Preparing to TTC in 2022 Part 2

[WingingIt09]

Wow can't believe we've filled a thread! Looking forward to continuing to follow everyone's TTC journey! Here's hoping for our first BFPs!

January
@Worryant #2 (38)
@OCM19 #2 (31)
@Bear486 #1
@Cavylady #1 (33)

February
@Nyxxie #1 (34)
@QueenBee22 #2 (31)
@lj2022 #1 (27)
@Trixie22 #3 (25)
@FourOclock #3 (32)
@MrsGrealish
@PinkButtercups

March
@Cheekypeach #2 (29)
@hevann #1 (35)
@Gizzy93 #1 (29)
@DanceWithYourBalloon #3 (37)

April
@HippeePrincess #3 (34)
@Dreamingof3 #3 (34)
@Jennifer89 #1 (32)
@Babyjellyfish #2
@tryingtryinggone #2 (27)
@LucyLoopyLu #1 (33)
@PrettyPolly92 #1
@tropicana1 #1

May
WingingIt09 #3 (30)
@Notjustafurmum #1 (28)
@Vasectomyreversalhopeful #2 (33)
@Summerbreeze111 #1 (31)
@Amber17 #1 (33)
@Springblooms08 #1 (29)
@BellaNutella88 #2
@Superstorefan123 #1
@Duckandsarah #2

June
@BlueberryMacaron #1 (30)
@DanisEndo #1 (26)
@Sunshine0987 #1 (30)

July
@NarnieJoy #1 (25)

August

September
@NotARegularMum #1 (32)

?
@excited101

@alwaysseeingstars

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend? Anyone have a nice Mother's Day to remind us waiting for #1 why this is all worth it?! haha

@Nypie & @WingingIt09 thanks, unfortunately didn't need to test as had such horrendous cramps Saturday that I had a seizure (I'm very prone to these) and ended up back in hospital, who confirmed I had lost it - very early of course so hopefully not a sign of things to come. But my gosh, so much blood & clots since it's horrible!

Anyone with any good news or upcoming tests?!

So sorry to hear this.

I hope you're getting some rest and looking after yourself x

I'm so sorry @alwaysseeingstars 😞 sending lots of love ❤️

Thanks everyone, appreciated! Does anyone who has had a chemical (and sorry if you have xx) know if their cycles went back to being regular after? And does this bleed last/count as your usual AF? Hope that makes sense!

@WingingIt09 sounds positive for you then having cousins so close in age. My tummy did sink at first with SIL announcement but now getting over it and agreed with dh shouldn't delay ttc..
Is tricky isn't it.. there can always be something to put off ttc..
A wedding, close family birthdays etc..
We have quite a few birthdays around April May but ironically we still want a spring born baby and just hoping no birthdays clash. March due date would be perfect as least amount of birthdays and events but not sure we can time that exactly.. Fingers crossed

@alwaysseeingstars - what a horrible week, really hope you're ok and you are taking care of yourself / being looked after 💜

@Bear486 - good luck, let us know what the test says!

@jennifer89 - would be so lovely to have cousins close in age! I know what you mean about everthinking everything but firmly believe you have to be selfish
It's obviously different but my OH kept waiting to propose for several reasons but one of them was he didn't want to seem like he was just doing it because everyone else was (had a lot of friends also get engaged around the same time), but he regretted it as then his grandma and grandad had already sadly died beforehand and no elderly people could come to our (almost cancelled) wedding because covid absolutely decimated our guest list. If he had popped the question as soon as he was sure we would have had 2019 wedding instead of 2020 🤣

This sounds incredibly selfish but with all three of my pregnancies I have never considered anyone other than us as an immediate family when deciding a right time for TTC. I know that sounds harsh. When we were TTC number two, DH's cousin lost her baby very far on in the pregnancy. We were very very careful in how we announced the news to her/her close family when I was pregnant with DC2, but I wouldn't expect anyone to put their life on hold because of something that happened to me so we didn't stop TTC. I missed a few weddings and a funeral due to pregnancy/newborns but I have never looked back and regretted having my babies at those times. What I'm trying to say is, if you try to accommodate everyone else, there will never be a right time to have a baby. Even between yourselves as a couple you will probably always find a reason not to have one (enough money/space/time/good time for work and on and on) but if your heart is ready for a baby, everything else can get figured out.

I agree with everyone who said don't wait. I regretted the cycles I didn't try for no.1.

CD4 today, which means it's perfect timing for my appointment with my gynaecologist next week. He'll do an ultrasound to see if my follicles are developing and then hopefully we will trigger ovulation. (This treatment worked for me last time after recurrent miscarriages.)

