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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Partner wasting fertile days…

42 replies

Mydogteddy · 16/09/2022 13:47

not being in the mood or whatever when its my fertile days.. this has happened a few times now so its months/ cycles wasted.
money on tests, expensive vitamins all wasted, plus not getting any younger
wish we didn’t need a man sometimes
is anyone else partner this way

OP posts:
allgoodthings84 · 16/09/2022 14:40

@Mydogteddy does he often come up with excuses in your fertile week or just one or two days during that week? Or do you mean some months you don’t dtd at all as he’s not in the mood etc the whole time?

if it’s the latter I would sit down and have a chat with him about how much he wants this. I don’t mean it in a blunt way but if you’re missing whole cycles and he’s not bothered it would make me question it

Blue2020 · 16/09/2022 15:03

It does only take 1-2 attempts in the fertile window, it’s not required to dtd every day. In that 5-6 day window are you managing to dtd at all?

If no then just echoing the pp and try to find out if your partner wants this or if it’s the pressure or something. If you managed to do it once or twice then it’s not wasted and you have a chance that cycle.

Original poster
Mydogteddy · 16/09/2022 16:06

No thats what i mean its not happening at all in my fertile window last month and now this month too

OP posts:
MozzarellaMonster · 16/09/2022 16:24

Have you spoken to him about it, what does he say?

GoodbyeErinsborough · 16/09/2022 16:32

Could it be the pressure of it being your fertile days?

I know you are trying for a baby but maybe to make it about the two of you rather than the focus on getting pregnant.

Original poster
Mydogteddy · 16/09/2022 16:44

I have spoke last month when it happened and he said i have to remind him its fertile days (he had forgot so been masturbating and said he didn’t think he had any left) so i did remind him this month and still nothing… he just rolls the other way and goes asleep

*sorry if tmi

OP posts:
bellsbuss · 16/09/2022 16:55

When we were trying I never told DH when I was fertile as I knew it would spoil the mood for him. Don't tell him just jump on him

unsure144 · 16/09/2022 16:56

I don't mean this in a rude way, but does he definitely want a baby? Or is this an excuse for him?

Aquamarine1029 · 16/09/2022 16:57

I don't think this man wants a baby. His actions are speaking very loudly.

PinkButtercups · 16/09/2022 16:59

He thought he 'had nothing left'? Well that's weird and it seems like he's avoiding you on purpose.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 16/09/2022 17:02

Either he's not really up for a baby or he's nervous of it not happening and putting it off because, well if you don't dtd then that's the reason you're not pregnant whereas if you do and you don't get pregnant, he has to face the fact that there might be something wrong...??

STARCATCHER22 · 16/09/2022 17:06

If he’s masturbating, does that mean you’re only interested in having sex with him on your fertile days?

It doesn’t sound like he’s that bothered about having a baby

Holly60 · 16/09/2022 17:07

It's probably terrible advice but I'd tell him your fertile window is a week earlier than it is. Then just be really in the mood when it actually is your fertile window but don't tell him.

Maybe he is subconsciously avoiding it as he is nervous about having a baby.

Soubriquet · 16/09/2022 17:09

He doesn’t want a baby

RainbowsMoonbeams · 16/09/2022 17:10

Either he doesn’t want a baby, or he is finding TTC a chore.

NerrSnerr · 16/09/2022 17:20

Are you having sex the rest of the month or is it just wanting to in the fertile window? Are you 100% sure he wants a baby?

Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 16/09/2022 17:21

Performance anxiety?
I have heard from male friends that TTC became such that they couldn't even get erect at times.

Sux2buthen · 16/09/2022 17:22

Holly60 · 16/09/2022 17:07

It's probably terrible advice but I'd tell him your fertile window is a week earlier than it is. Then just be really in the mood when it actually is your fertile window but don't tell him.

Maybe he is subconsciously avoiding it as he is nervous about having a baby.

Then tricking him to have one would be disgusting 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ilikecheeseontoast · 16/09/2022 17:23

bellsbuss · 16/09/2022 16:55

When we were trying I never told DH when I was fertile as I knew it would spoil the mood for him. Don't tell him just jump on him

This!

Lilithslove · 16/09/2022 17:25

How often do you have sex normally? I think I'd feel a bit odd if my partner was insistent that we did it when I'm fertile but then uninterested at other times. Could it be that he's feeling like he's being treated like a sperm donor?

frogswimming · 16/09/2022 17:48

I would agree that it sounds like he either doesn't want a baby or is finding the pressure of having sex on fertile days off putting.

Mischance · 16/09/2022 17:58

Do not trick him.

You need a serious discussion about whether he really wants to start a family. If he doesn't, you need to know; if he does you need to just concentrate on your relationship and stop all the "money on tests, expensive vitamins" - just engage in merry bonking! All these measurements and planning are a mega turn-off.

Original poster
Mydogteddy · 16/09/2022 18:33

Yes he we do have it other times in the month so that’s not a problem
i feel like if i left it to chance it may never happen as im 37 which is why im tracking my fertile days…

OP posts:
LifeExperience · 16/09/2022 18:38

Don't have a baby with a man who doesn't want one.

Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 16/09/2022 18:47

You need to talk to him.

If you can't be open and create a dialog with this man should you be having a baby with him?

There are a lot harder conversations on the way.

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