Support thread for anyone TTC and stuggling emotionaly💖

[whymewhyme]

Hi👋

I thought I'd make a thread for anyone, like myself who is TTC and it's emotionally taking it's toll. Feel free to moan, vent, share good news or just offload.

I'd like this space to he helpfull and supportive with zero judgment. 💕💕💕

I will go first...

I'm 37 TTC #2 tryed for 6 months got pregnant and MC at 8 weeks fast forward and were another 12 months down the line (18 months all together) and were still not pregnant. AF arrived yesterday and I've been a emotional mess! I'm sick to death of it all and i'm ready to give. I'm fed up of being alone with it and i find it all really draining and if one more person tells me to RELAX I'm going to

Hi @whymewhyme,

Thanks for starting this thread, think it’s a great idea ☺️ I’m finding TTC so so exhausting! It’d be lovely to have some people to talk too/vent too

Little bit about me. I’m 31 trying for #2 since July last year. I got pregnant with twins after a few months but ended up have a MMC at 10 weeks. Got pregnant again in January but that ended with an early loss at 5 weeks. Feeling really disheartened by everything. I’m in the TWW now and it’s hard! Ha yeah nothing about this is relaxing 🤦🏻‍♀️

@whymewhyme so sorry for your losses and that AF arrived for you 💐 it’s a horrible time

Please can I join, an old crone of 40. DC1 took 8 cycles but only 5 really (DP will not dance to my timing tune!). TTC DC2, currently in my fourth TWW. Had a chemical in early December and just learned my sister is pregnant and due exactly when I would have been. So her announcement and milestones basically tally with exactly what my life would have been, which is a regular old kick in the teeth.

Feel tearful and anxious a lot of the time. Have not quite reached peak crazy, I’m only googling fertility spells and womb healing circles, not actually doing them. Spending a fortune on vitamins, including soy isoflavones which I abandoned after the throwing them up in the shower

Hiya @whymewhyme im sorry to hear of your MC, and AF got you yesterday :( I know the frustration all too well! The whole "relax" advise is the worst ever when your ttc isn't it?

@Hello47 im sorry of your MC's too, how awful for you :( sending you tons of baby dust on your current TWW 🤞🏻 the best thing I try to tell myself when I'm in a TWW is that you have done all you can now - although symptom spotting is a pain in the arse 🤦🏻‍♀️

A little background from me, because I'm right there with you guys. I'm 28, my DH and I have 2 little ones and are ttc no.3! We started ttc January 2021 however I suffer from infertility and don't ovulate. I'm struggling with horrible horrifc periods at the moment (last year I had a period that lasted 12 weeks continuously) and I'm charting my bbt which of course confirms anovulatory cycles.

I'm finding it the most frustrating because I'm having zero chance to conceive, and I am constantly fighting between giving up and carrying on.

It took us 5yrs to conceive our first child, 3 months to conceive our second. (We needed medicine assistance)

Apart of me is thinking that maybe I'm only supposed to have two. Which of course I feel so blessed to have, but I cannot get rid of the brooding and feeling like we are not done yet.

Good luck to you both 🎆🤞🏻

@Hello47

Hi *@whymewhyme*,

Thanks for starting this thread, think it’s a great idea ☺️ I’m finding TTC so so exhausting! It’d be lovely to have some people to talk too/vent too

Little bit about me. I’m 31 trying for #2 since July last year. I got pregnant with twins after a few months but ended up have a MMC at 10 weeks. Got pregnant again in January but that ended with an early loss at 5 weeks. Feeling really disheartened by everything. I’m in the TWW now and it’s hard! Ha yeah nothing about this is relaxing 🤦🏻‍♀️

Gosh, you've been through alot! So sorry 😞 ttc is so difficult and utterly draining.
Also the tww is the worsed, every single day drags, i feel like it's a emotional roller coaster. Some day's I can handle it and others i just can't and today is one of those days for me!!

