Preparing to TTC in 2023

[DanisEndo]

Hi,

I'm part of a lovely thread which was started in 2021 for those planning to start TTC in 2022 and it was such a supportive group! we've now seen lots of positives and given each other a lot of support and tips through ups and downs.

I'm now 'pausing' TTC until after my wedding in 2023 and thought it'd be nice to start up a similar thread to see if there is anyone else now prepping and getting excited for next year!

On the last thread everyone introduced themself by saying their age, what they're trying for and when they plan on starting - I'll then keep a list up to date and post so everyone can easily see others who are at the same stage as them!

I'll go first:

Age: 27
TTC no: 1
Starting: Sep 23

Between now and then I'm going to be taking folic acid, try and loose some lbs to get closer to a healthy BMI, save some money in a baby pot and enjoy some 'baby free' activities (i.e., wine, gin, sushi and surfing!). I have endometriosis and PCOS so going to try and get my periods more regular and pain management via diet.

OK, thank you! 😊 xx

AF just arrived and I was excited as it meant I could input it into my Ovia app 😂

What's everyone's approach to making plans for the new year?

Some friends are trying to organise a weekend away for Feb half term or Easter holidays and trying to decide which works better for potential dates. Thinking less likely to be pregnant in Feb as only a few cycles in, but if we're lucky enough to conceive quickly then we'd be away for the weekend and trying to hide being 8 weeks pregnant.

Or do we just not commit to things, but also want things to look forward to if TTC hasn't gone to plan

I know it's an impossible question really because we can't predict the situation, but interested to know how you're all doing things

We're trying to just make plans as if we're not trying. No way of knowing how long it will take us and I think we can always cancel plans if needed if we do get pregnant quickly. I don't want TTC to be the only thing going on so making a lot of plans to look forward to. That way if in any given cycle we're not pregnant we've got something to look forward to and if we have to cancel it'll be for a happy reason

I will be making plans as usual, there will be very little you can’t actually go through with if pregnant so just plan as usual :) We were on holiday with friends when I was 8 weeks last time and a couple guessed but it wasn’t an issue.

@Firsttimetrying2022 struggling with this as well! Stuff like weddings, hen dos etc I’m just carrying on as normal.

Holidays are trickier as I don’t know how I’ll be feeling. We’ve ruled out anywhere with Zika, but weighing up booking some America trips. I’ve not actually booked anything yet though as im
too indecisive. Also if we get pregnant, we could do with putting the holiday money towards baby stuff!

It's the guessing I'm worried about I think! I have a family history of miscarriages so we're conscious of the risk and I worry this particular group of friends may not be tactful enough not to mention it if they suspect anything

@PeopleAreToads plan as normal. You could conceal an early pregnancy east, I think. I only wouldn’t plan anything for 6 months past the date you plan to start TTC as you won’t know if you’re lucky straight away then you might not be feeling tip top the more pregnant you get.

I might have already asked this but for those of you who are TTC no.1, have you put any thought into how many children you would ideally like in total?

I know it can be so changeable!

@happyfeet5 good question! We’re currently thinking one and done (which kind of means we can be a little more relaxed if it takes ages), but that’s a very loose sentiment.

I would be open to having two maybe, but definitely no more than that!

@happyfeet5 yes we have said one and done as I’m 40 so depending on how long it takes we may not have time for anymore so we’re more than happy with one!

@happyfeet5 we're currently hoping for two - I'm only 27 so we've got some time to figure out if we want more. This would be our first though

Same here @Foreverhope82 , I’m 37 and have PCOS so would be overjoyed with one. Although if it happened, I’d be more than happy to have two little ones!

I can’t afford IVF and my NHS area won’t cover even a single round once you’re over 35 😥So I’m hoping for a miracle baby. It does seem to happen when people least expect it and like @Mushroo said, my cycles have become more regular as I’ve got older (particularly after age 35 in my case).

AF finally appeared yesterday after a gap of eight weeks so this is the last one before TTC in January…!

Wishing us all luck!! ✨

@bethhop85 wow! I’m so shocked at that. 35?! That’s so young to be a cut off. I would understand 40 perhaps but that’s a big shock.

I am always curious what the ‘minimum’ age limit is as we’re not yet 25. Hopefully we won’t need it, but say it is ‘25’ would they seriously give women such a small window from then until 35 to access funded IVF? Seems so crazy and narrow. They seem to make it as hard as possible to be eligible for these sorts of things, all out to cost save. Best of luck and baby dust!

Reading some old threads on here and some people actively avoided TTC in March/April to avoid a Christmas baby! I can’t believe that. Is anyone overly bothered what time of year they’d have their baby? I can think of advantages to all, in fact I actually think around Christmas time would be nice

Hi @happyfeet5 , I’d actually love a Christmas baby! If there was any time I’d prefer to avoid, it would be June/July/August (to avoid being heavily pregnant in the hot weather and to avoid the little one being the very youngest in the school year) but tbh I’d just be thrilled to have a baby whenever it came 😊

Yes, the IVF news was such a horrible shock! I live in Oxfordshire and the NHS here will only pay for one round for women aged 35 or under. There’s nothing at all once you are older than that 😥Even though the NICE guidelines are that women under 40 should receive three rounds for the best chance of success! It’s such a lottery - there are a few areas in the UK where you can have three NHS-funded rounds up to the age of 40. And we all pay into the same system, it just seems so unfair. So I’m praying for a miracle xx

@happyfeet5 I would also not mind a Christmas baby at all. I wouldn’t mind a baby anytime of the year just a baby would be nice at this point 😂

I called drs yesterday as thought after been actively trying for a year, been 40 and 2 miscarriages in that year would see what they say. No surprise can’t get an appointment and have to call back daily till there is free appointments…joke really when as @bethhop85 says we all pay into the same system

I am not fussed about time of year but would prefer not summer due to heat and also balancing a newborn and the summer holidays with DS! Would much prefer to have baby in term time. However as soon as we start TTC we will keep going until we conceive.