Hello all, I'm new here - actually my first ever comment!
Firstly, congratulations to those who are pregnant and best of luck to all those actively trying 

I'm in a sticky situation, I'm 24, been with my partner for 6 years, homeowner, and been in a stable job for 3 years now (straight out of university).

My partner is a few years older than me and has been talking about the idea of children for a while now and likes the idea of 'trying but not trying', and if it happens it happens kind of thing (I know it's not that simple!)

Long story short, I have been on the combined pill for a good 8 years I would say now, and this whole conversation came up because I expressed how I'd like to come off the pill just as I want to be free of any synthetic hormones - sounds silly but I don't actually know what my natural cycle/mental state is like and I just really want to see if I would feel better not being on it.
When having this discussion with my partner I decided it's definitely something I want to do, but we would be careful as TTC didn't seem like the right thing at this time when we originally spoke about it. But after a few more conversations he had more of a 'if it happened would it actually be a bad thing?' kind of attitude, and to a degree I agree with him.

In an ideal world, I would want to wait TTC until September, for various reasons including holidays, work etc etc.

I have a few concerns and just wanted peoples opinions really..

1. Am I too young? Lots of my friends and people I know of the same age have children and I don't see them as being too young at all, but I hate the thought of being judged by work colleagues for example. But then I think back on that and think it's silly to plan my life around what others may or may not think.

We have done lots of travelling together before we settled down and purchased the house and a dog etc, so I know we are settled and financially (as anyone can be I guess) we wouldn't struggle with a baby.

1. I have a few holidays booked this year... is it worth holding off for those? In my head this seems like a sensible idea, but at the same time I also think when is there ever a time where you don't have something planned?

1. Work. I have been at my workplace for 3 years now and worked my way up, I really enjoy my job.

My boss is due to go on maternity leave in a few weeks and there isn't anyone replacing her, therefore the responsibility kind of lies with me. I worry then if I did get pregnant what would happen. Sound so silly I know but it is just in my head.

1. My pill. Like I stated above, ideally we would start TTC in around September time when majority of the things I stated above wouldn't be much of a worry by then. But at the same time I think is it worth waiting for?

Sorry for the long first post, it would just be great to have some opinions!
Also, be good to know how people found coming off their pill etc. and any tips
Be good to know of anyone who came off the pill in preparation for TTC later down the line, what steps did you take to be careful? I have the flow app download and ready to use but I don't know how reliable that is in terms of fertile days etc.!

Hi everyone!
Have been quiet and not realised the second thread had been so busy so not fully caught up...

Having a mare and could do with some advice!

wedding - Recently got engaged (yay!) and planning to wed 1st Sep 2023, would prefer to not be pregnant for that :)

work - Work has been mental and i hate my team, the boss is very unprofessional, rude, makes personal comments (not just to me, everyone is scared of her and she has often been reported for bullying, racist and sexist comments but little to none has been done due to her position). Unsurprisingly I'm looking to leave, however, I've been enrolled in a industry training program which aims to progress me to the next stage of my career, this has no fixed timeframe for when it finishes, could be 6 months, could be a year. I could look to find this elsewhere but most places want you to work there for at least a couple of years before they'll enroll you on this so leaving now could set me back a couple of years minimum in my career. As a side note the company has also announced its in the process of being sold - not sure how this will change the working environment yet.
I'm also conscious of how long I'd have to work somewhere before I'm entitled to maternity.

house - we're in the process of buying a house which is wiping our savings, hoping moving in May. Once moved we'll need to spend a little on kitting out but it doesn't need 'work' so we'll be focusing on building our emergency fund back up then saving for the wedding.

baby - my fiancé is finally ready to start BUT he's said he would like to be in the house first (makes sense) and ideally to wait until the end of the year to start trying in December. I've pointed out that doing that would mean (assuming we got lucky and fell pregnant right away) I'd be due on our wedding... not ideal. I've suggested we start trying earlier and if it doesn't happen by December we pause trying and use protection until after the wedding. But then trying sooner again brings into questions what i do work wise... the obvious suggestion would be to not try at all until after the wedding however I have severe endometriosis and after my last surgery my doctor said that if we're looking to try in the next couple of years anyway he'd suggest prioritising this year rather than next, due to the location and speed of development of my disease. He hasnt said that if we delay 'i wont be able to get pregnant' or anything as dramatic as that just that its likely to take longer to try and we may find we're at a higher risk of ectopic pregnancies. I've wanted to try for a couple of years and want multiple children so the sooner the better whereas my partner has needed some time.