@stuntbubbles

Please can I join, an old crone of 40. DC1 took 8 cycles but only 5 really (DP will not dance to my timing tune!). TTC DC2, currently in my fourth TWW. Had a chemical in early December and just learned my sister is pregnant and due exactly when I would have been. So her announcement and milestones basically tally with exactly what my life would have been, which is a regular old kick in the teeth.

Feel tearful and anxious a lot of the time. Have not quite reached peak crazy, I’m only googling fertility spells and womb healing circles, not actually doing them. Spending a fortune on vitamins, including soy isoflavones which I abandoned after the throwing them up in the shower

Ofcourse🥰 give over your not a old crone at 40!!!

Oh dear that really is bad timing with your sister i bet you feel really conflicted, happy for her but sad for yourself.

Reading your post made me laugh at the end, i too have googled spells and crystals for fertility... welcome to the crazy club lol

@*Mrsbmama,
I'm so sorry your going through infertility, are you having any help off the doctors?

I would love to join. We have juts started trying for baby number 2. Trying not to get super stressed this time but that's always easier said!

@Shedgal

I would love to join. We have juts started trying for baby number 2. Trying not to get super stressed this time but that's always easier said!

Hi 👋

Good luck with no2, i think ttc and stress go hand in hand 🤣 deep breaths...you got this!

Hello everyone. @whymewhyme thanks for starting this thread. I also think it’s a great idea. I’ve been really absent from mumsnet for quite a while now as I’ve totally lost all hope and joy of this entire process. However, I’m definitely feeling a need to have some people to chat with again who are in a similar boat. Everyone in the last thread I was on has now had a baby.
I’m sorry to hear a few of you had some losses. It’s such an emotional journey. Have you all got a good support network in your partner and friends?

A little about me. I am 37 and trying for baby number 1. I’ve been trying since July 2019. In June 2020 I had a very traumatic ectopic pregnancy and was rushed into surgery with a ruptured right Fallopian tube which was removed. In the year we were trying it was the only positive test we had and since we have not had a whiff of a positive. My cycle was out of whack for a long time, my covid vaccine also knocked my cycle off. We started looking into fertility consultation in March last year and have discovered I don’t ovulate every month and my partner has a low sperm count. My BMI is too high for IVF and I am currently trying to lose weight to move forward with IVF abroad. I had lost all drive for testing and sticks and BBT charting but I feel I’m coming back round to getting back into that again.

Hope it's ok to join this thread.
I'm 33, already have one DS (19 months). Took four years, a MMC, secondary infertility and icsi to have him. We've been trying again since November but as DH has issues with sperm motility, we know our chances are really really low every month. It's draining and it makes me sad but I am so very grateful for DS.

We're due to get sperm results back this week so here's hoping the three months of vitamins he was put on has helped 😅

@Opus17 I totally understand how you feel in the thoughts that your chances are low every month. I really hope it’s good news from your results this week.
Do you mind me asking what vitamins your partner was put on?

@Positivity2019 orthomol fertil plus they are called. He was told to take them for 3 months and retest.

Also sorry to read everyone's stories 😓 TTC can be so upsetting for many of us

Please can I join, I’m feeling so low and really struggling.
TTC baby number 2. I had a MC at 17 weeks at the start of Jan. I was using OPKs after I finished bleeding and got a peak last Monday. However AF showed up yesterday, over a week early. So not only am I sad that I haven’t conceived again yet, I’m worried that something has gone wrong with me for my period to come only 1 week after ovulation. I’ve been so depressed today I took the day off work. I just don’t know how I’ll ever feel ok again, until I get pregnant. Im so desperate for it to happen it’s all I can think about. And I’m still grieving my loss as well. So I feel doubly shit.

@Opus17 thanks for the info, may look into it. He takes Pregnacare conception for men, Vitamin B12 I think, tumeric and Ashwagandha (probably spelt that wrong 😂) Who knows if it helps.

@whymewhyme thank you so much for starting this thread!

Hi and nice to meet you, everyone!

I'm doing ivf as a smbc, had 1 bad experience and currently talking with my new clinic.

