Preparing to TTC in 2023

[DanisEndo]

Hi,

I'm part of a lovely thread which was started in 2021 for those planning to start TTC in 2022 and it was such a supportive group! we've now seen lots of positives and given each other a lot of support and tips through ups and downs.

I'm now 'pausing' TTC until after my wedding in 2023 and thought it'd be nice to start up a similar thread to see if there is anyone else now prepping and getting excited for next year!

On the last thread everyone introduced themself by saying their age, what they're trying for and when they plan on starting - I'll then keep a list up to date and post so everyone can easily see others who are at the same stage as them!

I'll go first:

Age: 27
TTC no: 1
Starting: Sep 23

Between now and then I'm going to be taking folic acid, try and loose some lbs to get closer to a healthy BMI, save some money in a baby pot and enjoy some 'baby free' activities (i.e., wine, gin, sushi and surfing!). I have endometriosis and PCOS so going to try and get my periods more regular and pain management via diet.

It is never too early to take it chapter, it poses no risk to you and in fact if taken for over a year before TTC it can reduce the risk of premature labour. I used to work with neurologists and they were of the opinion that all women of child bearing age whether TTC or not should take it daily as 50% of pregnancies are unplanned and by the time you find out it can be too late to be really effective.

Right, I have updated the list, if I have made a mistake or missed you off please let me know and I will amend. I really hope you don't mind @DanisEndo and I hope that you are keeping well.

Pregnant!
@marleyandme 27, No.1

TTC
@Weefreetiffany No.2
@WanOvaryKenobi 30, No.1
@louloulollipop 31, No.1
@Tophy124 30, No. 2
@Foreverhope82 40, No.1
@Mushroo 31, No.1
@GlosGal 32. No. 1
@Firsttimetrying2022 No. 1
@PeopleAreToads 28, No. 1
@Summer022 25, No. 1
@JRabbitx
@Floralsandsmiles 35
@CRbear 32. No. 1
@Hopefulhoney6 34, No. 1
@AROSE9 25, No. 1
@Ella31
@CGallo95 27, No. 1
@Notyetamother 29, No. 1
@Babydustthisyear 32. No. 1
@madeofcodes No. 1
@SJ2 32, No. 1

January
@Almondbut 31, No.1
@bethhop85 37, No.1
@TrudyProud 36, No.2
@Mummymidwife33 33, No.3

February
@babybrainfart 33, No.3
@winterbabyrose 27, No.2
@LovelyBitOfSquirrelll 33, No.3
@Lilothblos 30, No.1

March
@happyfeet5 No.1
@pmore23 28, No.2
@LongDistanceLife 33, No.3
@Hopingforno2in2023 34, No. 2
@Mumof1hopingfor2nd 32, No. 2

April
@Leopardlover 37, No. 2
@SweetLion 30, No. 1
@WolfMother326 38. No. 2
@kiwifruit1234 34, No. 1
@CatLadyH 31, No. 1

June
@ViewFromTheAfternoon 29, No.1

July
@ShelleyPercy 34, No.1

August
@LibbyL92 30, No.1
@Imjustaherb No.1
@TheUndoing 30, N0. 1

September
@DanisEndo 27, No.1

October
@123ROLO 29, No.1

Unknown
@Newchapter23 32, No. 1
@TRFran 31, No. 2

@Hopingforno2in2023 thank you! Wow, the list is so long now. Good luck to everyone!

Ive started dry January (as has DH) which I’m hoping should help. The Xmas chocolates are definitely still kicking around though!

Hi! Thought I’d join this thread if poss🙈 I’m not necessarily preparing TTC in 2023, I’ve been trying will be 6 month now this month. I’m very healthy, take all the vitamins, use ovulation sticks, use the conceive + lube & fertility cup and have been off contraception over 2 years.. Really not coping with the fact it hasn’t happened yet. Losing my mind a bit so going private for a fertility MOT tomorrow. I’ll look through the rest of the thread to find some more tips with conception now😀 baby dust to you all 💕✨

Thanks for the list @Hopingforno2in2023 . October seems like ages away. Wah!

It keeps crossing my mind to start a bit sooner, but then I manage to talk myself out of it. It wouldn't be bad to be pregnant on my wedding day at all, I just think the perks of hanging on a little while longer are worth it for me, and I'm starting the 'journey' soon by starting on vitamins soon.

