TTC 35+ Thread 13 (hopefully not unlucky for some!)

[thislittlebird]

I didn't realise the old thread had reached capacity until I hit 1000 so here's a new one. Thread 13 but feels more like 130 for me. New folks welcome, some of us have been hanging out here way too long and would like to alight already!

I've tagged a few of you...

@Tinkerbell098
@Marvellouslymadmum
@KatRee
@Hoping43
@ShirleyValentineManc
@Cally1980

@Carla2601 we're both in the 15 eggs club! How are you feeling? Post-EC is all a blur for me, I think it's the anaesthetic.

Is that what you got too?! Oh amazing!!! I didn’t know that. I’d be so happy with your embryo outcome so I’ll be keeping everything crossed.

Weirdly fine….managed 15,000 steps today (granted half were pre 7am 😂). No pain either, I’m thinking maybe they didn’t give me loads of anaesthetic. I’m hoping I’ll be ok tomorrow and I haven’t overdone it but I was bored and scared of getting a blood clot. Not that I’m dramatic or anything 😂🙈.

Ooops forgot to tag you @thislittlebird

Hi everyone, can I join you? I'm 37 and been TTC for 4 years and 9 months now (with a few planned breaks to avoid siblings wedding which kept getting rearranged due to covid). We do already have 2 children, however would love a 3rd, we never imagined it would take this long. I keep toying with whether I should call the doctor, see if there are any tests that should be done to see if there is an issue that could be solved, however we decided early on that it it didn't happen naturally for us we would accept we were meant to just have the two we have and wouldn't go down the IVF path. I'm just very aware of how much we would like this to magically happen, and that time has passed a lot more than I expected it to.

@thislittlebird Scotland looks amazing!

@Carla2601 I won't get the results until next week but I'm guessing it'll be another virtually nothing on the progesterone

@VikingsandDragons welcome, i would still get the tests done at the docs as you could find it's just something simple stopping it happening for you

I've decided it must be my weight effecting is ttc I'm only 5' tall and I've always been what they called overweight at around 10 stone 5 but I'm not built to be a skinny waif. I am now 12st 13 (thanks lockdowns) and although I'm a size 14/16 I don't look that big as I'm curvy. However I'm totally unhappy with my weight and would give anything to get back to that 10st5!! That weight suited me and even though I felt big at the time I look back now and think how thin I was compared to now!! If anyone has any weight loss tips or low fat healthy meals for a vegetarian please do send them my way cos at the moment no matter what I do lb's seem to increase rather than decrease! 🤦🏼‍♀️ I'm starting to get very fed up with it and I don't know what to do.

@Carla260115k steps! I wish I was doing that on a non EC day! I was scared of getting OHSS, but think felt mostly fine, just rested after EC and a trip to Five Guys.

@VikingsandDragons welcome! It really can be a long old slog.

@Marvellouslymadmum are you doing more progesterone testing?

I totally relate to your weight woes, my own weight is an issue right now. We need a support group! I'm 5'2 (on a tall day) and was always one of those people who didn't really fluctuate much in weight. I went from 8st something in my late teens to just under 10st in my mid 30s, but that wasn't too bad. Unlike you @marvellouslymadmum I am not curvy really, I've always had a slim upper body with much sturdier legs. I really don't think 10st 6 (which is what I am last I checked) looks good on me or healthy, and I'm very unfit right now. Taller people reading this will think that's nothing, but it's hard to explain how little you can get away with in terms of weight gain when you're short, the weight gain is always going on my back, middle and upper arms. Nothing fits comfortably right now, unless it's a jumper or tracksuit bottoms, my upper body is very barrel shaped now :/

I also have a small face but that now looks like a hamster face after a month or more of Prednisolone a year ago. The face thing is really getting me down, I don't look like myself anymore and I find that harder than weight gain in a way, but both together are proving a struggle for me. Covid, my eczema outbreak hell, working from home and ttc failure/infertility haven't helped, I'm quite down but but I'm in the transfers stage now so if it works I'll just have to accept being unhappy in my body until I've got the chance to lose a stone or more. That's before we even get into the world of pregnancy/post-partum bodies, if I ever do!

Sorry for the rant. I was taking holiday photos off my phone last night and saw a couple from the summer in Cornwall where I looked really big. It's weird, I look bigger but I only very slowly lose and gain weight/dress sizes. It creeps on, and I don't want it to keep doing that. I started dieting yesterday though, hoping if I can lose weight then my face will go back to normal too. I meant to go for a walk this morning but I've typed this rant out instead!

@Marvellouslymadmum talking of recipes, this is a favourite of mine: www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/vegetables-recipes/veggie-chilli/

Going to make a vat of it at the weekend to eat next week.

