Would you wait a month?

BiscuitLover3678 · 2022-03-21T17:39:53+00:00

I’ve been TTC second baby since December - 4 months in and no luck. Next cycle the due date would be 30th December. I feel like it’s the absolute worst time for a birthday! Early is Christmas, on time is that horrible in between time of the year and even early Jan is miserable. I feel like what is one month in the grand scheme of things? Even if it takes another year, surely I won’t care that I’ll have missed one month ttc? But I’m also not sure I can stop for one month. 🙈 has anyone else done this? If you or your child has a birthday around this date, how do you make it special?

nearlyspringyay · 21/03/2022 17:43

Honestly, if you want a baby, keep trying, You cant time it to perfection, they could be early or late, or take four years to conceive. If its a December baby their world wont fall apart.

Finalbaby · 21/03/2022 17:44

Both of my children were born in December a week apart. They've never had a party due to being so close to Christmas however we do still have a day out or do something special for it. It just makes that time of year even more magical. I'm currently ttc my 3rd and I was sceptical about another December baby but I stopped my pill the end of feb and still no withdrawal bleed of period so I very much doubt it would happen right now anyway. It does make that time of year extra expensive but I wouldn't change it, they will get a party eventually I just need to be more organised 😂

ShowOfHands · 21/03/2022 17:46

My birthday is Dec 31st and I love it. However, I was a month early so even waiting a month is no guarantee that you'll miss that time period.

I waited to ttc dc2 as I didn't want an August baby and he was due at the end of Sept. My waters broke on Sept 1st. You just can't control these things.

RussianSpy101 · 21/03/2022 17:51

My DD is early Jan and my DS1 is early December. Never had any issues with their birthdays being close to Christmas at all.

Gabby82 · 21/03/2022 18:06

My first was a December baby and I loved it. He was born 22nd and the hospital was really festive when I had him - Christmas Dinner on the ward! Then when I brought him home for Christmas it just felt extra special. December is now so fun and parties haven't been an issue. I actually find more people are around and up for a party that time of year. Last year I did prosecco and mince pies for the parents while the kids played. Go for it!

Running365 · 21/03/2022 18:10

I'm definitely not waiting or skipping a month, as like others have said they could be weeks or months early. My second was due in March but had to be delivered at 28 weeks in December (and sadly died at 3 days old in NICU). I will wish every December that we had him here with us to celebrate his birthday had he survived.

Graceybaby · 21/03/2022 18:27

Agreed definitely wouldn't skip a month.. I don't care when their birthday is as long as they're here happy and healthy 🙂❤️ xxxx

Original poster

BiscuitLover3678 · 21/03/2022 18:27

@Running365

I'm definitely not waiting or skipping a month, as like others have said they could be weeks or months early. My second was due in March but had to be delivered at 28 weeks in December (and sadly died at 3 days old in NICU). I will wish every December that we had him here with us to celebrate his birthday had he survived.

I’m so sorry 😢

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Mummyme87 · 21/03/2022 18:33

I’m in the TWW and would be due about 6-10 December if it worked this cycle.
I’m debating missing a month, DS2 is 14th jan and I’m 15th, not keen on another January birthday. But equally could I actually not try for a month…. I doubt it

Original poster

BiscuitLover3678 · 21/03/2022 18:38

@Mummyme87

I’m in the TWW and would be due about 6-10 December if it worked this cycle. I’m debating missing a month, DS2 is 14th jan and I’m 15th, not keen on another January birthday. But equally could I actually not try for a month…. I doubt it

I wouldn’t mind an early December date like that. It’s the end of December which I think is the worst!

How do you find celebrating the Jan birthdays?

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Mummyme87 · 21/03/2022 19:30

@BiscuitLover3678 I loved and still do love having a mid January birthday, as a child I got the presents I didn’t get for Christmas 😬😬 and as an adult I love Christmas but don’t feel like i get the depressing January blues because I Get a birthday.

ShowOfHands · 21/03/2022 20:06

You keep saying end of Dec is the worst but are ignoring the people who've responded who say that's not the case. Maybe worth examining why you feel the way you do? Is it that you don't like post Christmas and early Jan? In which case, all the more reason to bring some cheer into that time of year. I love Christmas and having a NYE birthday feels a bit special tbh. End of Dec birthdays just extend the festivities

MrsGHarrison87 · 21/03/2022 20:11

No, don't wait. You've been trying 4 months already, I don't think you should be picky over something like this.

madeleine85 · 22/03/2022 02:13

My DD is dec 13, was due Jan 20. I really don’t think it is a problem. My best friend growing up was dec 27, and actually it was great. Because she was in that xmas spot where everyone went out around Xmas time/came home she had all her friends there for her bday.

irishfarmer · 22/03/2022 13:04

It is something I thought about and had decided I wouldn't TTC in Mar or April, in the end it hasn't mattered I am pregnant and due in July! I know as others have said you can't always plan and sometimes babies come early.

