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Original poster

TTC after stillbirth - 2WW test at 8 dpo?

31 replies

missunderstoodd · 17/02/2022 15:59

Hello,

Currently TTC after a heartbreaking stillbirth end of 2021. I have two questions as I am in the 2WW and friends are inviting me for a night out tomorrow. Currently 7dpo and past 2 cycles have been 25-27 days (shortest I've had).

  • is 8dpo to early to test?
  • anyone else have experience with conceiving after a stillbirth? How long did it take? I was 24 weeks.

With my first baby I got a positive at 7 dpo and trying so hard not to symptom spot and I am scared to test 😅

OP posts:
emma1103 · 17/02/2022 16:18

I haven't conceived yet, but im trying. My son was stillborn in November. I started trying again end of December, and so far I've had 2 unsuccessful cycles. Very frustrating as ive fallen pregnant 1st time every time before (3 pregnancies, one living daughter, a chemical pregnancy and my stillborn son).

I hope it happens soon for us both. Can i ask, do you know why you lost your baby? I've been told i should be getting my consultant review in the next few weeks. X

Original poster
missunderstoodd · 17/02/2022 16:51

@emma1103

I haven't conceived yet, but im trying. My son was stillborn in November. I started trying again end of December, and so far I've had 2 unsuccessful cycles. Very frustrating as ive fallen pregnant 1st time every time before (3 pregnancies, one living daughter, a chemical pregnancy and my stillborn son).

I hope it happens soon for us both. Can i ask, do you know why you lost your baby? I've been told i should be getting my consultant review in the next few weeks. X

@emma1103 thank you so much and sorry to hear about your son x

Mine was also in November and was so desperate to try again right away. Me and my
partner agreed from February so this is the first month trying although we only DTD 2-3 times around fertile week because he was sick.

I am yet to have a follow up to find out why it happened, they also took a sample of the baby's blood for genetic testing. Very disappointed that I haven't had an appointment yet as I was told 6-10 weeks postpartum.

Fingers crossed for us both x

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Sunshinemom · 17/02/2022 19:35

I’m also TTC after my daughter was stillborn in October. I’m on my third month and finding it so hard. My periods have been so light and ovulation really late 20 and 25. Im really trying to be positive but it’s just all so heartbreaking. It’s nice (not that we are all in the same situation nice) to find people in the same situation as me. Wishing you lots of love and luck x

Original poster
missunderstoodd · 17/02/2022 20:03

@Sunshinemom so sorry to hear about your baby girl x

My periods have been really light too! In January I only had spotting for 3 days and thought I might've mysteriously conceived... My cycle has also got shorter by about 10 days which I'm not mad at.

I k ow exactly what you mean,It's so reassuring to know that we aren't going though the TTC journey alone after such a sad situation.

My cousin who is also like a sister to me just had her baby and our due dates were 2 days apart. I've just gone to see him and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

Have you heard anything from the hospital since? Did you get the go ahead to try again?I feel forgotten about but TTC anyways as I feel my body wouldn't allow it to happen if it wasn't ready or if it is risky x

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Sunshinemom · 17/02/2022 20:26

That’s exactly what I thought this month. My temps have stayed up and so I thought it could be implantation bleeding. I don’t know about you but I just don’t want to try I just want to be pregnant. The whole waiting and then the actual pregnancy, I’m just not sure I can do it.
Yes, I was high risk anyway but they know what happened so I’ll have extra tests and will need to take aspirin.

How are you both feeling? I’m really sorry for your losses. I found new year so hard and I’ve been ok but the last few weeks I just feel so lost again. It’s like the raw pain I felt at first gave some relief but now I just don’t know how to get through.

