Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Secondary infertility

51 replies

Sprogstersmum · 05/01/2008 20:15

Anyone else trying for another baby with no luck?? Was so sure this month that I was pregnant - af 3 days late which is unusual for me but no - literally peed on stick and then realised af had arrived. So, so gutted. Over a year of trying now and so desperately want another baby. Am going to phone GP on Monday re more tests. Feel so alone - don't know anyone else in the same boat - just surrounded by people with at least 2 dcs if not more. One friend who is pregnant with 1st dc following years of IVF and she is the only person who understands - best friend in the world but I can't keep burdening her with how down I feel. DP tries but he's a man, bless him!Sorry - just venting really!

OP posts:
Gursky · 05/01/2008 21:00

Sorry, no advice, but didn't want you to vent all alone.

Going to the Drs sounds like the best next step.

Good luck.

PrismManchip · 05/01/2008 21:05

Me.
Have been trying (via ivf - dh had cancer some years ago) for 2 and a half years now, it's getting ridiculous.
I can't help you with the medical side of things but can join you in a bloody good weep with a big shoulder to cry on.
Chances are you probably do know someone in the same boat - when my friends get pregnant they often tack on "and it took us 18 months, I was really worried" it seems.

random · 05/01/2008 21:09

Took me 2 years to get pregnant with my 2nd dd was prescribed clomid which seemed to do the trick...and then 9 years later had a surprise ds without even trying..so dont give up hope

anniemac · 05/01/2008 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hedgepig · 05/01/2008 22:00

Hiya Sprog... we have been trying for a year too, ds 4 1/3 I just see the potential; gap if I have a second just keeps getting bigger and bigger. But there is 14 years between me and my baby brother and we get on so chin up... next week is the week if dh shifts his awful cold.

fizzbuzz · 05/01/2008 22:06

I had secondary infertility, but clomid did it for me. Noe have gorgeous dd 18 months.

I was so desperate for a baby, that every month my body mimiced the symptoms of pregnancy, like tiredness and nausea. Then AF would start and I would feel crap.

Specialst said this sort of thing was quite common

FlorenceFarkingNightingale · 05/01/2008 22:07

We've been trying for dc2 for about 14 months now, but it also took us over 4 years to conceive dd (one m/c along the way), so we're consistently not good at it! Have no idea why. I had blood tests and definitely ovulate fine, but dh doesn't want to be tested. Most of my post-natal group of friends are heavily pregnant again already (dd is 23 months).

sideways · 05/01/2008 22:14

I had secondary infertility and did exactly the same as you a couple of times - weed on the stick then founf out af had started. I remember the feeling of being completely gutted.

Dh and I had all the tests, which were all fine, so just had to keep going.

I finally got pregnant after almost 1.5 years and am due in a couple of weeks.

Make sure you insist on as many tests as you can, don't take no for an answer.

PrismManchip · 05/01/2008 22:46

We have one pair of friends who haven't got to their second child.
Most of my friends are contemplating a third now, or pregnant with no. 3.
I keep thinking ds would have been so happy with a sibling and really may never have one. It's hard.

wheelybahhumbug · 05/01/2008 22:53

Hello. Another here, although did conceive easily second time only to m/c at 7 weeks and have now been trying for getting on for 18 months since m/c.

In 2007 I think about 15 babies were born to my friends and most were second ones (or thirds !). I just sit there watching the age gap getting bigger and bigger between dd and potential sibling.

Just waiting for dh's tests results back and then we can get referred so here's hoping for 2008 !

Good luck everyone.

PrismManchip · 05/01/2008 23:04

And doesn't everyone consider it a topic of conversation?
I have lost count of the times people have told me to have another. THe last time was three days after finding out the last ivf cycle had failed, and luckily dh was there to join in with the dissembling or I might have cracked.

Original poster
Sprogstersmum · 06/01/2008 13:02

Thanks for all your comments - and good to hear the success stories of others in the same boat. Agree re age gap - if it takes us another year then dd and no.2 will never be in the same school at the same time!! Sure dd would love a sibling! most of my friends know we aren't having any luck so are sensitive but we haven't told parents - just know they will then ask about it all the time and just can't quite face them asking all about 'our business' but on the other hand at least it would stop bloody mil saying 'we need another grandchild and we're relying on you - SIL has done her bit' That was her first comment as we sat down to Christmas dinner last year!

OP posts:
Bellie · 06/01/2008 14:36

Same here too - had an ectopic pregnancy 14 months ago and since then nothing. Finding it really hard as conceived dd 3 months of trying and the same with the ectopic.
Have made an appointment to go and see the doctor later this month and am now cribbing up on what to ask etc.

It is so hard I am struggling sooooo much everytime another of my friends announces her 2nd or 3rd pregnancy. I just want to hold another baby in my arms..

anniemac · 06/01/2008 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StarlightMcKenzie · 06/01/2008 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FAWKEOFF · 06/01/2008 14:59

it took me 13 months to get AF after giving birth to DD....she was 2 years 9 months by the time DS arrived

fishie · 06/01/2008 15:15

it is extraordinary how people feel it is quite ok to ask about things like this when they don't even know you that well. some of my friends know that it took me a long time to conceive ds and hopefully have the sense not to enquire after no 2. but i am really shocked at how many people think it is a good idea to tell me to hurry up and have another one.

wardrobemistressakasugarfree · 06/01/2008 15:30

It took 2 months to get pregnant with ds1,took us a month to fall the next time (ended in mc at 8 weeks).
Took us 4 years to have ds2.Had all the tests,nothing wrong,had sex every day,had sex every other day,had sex at ovulation only,took clomid-just made me suicidal,went on holidays, 'relaxed',you know,all the usual.
Started planning a return to work and Bingo!
When we planned ds3 (without too much hope) I got a positive within a month.
Don't know what was keeping ds2 but he was worth the wait.

anniemac · 07/01/2008 09:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PrismManchip · 07/01/2008 10:13

It's just such a socially acceptable question.
You'd think people would see a 4-yr age gap and think but apparently not.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I actually told them the truth but I think if I ever do that I will know I need help.

anniemac · 07/01/2008 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PrismManchip · 07/01/2008 10:25

Because it would be horrible for them. I would have lost the filter that stops me being horrible to people!
But that's me telling them I have had five unsuccessful and very expensive and rather unpleasant goes at ivf, not a vague "Oh we're trying".

TheGoatofBitterness · 07/01/2008 10:32

pats prism sympathetically. it really is arsityfuckshit. people have stopped asking me which is good. i need to find a way of accepting it may not happen and move on but not entirely sure such a solution exists.

anniemac · 07/01/2008 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PrismManchip · 07/01/2008 10:43

arsityfuckshit
About sums it up!