POAS: With only the IC in stock...someone help us 🤣

[FfayeN]

You asked for it......😘

@TheBirdintheCave I second what @MrsCristianoX says. I honestly don't think they would just leave it if they felt there was an issue. I had all my notes on an app? Was yours the paper form? You could always request them.

@bunnykins123 Yeah it was all on paper. I dunno. I'm just so angry at myself for accidentally cancelling the appointment. It will be just like last time now when all I got to experience about being pregnant was a serious of depressing scans.

*series of

@bunnykins123 oh that's horrible, especially this time of year as there's so much about to catch! Glad you've not got any side effects, what is it you're taking if you don't mind me asking?

@TheBirdintheCave it does sound like they've misunderstood your email, though you did say it didn't read well when you went over it, could DH call and try to explain better? It seems odd they've pushed it back. Unless they got the wrong impression?
The booking in bloods are important as somethings can't be tested after 10 weeks. So that should still happen before then.
Xx

@FfayeN Really? No one mentioned anything about the bloods :/ I sent an email back when I was a little calmer and explained that they've made me feel utterly awful and have essentially validated my fears by moving the appointment back. No idea what or if they'll reply. I'll do some Googling re the bloods but I think they would have said if it was necessary. Plus, if it is, that really shows that they do believe it's all hopeless.

@TheBirdintheCave why do you think they moved the appointment? Did they explain it when they spoke to you? Yeh I think @FfayeN is right, you should have bloods around 10 weeks to check for downs etc.

@FfayeN I know, absolutely gutted! Just seems like there is so much going around at the moment. I'm on hydroxychloroquine (the trump drug!). Tastes rank but no major side affects.

This is what I wrote to them:

"I’m writing as I’m not sure whether to come to this appointment or not. I had a scan at the EPU when I was 7+1 but, though there was a heartbeat, I was measuring four days behind so I’m fairly certain I’m going to miscarry again.

The sonographer seemed happy and discharged me from the EPU to your care but I’m certain of my dates so there’s no way I could measure more than one or two days behind based on when I got my positive test.

I know the appointment is a week away but I don’t want to waste anyone’s time. I’ll leave it up to you if you want me to come in or not.

I’m extremely anxious and upset about the possibility of losing the baby. It’s all I can think about. I’m 36 now and we have fertility issues so it’s unlikely we’ll be able to conceive again without IVF, this is our last hope for a sibling for our son really :( And all this stress and sadness over Christmas too :(

I’ve booked a private scan for 9+4 which should give me a definite outcome. I expect to see no growth and no heart beat based on the last scan.

Please let me know if you’d still like me to attend the appointment."

They replied:

"I will move this booking appointment to Thursday 122thh January at 09.000_.
Please inform us if you no longer require this appointment."

@bunnykins123 I'm day 47 and looks like I spoke too soon had zero this afternoon gone back to clear 🙄 I'm getting no pains or anything but that isn't unusual for me. Sorry you've got covid I hope you feel better soon ❤️

@TheBirdintheCave sorry they've pushed it back lovely. With this last pregnancy I enquired about bloods around 10 weeks as I hadn't had an appointment through and they said as long as they are done before 12 weeks it's fine 🤷🏼‍♀️ seemed really odd to me as guidelines say between 8-10

@mummatara before my period, I can spot for a few days in advance with no pattern and then boom - there she is. I suspect she's on her way but it might just be a gradual process to get there.

@TheBirdintheCave oh hun I'm so sorry at their cold response. Honestly, the nhs could really do with a lesson in compassion. I would email back and ask to keep the original appointment, for peace of mind. Personally, I think they pushed you back as you asked them if it was needed (in their view it's not needed as all is OK) so you lost your slot. But still - someone cold was sat behind that desk when they received your email 💕

@bunnykins123 Yeah it was a really harsh response, not what I expecting at all.

@bunnykins123 god I hope so 🤞🏼 tbh I'm in a right ok funk of a mood so that's usually a good indication 😂

@TheBirdintheCave wow I can't believe the response they gave you how unfeeling 😳 I think whoever wrote that clearly didn't read your email properly. I agree you should tell them you want your original appointment

I wrote back and explained how upset it made me and that it felt like they were confirming my fears. We'll see what they say.