I'm also planning on doing a fertility MOT, just incase there are any fixable issues I can address before I start. I am a tad concerned as I briefly had chlamydia when 20 which lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, it was caught soon and I received treatment, but there's a risk of scarring, and I get really painful ovulation pains which apparently is a symptom of scarring? So I'm keen to have those things checked over

Welcome @Ellbell1234 . Sorry it hasn't happened yet, must be frustrating. The MOT is definitely a good shout

Thanks for including me. I'm trying for my rainbow baby. Had a miscarriage in August. Conceived during my honeymoon but lost them at 7 weeks. Didn't start trying again until November. No luck since. So this month will be cycle number 3.

I'm doing ok emotionally but finding the disappointment at the end of each month very hard. Plus people aren't so sympathetic anymore regarding my mc....being bombarded with baby pics on whatsapp and announcements on family groups everyday, was told I was lucky I can get pregnant last week. And tbh all I can do is hold back the tears as I think of how I should be 6 months this week.

Hopefully the new year will bring change.

Thanks @Hopingforno2in2023 sadly I'm 38 not 33

@Newchapter23 it’s been absolutely fine for me, not had any side effects. Apart from taking conception vitamins I’m just going to cut out alcohol/caffeine after honeymoon and stay as active as possible and try and eat as healthily as possible!

@Ella31 sorry to hear about your MC and though time. Sending hugs. This thread and others I’ve read seems to be supportive community. 💕🌈

@Ella31 I’m so sorry to hear about your MC and that others have been insensitive. We had 2 MCs before conceiving our son and - like you - experienced a lot of the “at least you know you can get pregnant” comments.
I hope you get your rainbow soon 🌈 Sending lots of baby dust xx

@Hopingforno2in2023 great advice I will get looking at buying some so I can get started!

@CatLadyH that’s good to hear that you have had not many symptoms coming off! I hope you have a smooth TTC 🤞

@Ella31 I’m so sorry to hear about your MC.

sending lots of positive vibes and baby dust to all you wonderful ladies ❤️

Thanks so much for your kind words @TRFran . I'm so sorry to hear about your two losses, 1 is bad enough but the thought of 2 is heartbreaking. So glad you were successful with your son though.

@Hopingforno2in2023 I am taking the folic acid additionally yeh 😊

@Ella31 sorry for your loss, it must be so difficult. Sending you a virtual hug and hope you get your rainbow very soon 🌈 x

@Ella31 I had a loss in November and its unreal how many people have said the most insensitive things like
well least you got pregnant
it wasn't meant to be
at least it was early
Be grateful younhave a child already
their must of been something wrong with it
It's infuriating we planned to announce our pregnancy at Xmas so it's been a tough couple of weeks hence holding off TTC
I am truly sorry for your loss their is no rhyme nor reason for it I'm praying for you to get your rainbow baby soon ❤️

Hi all,

I’ve not read the full thread but wondered if I could join?

We have 1 DS already who is 16months, my DH’s ideal age gap is 2-3years and my ideal age gap is 2.5-3.5yrs so DH would like to start trying now and I would like to start trying in June.

Our compromise (not really a compromise as we are both happy whatever happens!) is that I get my coil removed as soon as possible and then let my fertility return to normal and see what happens, if no pregnancy by June we will start ‘properly’ trying.

I will probably start tracking ovulation just to get an idea of things but we will just have sex when we feel like it rather than worrying about timing it right initially.

I am breastfeeding DS so expecting that to maybe mean conceiving takes a little longer.

Age: 29

TTC no: 2

Not trying but not preventing: as soon as I get an appointment to remove my coil

Officially trying: June 2023

Can I ask what people's motivation for their chosen age gaps are ?

Probably a bit ahead of ourselves as most of us are still only starting baby #1. But I'm guessing we all think ahead to an extent 😃

Obviously I know its not always as simple as 'choosing' as you don't know what life throws at you, put I'm just curious the reasoning behind the chosen ideal.

My friends thought I was weird for mine.

I want a very small age gap, as in once my first is about 6 months I hope to be able to ttc again. Where as my friends seem to want to wait till they are 2/3 before trying for a second. (If they choose to).

My reason being

Me and my sister only have an 18 month age gap and we played so well together and as the age difference wasn't that significant we could share toys, and all activities and things we did were age / stage appropriate for both of us.

The other reason is more me centered, I know the early years are going to restrict my life in a lot of ways, they will be stressful with nursery pick ups, sleepless nights etc. I'd rather it all done in one quick chunk rather than spread over many years.

There's definitely no right or wrong I'm just curious what people's thought processes are

Congrats @marleyandme !!!! Happy for you!! Wishing you all the luck!

