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Original poster

What age do YOU personally think is too old for YOU to have a/more babies and why?

194 replies

Jaaxe · 19/01/2023 18:30

Just curious as to what age you’d stop having babies and why? How old would be too old for you and why? I’ve just had a baby and I thought I’d be done after this one but now im not so sure, it all seems pretty final to say im done but maybe I am….maybe it’s the hormones, I certainly don’t want another anytime soon or maybe even at all but then I wonder if I did decide im not done how old is too old :/ perhaps im just feeling like this as this one was meant to be my last one…

OP posts:
Original poster
Jaaxe · 20/01/2023 07:27

Thanks everyone, it’s interesting to see and hear everyone else’s perspectives and things everyone considers….I’m nearly 33 and I always had 35 as my cut off for having all my children (that however would have certainly increased had I not had any by then/ found the right partner or had I have had fertility issues as others have said etc) but that would mean I’d have to decide to have another within the next 2 years and that seems very soon, I just thought I’d feel absolutely completely done after this one, she’s only 6 weeks though so maybe that will come with time. I don’t know why I don’t feel the done having children because I’m absolutely knackered 😂

OP posts:
Allblackeverythingalways · 20/01/2023 07:33

I didn't manage to conceive and gave up at 40.
I didn't want to be arguing with teenagers in my late 50s and I didn't want to leave a young adult that still needs me behind when I die.
The higher risks of being an older parent was a factor.

Moonriver79 · 20/01/2023 08:53

SoBizarre · 19/01/2023 20:54

I'm 36 now, I had my first at 31 and second at 34. If someone could hand me a third, I would say yes!! However my mental health is a long term struggle and my pregnancies/post natal times made things a lot worse. I'd be scared to risk it again, especially as my eldest has sen.
However, if I was in a position to go for a third, I think 40/41 would be the limit. And that in itself would make me worry, e.g. more risks and possible complications due to age.

I don't want to let go of any baby things yet, 'just in case'. Does anyone else feel like that?

Yes me! We have a loft full of baby things ‘just incase’ even though it has been 11 years since DC2 was born

PinkPantherPaws · 20/01/2023 09:02

I had my third at 30.

Had money been no option - as we'd have needed a bigger house and cars - we'd have tried for a fourth a couple of years later, but we kept our senses and DH had the snip.

I wouldn't have wanted any more past early 30's, 35 max ideally - I definitely don't want to be dealing with dc or teenagers in my 50s plus like some of my colleagues are. I want to be semi retiring and off on cruises in my 50s not doing school runs!

SpaceJamtart · 20/01/2023 09:17

I had mine young and wouldn't want anymore from now so my literal cut off is mid 20s. Had them very close together and I am content with having little children now, teens when I am in my 30s and adults in my 40s- personally I wouldn't want to get all that way and then have another baby to raise.
But as a theoretical cut off point I don't know- I have no idea what it feels like to be 35 or 45 and if I hadn't had children by then maybe I would still want to.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 20/01/2023 09:39

I always said I didn't want teens in my 60s.
I had my dc at 37 and 40 - 3 weeks before my 41st birthday. That felt plenty.

To be honest, children were always a "nice to have" rather than a "must do". No burning desire for more than a couple.

Babydust00 · 20/01/2023 13:36

Ooh I find this thread really interesting.
I am early 20s hence the username and we’re TTC this year. Not shared our plans with anyone in real life, obviously, but worried we will face judgement / the assumption it was unplanned. Being younger makes sense for us and we feel as ready as we will ever be. Both come from older parents and want to make sure future DC get enough time with their grandparents and vice versa.

Not thought of a limit, I suppose it will depend, but I don’t think I’d want to be pregnant after 35. We’re hoping to have 2, possibly 3, DC and it would be great if this can all be our 20s. Like the idea of empty nest and more freedoms by 50!

berksandbeyond · 20/01/2023 13:36

35 would be a hard line for me personally

alanabennett · 20/01/2023 13:40

KittyCatChat · 19/01/2023 20:27

I had my pretty young. So given those circumstances I would never have another child over the age of 30 tops.

However, if I'd hadn't had any children then I'd say I'd happy to have one up till about 42.

Knowing what I know now. Glad I had them young. I'm still under 50 with all children over 25.

It's heaven.

Goodness! How old were you when you had them?

MissGroves · 20/01/2023 13:41

I stopped at 37 - I have two high/additional needs children. In my ideal world I would have had 3 children, but finances and the fact I have nothing left to give to another child (emotionally, mentally, physically) that I had to stop. I don’t think I’m too old (43) but circumstances are not right so two it is.

alanabennett · 20/01/2023 13:43

I find these threads do interesting! Especially the posters that say they couldn't be doing with kids/teenagers when they're in their fifties. I'm in my forties but fifties isn't old! I'm just hitting my prime 😂

TangledWebOfDeception · 20/01/2023 13:46

I'm 47 (or is it 46? Hmm ) now and definitely well over and done with that stage of my life. It would not be right for me/us/potential child at all.

