Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Bus 9 - Donkey Cart departing soon, all aboard with ivf, pcos, endo, sub/unexplained fertility jump on

993 replies

Marvellouslymadmum · 25/07/2022 17:38

New thread 😊😊

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Marvellouslymadmum · 04/10/2022 08:39

@becarefuloutthere lovely to hear from you, how are you doing? Not yet but I'm still waiting for my follow up call after the clomid with the consultant and my gp suggested a lap to her so I'm hoping to push for one when I speak to her!

@thislittlebird I've even considered trying the long syringe & yoghurt pot thing! I mean you never know, it's worked for some people 😂
Little goals are definitely good for keeping you calm. How are you feeling? Bleeding isn't always a bad sign but it's so worrying when it's happening because you always think the worst! Hoping for you and sending hugs 🤗
I keep getting repeated uti's and thrush at the moment so wondering if I have a similar imbalance somewhere too.

OP posts:
thislittlebird · 04/10/2022 12:59

@CycleGirl20 I was so upset about it yesterday, it felt particularly insulting when they wouldn't help me the very day I asked for help and then claimed I'd had "consultant led care".

@Marvellouslymadmum I'm ok, the light bleeding seemed to go back to mostly spotting. I'm waiting for a call from the EPU, supposed to be within 24 hours but I bet it isn't. Apparently hormonal bleeding is more common in IVF pregnancy, so I really hope it's that. I have 2 weeks 2 days until the scan at Guys but it feels like a lifetime away.

The microbiome test I had with Fertilysis is not cheap, it was about £700, but I guess it was worth it for the plan they give you. They send an email with your results and say which bacteria you have too much/too little of, and they give you instructions on what meds you need. You can then take that to your GP for the antibiotics and buy decent probiotics to use simultaneously. I didn't follow the full plan because I was due for a transfer, so I took some antibiotics I already had at home and bought bio.me Femme V and now take one daily. It showed I had too much gardnerella and someone on the EMMA/ALICE/ERA thread said that's basically BV so I started using Balance Activ for BV and canesflora vaginal probiotics intermittently, as well as the oral probiotics. It all seems to have settled a bit now, but that thread was helpful for me.

CycleGirl20 · 04/10/2022 15:34

@thislittlebird was it just the one test you took that was lighter than you expected? Did they test your hcg? I took a clear blue weeks test when I was about 5-6 weeks and it said "1-2 weeks", so naturally assumed the worst. I got my hcg tested at my clinic (was already booked in, the clear blue was to give me some foresight into how my appointment might go) later the same day and I was well in the 2-3 weeks boundary. I found my tests were darker in the evening than in the morning. As you can tell, I got a bit obsessive. I even tried to double dip a frer that was too light for my liking. Turns out they don't work when you do that.

Bleeding can also be due to knocking your cervix from something like sex, but I imagine you could do it through excersise too. The blood flow increases down there and it's quite easy to cause a bleed. That's what I think I did.

Marvellouslymadmum · 04/10/2022 15:56

@thislittlebird very glad you're doing ok, two weeks isn't too long to wait for your scan, one day at a time.
Thank you, it may very well be worth me looking into it all, I've had four lots of antibiotics so far and got some swabs and another in rite test Thursday so I'll see what they say and go from there I think!

OP posts:
thislittlebird · 04/10/2022 19:14

@CycleGirl20 no one checked anything. I’ve avoided testing because I’m scared to see it fading, which I think is what will happen.

@Marvellouslymadmum i spoke too soon. I just had a small clot when I went to the toilet, and cramping. I think it’s probably over tbh.

OrangeBengal · 04/10/2022 22:26

Oh @thislittlebird, I’m so sorry.

thislittlebird · 04/10/2022 22:57

Thanks @OrangeBengal, I’ll see what happens by the morning but it’s not feeling reassuring.

CycleGirl20 · 05/10/2022 08:16

@thislittlebird hoping things go well for you this morning

Alexis7890 · 05/10/2022 09:19

@thislittlebird sending you so many good luck wishes!!

Sunbird24 · 05/10/2022 10:57

Thinking of you @thislittlebird

thislittlebird · 05/10/2022 12:37

Had a scan at the EPU. It’s not looking good, they can’t see anything in there. Will give me HCG results later, my expectations are low to say the least, I have no symptoms now.

I guess I’ll keep my appointment with the Lister after all.

OrangeBengal · 05/10/2022 13:20

Oh @thislittlebird that really sucks, sorry. At least with the Lister you should be listened to more and be able to have more tests as standard.

CycleGirl20 · 05/10/2022 13:48

Really sorry to hear that @thislittlebird. That really sucks. I'm not sure what a scan would look like at, are you 5 weeks? I'm hoping for your HCG results to be ok and at least you have a next step in place.

thislittlebird · 05/10/2022 19:02

@OrangeBengal @CycleGirl20 thanks.

Yeah, 5 weeks 1 day. They said they should be able to see the sac and if it was natural there'd be room for doubt but not with IVF because they know the age of the embryo.

