Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Secondary infertility

51 replies

Sprogstersmum · 05/01/2008 20:15

Anyone else trying for another baby with no luck?? Was so sure this month that I was pregnant - af 3 days late which is unusual for me but no - literally peed on stick and then realised af had arrived. So, so gutted. Over a year of trying now and so desperately want another baby. Am going to phone GP on Monday re more tests. Feel so alone - don't know anyone else in the same boat - just surrounded by people with at least 2 dcs if not more. One friend who is pregnant with 1st dc following years of IVF and she is the only person who understands - best friend in the world but I can't keep burdening her with how down I feel. DP tries but he's a man, bless him!Sorry - just venting really!

OP posts:
anniemac · 07/01/2008 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PrismManchip · 07/01/2008 10:49

THanks Annie
We do tell family, but you know, it's hard to tell the mothers at ds's nursery or people you're trying to make friendships with (we moved recently). I mean, everybody asks. One day I am going to flip.
We had a devil of a time with dh's elderly spinster aunt: she kept asking, hinting etc, so we got MIL to gently remind her about the ivf. Turned out she assumed you pay for it, take the treatment, and bingo! You're pregnant. I had a talk to her about success rates and she said "Oh, so-and-so's daughter had ivf and has three children, no reason why you can't as well" Turned out on questioning that the sum total of her knowledge about ivf came from the Daily Mail.

anniemac · 07/01/2008 10:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PrismManchip · 07/01/2008 11:03

That is sad about your brother. Ten years is a long time and you do put off a lot of things "just in case".

anniemac · 07/01/2008 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PrismManchip · 07/01/2008 11:24

He is right!
I was putting off training as a doula (have always been fascinated by pregnancy and birth and have become a lot more feminist since ds was born...) because I wanted to have a second child before I did that. I realised last year that if I didn't do it I was going to get really resentful of the endless "Oh maybe next year, maybe next year..."
So the irony is, that is what I am doing and am really enjoying it, whilst the non-conception of dc2 is hacking me off to a huge degree.

anniemac · 07/01/2008 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

wheelybahhumbug · 07/01/2008 15:57

Wow. 10 years - poor them. My DH knows someone who had successful IVF after 14 years of trying. I so admire people like that.

Right with you on the 'everyone seems to ask'. I went to my bookclub chrsitmas night out last week and I am quite new to it and have got into it through one of my bestest friends. Everyone else I've basically just met. They are principally (bar my best friend) all from one antenatal group and their children have just turned 2. I think all of them now either have number 2 or announced it at the meal. One of these turned to me (it was the first time I'd met her) and she said 'Are you having more'. Whilst I was spluttering, my wonderful friend (who incidentally didn't know about our issues) jumped in and changed the subject. I asked her afterwards if she had guessed and she just said 'no its just plain rude of someone to ask that question' and she is single, childless but still realised some thinks just should not be asked. The upside was that it gave me an opportunity to tell her as I thought she'd have been wondering.

Anyway, am trying hard on the 'not putting off' thing. We put off skiing last year (ok not a life-changing decision) because my due date was March 07 and I was desperate to be pg before then and then regretted not just going skiing. So we have decided if this month wasn't the month we would book skiing for march and enjoy ourselves. On CD28 today (of a longish cycle) and had a bit of a wobble last night as am fairly certain it hasn't worked this month but then didn't want to stop ttc for 2 months but then know I'll be cross when it doesn't happen and we haven't been skiing. Arrrrrggghhh ..... but I know we should just go for it.

Oh god, have ranted on and on (Pre-menstrual - moi ?!).

wheelybahhumbug · 07/01/2008 15:57

Wow. 10 years - poor them. My DH knows someone who had successful IVF after 14 years of trying. I so admire people like that.

Right with you on the 'everyone seems to ask'. I went to my bookclub chrsitmas night out last week and I am quite new to it and have got into it through one of my bestest friends. Everyone else I've basically just met. They are principally (bar my best friend) all from one antenatal group and their children have just turned 2. I think all of them now either have number 2 or announced it at the meal. One of these turned to me (it was the first time I'd met her) and she said 'Are you having more'. Whilst I was spluttering, my wonderful friend (who incidentally didn't know about our issues) jumped in and changed the subject. I asked her afterwards if she had guessed and she just said 'no its just plain rude of someone to ask that question' and she is single, childless but still realised some thinks just should not be asked. The upside was that it gave me an opportunity to tell her as I thought she'd have been wondering.

Anyway, am trying hard on the 'not putting off' thing. We put off skiing last year (ok not a life-changing decision) because my due date was March 07 and I was desperate to be pg before then and then regretted not just going skiing. So we have decided if this month wasn't the month we would book skiing for march and enjoy ourselves. On CD28 today (of a longish cycle) and had a bit of a wobble last night as am fairly certain it hasn't worked this month but then didn't want to stop ttc for 2 months but then know I'll be cross when it doesn't happen and we haven't been skiing. Arrrrrggghhh ..... but I know we should just go for it.

