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Original poster

To book a long haul holiday when I may be pregnant?

32 replies

8e88e · 13/03/2023 12:09

Hi everyone!

So I would just like to hear a few opinions on this, as me and DH have different opinions.

We have been waiting a few years for the right time to TTC and finally we have bought a house and are stable etc. My DH is currently studying a qualification to be able to get a promotion and things are falling into place a little bit more.

The only thing that is now stopping us is our dream trip to America. We are decorating our new house but with the spare bit of money that we have left over each month we are putting it into savings for our America trip. This is going to take us a while, I don't see us having the funds to book it until the end of the year, so the trip will probably be in a year's time.

I know it's not really that long to wait and my head does tell me to just wait and enjoy our big holiday as a free couple before TTC. However my heart has been aching for a baby for 4 years now and it isn't getting any easier. I will be 30 in a few months so we aren't pressed for time exactly, however you never know how long it's going to take. Is it sensible to start sooner rather than later and not delay, or is it more sensible to just wait another 12 months for the trip that we have both been dreaming of for years?

Our original plan was that America was going to be April (but then we bought a house instead so we had to move the USA trip back) and TTC in the summer time, about July/August.

DH thinks we should just get on with it and TTC later this year and if I am pregnant for America so what? But I wonder whether I will be able to enjoy it? I have never flown long haul before and am already not keen on flying so not sure how the added stress of possibly being pg would affect it. Plus wouldn't I be tired or sick etc and too exhausted to walk around exploring? I don't know if I'm just overthinking it. Would you just wait and enjoy your trip without the extra worry as it's not TOO much longer really, or just get on with TTC?

I would appreciate some advice and opinions. I feel like maybe I am just being impatient for TTC but I've waited so many years with this overwhelming feeling of wanting a baby that it's very hard to ignore now. But equally I might regret it if it impacts our dream holiday they we have spent thousands on

OP posts:
Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 13/03/2023 12:25

This is a tough one. Like you say age wise you have time on your side, I didn't start TTC until 32.

We did do all our travelling first, we went to Australia the month before we started trying and various other places in the 3 to 4 years before however at that time I was not 'yearning for a baby'. I am very happy with my decision to have that time just us. We were lucky and conceived reasonably quickly maybe I would have regretted it if this was not the case.

Regarding travelling whilst pregnant again really depends on how you feel. I felt great after around 14 weeks and we went on holiday a few times (not abroad though as I had some bleeding early on which made me nervous to travel) and I was regularly able to walk a good few miles a day but some people have terrible sicknesses/ pelvic pain etc so not the same for everyone.

Probably not given you much help towards an answer but maybe food for thought x

leggingsandasweatshirt · 13/03/2023 12:26

I'm sorry to give a negative opinion but my advice would be to be wary. As we speak I should have been on a long haul holiday but had to cancel at the last minute because I had a miscarriage last week and wasn't fit to fly.

We stand to loose a fortune because the travel insurance doesn't appear to cover the full cost of the cancelled trip (it was quite an expensive holiday) even in the circumstances.

It's totally our fault as we booked it knowing I'd be in the first trimester (not to mention for having shit insurance 🤦‍♀️) but just made a sad situation feel worse if you see what I mean.

Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 13/03/2023 12:31

@leggingsandasweatshirt sorry for your loss x

MangoPineapple11 · 13/03/2023 12:36

We were in a similar situation and we're going to wait till a trip that would be September 2024. We have decided to try shortly instead as much as I'd love that trip, I feel we've put off enough waiting for house etc.
I am also turning 30.

It's a personal choice though and like you say, you don't know how long it will take.
could you try then if you don't fall, pause and book, try again ?

Original poster
8e88e · 13/03/2023 13:30

Thanks guys, I'm glad I posted on here now because it seems like just waiting may be the best option, which tbh I do think is right and makes sense. It's just hard when you find yourself wishing time away to be able to TTC

OP posts:
ChatterMonkey · 13/03/2023 13:36

Is a compromise possible? So make extra efforts to save for america so that you can do it in 6 months time, and then wait for ttc till after?

Might be a bit tight until the holiday, and saving every penny possible for it. But means you get your dream holiday and then get to start ttc earlier?

flipperdoda · 13/03/2023 13:40

When you say you're decorating your house - to be what level? If it was paint and buying new furniture (that you needed rather than wanted) I'd say pause that, save more towards the trip so you can go earlier, then TTC whilst decorating the house. I'd rather be pregnant with unpainted walls than trying to fly long haul.

If you mean the floors are cracked and the windows let rain in, my answer would be different..!

flipperdoda · 13/03/2023 13:41

Sorry - furniture that you wanted rather than needed! I.e. if the house is liveable right now and you're just making it better, rather than making it liveable.

Radiatorvalves · 13/03/2023 13:48

What do you want to do on holiday? That may also impact whether it’s a good idea to be in the US while pregnant. I went to the states a couple of times when 6/7 months pregnant and it was fine. DH was working there. I didn’t go to Bermuda (working there too) as I’d have been just over 8 months and there not insured.

flying and everything else was fine - but not everyone will feel the same.

JussathoB · 13/03/2023 14:26

I think you are right to be cautious about how you might feel on a long haul expensive holiday if you would be pregnant. And travel becomes more difficult and more expensive after you have children.
However the trouble is that if you are not careful, there’s always a reason to wait while you do something else before TTC.
if you are longing for a baby and DH is supportive and other circumstances seem good, in your situation I would go ahead and TTC

drpet49 · 13/03/2023 14:36

What if you get bad morning sickness? You won’t enjoy the holiday at all.

