Secondary Infertility

[Hoping43]

Hi Everyone

Thought I would set up a thread for those of us going through secondary infertility and it would be great if anyone wants to join me.

a bit about me…. We have been TTC our third baby for 14 months now and been through all relevant fertility testing and so far it’s unexplained. We are trying naturally until the autumn before discussing other options such as IVF

@Hoping43 that sounds very like what I've been told too. I asked about it but they say I'm ovulating and don't need it. I was on clomid for 6 months. Did the progesterone pessaries too.

Yes this happened to me. Started TTC when I was 37, nothing happened for a year, which was unexpected as I hadn’t had trouble conceiving in the past. I got fertility testing and there was nothing up. But then DH did (after a lot of nagging) and it turned out that DH has a very low sperm count - under 2million. He’s older than me (he was 44 then) and the doctor didn’t know if it was age as there were no lifestyle factors (he relatively fit, he’s not overweight, doesn’t smoke, etc etc).

We talked about ICSI but ultimately decided not to, mostly because three rounds of expensive London ICSI really added up - and what if it didn’t work after three? When would we stop? And also because of the huge physical toll having repeated ICSI would have on my body. It was a hard choice and I still don’t know if it was the right one.

There’s still a small hope alive in me that we’ll naturally conceive, which is crazy as I’m almost 42 now and I know how unlikely it would be even if DH had a good sperm count.

Secondary infertility doesn’t get talked about much, but it’s terribly sad and it has taken its toll on my marriage in a way I hadn’t expected.

Good luck everyone. I hope you have positive outcomes.

@Doremifasol

Have you had follicle tracking ultrasounds? I did that a few times before I lost my second tube - tracking ovulation had definitely happened?

Ah ok I see. Howcome they agreed to clomid? I’m so fed up today. I just want to get an appt and start it on my July cycle but because I can’t get my medical records it’s going to delay it until September. I’ll be 36 at Xmas and September will be our 18th cycle TTC our third. Just feel like I’m wasting time and the situation only gets worse with age x

Every test possible including genetics test on 11 week fetus which has came back all all normal. Essentially was told it was healthy baby but due to cervical insuficiency I lost my baby.
I had HyCoSy done a month ago, all good. Will have hysteriscopy done next month.
My worry is that post c section and 2 D&Cs for miscarriages have left scarring tissue. I just feel like there is a problem with 'transport' of eggs to my uterus, but that's my theory, helps me to explain unexplained...

Yes I had one scan which showed one great sized follicle. My left ovary undortnately could't be seen on the scan which is not unusual for me, as left ovary is often hiding😅

@Doremifasol

My ectopics were caused by scar tissue from my c section unfortunately I think it's a risk that's massively downplayed when having an elective c section - I was infertile with no tubes within 2 years of my c section

@couldishouldigoforit did you have a HSG prior to your ectopics? Did you know you had a scarring issue? Xx

@Doremifasol I had the HyCoSy last September, all good, I had surgery to remove a cyst in my cervix in July and had a hysteroscopy and D&C at the same time. General anaesthetic for the surgery obviously and nothing for the HyCoSy and it was fine, just so you know. But still nothing. I had an emcs with ds and I have the same worried as you re scar tissue...the only thing is since the surgery my periods have gotten more painful. No idea why.

@Doremifasol just re read your post, you've had the HyCoSy, they hysteroscopy was fine too. But my periods have definitely become heavier and more painful since.

@Hoping43 I really don't know why she gave me the clomid but not letrozole... although I'm pretty confident my GP would give it to me if I asked her. Maybe I should...

@littlesnowdropfairy i wasn’t going to try it, I was going to go straight for IVF but then I spoke to a different consultant who thought it would be worth a try so I don’t have anything to lose so going to go for it. But just wish I could start it now x

@Hoping43 it's very frustrating, the delay must be driving you crazy. I was only 34 when we started trying. I'll be 39 in 6 months. I'm in Ireland so it's different, I've been seeing a gynaecologist privately, my GP is very supportive and understanding and actually you've made me think maybe I'll go and see her and ask for a prescription. We've decided we're not going down the ivf route.

Can I ask if you've tried Clomid? I have PCOS but ovulate regularly. I conceived on it twice , the month after taking it and the second time when taking metformin amd aspirin alongside it I went on to have my second child. I don't have insulin or weight issues but metformin has been shown to reduce the mc risk in PCOS women and aspirin is helpful across the board.

@NoFitStateMum I've been on clomid for 2 periods in the last 4 years, 3 months at a time. I wasn't on metformin or aspirin though. I'll mention them to my doctor though, thank you!

After my first ectopic they refused a HSG - I really had to push for one - it came back clear. But I think I was pretty naive as the test can only tell you if it's blocked or not. There is no test to say if it actually works and is able to move an egg through it. Once the tube is damaged or the little hair like muscles are damaged they can be repaired.
My second ectopic was an IVF transfer. Turns out IVF also increases the chance of an ectopic happening

@Hoping43

I didn't know I had scarring necessarily- but I did, within 6 months of my c section start to get incredibly painful ovulation pain - I guess that was the first sign. When they operated on my first ectopic the surgeon said they'd found a lot of adhesions and that my ovary has stuck to my bowel with scar tissue.

