Bus 9 - Donkey Cart departing soon, all aboard with ivf, pcos, endo, sub/unexplained fertility jump on

[Marvellouslymadmum]

New thread 😊😊

Nice @thislittlebird, I’m glad you’ve found something :)

@thislittlebird appointment was okay, got another one on Thursday. There’s a follicle with potential but had trainee doctor today, it was only 14mm so they want to check again Thursday before deciding if they think letrozole has had any success or time to move on. He said I looked very nonplussed….I just said I can’t get excited or get my hopes up only to have them crushed so safer for me to stay outwardly calm….inwardly is another matter brain going into overdrive of what ifs. I don’t have expectations of it working though. Then started panicking I’d said the wrong thing 🤦🏼‍♀️ have you got some good distractions to get to test day? We haven’t been to Carbis bay before, the hotel looked nice so I booked it, we’re near Bristol so it isn’t too far to drive 😊

@OrangeBengal @Misty84 i have tried acupuncture once for headaches and a locked neck, I’m not sure I liked the feeling of the needles but it’s maybe more calming for fertility? For my neck they really were quite sore!

I think if you can afford acupuncture then it’s worth giving it a go, certainly wont do any harm! I was quite tense while the needles went in but then I would fall asleep so I think it was an opportunity to relax more than anything else!

@thislittlebird One more day until test day!

@Alexis7890 Think we can all emphasise with not wanting to get our hopes up, it’s such an internal struggle to manage expectations.

Even when I actually managed to get pregnant (god knows how when the Lister couldn’t even get one embryo past day 3) I wasn’t secure about it lasting, and guess what, it didnt!
I wake up every morning feeling so sad and resigned, just lying there thinking about everything. It’s better once I get to work and am distracted.
Ive been doing group CBT sessions (through the NHS) which have just come to an end and the therapist has reached out to me personally because apparently I’m still scoring above a 9 on the questionnaires so he’s offered me a 1:1 session. Very very nice of him but god I feel like such a lost cause! I said to my partner yesterday “Unless someone can bring my sister back from the dead and give me a baby then I don’t see how they can help.” That’s the bleak truth of it sadly.

Oh @Misty84 it definitely seems like you need to give yourself time to process. Infertility by itself is all encompassing, so I can’t imagining how you’re feeling with your sister’s death on top of that. I think you should be super impressed with how well you’re coping. And if talking is helping, keep doing it for as long as you need

@Misty84 yeah, annoying though because I have to go into the office that day. I’m vaguely not wanting to stop being pupo, hate it when this part ends. Sort of want it to continue vs losing my mind at the thought of testing.

Acupuncture was definitely relaxing for me and not painful.

It must be really hard going through all that and coming to terms with the situation, I know I would more than struggle, you’re doing the right things. For you it’s a dual trauma and I think doing the CBT is good, it’s an outlet, but like you say it won’t solve your problems and remove the trauma. Try to be super kind to yourself because you’re grieving and it’s an incredibly hard thing to go through.

@Alexis7890 yeah it’s impossible to keep doing this and remain optimistic. It hurts too much each time it fails. When I started ivf it felt like we had a chance and now it feels more like a distant hope.

Bristol is quite a not a bar drive, that’s the only issue for us, it takes a long time to get down there.

I’m trying to work and struggling to focus tbh.

Thank you @OrangeBengal and @thislittlebird for your kind words. I shouldn’t write in the morning, it’s when I’m at my lowest!🤦‍♀️

I won’t post pics, I know lots of you are having a hard time at the mo. But I got my first ever second line tonight. It wasn’t dark, so I’ll see what the morning brings, but I’m a little shocked. I’ll be 11dp5dt tomorrow, my OTD. It’s very much day by day, I started spotting again tonight.

Congratulations @thislittlebird!! Amazing and terrifying isn’t it?! My line started as an absolute squinter and gradually darkened over a few days. Embrace the happiness, the POSITIVE appointments that don’t make you feel like shit, the groups where everyone’s only moan is their morning sickness! It’s a completely different world, and so precious given how long it’s taken to get there. I hope it all works out for you 💐

@Misty84 yeah, I just feel a bit like a rabbit in the headlights. I don’t even know what happens now, and my tests are still quite faint and I’m 16dpo/11dp5dt. Some people online say there’s were always faint, some say they had a chemical with that result, some say FET embryos can be late implanters etc. I dunno what to make of it all, just need to take it one day at a time and hope it lasts. I told the clinic early this morning.

Thanks, I hope so. How long did you take before you started engaging in ~that~ other world? I feel like I’ll give it a week or two at least before I dive in.

@thislittlebird Totally normal to not have a clue what happens now! I thought I would have to call my GP but actually it’s a self referral form to maternity at your local hospital. They do everything for you. I did it the day after I got a clear line- I was a right keeno!

I did join a “Due in July 2022” MN group, although I felt like a bit of an imposter! Most of them had very easy paths…
It was just so strange to finally be on the other side!!! Amazing though xx

@Misty84 proper keen lol! I’ll probably hang tight for a bit, my light tests and anxiety are not going to get me carried away any time soon 🙃.

Yeah I do think I’ll struggle to feel like I fit in with normal fertile people on those threads. I’ve seen ivf success ones around, that might be more my cup of tea.