I know im probably over thinking all this...

Would love to know what anyone thinks i should do in terms of moving work / when we should start trying...

sorry for the word vomit and thanks anyone who has advice.

I should also add to the above that currently i have the coil to help manage the pain from the Endometriosis but having this removed would mean im in agony again... the longer it took us to try the longer id be in pain so the thought of stop/starting trying - although might be best option for my partner - would be hellish for me.... and I'd fear having to drug up to manage pain on my wedding day.

Lovely partner is encouraging me to quit my job as hes seen how unhappy ive been there, but admitted the other day he hadnt considered the maternity implications as wasnt aware you have to work somewhere x long to be eligible.

How old are you, @DanisEndo?

hi @babyjellyfish im 26, been with my partner for 8 years, we both earn well and are good savers, both have really good family support local to us

@rosecbrm

Hello all, I'm new here - actually my first ever comment! Firstly, congratulations to those who are pregnant and best of luck to all those actively trying 

I'm in a sticky situation, I'm 24, been with my partner for 6 years, homeowner, and been in a stable job for 3 years now (straight out of university).

My partner is a few years older than me and has been talking about the idea of children for a while now and likes the idea of 'trying but not trying', and if it happens it happens kind of thing (I know it's not that simple!)

Long story short, I have been on the combined pill for a good 8 years I would say now, and this whole conversation came up because I expressed how I'd like to come off the pill just as I want to be free of any synthetic hormones - sounds silly but I don't actually know what my natural cycle/mental state is like and I just really want to see if I would feel better not being on it.
When having this discussion with my partner I decided it's definitely something I want to do, but we would be careful as TTC didn't seem like the right thing at this time when we originally spoke about it. But after a few more conversations he had more of a 'if it happened would it actually be a bad thing?' kind of attitude, and to a degree I agree with him.

In an ideal world, I would want to wait TTC until September, for various reasons including holidays, work etc etc.

I have a few concerns and just wanted peoples opinions really..

1. Am I too young? Lots of my friends and people I know of the same age have children and I don't see them as being too young at all, but I hate the thought of being judged by work colleagues for example. But then I think back on that and think it's silly to plan my life around what others may or may not think.

We have done lots of travelling together before we settled down and purchased the house and a dog etc, so I know we are settled and financially (as anyone can be I guess) we wouldn't struggle with a baby.

1. I have a few holidays booked this year... is it worth holding off for those? In my head this seems like a sensible idea, but at the same time I also think when is there ever a time where you don't have something planned?

1. Work. I have been at my workplace for 3 years now and worked my way up, I really enjoy my job.

My boss is due to go on maternity leave in a few weeks and there isn't anyone replacing her, therefore the responsibility kind of lies with me. I worry then if I did get pregnant what would happen. Sound so silly I know but it is just in my head.

1. My pill. Like I stated above, ideally we would start TTC in around September time when majority of the things I stated above wouldn't be much of a worry by then. But at the same time I think is it worth waiting for?

Sorry for the long first post, it would just be great to have some opinions!
Also, be good to know how people found coming off their pill etc. and any tips
Be good to know of anyone who came off the pill in preparation for TTC later down the line, what steps did you take to be careful? I have the flow app download and ready to use but I don't know how reliable that is in terms of fertile days etc.!

I should add to this, I know that coming off the pill doesn't mean you will get pregnant straight away, but I'm just trying to think of every eventuality!

I really hope this post doesn't come across as ignorant in anyway

If you got pregnant quickly, do you think your work training programme is something that could be sped up so you could ideally get it finished before you go on maternity leave? Because even if you got pregnant right now that would give you 9 months, and you're not going to get pregnant right now because you've still got your coil in.

@rosecbrm I wouldn't necessarily worry about any of those issues (especially not work, no one is irreplaceable!) but since you're only 24 I would also be pretty relaxed about waiting until September.

For what it's worth I know quite a few people who have got pregnant within weeks of stopping the pill.

@alwaysseeingstars I'm so sorry!

@babyjellyfish thank you, that makes me feel better.

Yes exactly, I am in by no means any rush but it's just definitely something I have started thinking about.

Yes I have heard this too, which is why I want to try and at least be somewhat careful because as I said September would be the ideal time i guess, when we have no plans and I am slightly older!
The more I think about it the more I want it, but that's only natural I guess! I have never felt 'broody' in anyway until recently, it's crazy how it just comes over you!