Oh god, have ranted on and on (Pre-menstrual - moi ?!).

wheelybahhumbug · 07/01/2008 15:57

oops - and then posted twice ! And haven't changed christmas name....

sambrads · 07/01/2008 16:50

hi ya i am also having problems concieving second time round took 3 months wit ds then got under active thyroid which stopped my af!!
now i am on my first month of clomid and just really hopes it works as im at my wits end so want a baby !!!

DungunGirl · 08/01/2008 15:24

I have been trying for a year for no.2 and it took me 3 months with ds.

Have been through blood tests and ultrasound to find out what is wrong.

At what point did your GP/consultant decide it was secondary fertility and agree to perscribe clomid?

It feels like i am jumping through all these hoops and I just can't see the end...

sambrads · 08/01/2008 15:52

hi ya dungungirl i have been trying from end of may with no hope and every month every blood test showed no ovulation so got clomid!!!!

i think you should put pressure on the doc to give you it!!!!

i was same as you got preg wit ds after 3 months of ttc!!

i had no idea this was going to happen the second time round!!!

please just keep on at your doc tell them you will buy it off the net that your really desperate!!!!

Original poster
Sprogstersmum · 08/01/2008 19:55

We've been trying a year - got pregnant 7 months ago but m/ced. Oh and am 36 so past that 35 mark! Only took 4 months for DD1. Have had blood test and ultrasound and GP has now referred us for further tests but have no idea what these involve - can any one enlighten me?? Also GP said I take it you're going NHS and said we would be seen within 3 months - does anyone know how much quicker private would be and how much it would cost? Thanks.

OP posts:
sambrads · 08/01/2008 20:49

hi ya sprogstermum i am not sure of the cost but i am sure you would be taken straight away !!!!!!

i am awaiting an mri scan for my back and have been waiting 5 months and could get it done next week if i have £500 spare !!!!!

if you have money you can go places!!!!!

DungunGirl · 09/01/2008 14:31

Hi SAmbras

I was indeed thinking of threatening my GP with 'buying clomid off the internet'. In fact, my DH is already trying to as he doesn't want to wait for the NHS to agree to give it to us! However, I am too scared to do that!

Fingers crossed, the next time I see the GP for results of the scan I can pressure her into Clomid!

DungunGirl · 09/01/2008 14:32

Sprogstersmum!!!!!

You are in the EXACT same situation as I am. Have had the blodd tests and just done the scan.

I was told that if i get referred to the fertility unit at the hospital there will be a 2 month wait.

Let me know if you find out what supposedly happens next!

sambrads · 09/01/2008 17:13

i am actually shocked at how quick i got clomid as i have been reading other threads and everyone is being referred to a fertility unit but i just got it from my gp!!!

i am not being monitored either the only thing she said was that you have a 30% chance of having twins!!!!!

i would have bought clomid from the net but i agree very scary but definately push your gp as they will be scared that you will buy it !!!!!!

DungunGirl · 10/01/2008 09:14

Sambrads

Out of interest what part of the country are you in? And was it a woman GP or a male GP?

I am in the Thames Valley and my GP is a woman. She has been very supportive and understanding, but she does seem very straight. So I will have to see if my threats will work!

I think you are kind of lucky that your GP was prepared to just perscribe, but at the same time it does make you wonder if everyone else seems to have to be referred first. Hope all will work out for you.

sambrads · 10/01/2008 12:55

i live in northern ireland and my gp is a women !!!

i have to go tomorrow to see her do you want me to find anything out for you??/

oh dungungirl i hope this is my month !!
i am on day 19 of cycle and dont feel any different so maybe i am building my hopes up for nothing!!
i hate to see the negitive on the tests!!!!

give me a shout when you need any advice!!!!!!!!!!!

sambrads · 10/01/2008 12:56

dungungirl come join us on the ttc thread there is alot of supportive women there !!!

DungunGirl · 10/01/2008 16:44

Sambrads

I'd love to keep in touch to find out how you get on.
Fingers crossed this is your month!!!

I'd love you to ask your GP if the GP's here in England are allowed to perscribe clomid. Someone said that over here only the consultants at the fertility units can perscribe.

After all, not much point me threatening my GP that I am going to buy clomid off the web if she actually can't perscribe!

Are you going to ask your GP about being monitored on Clomid? If she thinks that on the lower dose it is safe to risk it without ultrascans...I could even be tempted by the internet!

sambrads · 10/01/2008 17:00

i will ask the gp not a problem at all !!!!!

i will say to her is it ok to get off the net i do remember seeing it on ebay one time!!!

did you check out the ttc thread???

sambrads · 11/01/2008 19:53

hi ya dungungirl was at docs today and she said she was not too sure about the way the docs work in england as they are all different!!

she did say that you should push it a bit and if there is anything wrong clomid would definately be prescribed!!!!

DungunGirl · 14/01/2008 14:03

Thanks sambrads

I will try and push. I need to book my appointment for this friday, so I'll see whether y GP will shift!

How are you?