I’ll see how this whole situation goes for a few days!

@thislittlebird congratulations 🥳 I've been quietly lurking and how wonderful to see your update! I have everything crossed for you! 🤞🏾 I was on an ivf pregnancy thread, that should help ease you into it all.

Hi everyone! So sorry I've been missing, I had to do a reset I think after finishing the clomid (6 cycles that took 11 months!) my body seems to have reset and I was waiting for my follow up call on Monday for my mind to do the same but it was cancelled and has been rescheduled for the end of October 🙄 I'm still looking for somewhere to move too, got big birthdays coming up for the teens and new colleges started etc. do all go here.

Hi to all new people, I haven't read back through everything but glimpsed over the last week and OMG @thislittlebird I just cried happy tears for you!! It's about time one of us graduated from this thread! Your first every bfp im so so happy for you and nervous at the same time! Honestly everything crossed 🤞🏻

I am giving myself until my 44th birthday (end of March) for my body to fully recover, try and convince the consultant to send me for a lap and loose the weight I want to get rid of (3 stone) before booking myself in for ivf abroad with possible 1 round either my eggs or fuel cycles then on to de so starting to look into clinics etc now

Hope everyone's doing well xx

Whispering congratulations @thislittlebird.

Sorry to hear others are still having a hard time.

we have booked our IVF appt for around a months time so have to have all our tests redone in the mean time. I’ve come to a point where I can’t go on any longer. It’s been 18 months of trying naturally, I have a 6 and 3 year old with no issues conceiving but it’s taking over my life. IVF is the last shot so I feel we need to move forward with it now. Not looking forward to the emotional rollercoaster but hoping it may provide some insight into what could actually be wrong

@thislittlebird quiet congratulations! I've been wishing you look quietly in the background. With regards to moving over to the pregnancy threads, make sure you pay attention to how being on those sits with you mentally. There's a lot of people on there who've either had an easy ride or who are worrying about pregnancy complications. After infertility & IVF I found both made me needlessly anxious.

Funny you should say that @CycleGirl20, I came off all of them! So I totally agree.

@Marvellouslymadmum @becarefuloutthere @CycleGirl20 @Hoping43 thanks for the gentle and whispered congrats, it is very whispered right now, just out the other side of a 24 hour migraine like I would normally get with AF. Not sure what that means for me, hopefully still positive tests when I try again at the weekend.

@Marvellouslymadmum that’s one epic clomid journey! Sounds chaotic in the mmm house! Thanks again for the nice words, we’ve both been hanging out here an unreasonable amount of time. Hopefully I can alight here from the cart but time will tell 🫠. On the plus side, whatever happens, we’ve learned I can achieve implantation which had never happened before.

Probably good you’re going into it with your eyes open to DE. My friend was 41 maybe when she had DE twins, all very fast because she went straight to DE.

@Hoping43 good luck with your ivf appointment, it’s certainly a rollercoaster.

@CycleGirl20 yeah definitely, honestly I don’t think I could do it and see why @Misty84 exited. It’s a different world. I put my head into one for a minute a day ago and it was just…no, not for me. People with multiple kids, people very blasé about it all and planning ahead. It’s a different world from post-infertility pregnancies. If I join anything it’ll be the post IVF threads. Will probably wait until I feel more comfortable, I’m only 12dp5dt, it’s a lot to take in.

@thislittlebird thank you.

does anyone who has been through IVF know if I see my consultant end Oct and then my next period is due around 23rd Nov, am I likely to be able to start my IVF cycle or will xmas likely get in the way?! Really don’t want to wait until end Jan 😭

@Hoping43 that happened to me last year. It depends on the clinic, but I got scheduled for January start. Ask them when they close over Christmas, they won’t do that much in December in my experience.

@thislittlebird I'm literally holding my breath for you! But like you say this is a step further than ever before so no matter what it's a step in the right direction! I think at my age now I have to be realistic, I've not got pregnant in 4.5 years so I think if I give it one go with my eggs at least I'll know I've tried! How are you doing today?

@Marvellouslymadmum thanks 😬. It just feels like such a long way to go and I can’t imagine getting through it right now, but we shall see.

This is my FRER today (link not image upload so I don’t force a positive test on anyone here) and I think it’s reassured me a little. imgur.com/a/4VtpQb4

One go with your own is fair, you’re going in to it all being realistic. A couple of ladies on another thread I’m on are venturing into DE right now.

@thislittlebird that's a solid line! It's darker than mine was at 9dp5dt and they tested my hcg at the same time and it was a strong result, which is always positive. That's not a faint line! Congratulations again

@CycleGirl20 I hope it’s good 😬 I’m a bit further on than that though, I’m 13dp5dt so I was worried it should be darker by now. Also on that same link are my clear blue tests and there’s definitely some improvement in the line from 11 to 13dpt.

I don’t know if I’m pleased my hospital does zero tests or not. They’re keen to send me invoices I didn’t expect so probably for the best they aren’t sending me more for bloods!

@thislittlebird yours looks a few days darker than mine was. Yours isn't a wispy little line. At that point you're going to have a high enough hcg and that's a strong indicator. I expect you're going to have 8 more months of these worries 😅🤞.