I loved having young children but I love having grown up children just as much, if not more!

MissGroves · 20/01/2023 13:47

Jaaxe · 20/01/2023 07:27

Thanks everyone, it’s interesting to see and hear everyone else’s perspectives and things everyone considers….I’m nearly 33 and I always had 35 as my cut off for having all my children (that however would have certainly increased had I not had any by then/ found the right partner or had I have had fertility issues as others have said etc) but that would mean I’d have to decide to have another within the next 2 years and that seems very soon, I just thought I’d feel absolutely completely done after this one, she’s only 6 weeks though so maybe that will come with time. I don’t know why I don’t feel the done having children because I’m absolutely knackered 😂

I think it is quite common to feel massively broody when you have a fairly new baby - something to do with hormones. I was trying to breastfeed/pump for a non feeding/failure to thrive, allergy child on hourly feeds and I had the most overwhelming urge for another (like you around 4-6 weeks)! The feelings were ridiculously intense - this was child number two and the feelings passed! 😆

thunderandsunshine01 · 20/01/2023 13:49

About 35, I had an 'older' mum (and dad) and I didn't enjoy the experience as a child and surely don't love having a very dependant parent and 1 deceased parent in my 20's.

Realistically, it will be about 29/30 as I am 27 now with 3 already, wanting 1 more.

TangledWebOfDeception · 20/01/2023 13:49

@alanabennett Speaking for myself, I want to spend the prime of my life doing lots of other things outside of motherhood/building my own life just for me, with my needs and wants in mind. Of course if I hadn't had children yet at early to mid 40s I'd likely see it very differently - it's all about overall balance, IMO.

SylvanianFrenemies · 20/01/2023 13:52

We stopped trying for our 3rd when I was 42.

I had had 4 losses in a row, including a tfmr and a missed miscarriage which ended in excessive bleeding and emergency surgery.

It just felt like my body wasn't up to the task anymore, and we wanted to concentrate on enjoying life with our existing kids. Three years on it feels like it was the right decision.

Krakenes · 20/01/2023 13:54

Probably around 46.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 20/01/2023 14:58

alanabennett · 20/01/2023 13:43

I find these threads do interesting! Especially the posters that say they couldn't be doing with kids/teenagers when they're in their fifties. I'm in my forties but fifties isn't old! I'm just hitting my prime 😂

Everyone is different. How many joint replacements had you had by 30?

WaddleAway · 20/01/2023 15:06

alanabennett · 20/01/2023 13:43

I find these threads do interesting! Especially the posters that say they couldn't be doing with kids/teenagers when they're in their fifties. I'm in my forties but fifties isn't old! I'm just hitting my prime 😂

Exactly. I want to spend my ‘prime’ being able to travel a bit, go to nice restaurants, looking after myself a bit. Not doing the primary school run!

WalkthisWayUK · 20/01/2023 15:08

I’m 50, I travel a fair bit, go to nice restaurants sometimes, look after myself a bit.

Oh, and I also do the primary school run and absolutely love being a mum this age! I’d say for me it’s much easier and I”m better at it than when I had my first child, late 20s.

I wouldn’t judge anyone of any age who had a kid, not sure why anyone would want to judge me. Each to their own!

Mummyo1 · 20/01/2023 15:09

My mum had me at 37 which I personally feel is too old. 35 max is the age for me. I'm currently 27 and TTC my 2nd and last baby.

WaddleAway · 20/01/2023 15:15

WalkthisWayUK · 20/01/2023 15:08

I’m 50, I travel a fair bit, go to nice restaurants sometimes, look after myself a bit.

Oh, and I also do the primary school run and absolutely love being a mum this age! I’d say for me it’s much easier and I”m better at it than when I had my first child, late 20s.

I wouldn’t judge anyone of any age who had a kid, not sure why anyone would want to judge me. Each to their own!

Who is judging you? I don’t care what age other people have their children. I just wouldn’t want to be looking after young children in my 50’s.

alanabennett · 20/01/2023 15:33

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 20/01/2023 14:58

Everyone is different. How many joint replacements had you had by 30?

Show quote history

The same number I've had at 46.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 20/01/2023 15:36

alanabennett · 20/01/2023 15:33

The same number I've had at 46.

Show quote history

And I'll have had an even greater number by the time I'm 46

Mycatisasleep · 20/01/2023 15:37

I'm 38. In an ideal world I wish I'd had two by 36 but not before 32. But I didn't think like then. I hope I have a second child before I'm 40. Personally I feel pretty tired and probably won't want more after 40 even if it's possible. But my mum was very energetic in her 40s and could have probably looked after a baby well at 45 if not older.