Right now I have conflicted feelings... Clinic 2 (new one), was my top choice from the start, I did extensive research for months, I collected data had spreadsheets and all, and because of omicron, my family felt uncertain letting me travel alone to another country to get my treatment and they persuaded me to stay in Spain and have a try here, which turned out to be a bad - traumatic experience.

And now, I don't know if I can trust myself with these big decisions! If I did what I wanted to do maybe I would be pregnant atm, but on the other hand why did I change my mind so easily? How am I going to do this alone? But I'm wondering at the same time, "It's better to do it alone and never listen to anyone else, I knew better!"

I am sorry for the rant, and thank you if you managed to read my venting...

@Positivity2019 Fingers crossed they make a difference for you! We'll find out tomorrow 😬

@whymewhyme

Nice to see a thread where lots of people are ttc there second. And it not being smooth sailing. Sometimes you feel on your own even though so many other women are going through it.

Been TTC 2nd DC since June 2021 so 9 month now and on cycle 11. Have wanted a second DC for a very long time but couldn’t ttc due to health issues and now I feel the gap getting bigger and bigger. And cry when my DD tells me she’s lonely and wants someone to play with 😫

Emotionally I am finding it draining. And can’t understand why we haven’t fallen at all yet.

Bloods confirmed all okay for me. Awaiting on SA results back. But other than that I’m none the wiser.

I’ve felt so anxious the last cycle. It cannot help. But it’s so hard to control as it’s just an darkness of unknown and uncertainty.

So sorry to hear of so many of you losing you pregnancies. I mc my first before I got my DD at 13 weeks. And the thought of going through anything like that after ttc for a year and finally getting a BFP fills me with absolutely dread. Don’t think I have it in me!

I have had such an awful day today. I’ve been a total mess at work, getting upset constantly throughout the day. My manger and one of my colleagues have made me feel even worse. I feel utterly humiliated. I want to ask my manager tomorrow if I can either work from home to see if that helps, or I’m going to consider getting my gp to sign me off, as I am not coping at all. But how can I open up and have a conversation about this with someone who makes me feel like they don’t care at all. I feel so pathetic.

@PamelaDoov I’m so sorry your feeling like this. I lost my first pregnancy at 13 weeks. And it took 6/7 months to fall pregnant again. It was awful. I was depressed and grieving. And it was THE worst time ever.

Take care of yourself. It’s okay to feel how you feel. And if you need it take time off work. You need time to grieve and heal. It truly is awful.

But I promise you. Once you get pregnant again and get your baby. The pain does fade away. But in the moment it’s so tough. And pushes you to your limits.

Your stronger than you know. Keep pushing on. Sending hugs x

@PamelaDoov So sorry to hear you've had an awful day. It's perfectly normal to feel like this, it's still recent and you're grieving your little one.
The irregular cycles right now are also normal and it might take a few months for them to regulate again. I had a MMC in 2017 and also had a couple of shortened lps afterwards, I still remember it as I too was very upset with this but it regulated again.
Take care of yourself, be sad and ask to work from home for a little bit to have some time away from your colleagues

@Indianna2006 thank you x I feel like I’ll never be over it until I’m pregnant again. I feel so bad feeling like this because I have 1 year old son who is the light of my life, but I just miss my baby boy so much and wish he was still here inside me, growing strong.
I feel so depressed right now but I don’t want to let anyone down.

@PamelaDoov You have not let anyone down, I promise. You’ve been through a terrible loss and it’s OK to grieve. I’m sorry you’ve had such a shite day.

@PamelaDoov I’m so sorry to hear you’ve have a sad day today. It may well be the right thing to get signed off for a while, if you’re in a position to do so. Did you take much time off after your loss?
You’re not alone having those desperate feelings. I think the want of a baby is the most intense feelings I’ve ever experienced. It is all consuming. I’ve definitely had to leave work in the middle of the work day because I’ve become so overcome with emotion and can’t stop crying. You’ve feelings are totally valid and it’s sad that you’re work are not more understanding. X