@AuntFlosmiserableniece do, because theyll send you for a day 3 and day 21 bloods so each month you wait is another month you have to hang around. If you don't bbt, then I recommend it. You want to make sure you go for bloods on the day your flow is strongest (day 3) and then when your progesterone is highest (day 21) which may not fall on those days of your cycle! The last thing you want is for the bloods to come back that youre not ovulating just because you went on the wrong days. Good luck

[Blessedmummytobe]

Hi jumping on here. I’m 38. I don’t think I’ll have issues-periods are regular and my opk show I’m ovulating but you always worry. @NatGee how long we’re you trying?

[AuntFlosmiserableniece]

Thank you @NatGee that’s really helpful to know, I’ll get something booked in now. I’ve been using the clear blue ovulation detector and it seems to think that I’m ovulating, do you think bbt would be better?

[Totalwasteofpaper]

100% fertility testing now
Knowledge is power.
I had my first at 38 /39 without much trouble / any medical intervention.
We started investigating fertility but then i found out i was pregnant...

[AuntFlosmiserableniece]

@Loveyoutomatoes I think @Minimummonday was just sharing her own experiences and suggestions. I assume you have had a different experience?

[Loveyoutomatoes]

She wasn't sharing experience or suggestions. She suggested you lie by saying 'just tell them you were trying for a year' which isn't the right thing to do. Imagine if everyone did this after TTC for couple months, what would be the state of the NHS?

[AuntFlosmiserableniece]

@Loveyoutomatoes Oh I see. We will absolutely get tests privately as we’re in the fortunate position to be able to do that.

[NatGee]

@AuntFlosmiserableniece @Blessedmummytobe opks don't guarantee ovulation. Only way to know for sure is through your bbt or a blood test (which is what the gp will ask to see).
We fell on the 10th cycle. Longer than I thought, naively but glad to have gotten our bfp.

[allgoodthings84]

like @NatGee I’m 38 and currently pregnant. I was really worried it would take ages or wouldn’t happen at all. I did have bloods through nhs before 6 months but it was because of the spotting I had for 3-4 days pre AF they wanted to check my hormone levels. All was fine. Still no idea why I spot.

I didn’t BBT (wasn’t possible for me) but I do recommend OPK’s. They don’t guarantee ovulation but it’s rare to get proper regular positives on them if you’re not ovulating. It does happen but it’s not common. The hormone blood tests confirmed I was ovulating fine though

If you can afford private I would get the bloods done asap as it will be a weight off your mind and we all know less stress is better for ttc 😊

[Blessedmummytobe]

@allgoodthings84 does an opk test drop after immediately after ovulation happens or once the egg has died?

I had a super strong test yesterday afternoon. It’s dropped drastically this morning. Managed to also DTD this morning just in case.

[AuntFlosmiserableniece]

@Blessedmummytobe my understanding is that it drops once ovulation has taken place, but I think the egg lasts another 24 hours or so.

[38andtrying]

If you have a spare few hundred go and get your folicle count and amh levels checked, this will give you an idea of egg reserve and potentially put your mind at ease. I got mine done and the morning I had consultation with the doctor to discuss results I found out I was pregnant. I am 38 and have had one failed pregnancy and now on second pregnancy, 6 weeks so very early.

Best of luck x

[macaronicheese123]

@AuntFlosmiserableniece

I’m 37 and we’re ttc #1 and I’m panicking we’ve left it too late. My Mum recently casually mentioned she went through menopause in her early / mid 40s recently, which did not give me any comfort.

I’m also having the oddest cycle, no sore boobs (usually they hurt a week before AF shows up) and then AF turned up yesterday (cd25) which is really unusual for me, I normally have a 28 day cycle - initially thought it could be an implantation bleed, but doesn’t look like that’s the case. Panicking it’s sore sort of perimenopause symptom.

We haven’t been trying for long at all, but I’m worried. Is it worth private investigations (or an at home fertility test kit?). I’m scared of the results, but I suppose it’s better to know sooner rather than later as time is very much not on my side - does anyone have any experience of these?

sorry for the long post. AF’s early arrival has thrown me a bit - I had been planning to break out the FRER today as I just felt ‘different’ (all in my head, clearly!)

Midwife here! I work at a GPs surgery in an affluent area, i don’t have any patients under 35 and many are over 40. You have definitely not left it too late! You will be ok.

[AuntFlosmiserableniece]

@macaronicheese123 thank you so much for posting. You and the other ladies who have shared their experiences have made me feel so much better.

[Hopefulhoney6]

I’m in London and lots and lots of people I know have had babies later. So I wouldn’t worry!! I’m 35 and have had one MMC so far…. But took us 5 months.
The one thing I would say though, is remember it can be your partner who has problems too! My DH did a spend test as soon as we started trying - £120 and showed all ok. It’s not just the woman….!
the female tests you can pay for are OK, but AMH just tells you how many eggs you have left (not quality - although generally the quality reduces as you get older/ have fewer left!!). Have a follicle count is only really relevant for IVF I believe. But you can have bloods to check you’re ovulating, but if you do OPKs, BBT and get cervical mucus and regular periods then generally you are!!
So really consider the male tests first as well :)
But good luck! X

[allgoodthings84]

@Blessedmummytobe i had super fast surges so strong positive one day and negative the next so if your test line was as dark as or darker yesterday then you’re likely ovulating today

[Blessedmummytobe]

Thanks @AuntFlosmiserableniece @allgoodthings84 yesterday and todays pic attached x

[allgoodthings84]

@Blessedmummytobe definitely peak yesterday 😊 ovulation is usually 12-36 hours after first positive

[LividNC]

Do a test @AuntFlosmiserableniece
I’ve been twice pregnant with an early “period”.

[AuntFlosmiserableniece]

@LividNC it’s been 2 full days now with clots and cramping (sorry for tmi) and isn’t showing any signs of stopping, so I think I’m out, but will test tomorrow with fmu to put that niggle to bed once and for all!

[MintJulia]

OP, I know it's hard not to worry but I conceived ds at 44+4 after losing an ovary and a tube, and being told I was unlikely to conceive.

You never know what's around the corner, so maybe try to be a bit more relaxed about it all. 💐