I have a niece and nephew born in Dec, their parents do make a fuss that it is their birthday and separate it from Christmas celebrations. My friend born 3rd Dec like it, that night out always kicked off the Christmas season. Friends born 24th and 25th not so keen (one born 25th celebrates her birthday in June). My birthday is mid Jan. I hated it growing up! It felt like an after thought compared to friends summer birthdays. Then as you get older everyone says how depressing it is, my birthday does sometimes fall on 'blue Monday'. Then as I got older ppl had no money to go out.
Now I do try and see it as a positive wonderful time, 'new year' ' new start' also something that didn't affect me I was crap at sport. My friend born at the end of Nov complained that she was in the older year sports team making her the youngest on the team. I would have been the oldest. Which is an advantage when you are u10

Original poster

BiscuitLover3678 · 22/03/2022 17:49

@irishfarmer

It is something I thought about and had decided I wouldn't TTC in Mar or April, in the end it hasn't mattered I am pregnant and due in July! I know as others have said you can't always plan and sometimes babies come early.

I have a niece and nephew born in Dec, their parents do make a fuss that it is their birthday and separate it from Christmas celebrations. My friend born 3rd Dec like it, that night out always kicked off the Christmas season. Friends born 24th and 25th not so keen (one born 25th celebrates her birthday in June). My birthday is mid Jan. I hated it growing up! It felt like an after thought compared to friends summer birthdays. Then as you get older everyone says how depressing it is, my birthday does sometimes fall on 'blue Monday'. Then as I got older ppl had no money to go out.
Now I do try and see it as a positive wonderful time, 'new year' ' new start' also something that didn't affect me I was crap at sport. My friend born at the end of Nov complained that she was in the older year sports team making her the youngest on the team. I would have been the oldest. Which is an advantage when you are u10

This is what I’m worried around.

This cycle coming would be 30th December then it’s like 25th January. All so rubbish!

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Original poster

BiscuitLover3678 · 22/03/2022 17:52

@ShowOfHands

You keep saying end of Dec is the worst but are ignoring the people who've responded who say that's not the case. Maybe worth examining why you feel the way you do? Is it that you don't like post Christmas and early Jan? In which case, all the more reason to bring some cheer into that time of year. I love Christmas and having a NYE birthday feels a bit special tbh. End of Dec birthdays just extend the festivities

I’m not ignoring, just busy. Yes they have made me feel much better about it :)

I’m still in two minds though. Tbh maybe it’s a selfish thing. Even this year I remember thinking ohh this would be a crap time for a baby next year and I was sick for a lot of December and January which didn’t help.

I’ve spoken to two friends IRL and they both said they would skip it! But easy for them to say I guess as they got pregnant before those months came up.

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Original poster

BiscuitLover3678 · 22/03/2022 17:52

But the positive stories on here are making me feel better!

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Original poster

BiscuitLover3678 · 22/03/2022 17:53

@RussianSpy101

My DD is early Jan and my DS1 is early December. Never had any issues with their birthdays being close to Christmas at all.

Do you find it easy to muster the energy for all the celebrations? Also do you tend to give them summer gifts too?

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PoleFairy · 23/03/2022 07:54

I'd say the fact that you dont mind skipping it means you should. I would literally sell my soul for a pregnancy as this is cycle 9 for me ttc my first and I'm now 31. Theres no way I'd skip a month for anything. The fact that you dont mind means you probably may as well

TheBigDilemma · 23/03/2022 07:58

I think you are over thinking it, you can have bad birthdays dates in every single school holiday when their friends are a bit out of the radar or away in holidays.

Just embrace the idea that you cannot control everything and keep trying.

HelloDarla · 23/03/2022 08:02

How long did it take to conceive your first?

Normally I'd say don't skip it, but reading your posts, I think maybe just skip this month and next. You're not keen on December or January at all, and you don't want it to be something you obsess about. Have a few months off then start trying again for a feb due date and onwards.

Original poster

BiscuitLover3678 · 23/03/2022 08:38

@HelloDarla

How long did it take to conceive your first?

Normally I'd say don't skip it, but reading your posts, I think maybe just skip this month and next. You're not keen on December or January at all, and you don't want it to be something you obsess about. Have a few months off then start trying again for a feb due date and onwards.

First was immediate. I’ll think on it, thanks

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ttcbecca · 26/03/2022 14:03

My birthday is 31st December and my DD’s is early December. After TTC for nearly 2 years I had no preference around birthdays! You can make a birthday special on any day of the year xx

irishfarmer · 26/03/2022 17:11

A pp poster said would you do summer presents. I know it is 100% materialistic and I am not like that anymore. But I think that would have made me like my January birthday as a kid. If for my birthday day I had cake/ card/ party but main birthday present was in summer. If you do that from their 1st birthday it will always be normal to them. I felt I missed out as a kid compared to sibling/ friends who had 'better' birthdays for getting presents. A mid-way point when you get a decent new toy. If their birthday is slap bang on Christmas I think I would choose a date in summer to celebrate their birthday/ have a party. That's just me and some might think I am focused on the completely wrong things.