@thislittlebird yes I'm going to have my progesterone blood test tomorrow or Monday, I delayed it as I knew I hadn't ovulated but I think it'll still be low, when I do ovulate it's always really high at about 60 🤷🏼‍♀️

We definitely need a support group - weight loss for short people 😂 I never fluctuated much either, it's only since lockdowns started really that it's done the creeping on thing and I hate it!! I was 9st8 in my late teens and a size 8-10 went up to a 10-12 and 10st 3-5 after I had my children but that was fine. Then all of a sudden when lockdown started and I stopped teaching dance classes it just gradually went up and up and up, it really sneaked up on me though because I look the same shape just everything's bigger 🤣 I'm now enormously chesty and have hips to match with a thinner waist, I too have always had sturdy legs I think the weight is all in my back, arms, face and hips/boobs! My partner didn't understand and kept telling me I was the same as when we met until last night - we are supposed to be going out Friday and I have a lbd to wear but I'm not happy in it so I went and dragged out a couple of corset type things I have and they wouldn't go near me! He thought I'd had them before we were together yet one I only bought 4 years ago and it was too big!! I'm glad he doesn't see me as big but I do, I'm so unhappy with how I look. I've never felt the need to calorie count or diet but now it is a necessity!
Thank you for the recipe I'll check that out.
We will have to try and help each other out to get to our goals!!
One positive is that I've been offered to get trained in chichi fit which is dance based fitness as an instructor and should be doing that next month so at least if I can loose this weight teaching that a few times a week should keep it off like my dance classes used too 🤞🏻

@Marvellouslymadmum also a veggie and also short (5”3) haha! I do Hello Fresh which is great, if you haven’t tried I’ve got a free box to donate to a friend and you’d be v welcome to it. I’ve got a load of good soup and laksa recipes which I find are good for in the week if you like that sort of thing?

@thislittlebird sorry you’re feeling down about it - I think it’s hard not to lose a bit of yourself in all this isn’t it!

@Carla2601 it's more difficult than people think trying to loose weight when you're a veggie! I haven't tried hello fresh, that would be amazing thank you! I love soup no idea about laksa don't think I've ever tried it, I'm pretty flexible on food as look as it's not mega spicy and I'm not a big fan of lots of beans but I'm willing to give anything a go!

@Marvellouslymadmum sorry the progesterone/ovulation isn’t playing ball. My ovaries weren’t playing ball either, it’s all such fun. I never used to diet (or regularly exercise) but I think I have to now, my age has caught up with me probably. Along with all the other things that have contributed!

I’m really similar. Was an 8/10, then a 10/12 and now I think I’m pushing a 14 in trousers and I’m not loving that at all. My friend who is a 14 is tall and looks great, I do not lol

My boobs are weird, they don’t gain weight???? They’re a nice size as is, I don’t need them to get bigger, but I find it odd that the weight goes all on my back, belly and arms, never boobs! It used to be never face too until the bloody steroids.

Having a physical job is really helpful. Mine is desk based, I sit at home a lot 🙃. I’m going to try to walk to the station and back before work every morning so at least I’m moving a bit, even ok days I don’t get round to properly working out or running.

I’m not a veggie, but my dh is so we eat mostly veggie stuff. Can thoroughly recommend laksa! I might have to try this Hello Fresh thing too, see what it’s like.

I say I’m mostly veggie as I sit here with my M&S chicken and mushroom soup, but it’s rare, I bought this because I was rushing around Marks’ yesterday before I got the train home, but agree it’s hard to be low carb especially when veggie.

@Carla2601 it’s very hard. I get quite upset looking at some photos of myself now, I used to have a nice, defined face shape, now it’s like looking at someone else. It’s very strange, not a good feeling.

@thislittlebird yea my ovaries don't seem to like doing what they're told!! I'm a size 14 in most shops, apart from The stupid ones 🤣 and I hate it!! My daughter is 15 and is 5'11 it does nothing for my figure standing next to her!!
I think my weight has spread itself pretty evenly but is probably most noticeable in my back and arms, my boobs have definitely gained but they really didn't need to lol

I'll have to give the laksa a go!

@Marvellouslymadmum I weighed myself this morning, still at my max weight. Need to remind myself to do the exercise and low cal foods. She’s tall! Funny how they can be so different.

The back fat is the worst. I don’t know how to rid myself of it. Today I have to work out and do something, but I’m struggling to get moving at present. My holiday wore me out! Will do a morning of work and then maybe try some back fat exercises 🙃

@thislittlebird if you find any back date exercises please let me know!! It's the worst isn't it?! I asked for a ring fit for the switch for my birthday and have been using that, it's quite good!
She is annoyingly tall, her older brother has just about caught her up now after 10 years of being shorter than her 😂 they both definitely take after their dad not me!

@Marvellouslymadmum I will keep you posted! I'm still sat on my sofa. My weight depression has descended further into job depression. I didn't even get an interview for an internal job I applied for at work. It's upset me tbh, I did a degree a few years ago to getinto a new industry and now I'm stuck yet again at the same level in a different industry. No one seems to want to give me a promotion. Tempted to just move to the sea and open a cafe. Over it all.

@Marvellouslymadmum oh I’m sorry you’re feeling low that sucks - doesn’t help at all but I’m sure it’s their loss!