@couldishouldigoforit I’ve just found out this week from a consultant on a clinic Q&A that despite my HSG being clear, it doesn’t guarantee the tube functions correctly.

I find the whole thing mind boggling. I started TTC when my youngest was 18 months old so not sure what’s changed. I can’t start letrozole until sept so might do 3 months then go for ivf in the new year.

where does that leave you now? X

I had the same issue, left ovary stuck to abdomen due to scar tissue after c section.This sorted during my laparoscopy 3 years ago. Ovulation pain is still crippling though every single month😳

Hi everyone. Was so pleased to see this thread. Secondary infertility sure isn’t mentioned much! I’m now 38 with a 5 & 8yo. I know I’m lucky. I’ve been off the pill since 2019 hoping for our third but it just hasn’t happened. Had a MMC in 2020 resulting in D&C, since then not even a whisper of a line.
DC 1 took 12 months to conceive, DC 2 took 1 month. I also had a MC and a ruptured ectopic between the two, so I’m incredibly lucky to even have conceived DC2 💖
Third time around it’s just not happening. Now I’m in this strange state where I’m desperate for another DC one day, and wanting to stop trying the next. I even trawl through mumsnet posts looking at positive HPT’s fantasising what mine would ever look like. So sad! DP is happy to stop at two. I wish I could just drop it all off and not think about it anymore but part of me can’t stop thinking about it.
We’ve considered fertility treatments, I’ve had bloods and scans all look fine and I’m still ovulating. We’re not prepared to take it any further due to time and finances required.
Thanks for listening/reading and wishing the best outcomes for all of us x

@Hoping43

I'm lucky that I have 2 frozen embryos left. So debating one final transfer. I'm very much of the mind that I'd rather transfer them to give them a chance then destroy them. They aren't PGS tested so miscarriage is a high possibility (I PGS tested before and they were abnormal)

Hey @Farfaraway1 sorry to hear your story and I completely understand you’re pain. I feel like I don’t understand why we are the minority of people who can’t have another after having children already. I have two aged 5&2 and been trying for 15 months for a third. We are hoping to start treatment in the next couple of months as I just don’t feel I will ever rest if I don’t try it xx

@Hoping43

My advice when you already have children and are embarking on IVF is to set yourself a limit - either financially or time wise - I still feel an amount of guilt about how much IVF took my focus off my eldest - life was planned around treatment - no big purchases, no holidays, and obviously the drugs did make me hormonal and snappy. IVF was incredibly stressful - just the pressure and constant emotional and physical rollercoaster

Hi there, just thought I'd share my experience. We started trying to conceive when I ws 33 (DH was 36). After a year of trying we went for various tests and discovered my husband's count was 3.6 million. I was told there was no way we'd conceive naturally. I was reluctant to try IVF as I'd heard awful stories from people who did conceive, so tried to forget about it, but then fell pregnant the following month (aged 35) and have a DD.

Cut to trying for number 2 when DD was 9 months. After 6 months of no luck we went for an IVF consultation. His count was 3 million, my AMH was 5.3. We were told that we would have a good chance of conceiving naturally eventually but I was so desperate to have babies close together (I was a lonely only child) that we went for it. I ended up with only 2 eggs, neither of which fertilised.

Then the day before my DD's 2nd birthday I had a positive pregnancy test from natural conception. That sadly ended in a MMC at the 12-week scan (I didn't even know about MMCs until that point). After the initial grief I was determined to 'replace' that baby so went into another round of IVF. We went long protocol to try to get more eggs but I ended up with one, and found out my DH's count was 0.2million. The egg fertilised but got a BFN. And I have not ovulated since that finished.

Since realising I'm not a good candidate for IVF, I have done some digging on mumsnet and we have contacted Jonathan Ramsay. He has run some tests and given my DH some Anastrozole to help numbers, plus mentioned that it might be worth addressing a variocele to increase quality. But he also made me realise that chances are slim and that I should come to terms with the fact that I may only ever have one child.

My daughter is the most incredible thing to have ever happened to me. She brings us to much joy. But she is now 2 years, 9 months and I just feel I have completely let her down by not giving her a sibling. Plus, I sometimes have this really unfair thoughts of blaming my DH. When I know it is due to both of us.

I just have a real sense of grief. And I'm still dealing with the MMC even though it was in February. Plus the strain of this has really affected our marriage.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking. Just wanted to share my feelings. Sometimes I have hope. But then I don't want to live with that hope for it to be crushed as I get older (I'm 38 now). I need to move on with life, try to get back into a new career (the one I dedicated 15 years of my life to doesn't accommodate mothers), but in doing so that makes me feel like I am giving up. It takes a lot out of you.

@Lalawood

I'm sorry you haven't been able to have success so far it's all so utterly unfair

I have to say since I wrote my last post on this thread my marriage has disintegrated - largely as a result of IVF and secondary infertility. Whilst we did have our rainbow turns out my soon to be ex husband couldn't get over how we had to conceive and admitted he feels differently about our IVF rainbow than he does our naturally conceived. He said ultimately he felt like nothing more than a sperm donor in my pursuit of a sibling for our eldest and felt surplus to requirements once I had got what I wanted (well I always thought it was what WE wanted but there you go)