Well done on seeing your cousins baby, I’m not sure I could have done that Xxx

Boohoowhoareyou · 17/02/2022 20:39

I'm so sorry for your losses. My rainbow baby is now here and doing very well. Getting pregnant again was hard. But being pregnant again was almost unbearable. Like each of you we tried again straight away. Be as kind to yourselves as you can be. Now and during pregnancy. Sending hugs

emma1103 · 17/02/2022 20:53

As clichéd as it sounds, my greif comes in waves. I went through a few weeks where i felt better, not good, but better than i had been. Now i feel like im spiralling again and back to crying every day. When i got my period on Saturday, i spent most of my day crying, because im just so desperate to be pregnant again.

My post mortem results are back at the hospital, but i haven't got my appointment yet. I know we probably should have waited to start trying, but it was the only thing i had to keep me going. Im convinced they have found a reason, we had problems since our 12 week scan. I just really hope its not gentic.

LovelyQuiche · 17/02/2022 20:57

Stillbirth Sept 20 at 31 weeks. Got pregnant again in November, miscarried Jan 21 at 9 weeks. Pregnant again March 2021, beautiful baby girl born Dec 21.

Best of luck to you OP and the other posters up thread x

Sunshinemom · 17/02/2022 20:59

@Boohoowhoareyou congratulations on your rainbow. Can I ask how long it took you to fall again. Did you have light periods when they came back?

Did you enjoy the pregnancy at all? Did you get extra scans? I feel like I could ask you a billion questions! X

Boohoowhoareyou · 17/02/2022 21:28

Thank you @Sunshinemom. We feel very lucky. I literally had one period then did ivf had a miscarriage and one period again then that pregnancy led to a live birth. From memory I think the period was fairly normal. As it has been since my last pregnancy.
In terms of the pregnancy- it was bloody hard. In a 'normal' pregnancy your stress levels go down after the first trimester. Mine ramped up the more pregnant I got. I had a lot of scans on the nhs and private. Around the gestation of loss they increased scans to twice a week. A big part of that was to look at the flow from the cord. Measurement scans were increased to every two weeks (closest they can do), this identified a potential growth stall, very small amount, the consultant arranged a c section for the next day, just to be on the safe side.
Advice- push, push, push for what you want. If you have any concerns then knock on doors.
Find a local pregnancy after loss support group or form one now with the people on here. I felt like I couldn't go to nct etc. plus, people with our experience get it. I had lots of support and sharing of fears and hopes x

Cakelover17 · 17/02/2022 23:15

My baby was stillborn at 36 weeks in the April (a few years ago now) and we started TTC as soon as the bleeding stopped around 10 weeks after, and DD was conceived in the October. It took us much less time to conceive our other pregnancies. I got faint positives from around 10dpo. Good luck OP, and sorry for your loss Flowers

Original poster
missunderstoodd · 18/02/2022 00:09

@Sunshinemom as well as grieving the loss of my baby I also was upset at the thought of having to try for another baby because I was no longer pregnant ☹️

This year has been so rocky. I started counselling in January which felt very helpful at the start, recently I have been crying through the sessions and have asked for more as I feel it helps with processing my emotions as well as a space to cry. Have you signed up for any counselling?

I'm going to test in the morning because I'm going out later in the evening so want to know if I should drink or not. I can't want to be pregnant and thriving this summer 😢

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Original poster
missunderstoodd · 18/02/2022 00:15

@Boohoowhoareyou thank you so much for the lovely message x

So happy you have your rainbow baby!

I'm trying to not let the TTC process upset me too much. What really upset me was waiting to TTC as my partner wasn't ready yet but we are now both on the same path.

Just taking it one step at a time as I haven't thought too much about the anxiety of actually being pregnant yet. Hoping to get all the scans and checks I am allowed! X

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Original poster
missunderstoodd · 18/02/2022 00:22

I feel you @emma1103 not a day goes by we're I don't think about baby but each day the grieving process is different.

The first actual period was the worst for me as I was able to start DTD fairly quickly after the birth and just felt like there was a chance I could've fallen pregnant straight away even tho we were still vary carefully about it.

I've got everything crossed for you that your results come back with the all clear to try again without any genetic risks x

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Original poster
missunderstoodd · 18/02/2022 00:28

@LovelyQuiche I can't imagine the hurt after 2 losses, I'm so sorry you had to go though that x

How was your pregnancy with your baby girl? I can't imagine the anxiety ☹️ did you get the extra attention you deserved?

