Support thread for anyone TTC and stuggling emotionaly💖

[whymewhyme]

Hi👋

I thought I'd make a thread for anyone, like myself who is TTC and it's emotionally taking it's toll. Feel free to moan, vent, share good news or just offload.

I'd like this space to he helpfull and supportive with zero judgment. 💕💕💕

Sending love to everyone on here

I had 8 miscarriages before my daughter was born so I feel your pain 💔

Stay strong everyone I know it's hard x

So glad I saw this thread and others in the same boat as me.

My partner and I are trying for baby #2 but it seems less and less likely each month. We caught with our son on our 3rd try. Technically we did get pregnant at the 2nd try, but had a miscarriage in the first trimester. So I guess we were a bit too hopeful that we would catch rather quickly this time as well. But no.

I've taken a test today, negative, and I wonder why I bothered when I've been cramping. But my mind is always going out of its way to be hopeful. 'maybe its implantation? its too early for my period after all' 'maybe I took it too early!'. Then get incredibly upset whenever I start my period, which should be any day now. I keep telling myself whenever I do tests these days that it'll be negative so I'm not as disappointed, but it never works. I'm more of a mess as each month goes by.

Each month has been harder and harder to deal with. Yet at the same time I feel I shouldn't be ALLOWED to be this upset. I've already been told that I need to just appreciate the son I have - as if I don't every day. That I already had a baby so why should I care if I don't have another. That I don't have a right to be upset/complain. I guess I don't, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

I wish I could go back to the days when I was just always in the moment with my son, when I'm not looking at the families/friends around me with their babies and be panged with longing and pain.

I've tried various apps, ovulation strips, lubrications, I've been taking folic acid for almost a year now. I don't know what else to do. I can tell it's starting to affect my partner as well now.

Our son is nearly three and we hoped to at least be pregnant by now. If I had known it would take this long I would have started much earlier. I'm having to contemplate life without any more children despite my partner and I always wishing for 2.

I just feel there's a huge piece missing, and I think we're all feeling that right now.
I'm just feeling an absolute failure. To my partner, my son, my parents (who have always said about grandchildREN) and to myself. If I cant even get pregnant, what else am I doing wrong in their eyes?

Bad news for us this morning. His results are even worse! Urologist said these vitamins help with some men, not all. So clearly not a case for DH. Icsi is our only option.
We are fortunate to live in an EU country where icsi is easily accessible and not very expensive (health insurance pays half and state subsidises us a further 1100 euros) but as many of you who have done IVF/icsi before, it's not only about money.
We've had a chat. We've agreed on two rounds of icsi. Need to decide whether we do the first this autumn or wait until next January. The second would be around April 2023. It both fail, then we're going to accept life as a family of three as I don't want to spend years going after a second and essentially missing out on DS' life (as for me, these things tend to consume me).
I also don't want a big age gap and I'd rather do it all this side of 35 (nothing against or wrong though doing it older...it's just my own personal preference!).

Hi eveyone, I've been mia for a few days just felt really shit and stressed for a few days, been in agony with this months AF and still got pains now even though its finished.

I've read through every ones posts and my god what a bunch of incredible woman you are!!!!

So glad i stared the thread and we all have a place to really say exactly how we feel insted of pretending that we are ok and everything is hunky dory 😎

VixenandCub*

God i could of writen your post, i feel EXACTLY the same as you!! My god the guilt is heart breaking, everyday my DC tells me he's lonely and asks daily when will he have a baby brother. Im sick of people making me feel like crap cuz " at least you already have a child" i just want to tell them to piss off!