Glad it's not just me who felt it was really harsh 😂 Feel a bit more validated in my reaction now.

@TheBirdintheCave definitely a thoughtless response. It does sound as though you believed you had miscarried in your email, so I wonder if that's why they've postponed, as you'd mentioned checking at the private one. I really hope they come back to you with another appointment closer. I tend now to not ask and tell the doctors what I want. It feels rude at the time, but if you don't ask you don't get. xxx

@FfayeN I agree it does read like that. I still do feel that way as I can't imagine another outcome... Being autistic I tend to write things and then think about them later 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

Definitely abandoning the due date group I'm in and staying here I think. It was stupid of me to join in the first place. They're all talking about planning holidays next year and imagining with confidence that they'll end up with a baby. But like, HOW?? Miscarriage is so common, multiple miscarriages are so common, even after seeing a heart beat you could still lose the baby. How are they not all still terrified... or at the very least cautious.

Midwives replied.

"I am not suggesting that you are going to lose this baby nor can I tell you that everything will be ok but seeing a heart beat so early is positive.
It makes more sense to do your booking after you have had that 9 week scan.
We look forward to seeing you on the 12th of January at 09.00."

So... yeah. Apparently they can happily book anyone else in without a scan that proves the baby is alive but not me I have to provide proof of life. Besides, that appointment is thirteen days after my scan so, even if I see a heart beat then, there's nothing to say the baby won't be dead by the time of the appointment. All seems so dumb.

@TheBirdintheCave it's so hard to deal with these earlier stages. If someone has never experienced loss you just don't think it will be you. Then after the first you think that's it, next one will be healthy. For some that's just their coping mechanism, stay here though where you feel comfortable 😘.
From my own experience, I had the booking and bloods two days before my scan, where I found out it didn't have a heartbeat, so going to the scan first could save you some distress in that sense.
Personally think you should try and get a scan asap, even at a private place to stop the thoughts of miscarriage spiralling. It may give you what you need to get through the next 3 weeks 😘😘😘 xxx

@TheBirdintheCave that was a very crappy response about your appointment, I’d be confused and upset as well.
I don’t know how to ever enjoy pregnancy again knowing that nothing is guaranteed to be OK. It’s very sad 😔

@TheBirdintheCave oh hun. I hear you. Sadly, after a loss you loose that innocence of thinking a bfp leads to a baby. I do still think that all is well and that the baby will be fine. I do understand your concerns, I really do but I don't think the baby measuring behind is necessarily a sign of anything to worry about. I would try and book a private scan to get some clarity either way x

Thanks guys <3 I definitely think it helps to be in a group where other people understand where I'm coming from re previous loss.

The soonest I could book the scan was the 30th as Christmas gets in the way and Window to the Womb refuse to do scans that are less than 14 days after your last one. It's all really poor timing.

@TheBirdintheCave I absolutely detest due date threads. I don't blame you.

@MrsCristianoX It's definitely not what I thought it would be like 😂

@TheBirdintheCave just a thought, I remember you sending your chart for the month you got your bfp and it took a while after what you thought was O for your temp to rise. You may have O'd later which is why your temp rose later and babes dates are out by a few days? I think that was the case anyway!

@bunnykins123 I did wonder about that myself BUT I got my first positive at 10dpo. The earliest I think you can get one is 8dpo which could account for two of the missing days and my miscalculation of how the NHS counts pregnancy days removes another day but that still leaves one.

So... yes, maybe that makes it almost correct.

@TheBirdintheCave I had to come off the due date group it gave me such bad anxiety. I reckon they've given your appointment to someone else that's why she's saying stick with the revised date 🙄 is there nowhere else you could get a scan? We've got about 3 round here so could easily scan hop to avoid the 14 day window

Still no AF and no more spotting just that one tiny bit of brown cm yesterday morning 🙄 I'm like a broken record my ic is negative and frer is v faint so I'm going with I'm negative now😂 I'm not buying more tests. I'm going to carry on with opks we will dtd every few days af is either going to show or I'll ovulate 🤷🏼‍♀️ it's gotta be something