So happy you were able to finally have your baby in your arms, she must be so spoilt!

Thank you for the lovely words

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Original poster
missunderstoodd · 18/02/2022 00:39

Thank you for the reply @Cakelover17 and so sorry to hear about your baby.

The bereavement midwife told me it would be much quicker to fall pregnant after giving birth but I know that is not always the case.

Testing in the morning at 8/9 dpo so fingers crossed.

Thank you for the lovely message x

OP posts:
Sunshinemom · 18/02/2022 06:33

@missunderstoodd good luck for your testing this morning xxx

Original poster
missunderstoodd · 18/02/2022 15:12

@Sunshinemom as I thought the test was negative ☹️ looking forward to having a well needed night out without worrying x

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Sunshinemom · 18/02/2022 15:28

Aww I’m sorry. I’m determined that this is my month!!!! I’ve started with the opks already and it’s going to happen. I’m in such a bad mood about it all.
Enjoy your night out!!! Party like it’s your last 😉 xx

Original poster
missunderstoodd · 18/02/2022 18:00

@Sunshinemom thank you so much! Wishing you the best of luck x

I haven't tried OPKs properly I just go by my app and ovulation dates from previous periods. If things don't work out for me next month I think I'll give them a go.

Hopefully we can keep each other updated as I'm just waiting on AF now which is due early next week

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Sunshinemom · 23/02/2022 20:53

Hey, how’s it all going for everyone? I’m tracking using opks like crazy this month.

Just wondering if anyone has any insight on ovulation after a loss. Mine have been so late and I’m wondering if they will stay that way for a while. X

Running365 · 23/02/2022 21:04

So sad and sorry to hear about your losses and hope that there is brightness in the months to come for all of you, and thanks to those that have shared their stories of conceiving and pregnancies after loss.
Our DS2 was born prematurely (28 weeks) and died in NICU after 72 hours in December 2020. We were advised to wait a year before TTC after a very rigorous c section. It's been the hardest year waiting. We felt ready a few weeks ago to start trying and on cycle 1 now, and in TWW. With both DS1 (he's nearly 3 and a half) and DS2 we fell pregnant very quickly (second and first cycle) so now I feel like I'm putting so much pressure on myself and already feel like my body will be failing us again if it doesn't happen this month or next. I just want to bring a living sibling home but feel like the journey has barely even begun despite conceiving DS2 nearly 2 years ago.

Sunshinemom · 24/02/2022 07:32

I’m sorry to hear about your little boy. I can’t imagine how hard it was to wait a year to try again. Did you find out why your ds2 was born prematurely? I’m manic right now so I’m not sure I’m the right person to talk too but at least you know you’re not the only one finding it hard x

Original poster
missunderstoodd · 24/02/2022 19:02

@Sunshinemom

Hey, how’s it all going for everyone? I’m tracking using opks like crazy this month.

Just wondering if anyone has any insight on ovulation after a loss. Mine have been so late and I’m wondering if they will stay that way for a while. X

Hey @Sunshinemom I haven't ever kept up with OPKs 😭 cycles seem to be shorter after the birth but then again I can't confirm I have actually ovulated. I hope someone can help you out with your question x

Still waiting for AF to show after testing negative last week, think I might test tomorrow or sat if af doesn't come as I'm going out again!

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Original poster
missunderstoodd · 24/02/2022 19:09

Hi @Running365 thank you for sharing your story and so sorry to hear about your loss x

It must be so hard to wait a whole year to TTC again and I'm hoping to get the same luck you have had with your previous pregnancies.

This is my first cycle TTC too and I got myself so upset and anxious at the start from feeling like I didn't DTD enough to wishing I understood my cycle better. Keeping busy has certainty helps and I have just booked a holiday to Dubai to take my mind off of things. I hope the anxiety doesn't come back next cycle 😢

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