36 and delaying TTC because of house, am I crazy?

[TTCorHouseReno]

I’m 36 as is my DH. We’ve just bought our first house and we have been waiting to have a mortgage before we TTC for the security. We wanted to start trying this cycle. However the house needs more work than we originally thought which will be expensive. I’m now scared of TTC in case we end up juggling house bills alongside mat leave, me working part time. I keep thinking can we leave TTC just another few months to get more money under our belts. But part of me thinks no I’m 36 I need to crack on?! Am I crazy to wait?

I wouldn’t wait if you really want children.

I wouldn't wait if I were you, no. You have your whole lives to work on the house. Just make it safe for now. Good luck either way.

I hate to say it but time isn't on your side, don't wait if you really want children.

Don't wait - time isn't on your side especially if you want more than one

I’d wait having baby hard enough with out having finically struggle you could avoid

I wouldn’t wait.
im 36 now and we started trying when I was 34. I’m now three losses deep. I am not insinuating this May happen to you, but I wish I’d started earlier.

So I suppose I am projecting that on to you, but I would just start having a go.

I think you need to consider the fact that the chances of getting pregnant straight away (no matter your age) are not that high. So if in your head you are thinking you will be financially ready to be pregnant in a few months, in reality it might not be a another few months after that. So chances are if you start trying now you might only become pregnant in those few months during which you will want to be pregnant.

How many children do you want? If 2 or more, definitely crazy. If one, you could start tracking your cycle (in detail - BBT, CM etc), taking the folic acid and other supplements and be on the front foot when you start trying in a couple of months. But generally, I wouldn’t wait long at 36, it’s a gamble.

Personally I’d crack on if you definitely want a baby. It could take a while.

There will never be a perfect time - presumably the difference of a few months isn’t going to transform your finances.

If you do get pregnant then maybe you’ll be forced to make different financial decisions with doing work on the house etc but at least you’ll know and can plan accordingly.

At your age it’ll probably take up to a year to get pregnant anyway. I’d start now. Time is not on your side.

I wouldn’t wait. You can do the house in small stages. You do not know how long conceiving will take.

I wouldn’t wait if you want more than one. For me conceiving my first at your age was easy. It was my second child, after the time I then spent breast feeding, that was a complete nightmare. Secondary infertility is just one of the worst things I’ve been through.

If you want children I'd start TTC now - it could take a while and time moves fast....

If you actually want kids, get TTC.

Good point by PP that even if you don’t start trying, do start “preparing” if you haven’t already. E.g. tracking your cycles (I use Clue), monitor your cervical mucus (lovely), and use ovulation sticks and track the results.

we started TTC no.2 in early 2021, I’m now 34 and had four losses in that time. Currently 15w pregnant and have just been diagnosed with a clotting disorder. I wouldn’t wait if I were you. The likelihood is that even on a good run it’ll take you a few months, but sure even if you do conceive immediately it’ll work out. You just prioritise the work that’s essential and keep the exciting cosmetic stuff until you can afford it.

It’s always good to live in a house for a while before you make major changes anyway to see how you use the space, so perhaps having to delay major work for another year or two will work out in your favour.

I wouldn't wait. There's no right time. Even if you are fortunate to get pregnant soon, you still have 9 months to sort the house

TTC now if youre sure you want kids.. even on that off chance you fall pregnant straight away you will still have 8 months working to build up some reserves, and if you dont then you'll be glad you didnt delay

Sorry to hijack this thread. I am 30, can I wait to TTC? No house renovations but hoping to move in the next 2 years. Own a flat but want to upsize to a bigger flat and thought it was better before maternity leave.. also fall in house prices would make it easier.

I wouldn’t personally wait at your age but that’s because having (multiple) kids was a high priority for me and, as other have described, easy conception, pregnancy and birth isn’t a given. That said I also wouldn’t assume that it will definitely take a long time. I got pregnant first try with my third dc at 36 and that’s not uncommon either.

Also only want 1 child.

A house is for ever.

Fertility is a window of time and subject to so many individual biological variables it is impossible to predict.

However statistically it does start to reduce after 35 so if I were you i'd crack on with ttc.

I agree with the PPs, time isn't on your side. In your position, I wouldn't hold off any longer.

Adding a voice to the chorus, if I were you, I’d crack on. There’s never a ‘perfect’ time and you’d always find a reason not to but time isn’t on your side.

+1 to not waiting. I started TTC at 35 and have been through 2 miscarriages before falling pregnant again at 36 and this one going well. The miscarriages felt especially hard because I knew time wasn’t on my side - your egg quality decreases quickly now and takes a real plunge around 37-38. You don’t know how long it’s going to take you to conceive and then to carry to term - wish you the best of luck.