Just catching up with everyone! How exciting to see so many people onboard!

@123ROLO I got my coil out a year before we would start trying and spent the time doing similar - research, trying different things to see what works for me, optimizing for me. I found it fun and can’t believe the time has gone so I’m sure your 6 months will fly!

@Almondbut i also hope I’ll be relaxed but I do know myself and I’m worried I’ll get obsessed. I am really really hoping to wait until my period is late to test. I don’t want to be squinting at it, I want to look at the test and know one way or the other. We will see how long that lasts!

@Summer022 and @PeopleAreToads - sounds like we’re all ovulating around the same time- NYE! Wahhhh - can’t believe it. Hope adrenaline can’t delay ovulation hahah. Will cross my fingers for you both. I’ll be abroad for my first ever TWW so hoping to be distracted from thinking about it.

@bethhop85 - I agree with everything @Mushroo said about improving regularity. I’ve tried cutting sugar for short periods, inositol, a whole selection of vitamins etc. over the last year and gone from no periods to a 34 day cycle - so you absolutely can improve things. I highly recommend temping, monitoring cervical fluid and using OPKs even when you’re not ready to TTC so that you get to know your body and will recognise ovulation when you need to.

@PeopleAreToads we have a holiday booked for around Easter but nothing else yet. I’ve never been a massively long term holiday planner so that’s coming into its own!

@happyfeet5 we would love 2-3 but will try to be grateful for what we get as like others have pcos and one might turn out to be a miracle! We also wont be planning for any date - with PCOS we will try at every opportunity we get - the one time we skip to avoid a Christmas/Summer baby could have been “our time”

I finished my period a couple of days ago so am officially in TTC cycle 1! Can’t believe it. Maybe TMI but anyone else found that sex when trying to have a baby is a bit more exciting for some reason?! Well we have! We better enjoy it because it could quickly become a chore by all accounts.

With Christmas on Sunday I’ll be ovulating before I know it … wahhhh!!! It’s really happening!!!

In terms of making plans when TTC, definitely just go ahead as normal. One of my best friends avoided commiting to plans when TTC, she's been trying for 2 years now and the first year was miserable as she didn't have anything else going on in her life (covid didnt help) so she is just is carrying on as normal now as can't put her life on hold.

I'll continue to make plans as normal. Though as I love a drink it will be immediately obvious to my friends/ family if I decline a drink, so if those events fall within the first 12 week window, I'll likely tell people but make it clear I don't want anyone fussing till the 12 week mark.

I am undecided on the number of children I want. I think 2, but I can see a lot of perks of having 1. My friend has 1, and she's not really had to compromise her social life much, its a doddle sorting childcare and that child gets so much fuss and attention, they go on plenty of holidays and do lots of activities. The people I know with 2 or 3 they just always seem flustered, and non of them have been on holiday for years. Both sides are very happy with their lives, but the parent with one seems to have (to me) the preferable life from an outsiders perspective.

Though saying that, when ever I picture family life in the future I always see two children 😂. I think it's very much a battle between head and heart for me.

@CRbear What did you do for contraception the year before coming off the coil ?

I would rather not use condoms, but it's a bit risky doing the tracking / pulling out methods. Once my coil is out I should only be trying to prevent pregnancy for 3 months.

I'm going to start tracking around February/March time to get an idea when I ovulate

@CRbear Sorry that should say year after

Hi @123ROLO - we started off using condoms, but once I was confident with temping we started using that to identify when it was safe to have non protected sex. Because I have PCOS we were cautious and used condoms from day 8 onwards just in case, as I didn’t know exactly when I would ovulate, but after ovulating and until day 8 we didn’t worry. Hope that makes sense

@CRbear thank you so much for taking the time to respond about improving periods. Can I ask how you took your temperature and what time of day? What type of thermometer did you use?

Thanks! xx

@bethhop85 no problem at all! I am absolutely thrilled to be able to share my learnings - if only this stuff was more well known, women would have the knowledge on what to do well in advance of TTC. Let’s face it- if you have been trying for a year and go to the doctors, you’re not then going to want to spend another year trying out vitamins etc are you! The thermometer I use isn’t for sale on Amazon anymore but I just bought the cheapest BBT I could get. I take my temperature when I wake up- and that does massively vary- and before I get out of bed. The varying time does have an impact but I can still see the pattern and identify ovulation.

Hello all can I join?

I'm 38 (almost 39) and have a 16 month old baby. We're planning to start trying for another at some point on 2023, but I can't really decide when. I had a difficult birth and my body just now feels like it's getting back to normal, so I guess I'm nervous, but we really do want another child.

I saw the post about not wanting a Christmas baby, I don't feel this way but my husband is adamant that we cant have a winter baby because he finds winter depressing! I'm fine with a spring or summer baby but don't want to wait too long to start as I do have the feeling I'm getting older and that makes me anxious! Also, our boy is an August baby and he'll be the youngest when he starts school, to me thats a bigger consideration.

As for planning next year, I am trying to be a little conscious with scheduling maternity leave (on a fixed term job so have a narrow window to get any enhanced pay) and also we'll be away for a month in April and I'd rather not be incredibly sick then (I had terrible morning sickness from week 6-10 first pregnancy).

Anyway thanks for letting me jump on the thread. I'm excited but nervous!