I'm tired. I don't even want to go through any more ivf, i don't have the energy for this, I'm 40 in a few months, this is not how I wanted to spend half of my 30s and beyond. I don't want to regret not giving it a good shot, but I won't pretend I'm enthusiastic. Part of me is tempted to walk away entirely.

Misty84 · 05/10/2022 19:22

I’m sorry that what should be such an amazing time for you has turned so horribly stressful @thislittlebird. This is such a cruel process. It makes me wonder how many knocks can a person possibly take?! It shouldn’t have to be this hard 😣 Are they/you absolutely certain that it’s over? I can understand you wanting to give up and I wish I could advise you to take a break but of course that’s impossible as an option with bloody age. I feel like you had barely any time to be happy before it all started unravelling, I’m so sorry.
How can others possibly have it so easy…

In my news, as I’ve said previously our IVF debacle is over, £18000 down the drain, so it’s natural or nothing now. But my partner has not wanted to have sex since our final Lister consultation over a month ago which was so damning against him. So 2 fertile windows wasted where we haven’t even tried…I’m so upset. Time is also firmly against me and with a shitty egg reserve. I’m trying not to pressure him but I cracked a few nights ago while in bed and he explained that the consultation hit home and he’s sad and it’s all a mental thing, nothing to do with me. Which I knew anyway…but I can just feel the very very slim chance we have slipping through our fingers like sand.

Met up with a couple of friends (in their late 20s) who asked me how things were going and after I cried they firstly said How about adoption?, and after my spiel about that they said I will have to find a new purpose in life. What on earth can compare to having a family though??? I have no idea. My partner and I are lost.

OrangeBengal · 05/10/2022 20:18

I’m feeling the same way re carrying on @thislittlebird, I haven’t really been able to do anything this afternoon other than watching episodes of Buffy. I’ve spent the evening with my head on my husband’s lap for comfort. There are a lot of drugs in my next plan, which I don’t feel comfortable with, plus I’m doubtful that they’ll work and concerned that they’ll cause more harm than good as a new fibroid was spotted last scan after having open surgery to remove 11 in May 2021.

@Misty84 I’m sorry that timings and emotions aren’t working out at the moment. Will he speak to someone? I really think you both doing acupuncture could help you naturally, plus you get the talking time, but I know you said he wasn’t keen previously. The other option is the a home IUI, but maybe that would cause other problems.

thislittlebird · 06/10/2022 10:12

@OrangeBengal I get it, how many attempts in are you now? The thought of doing another EC makes me feel like shit. Watching buffy and laying in your dh's lap feels like a good plan. What's your next protocol, is it a new clinic? I also hate all the drugs. I worry about what we're doing to ourselves. Doing it once + transfers is one thing, doing all the drugs three times feels like a lot to deal with. I'm sorry you've got a new fibroid, have you been on high doses before? Mine have been low and I'm going to stress again to them I'm not comfortable with high doses. I think I'm going to turn down a job offer too. Going through all this again in a new role isn't sitting right with me, I don't want to give up the supportive manager I have and the mostly wfh role. Other jobs will come up, but right now I feel like work is work and my priority is getting through the ivf and not losing my sanity.

@Misty84 I think I got two days out of it last weekend that weren't stressful, it's such a headfuck. Even then I was never confident in those tests that were light for that point in the process. My husband said something over the weekend about 'the baby' and needing to take time off next year. One day later the dream of 'the baby' is dead. It's so hard to do this, I resent those people who have it easy so much. A lady who had miscarried at 8 weeks hugged me when she saw me leaving the EPU in tears, it's so shit. Like you said, how can we stop and take a break? I don't want to still be doing this in a few years. I need to spend the next 6 months to 18 months on this and be done with it. Surely being childless and enjoying our life is more fun than this? I dunno, it all fucking sucks.

I think it's over, yeah. I stopped having the symptoms from around the the bleeding began on Monday. I got my beta results. My HCG was 84, so they're retesting me on Friday but we're all assuming it's going down, not up. My bleeding is more like a period now, just a bit lighter, just waiting for the nod to stop taking the meds tomorrow.

My progesterone was only 30. That's on 3 x 400mg cyclogest per day, that's not a lot if you ask me, it was only 54 after transfer. When I did letrozole + cyclogest (lower dose) cycles and had two follicles popping out eggs I had progesterone of 110. I'l think on this more this weekend, but essentially I'm going to ask for prednisolone in my transfer protocol, because I think that's what might have helped me conceive briefly, and also Letrozole plus a trigger for frozen cycles. I don't want to do medicated transfers because of the oestrogen and my migraines so this should hopefully be a way around that.

I know it's not much consolation for you but natural is possible for you, even if it's not easy to achieve. It doesn't help I'm sure, because it's not a guarantee, just a hope it'll all work, it's a little bit of hope but sometimes hope makes it all worse. I'm sorry you and your partner are going through all this, it's so horrible. Did you look into Chinese medicine at all? I think you mentioned it. I know how you feel about the time slipping, I said to my husband we'd 'try' after this cycle and he's fine with it but it's next to pointless for us. Between him and me this isn't happening naturally, I just know it won't work.

