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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Prioritise Wedding or pregnancy at 41?

46 replies

Natpat81 · 22/09/2022 09:34

Hi all

Looking for some opinions. I have been TTC for my first baby for over a year with 1 miscarriage in May. I am 41 next month and am getting married in July 2023.
My period has started today which was my last chance to have a baby without worrying before the wedding.

If I conceive next month the due date would be 2 weeks before the wedding. If I conceive the month after the due date would be 2 weeks after the wedding. So my question is, given that I will be 41 next month would you hold off trying to conceive for 2 months to avoid the uncertainty around the wedding?

I don’t need a dream wedding where everything is perfect and amazing, I am quite relaxed and happy with some inconveniences. It is also close by my house so not far to travel. But obviously I wouldn’t want to give birth on the day/be in a lot of pain.

Would you keep trying anyway? Or would one month be better to try than the other if I just skipped one month?

Would like to hear your views. Thanks, and good luck to all of you trying.

OP posts:
UngratefulDead · 22/09/2022 09:58

I had my second at 41 and very much wasn't sure I would be able to. He's 6 months now and the light of my life. I would have moved anything and everything to have him

Don't stop trying...the wedding is one day and although extremely important, isn't the lifetime you will get from a child

Wishing you all the luck in the world. X

Twoshoesnewshoes · 22/09/2022 10:02

Keep trying, definitely
some lovely maternity wedding dresses out there…

BendingSpoons · 22/09/2022 10:03

I would keep TTC.

If you get pregnant in the next 2 months, you'll probably think 'typical!' and then have to make a decision on whether to move the wedding.

If you wait and then have trouble conceiving, I would always look back and regret that missed opportunity. To me that would (potentially) be worse.

georgarina · 22/09/2022 10:06

If I were you and I conceived all I would be thinking is ‘thank God I didn’t skip that month!’

good luck x

Jericha · 22/09/2022 10:14

Absolutely keep TTC

WithIcePlease · 22/09/2022 10:14

TTC

macthekwife · 22/09/2022 10:55

You can't possibly put off TTC at that age. Keep trying.

PrimroseWharf · 22/09/2022 10:56

Keep trying!

GreenManalishi · 22/09/2022 11:00

Keep trying, definitely.

WorthThe · 22/09/2022 11:29

Honestly, I'm surprised this is even a question at 41.
TTC.

Isthisexpected · 22/09/2022 11:31

I can't believe you're even considering this.

Arewethebadguys · 22/09/2022 11:43

TTC! No brainer!

Twizbe · 22/09/2022 11:45

I'd get married now and keep trying.

muchprefersummer · 22/09/2022 11:48

Keep TTC. If you fall pregnant - you can always move the wedding. Better that than miss an opportunity to conceive.

Namenic · 22/09/2022 11:48

Personally I would do a registry office wedding now and postpone party and carry on ttc now. But I wouldn’t delay ttc for wedding.

silentpool · 22/09/2022 11:57

Registry office now and continue TTC.

Original poster
Natpat81 · 22/09/2022 12:02

Thanks so much all for your replies, clearly it’s unanimous that I should keep trying!

It’s been really worrying me what to do but you are all completely right. I now feel so much better in continuing.

Really appreciate you taking the time to reply, and good luck to all.

OP posts:
Puppers · 22/09/2022 12:02

If having a baby is important to you then you can't really afford to mess around at 41. The question is, would you sacrifice the opportunity to have a baby for a wedding day? If no, then crack on with TTC. Ultimately that's the risk you are taking otherwise and nobody here knows your personal risk factors and fertility etc to say how likely it is that delaying for a month or two would be critical.

Surely a wedding can be moved.

declutteringmymind · 22/09/2022 12:03

Keep trying! A child is more of a commitment anyway!

PeterPomegranate · 22/09/2022 12:04

Baby definitely. You never know when the ‘lucky month’ will be.

wishing you all the best.

ConstantNameChangers · 22/09/2022 12:35

At this point you need to be seeking fertility advice and looking at assisted fertility- not fingers crossed each month.

Blue2020 · 22/09/2022 13:40

I would say keep trying. I had friends who didn’t manage to conceive for years, they went down the ivf route, they already booked their wedding for July22, and the ivf ended up in the nov21. They got married while she was 8+ months pregnant and had a little boy 5 weeks later. He arrived 2 weeks after the due date. They looked happy and more than anything just happy to be pregnant. It depends on your preference of course, discuss it with your partner and only you can decide.

Flittingaboutagain · 22/09/2022 15:17

Are you already in the system for assisted fertility? That's what I would be more concerned about.

Original poster
Natpat81 · 22/09/2022 16:15

Thanks yes I’m on the waiting list for a fertility appointment. I got referred in March but was then told there’s a 33 week waiting list. I then fell pregnant but then miscarried but am still on their list so have been told I should get an appointment next month.

I did consider paying privately but my body took a long time to recover from the miscarriage so I’ve only just been able to get the period related blood tests done, so didn’t think it would be worth paying privately yet. I will definitely go down the private route though assuming I’m not eligible for ivf due to the more recent miscarriage.

I had my eggs frozen at 37 so hope to use them if they are better than my current eggs.

OP posts:
blebbleb · 22/09/2022 16:17

Definitely keep TTC!

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