Thank you for replying

@babyjellyfish

If you got pregnant quickly, do you think your work training programme is something that could be sped up so you could ideally get it finished before you go on maternity leave? Because even if you got pregnant right now that would give you 9 months, and you're not going to get pregnant right now because you've still got your coil in.

@babyjellyfish im not sure to be honest... potentially. I dont know how to find that out without letting on that im thinking of trying. I also dont know if I could hack another 9 months+ under my current boss although maybe the acquisition would mean shes held to account more? So many variables! I know there's no perfect time, and you cant time these things as theres no telling how quick or long it could take. It's just so hard, i guess i want to feel like im making the best decision for our family i can with the information we have.

@rosecbrm It's very normal to feel broody, especially when you are thinking about trying soon. But at your age I think I would enjoy your holidays and then start trying in September.

@DanisEndo Can you have a chat with your manager or HR contact (whoever is responsible for the training) and do a sort of stock take of which parts you've completed and which parts you have left to do, and try to get some intel on when you might be able to do those parts? You can totally have that kind of conversation without mentioning pregnancy plans or implying that you're thinking of leaving. (If you're only 26 they won't necessarily expect you to be thinking about getting pregnant yet anyway, which is to your advantage.) Just frame it in terms of being keen to get on. Start trying to move things forward now, and then if you get pregnant, once you get past the first trimester you can tell your boss you're pregnant and then say, "I'd really like to complete the training before I go on maternity leave, how can we make this happen?"

Personally I found that I cared a lot less about things and people at work that annoyed me when I was pregnant, because I knew I was only there for a few more months until mat leave anyway. And since I came back to work everything has been different anyway.

Anyway, I was going to say, if you can try and move forward with the training, in your position I would probably TTC now, and take a break later on if you want to.

thank you so much @babyjellyfish thats really good advice.... The HR is my direct line of contact and also director and I have a weekly standing meeting with her so i could defo ask for a progress update in the way you've described. She knows im not happy with how ive been treated by the boss so that might persuade her to ramp up the training to try and get me to stay on board. (im not as smug as that reads - the boss is so difficult everyone in the company has refused to work with her and they struggle to keep external hires for longer than the probationary period... so they're keen to keep me on board as i've survived 2 years with her now, a new record.)

Thats a good point about caring less when you knew you were pregnant. I hadnt thought about that...

thank you so much for persevering through my ramblings :') really appreciate the advice.

@DanisEndo

you have been employed by the same employer for at least 26 weeks by the end of the 15th week before the expected week of childbirth (which is approximately the 26th week of pregnancy). In other words you need to have started the job before you got pregnant..

I think it may be worth however sticking out your job and ttc as who know things could get better..

@DanisEndo that’s tricky, in theory you have lots of time, but at the same time I can see why the endometriosis might make you want to ttc sooner. You can always stop ttc if you are at a point when you don’t want to be due/heavily pregnant.

@babyjellyfish I had my first when I was 24 started trying and got pregnant at 23, it’s not always too young but it is young. More importantly than age, I’d make sure your partner is the right one for you. Which although I was married, financially stable etc, my dh wasn’t “the one”, and because he was my first serious relationship and I hadn’t had a good relationship modelled in my childhood I actually hadn’t realised how shit and actually abusive he was.
I’d be absolutely certain about you partner, rather than worry about your age.

@rosecbrm firstly welcome! I don't think you're too young, if you feel you are ready. I was 25 when I had my eldest, we were the first of our friends to have a baby and for us it was the right time (we'd been together 7 years and had just got married). I think some of our friends thought we were nuts but we were just in a different place in our lives to them (and still are, which is fine). I don't think there is ever a perfect time with work/holidays etc. there will always be something/some reason to wait. I came off the pill 6 months before TTC my first and just used condoms instead.

@DanisEndo wow you've got a lot going on. Congratulations on your engagement! I can see why you might not want to wait with your endometriosis. I'm not happy in my job right now either and I'm holding out from changing jobs so I can have my maternity benefits. However, my team are great and supportive, it's the nature of the job that's hard, so I think I can manage to keep going. Do you think you can stick it out for however long it takes? Don't stay if it affects your mental well-being , particularly as you'll also be coping with endometriosis symptoms since you'll be off the coil. No maternity benefit is worth affecting your mental well-being for xx

Hi all,

I got my peak fertility this morning on the CB.
It's a bit frustrating as my partner is away on a work trip from today, the day I got my peak fertility on the CB 😢
We did try during my high fertility days a few days ago and last night at about midnight (I got my peak this morning at around half six)

I'm actually quite frustrated this has happened!

What do you think? Xx