Overweight 36yo TTC for first time - would love company to fight wait and weight!!

[ClairLesley]

Hello. This is my first time on Mumsnet. I'm 36 years old, overweight, and desperate to conceive. Seems I can't turn around without seeing women with bumps/buggies/babies .... makes me convulse with jealousy!!! My 28 day cycle runs like clockwork and I've just started using an ovulation predictor. I've had 6 BFN months in a row now and am starting to feel it won't happen. For a week each month I get so hopeful wondering if my premenstrual cramps & niggles are really early signs of pregnancy ... but no, just dear old Aunt Flo. If there's anyone out there going through the same thing and hoping for a BIG FAT POSITIVE in February, I'd love your company!

Me! Also overweight but get periods every month. Trying to lose weight because I keep reading that it's the biggest single factor in conception. Wary of any speedy weight loss diets though in case that is bad idea for conceiving too.

Hey EllieL! Thanks for your post I'm trying to follow a very conservative diet too. I read that as long as you get regular periods when you're overweight then you must ovulating ok which is a good sign. AF arrived yesterday so I'm back at the start and hoping for a great February. How long have you been trying?

4 months. How overweight are you? I am a size 18 and about 100kg so pretty overweight. Just finished period.

Snap! I'm size 18 although bordering size 20. We started 'not trying but not not trying' around 8 months ago but have been trying in earnest for the past 4 months. AF arrived yesterday (I had been quietly hopeful she would stay away). Sounds like you're a few days ahead in your cycle compared to me, but we could keep each other's spirits up!! I'm thinking of starting to chart my temps ... do you do that? I think it might help me be more realistic during the 2 week wait after ovulation ... for the past few months I keep thinking my premenstrual pains could be imbedding pains or something similar and tend to get carried away only to be disappointed when AF arrives.

Sounds like me (and I'm def creeping up to the size 20 mark). I get the egg white stuff and also my DH would ideally like to wait a few more months so not temping but not using contraception either, but also not letting him know how aware I am of the fertile days.

Ha! We sound so alike :-) I used to do the same thing until I couldn't hold it in any longer! I hid the ovulation predictor from him until last month. He's finally on board ... but probably more for my sake than his own which saddens me. If I start temping this weekend, I'm going to have to sit down and explain it to him as I don't see how you can hide that ... he's pretty geeky so if I'm lucky, he'll be into the whole charting thing or it could go the other way and he'll give me a few 'let's wait' looks and maybe roll his eyes (I'll be crushed if he does). I get the egg white thing too and the predictor helps us get the best 48 hour window. I never really got premenstrual cramps before (maybe once in a blue moon) but for the past few months I have ... don't know if it's because I'm more in tune with what's going on or if it's all in my head ... but I've been spending each 2 week wait hoping, hoping that the cramps are implantation cramps instead. Do you get cramps at all? Ever thought they might be implantation cramps? I wonder how we'd tell the difference?

Can I play? I'm 34, hugely overweight (size 28), and have been TTC number 1 since November. Been lurking on these threads for 'newbies' as everyone else seems so far more experienced...
I had coil removed in November, cycle seems to have kicked back in ok, had bloods checked at work (am a nurse) for hormone levels - and everything seems ok...
Partner is overweight too - and we are working on this together - and all the shagging we are doing is reducing the cost of our chiropractic treatment! LOL...
I too am now more in tune - and this is driving me nuts! Every twinge, cramp, sore boobs, nausea is getting my hopes up - only to get knocked out of me when AF arrives. Currently CD 10 - so DP will get pounced on later - nice imagery I know!!!
But a couple of MN pals to share this with will be great!

Hey Purple G!!! The more the merrier You're right ... so many people seem to be trying for #4. It's great to meet another newbie!!

I just inhaled a bar of Galaxy so don't think I'm doing great on the weight part today

Are you using an OPK? Are you charting? I'm hoping temping will help me not daydream so much at the end of the month. If you're interested in temping I can send you a link to the temping club on MN that I joined yesterday ... they seem like a really good bunch.

How long is your cycle? Is it regular? (Isn't it funny the questions you feel free to ask online that you wouldn't necessarily ask your friends in real life?) Mine is textbook 28 days works like clockwork. I hoped that would help me conceive more quickly but so far ... not.

You are so funny about pouncing on your DP! I'm only on CD4 so I'm going to have to live vicariously through you for a few days yet Good luck with the BD'ing ...

I'm so glad you posted. Let's help get each other through this until we get a BFP each!!!

Hi girls...sorry to barge in here..i'm not TTC but am very overweight. Can i just say...please don't get too stressed about being curvy and voluptuous!!