@Opus17

Bad news for us this morning. His results are even worse! Urologist said these vitamins help with some men, not all. So clearly not a case for DH. Icsi is our only option. We are fortunate to live in an EU country where icsi is easily accessible and not very expensive (health insurance pays half and state subsidises us a further 1100 euros) but as many of you who have done IVF/icsi before, it's not only about money. We've had a chat. We've agreed on two rounds of icsi. Need to decide whether we do the first this autumn or wait until next January. The second would be around April 2023. It both fail, then we're going to accept life as a family of three as I don't want to spend years going after a second and essentially missing out on DS' life (as for me, these things tend to consume me). I also don't want a big age gap and I'd rather do it all this side of 35 (nothing against or wrong though doing it older...it's just my own personal preference!).

I'm sorry about your DH results, what a shame but its good to hear you have options with icis. Try not to put a time frame on it, i told myself I'd be done by 36 and its not worked out that way, it just adds pressure i think!

@whymewhyme

This thread is a great idea, it's nice to be able to vent to people who understand how I feel instead of giving the same "it'll happen" "just relax" bullcrap.
I think what makes me feel worse is I'm only 28. I wanted to have both my kids before 30 - just the plan my partner and I have had/comfortable with. I should be in my prime. Which makes me worry all the more it's something more serious. We're allowed to see a doctor from May, so that's the plan. Going to talk to a pharmacist tomorrow in the meantime if there's any extra vitamins partner and I can take. Literally the last thing we can try on our own.

@whymewhyme I'd love to join the thread and am feeling all the feelings people are mentioning. We are TTC no.2 and onto cycle 8. I'm on cycle day 2 so have shed all the tears until next month 😩

We found out DH has low motility a few weeks ago which came as a huge shock as DD was conceived first try over 3 years ago. He's now on various supplements and we are booked to see a specialist in a few weeks time. Hate the waiting game and hate the constant 'when is no.2 coming' questions. Really hoping for a BFP before 2023 🤞🏼

Hi everyone, was reading through and hoping I could join your thread!

I am currently in my 2ww... previously had 4 mc's, no children yet. Had surgery in October to remove a subseptate septum in my uterus and also god diagnosed with an autoimmune condition. Really hoping this will happy for us all! Xx

Now my body is just teasing me. Two days late for my period yet there's 3 negative tests. If my body is going to completely fail on me the least it can do is just end this cycle already... So frustrating.

Hi ladies, hope it’s ok if I join. I’ve been ttc #2 for almost a year. Knew I had endometriosis and adenomyosis although I was lucky enough to conceive naturally a few years ago and have a wonderful daughter. Went for another endo surgery a few months ago and an unexpected giant uterine polyp was found and removed. I had no idea it was there and have been in so much pain with the endo and adeno, also really bad ovulation pain which makes dtd tough but I push through anyway. Guess I’m just tired of all of this, ttc should be a fun and exciting time and at this point I’m just drained of it all. Sending love to everyone else stressed out by all of this. It’s just awful praying for a positive test and it not happening. Trying to be positive this month and remind myself the endo and polyp have been removed so fingers crossed nothing preventing conception now x

Hi all, I would please like to join you amazing ladies. I have read through every post and just think god, is all this stress worth it!? Obviously, it is but I don’t think people appreciate the mental stress TTC takes on women.

I am trying for number 2 and have been for 6 months. I do appreciate I have one but I don’t think any of my friends get that the urge to have a second one is very strong and all this is upsetting.

Sex has been a bit project managed, which doesn’t really increase the romance! I think I need to chill out and wait till the 12 month mark.

Anyway rant over, thanks for reading 😂

It's just so mentally draining, im sick of people saying well at least you've got one dc, I am very greatfull but it doesn't make it any easier. I'm sorry that were all finding it draining weather were ttc our first or 4th dc.

You know the anxious feeling during the ttw, well i feel like that every single day!

I'm trying to get positive for another month but honestly, i just cant be arsed at all. Ttc has made it such a chore and its made me hate sex which is impacting dh. I want to be less regimented with sex and as every bloody person tells me " relax and enjoy it" ffs.

@Gnomechange

Hi all, I would please like to join you amazing ladies. I have read through every post and just think god, is all this stress worth it!? Obviously, it is but I don’t think people appreciate the mental stress TTC takes on women.