Original poster
8e88e · 13/03/2023 14:37

@ChatterMonkey @flipperdoda yes actually you are both right with this! In terms of decorating, it is livable but not in the best condition. A couple of the rooms need completely ripping out and starting from scratch. But liveable, yes.. it could definitely be done at a more slower pace than planned.

I think this is the way forwards.. re prioritise and try and get the holiday in this year

OP posts:
flipperdoda · 13/03/2023 14:44

I'd do that then! If whatever room you relax in needs ripping out and redoing it I'd prioritise that (having had a living room that needed work, it was so hard to chill out in when I sat down and just saw problems!) but otherwise - you sleep in a bedroom, cook in a kitchen, shower/wee etc in a bathroom...if you can do all that in those rooms, just put them off for a bit longer. Best of luck with all the plans no matter what order you end up doing them in though - they all sound exciting!

log51 · 13/03/2023 14:58

Another thing to mention since it's the US is if unfortunately you had any problems in early pregnancy i.e. an ectopic pregnancy and you were in a State that did not "intervene" in pregnancy, your life could be at risk, plus I think travel insurance would be pretty horrendously expensive at any stage of pregnancy for US.

Separately it's been touched upon but I'm just coming out of my first trimester and there is no way I would have wanted to be away the past 6/7 weeks as the exhaustion has been unreal plus aversions to loads of foods, so not ideal for a big hol!

googledidnthelp · 13/03/2023 15:01

Can't you just book the trip last minute if you aren't pregnant? Why has it got to be one or the other now?
If it was me I would TTC and not book the holiday. That's the position I'm in with my honeymoon at the minute.
I'd love to be pregnant by the time get married in August and happy to not plan a honeymoon until closer to the time.

Ponderingwindow · 13/03/2023 15:08

I threw up every single day of my pregnancy. Most days multiple times.

We had to attend a family wedding at one point and it was very difficult. The drive there was several hours and I puked in a bucket the whole way. I spent the entire weekend trying to rest and make sure I would be in a state where I could pretend to be ok for a few hours when we attended events. It should have been a fun weekend, but it was miserable.

Every pregnancy is different. I imagined something very different with mine. I imagined a very different first year with my baby as well. Life happens.

spending your hard earned money on a once in a lifetime vacation for while you are pregnant is a huge gamble.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/03/2023 15:13

Save the decorating for when you are ttcing. Save like mad for the US, go this year. Start TTC while you are there!

Bobshhh · 13/03/2023 15:24

You’ve got 9 months to decorate while you’re pregnant, have a big exciting holiday now instead.

Rachaelrachael · 13/03/2023 15:59

My advice would be to wait and enjoy your last holiday as just the 2 of you! We did a california road trip the month before we started IVF and it was such a special holiday knowing everything was about to change.
Also I cant imagine doing that trip whilst pregnant. Everyone's different but you just don't know how you're going to feel. I had terrible morning sickness, sheer exhaustion plus bleeding for the first 15 weeks. Didn't want to leave my bed never mind catch a long haul flight 😂

Chanel05 · 13/03/2023 16:02

I went to Florida at 20 weeks pregnant. All good.

leggingsandasweatshirt · 13/03/2023 16:03

@Tryingtoconceivenumber2 ah thank you how kind ❤️ no 2 for us too, fingers crossed for us both soon!

Original poster
8e88e · 13/03/2023 16:06

@Rachaelrachael I think we will be doing something very similar as it's California where we are going!

I know that you're right. I think I just needed to hear it from a few people and give myself a shake and tell myself to just be patient

OP posts:
Rachaelrachael · 13/03/2023 16:24

8e88e · 13/03/2023 16:06

@Rachaelrachael I think we will be doing something very similar as it's California where we are going!

I know that you're right. I think I just needed to hear it from a few people and give myself a shake and tell myself to just be patient

Ah how exciting! Absolutely loved our California trip, in our top 2 best ever holidays! Where will you be visiting? The thing I underestimated is just how big the place is and how many hours we'd be in the car. That was part of the fun cruising around in a mustang, but definitely wouldn't want to do it pregnant 😁

Original poster
8e88e · 13/03/2023 20:46

@Rachaelrachael yes I have heard that you literally have to drive everywhere!

I really want to go to Santa Monica and DH wants to go to LA of course. There's so many places that we want to go.. I would also love to spend a couple of days in Vegas. I'm not much of a gambler but just to see it would be brill.

Where would you recommend? Which places were your favourite?

OP posts:
LittleMiss2023 · 13/03/2023 21:43

So we have a 4 week trip to America booked for next month and I have just found out I am pregnant. 😬

Obviously, we knew this when we decided to start trying, but I guess we didn’t think it would happen straight away and didn’t want to delay it as we had decided we didn’t want a late December baby, so thought why not. Didn’t want to regret it down the line if we were struggling and question ‘we should have started sooner’.

And here we are. We’ve spoken about it and the trip may just be a bit different to what we originally planned. If there’s days I need to stay in bed, that’s ok, my DH can still go and explore. Or we just walk slower and take more stops. All the reading online showed flying is safe in first trimester, so it’s more just dealing with any potential morning sickness! We’ll see how we go!