I'm not sure telling you to 'find a purpose in life' is helpful tbh. Like you said, there's nothing to replace having a family. I wish it was that simple. We're there with you, it's hard to know what you'll do without the plan you'd had for your life.

OrangeBengal · 06/10/2022 11:22

This will be my 5th cycle, including one that was cancelled at the last min @thislittlebird. Only one EC though, but for the cycle that was cancelled I was stimulated like an EC. This time they want me on 2mg of oestrogen 2, then 3 times a day, 100mg of prontogest in the mornings, 400mg of cyclogest in the evenings, then prednisolone, clexane and aspirin, started just prior to transfer. From what I see they only really have the data to justify the prednisolone and some oestrogen and progesterone support, though not specifically prontogest. I think my original consultant may have left too, so I’m feeling a little adrift at my clinic.

For you, in time you may be able to see something positive from this round, but equally you may not, and either feeling will be fine. If I was you and I decided to go again I would do PGS testing, insist on more progesterone, injections as well as pessaries, and yes the prednisolone too. Not sure about any other medications your on.

Work-wise you should be able to receive the same level of care and understanding via a new manager. Is it worth just putting all your cards on the table and seeing what they say, then if it’s no good, then you walk away?

thislittlebird · 06/10/2022 11:32

@OrangeBengal yeah it sounds like they’re throwing everything at you in the hope it sticks. Have you got a history of low progesterone? I do, I wish I knew why, and I know they’ll bump mine up because the Cyclogest isn’t cutting it lately. Why clexane AND aspirin, so you know? Is this a new doctor for you? It’s hard. I didn’t know how I felt about the last consultant I had at the private clinic, I’ve taken a gamble and requested another doc this time to see what he’s like.

I don’t want to risk PGS when we don’t get many embryos, sadly. If we got a few more I would, but for three? I might end up with none so I’ll judge that nearer the time. I took low dose aspirin for the last cycle and this one. I took low dose pred for this one, and I do believe that’s what made the difference. Progesterone and my immune system are my main issues. I did also take antibiotics before the transfer cycle, that could have helped a bit too.

I really don’t believe I would tbh. It’s me and a new manager I’ve never met/isn’t employed yet setting up a new team. More responsibility, more time in the office and I’ve pushed it already to ask why they do more than other teams and they just do…it’s not want I want right now. Work is work, and peace of mind is my priority right now. I don’t want to tell this to the guy I’ve been dealing with about it all really.

OrangeBengal · 06/10/2022 11:46

@thislittlebird Technically I’m now ‘looked after’ by the medical director, but he doesn’t do any of the hands-on stuff, so the relationship isn’t the same. Re low progesterone it looks like there’s something there, which they only realised in cycle 3 (the cancelled one), but my levels seem to be what they need to be on low support after I ovulate (one injection no pessaries), but if I don’t ovulate it seems like I need a bucket load. The clexane and aspirin are just in case I think, both apparently help with blood flow to the uterus.

I have 2 embryos left and then I think I’m done with the clinic, maybe done with IVF too, but I don’t know yet.

Re work, if it’s going to cause more stress, then yes, it’s not worth it.

thislittlebird · 06/10/2022 15:36

@OrangeBengal can you go back to having a consultant to deal with more one on one?

I suppose extra blood flow to the uterus can only be a good thing.

It’s so hard to say. I feel like two more whole rounds will finish me off, but I’ll pay them for two because it’s cheaper that way.

Yeah, I wouldn’t mind if they were more flexible but they aren’t, they’re more rigid than every other department for some unexplained reason and it will be all very new during the private ivf. Feels like I’d rather stay put where I am and worry about work another time.

OrangeBengal · 06/10/2022 17:24

Hopefully @thislittlebird . I’ve just been told officially that my consultant has left, so I was right, I’ve requested a specific new consultant, so we’ll see what they say.

Re blood flow, yes for the aspirin, but I don’t think I want to take the clexane if there’s no proof that I need it in case it affects the fibroid.

Makes sense to pay for two rounds if it’s cheaper that way, but yes that’s beyond what I could manage.

Annoying re work, it’s not on.

becarefuloutthere · 06/10/2022 17:58

@thislittlebird I'm so sorry to read your updates. I hope you're ok xx

thislittlebird · 07/10/2022 15:37

@OrangeBengal hopefully you get the one you want.

That's the worry isn't it. I've had one small fibroid throughout and luckily nothing has changed in the process.

Thanks @becarefuloutthere, it's not much fun, just waiting on blood test results to confirm to stop meds.

kerrym87 · 09/10/2022 09:29

@thislittlebird thinking of you

For others...I've only ever had consultant led care at my nhs trust who are brilliant but admin and nurses not as good.

I'm just so sick of this train but can't get off, really struggling to be positive at all at least enough to just live in the moment day by day to get through and appreciate the little things. Currently still suffering awful post covid digestive problems 3 months on so totally fed up and next cycle not til Jan.

Mil issues keep cropping up as well so going to have to have a blunt conversation about not being thoughtless arse.

Swipe left for the next trending thread