I was far heavier than you all when i fell pregnant with both my dc's and it doesn't cause me any problems.

I used to get so anxious at the thought of being weighed but my MW and consultant didn't bother. They didn't deem it to be a factor in either of my pregnancies.

So, just wanted to wish you all the very best of luck and let the baby dancing commence!!

Dear Womba - thank you for sharing! I haven't been to the Dr for a TTC check as I've been afraid of a 'lose weight before you even think of trying' lecture.

Anyhow, you are wonderful ... please feel free to barge in anytime .

Thankyou ClairLesley...and believe me, when i barge in anywhere, you know about it!!

I was very lucky in that i pretty much fell pregnant straight away each time, and, when i first saw my doctor about something unrelated, i told him i was pregnant. He said 'congratulations..and i don't think you'll have to worry about giving birth to a tiddler seeing as you are so well nourished'...bless him!!

And i forgot to welcome you to Mumsnet too... so welcome!
Now we have you, you can never leave!!

You're my hero, Womba!! I wanted to ask you how long it took each time ... brilliant!

Also, how cool are you just dropping it casually into conversation with your Dr when you went to see him about something else ... a true role model!!! I want to be just like you

Your equally-well-nourished fan,
Clair

I've learnt to not worry too much about stuff and just go with the flow..not always easy but i'm getting the hang of it now!

If you want to know about anything else or have any other worries, please just ask me...i'd be delighted to help, if i can.

And not only do we share the fact that we're both well nourished...we share the same name too!!

Well, that explains everything!! No wonder I liked you from the moment you typed 'barge'

Here's a question for you:

What's all this about using a pillow immediately after BD'ing (to help DH's little swimmers on their way)?!? I get conflicting info - use one under your hips/use one behind your hips but not under as that will have the opposite effect/don't use a pillow at all.

Probably makes little difference but on the offchance it does, what are your thoughts on aforementioned pillowage??? I wish some of these websites would come with illustrations!!

My bottom has it's own pillowage, so i didn't need any extra cushioning in that department!

However, i've read and heard that you could assist the little blighters by placing a pillow under your bum to tilt your pelvis back. Or, as my best mate swears by (also very well nourished!), she immediately put her legs up against the wall and stayed there for 20 minutes! She also says that draping legs over the back of car seat does the job just as well!!

Oh, and don't go for a wee afterwards...hold on for as long as you can!

Your friend is a genius! What model of car does she have? Maybe I need to trade mine in for one with BabyMaking bucket seats!!! Knowing me, I'd get stuck and would need the fire brigade to come and cut me out

Am also endowed with ample natural pillowage but will definitely the under-bum-for-tilting thingy and the legs up against the wall trick. If any of the above work I promise I will hunt you down Womba1 no matter what MN thread you are on

Hi
all
This sounds like the perfect thread for me.
I am 37 years of age ttc, and overweight, although I am dieting at the moment and have lost a bit.

I am desperate to concieve and feel quite stressed about it atm.
I have just posted on another thread about this but my story is as follows.
I started ttc at the end of August 07 when my AF went awol.
I carried out numerous pregnancy tests and they were all a BFN it was very upsetting and it sent me up the wall my AF was absent for 3 months in total.
It turned out a underactive thyroid was the culprit.
I am now on thyroxine and my cycle has since returned.
Do I count the time of ttc from August or when my cycle returned in December.
I am also confused about my cycle length, on its return I have had a 33 day cycle and a 22 day cycle.
My head is in a muddle as I have heard that if your over 35 and you have been ttc for 6 months you should seek help.

I'm getting really excited for you...and i demand to be kept abreast of all your goings ons!! Well, not all...that would just be slightly stalkerish...but you know what i mean!!

All this talk of baby making is only adding to my broodiness, which has been rather rampant for the last month or so. I guess it's to do with my dd turning 2..she seems so grown up!

My dh doesn't really want anymore children as our finances aren't the best. So, please keep your fingers crossed for us that we win the lotto tonight and then i'll be joining you with the legs up against the wall!

May 2008 be the year for all of us!

Dear Crazedupmom,

I don't know much about underactive thyroids or thyroxine ... but I do understand being desperate and stressed.

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time - although it has to be a very good sign that your period has returned. Maybe your cycle will start to settle now.

Are you temping or using OPKs at all? From reading through some threads, some peope seem to find that they add to the stress ... but I find they give me something to do and I can see signs that the potential is there to conceive which is always heartening.