I have a question for you all girls! Anyone who is on #2, how do you deal with all of the unsolicited advice and negativity from people??
We've only just started trying, and already it annoys me how negative and opinionated people can be, I can only imagine how much it will bug me when I have a baby and they think they can tell me how to raise them. Don't get me wrong I'm happy to have help, but I just can't stand thoughtless comments!

@Ella31 regarding my last message, that's even more thoughtless! I think when it comes to loss though people don't know what to say, I'm sure they don't mean it to be hurtful! I'm sure no one does when they're talking about babies etc when no one asked for their input,still sucks all the same. Sorry for your loss. Hugs xxx

Sorry my last message was for @Mumof1hopingfor2nd
I'm not very good with this app yet,do excuse me

@Notyetamother
Yes I think people don't know what to say so things come out wrong its hard to hear when your feeling fragile but I am feeling a bit better now
You do get used to unsolicited advice my son has additional needs and wow the comments I've learned to just say thanks for your opinion but I'm going with this 👌

This app takes a bit getting used too lol x

@123ROLO so my motivation for my ideal age gap (2.5-3.5years) is that they would be close enough to get on well and enjoy the same things but not so close that the early years are really tough. Ideally I would like DS to be pour of nappies before having another but that’s not a deal breaker, I would like to get some decent sleep before having another, I would also not like to get so far out the baby stage that I don’t want to go back. Pregnancy can also sometimes cause milk supply to dip and I wouldn’t want DS to stop breastfeeding much earlier than 2 years old as per WHO recommendations (I know this isn’t feasible for many but after 16 months I would like to try and make it to 2).

I guess it depends on what your baby is like as well, DS still wakes up at least twice a night at 16 months. I have friends with similar aged babies who are already pregnant/nearly due and they have generally had good sleepers from early on. DS is a also very high energy little boy and I genuinely think I wouldn’t manage any smaller than a 2 year gap!

that should say out of nappies no pour of nappies!

Thank for understanding 😂
Yeah I think I'm going to struggle with not people pleasing, but I'm sure my feisty motherly instincts will kick in and I'll do what I think is right not what everyone else does! Good way of putting it though!

@123ROLO we are aiming for 2 yrs gap between DD and DC#2. Mainly because I ended up having a c-section and was advised to wait at least 1yr (ideally 18 months) before TTC again.

@Notyetamother with unsolicited advice (mainly from DM and DMIL) I say thanks, I'll take it on board. Whether I do or not is another matter. Personally I don't care . It might help that I'm mid 36. I've been building my career and met and married DH later ... people have been giving opinions for a while so now I just ignore

@Sallythesloth3 I too exclusively breastfeed (now dd is also on solids ). I hadn't heard about pregnancy causing supply dips. I had heard about boobing potentially causing higher miscarriage rates due to hormones and menstruation causing dips but thankfully my period's returned like clockwork with no change in supply. I'll likely introduce cows milk for daytime feeding when DD starts nursery (plus I return to work) and limit boob to morning and bedtime which should hopefully help. It's a minefield! I'm also on a TTC when breastfeeding thread so reading all those women's comments

@Hopingforno2in2023 @DanisEndo please would you change my TTC date to April. Not starting until dd is 1yo

i had a real wobble this morning! I am emphatically not a morning person and when my alarm went off for work (which I hate anyway), I just thought, I could not deal with having to get another person up and ready for school!

Im a night owl and have designed my life so I can WFH everyday so I normally get up at 8 and that’s a struggle (please don’t judge!).

I know when it comes to it I’ll just get on with it, but it just highlighted the hard work! OTOH, hating getting out of bed (which I’ve always hated) seems a stupid reason not to have a family.

Thanks for the corrections, I will sort them out when I next update the list.

We haven’t really planned the age gap rolo. For years we were one and done (hence the vasectomy) and there is no way we could have had a close age gap as DS has always been such a bad sleeper. It is only in the last year that he has started sleeping through reliably and we can consider a second.

DH has a sister 17mo younger who he fought with horrifically as a child and struggles with a bit as an adult, his brother however who is 8y younger he gets on with really well and he even lives with us at the moment while he sorts out buying his own place! So DH feels more comfortable with a bigger gap.

Financially we couldn’t have afforded two in nursery when DS was little and the big age gap will make it easier to support through university etc. I also really want to be able to give a second DC lots of 1:1 time like I have with DS so DS being in school will make that much easier.

I believe that every age gap has pros and cons and the right one will be different for every family.