I’ve looked up the hellofresh codes for you both (should be a free £40 box), not sure if this works? If not I’ll try private message:

Marvellouslymadmum: www.hellofresh.co.uk/pages/raf_lp11?c=FRB-MDCP63VT1&utm_campaign=clipboard&utm_couponvalue=47&utm_invitername=Carla&utm_medium=iOSReferral&utm_source=raf-share

@thislittlebird: www.hellofresh.co.uk/pages/raf_lp11?c=FRB-MDCP63VT1&utm_campaign=clipboard&utm_couponvalue=47&utm_invitername=Carla&utm_medium=iOSReferral&utm_source=raf-share

That might be the same link twice is it might only work for whoever does it first but I have three so once ones gone I’ll get a new one.

Little update on the eggs: of the 15, 13 were mature and 12 fertilised normally. Next update is tomorrow so really hoping for good news but not getting my hopes up

@Carla2601 I was just reading that hand smack thread and saw your comment. Couldn’t agree more! Threads like that make me feel like an alien from another planet, I’m not sure this whole baby thing is a good idea when I see this stuff! Everyone seems to have lost their minds and overreact massively these day, not sure I’ll be able to navigate it if we go have a kid eventually lol

Thanks for the link! I’ll let @Marvellouslymadmum try first in case it’s the same one?

12 fertilising normally is great by the way! We had 13/15 mature and only had 9 fertilise normally, I’d be confident you’ll have a good few embryos left. Your DH’s sperm was fine, right? It was just an obstruction in the way.

Oh btw, my body isn’t playing ball 😑. It’s cd16 and I need my body to try to ovulate. I usually ovulate around day 17/18 on a longer cycle. Of course, this month nothing is happening. No EWCM, no LH rise, no dominant follicle. Every month I’ve been scanned so far I’ve had things go well and of course this month nothing is happening, just 35 follicles sitting in there chillin. I’m very over it all, I need by body to do what it’s supposed to do so that they won’t make me take oestrogen :/

@thislittlebird oh no I’m sorry - that is so so frustrating. I think our minds do powerful things to our bodies (my cycle which is 27 days on the nose never ever changes was 29 for start of treatment). Hoping things get going for you and keep us posted!

Ikr, they’re all so bloody self righteous and holier than thou it’s gross! We won’t be like that….although that thread about PFB had me howling and I think I would do some of those.

Thank you - we were really pleased. Just waiting on a call now. Yeah they said his sperm was great quality and my eggs looked good according to Sam who’s looking after them it was just a transportation issue so I’m really hoping for a few but don’t want to get my hopes too high of course. I’ll keep you up to date on the lil gang haha. Also 9 sounds pretty good too from 13 btw I was hoping for 8 so was very pleasantly surprised.

@Carla2601 that’s the thing! I feel stupid because I told them it’s regular (and normally it is) and now my body says nope, you can do one. I’m not even hungry but I’m going to eat some yogurt and flax seed in an attempt to provide some things my eggs might need 🙃

Yep, Honestly, what a bunch of self righteous puritans. I can’t get over some of the comments. Might as well arrest the grandmother, bring back capital punishment especially! You used the right words, it was a witch hunt. I’m sure some of the people on these threads get off on it. I have not read the PFB one! I need to do that, I did read the thread that prompted it. I’m sure I’d be guilty of the same stuff. Can’t quite bring myself to believe I’ll ever have a kid though, been doing all this nonsense for so long with zero progress.

I told my next door neighbour we were doing ivf the other day after she asked why we hadn’t complained about the decorator. She said her grandchild was an ivf baby and she thinks of them as special, which I thought was cute.

Yeah 9 wasn’t bad tbh. I was pleased. DH has some dna fragmentation issues (but nothing major) and low motility. They got some decent ones when they span them in the old centrifuge after EC so 9/13 was a positive outcome.

@thislittlebird ah I like you’re neighbour she sounds wise! It will happen but it’s bloody annoying when you can think of nothing else and you know you’re making it worse. Vicious cycle!

So embryo update is in - they’re all doing their thing! I cant believe it. One isn’t looking as great and 6 are better than the decent 5 but I feel so positive about them now. Renamed as ‘the 12’ in homage to killing eve haha

@Carla2601 I guess you can think of it as like...this would be your odds with one normal egg per month if the normal sperm got there. Speeding things up. For us it’s less in our favour (no blockage, obviously) because the sperm quality are not fantastic. Even then, it annoys me that literally none could meet an egg in over two years. 🤨

I just want to do my transfer now, feels really shit that nothing is going on.

@thislittlebird yeah you’re right - we’ve often said as crap as it is that we have zero natural chance in a way it’s good because it’s one really clear problem not lots of less cut and dried problems because it’s a more straightforward treatment plan to just solve one (granted big) issue. There’s no oh we’ll try this then that it’s just straight to the solution.

My main worry now is what if for some reason I can’t carry a pregnancy but I know there’s no point thinking like that

@Carla2601 yeah one clear problem is definitely better than the uncertainties.

No reason to worry about that yet really, wait until after you’ve had a failure, which you may not.

Ok so it’s day 17 today and my LH rise has gone back down 😞. I’m so upset right now, the one month I need my body to behave and it isn’t doing so. I’m going for a scan now, but I’m not optimistic any lead follicle will have grown.

Oh @thislittlebird I’m really sorry that’s so frustrating - fingers crossed for the scan and let me know what they say. Thinking about you