I am trying for number 2 and have been for 6 months. I do appreciate I have one but I don’t think any of my friends get that the urge to have a second one is very strong and all this is upsetting.

Sex has been a bit project managed, which doesn’t really increase the romance! I think I need to chill out and wait till the 12 month mark.

Anyway rant over, thanks for reading 😂

Some people just don't get it or care its so frustrating 😒
My friends dont get why im so consumed and upsett because they have all got pg within a few cycles. Makes me laugh how they are like " oooh i hate the ttw its awfull" and im thinking you only did it twice, how can you possibly know.....I'm 18 months into this! When i say that i just get the convasation changed! So annoying!!

@Endomummy

Hi ladies, hope it’s ok if I join. I’ve been ttc #2 for almost a year. Knew I had endometriosis and adenomyosis although I was lucky enough to conceive naturally a few years ago and have a wonderful daughter. Went for another endo surgery a few months ago and an unexpected giant uterine polyp was found and removed. I had no idea it was there and have been in so much pain with the endo and adeno, also really bad ovulation pain which makes dtd tough but I push through anyway. Guess I’m just tired of all of this, ttc should be a fun and exciting time and at this point I’m just drained of it all. Sending love to everyone else stressed out by all of this. It’s just awful praying for a positive test and it not happening. Trying to be positive this month and remind myself the endo and polyp have been removed so fingers crossed nothing preventing conception now x

Sending lots of positive baby vibes your way xx

Can someone help me, how do you hight peoples user names? So i dont have to keep quoting everyone...im useless lol

@whymewhyme

You should be able to use the @ symbol and the names should come down in a list. You can start typing the name out to help narrow it down ☺️

So I'm back on the ttw hows everyone getting on?

@whymewhyme
Going to the pharmacy to see if there's any point in partner and I trying some supplements to see if that helps us at all. Since we've tried everything else and can't quite go to the doctor's yet. So that's where we're at...limbo basically. Noticed some white roots in my hair the last few weeks; stress related. "Just relax!" yeah right....

@whymewhyme thank you lovely! I’m also in the TWW but only managed dtd 4 days before ovulation so I’m not feeling very hopeful… feels like a wasted month and a bit gutted to be honest. But on the positive side I won’t feel the same disappointment as timing it right and then not getting a BFP. Where are you in the TWW? I’m 5DPO so quite a while to wait.

@VixenAndCub what supplements did you get? Aside from the usual folic acid I’ve been taking coq10 for months (meant to improve egg quality), vit D and vit E. and zinc but not every day.

Fingers crossed we get some BFPs on this thread in the near future and give each other some hope and positive vibes!xxx

@Endomummy
Haven't got any yet, we're going to go as soon as my partner's work gives him a break so we can go together and ask, since he wants to know if they even work and what he can take. But I'll keep those you listed in mind! I'm only in folic acid at the moment.

Hi everyone! How have you been doing? I've been trying to deal with a co-worker's pregnancy announcement, and at the same time try to focus on my ivf in 2 weeks.

@VixenAndCub it's possibly the most annoying advice "just relax" oh or the passive aggressive version of it "you're just too uptight" pff!

Hi everyone, how are we all doing? I'm due on AF in 4 days and I can already tell I'm coming on!

Hey! I’m doing good… I was obsessively testing before AF arrived but she came bang on time in the end… was really disappointed but now on CD5 so just waiting for the window to open so I can crack on this month how are you doing? Do you usually cramp before AF? I do and had awful ones leading up to it. I always get that but the month I conceived DD I had horrific implantation cramps. I vividly remember being doubled over and taking my prescription painkillers thinking it was the usual pre period endo flare. It’s so frustrating that all the symptoms overlap whether PG or AF coming!

Well I'm back and AF arrived right on time im so pissed off, every single month is just awful. I honestly can't keep this up much longer at all!