You probably should speak to your Dr given your medical condition and medication. However, from reading around there seem to be plenty of people who are much younger and fitter than us who wait just as long if not longer. Seems any woman has around a 10-20% chance of conceiving in any month ... so we probably shouldn't beat ourselves up too much. Instead we should start doing everything in our power to increase our chances.

Oh, I should mention this. Out of the blue yesterday a flower delivery driver asked me to take in a bunch of flowers for a neighbour across the street until she got back that evening. When I went over last night, she answered the door with a brand new baby boy in her arms - she said the flowers were a gift from work for her 40th birthday and also mentioned the baby was her first. The woman was easily the same size as me too! I honestly think there is hope everywhere - you just have to read some of these threads to find women announcing their BFPs all over the place. That could be us soon, Crazedupmom

Are you TTC #1?

Oh Womba! Embrace your broodiness

I'm sure your DD is adorable BTW.

Know what you mean about finances. DH is from USA (can't hold that against him) and so we spent the last 4 years in Tennessee ... couldn't bear the thought of being pregnant/having DC so far away from my family so waited to try until we relocated back mid-October. So now he has a job but I'm still unemployed, plus we're renting a home until prices come down ... so I'm not being very responsible financially at the mo. However, Baby Fever is all-consuming.

Maybe we should call this thread The Legs Up The Wall Club?

Hoping furiously your numbers come up!!! Am sending e-jackpot vibes to you right now .... are they there yet?

Hi
ClairLesley

I am not doing any of of the temping or OPKs.
I decided as you say that maybe they just add to the stress. It also worries me that I will never get any positive signs and that will be something else for me to fret about so I have tried to take the attitude if it happens it happens,and if it don't it don't.
I must admit thats very difficult for me though as I really want to be pregnant.

I have heard that ttc with a underactive thyroid can create problems concieving and my doctor did say this also.

Once the thyroxine tablets have stabilised my condition there should not be a problem.
but there is no knowing how long that will take.
I am ttc my 2nd dc and I am desperate for it to happen, like you I keep imagining all manner of pregnancy symptoms only to head for a fall when AF appears.
My AF has just turned up after 22 days only and at first I was thinking could it be a implantation bleed because I wasn't expecting it yet but no its definately just my AF.

Lets hope we get our BFP soon.

Another very lardy lady here and dell pregnant first month of trying with baby number 2, dd did take 6 months bu wasn't organised with ovulation charts. Fat deosn't have to mean unhealthy, good luck with TTC

CrazedUpMom - I'm with Womba ... BFPs all around in 2008 please (and hopefully sooner rather than later).

I only started temping today - just want to check I'm definitely ovulating and also find out when. Even though I've been using an OPK, I've been really clueless on the whole egg white caper and seem to remember experiencing some around 3 days or more before OPK tests positive ... so I suspect I've been cutting my fertile BD'ing short! This probably wouldn't matter for those with a healthy sex drive who BD all the time but seeing as I'd rather cuddle up with a book it's a chore for me at the best of times so I want to make sure I'm being as efficient as possible ... very romantic, huh?

We'll get through this, you'll see. Which day of your cycle are you on now? We can't be too far apart ... I'm on CD4. AF arriving when you don't want it to is crushing I know.

ClairLesley..well, thanks for the vibes but i'm not sure they arrived in time!! There's always next week though..and the week after!

My dh and i are also renting which is a real pain in the bum and i gave up work to look after the children and to be honest, i wouldn't have it any other way. But it does mean that money is incredibly tight and we have to watch every penny. My dh also has two dc's from his previous marriage and is obviously paying maintenance to their mother.
So, in reality, it's highly unlikely that we'll have another baby, but, you never know. I just count my blessings every day for the 2 i have.

Crazedupmom.. i'm sending you lots of warm wishes and hope that your very much wanted child is soon in your arms.

Sophiewd made a brilliant point earlier by saying that fat doesn't mean you're unhealthy. I'm 6ft and weigh just under 19 stone. However, i don't tire easily and can run around with the best of them!
I'd like to lose weight and tone up a bit, just so that i feel confident in myself again, not because i feel unhealthy!

I've never been a stick insect, would never want to be a stick insect and besides my four year old says i give the bestest cuddles because theres more of me to squeeze!!

Morning! Gosh what great advice on here - and what hope! Poor DP - he really is exhausted now... TMI I know - but it's got to the point that pots and syringes may be getting used! Bless him - he puts up with a lot...
Not temping yet CL - maybe wait till next month & then get one then... Missed the boat for this cycle... I'm hoping for a BFP - but if not we shall charting & temping too.
Cycle is 27 days, really hormonal too - not used to it after 10 years with the coil! Oh the joys...
Legs up the wall club sounds fab - and may we all get blessed...