TTC

[Goldengoose6491]

Hi everyone.

Apart from OH I don't have anyone to talk to about our fertility journey and it occured to me that isnt helping with my anxiety around the subject which is why I am reaching out here for any support. I'm not looking for a diagnosis just a handhold and someone to talk to.

To tell you a little about myself. I'm 30 and my partner is 35 and we've been ttc for a year. I've always had regular cycles, blood tests showed borderline low AMH but OBGYN wasnt concerned, diagnosed with IBS and subclinical hypothyroidism (for which I'm taking levothyroxine to keep TSH low), OH sperm test came back fine, I have a HSG scheduled next week (which I am terrified about) and a MRI in March (looking for endo, again terrified), I've tried acupuncture three times and didnt find it was for me. I'm supplementing with maca powder and ashwaganda and taking the traditional fertility supplements. Also made lifestyle changes like exercising more (mainly yoga), healthy eating, lots of sleep, no toxic skincare, household products oh and the pillow under the bum after the horizontal tango. BBT tracking seems to show typical ovulation. Im trying seed cycling but its difficult.

As I'm sure you know its hard not to become obsessive. especially when you dont fall into the 84% who concieve within a year. I never thought it would be a problem and its wreaking havoc with my nerves.

Thanks for reading

Hi @Goldengoose6491 and welcome! You're right, it's an incredible lonely journey, I'm glad sites like these exist and we can connect virtually.
You know they say it's perfectly normal for healthy couples to TTC for a year before they end up pregnant, but it's frustrating.
I think everyone who is TTC for a while knows that the chances each month of conceiving are only around 30%, even if "done perfectly" as in timing etc.
From what you're writing I'd say you do everything you can.
There are several threads here you can join, some for everyone TTC over 12 months for example. Either way, I'm crossing my fingers that this is your month - because why not?

Thanks @Bundaberg84. I will familiarise myself with those threads you mention. Exactly why not! Im writing this with AF cramps but feeling determined to stay on track and look after myself.

Hi @Goldengoose6491, sorry you're having a tough time. Ttc is such a lonely time isn't it, especially when your journey is longer than you'd hoped. But you're not alone, there's plenty on here unfortunately in the same boat to talk to and support each other!

Do you mind if I join you? We're just over a year into properly tying but I haven't been on any contraception for about 5 years thinking if it happens then it happens and we'd be over the moon, unfortunate it didn't. I've been pregnant twice, one early miscarriage a few years ago and we had to tfmr in September at 12 weeks as our little one was very poorly. To finally get to 12 week scan and then lose her was the worst thing I've ever been through 😞

We're now month 3 of ttc again and I'm 13dpo today but bfns so far this month so I'm not feeling very hopeful!

I was going to ask my gp if they would start any tests on us but I've heard as I have conceived in that year even though it didn't have a happy ending that it resets the clock for investigation. Not sure if that's right or not, I may ask anyway as I'm getting desperate now!

Got my fingers crossed for you x

@Bellesjp Thanks so much for your message. Im so sorry for the sadness in your journey so far it can be so brutal.

Crossing my fingers for you too. I don't think it can hurt to ask for more testing. You have to be your own advocate in these cases I find, doctors like to dismiss you as much as possible. Im scared about my HSG but also excited as anecdotally many women conceive after this procedure...The more testing we do the more in control I feel too which helps with the sense of overwhelm which you so often feel with subfertility.

For me its the rollercoaster of hope and disappointment.every.single.month. that gets me down and that is lonely. I feel like if I tell my friends and family there will be more pressure and eyes on us - does that make sense?
x

Hi @Goldengoose6491 yes that totally makes sense about the added pressure of people knowing! I had only told one close friend when we started trying. However when we lost our little one in September I had to tell quite a few people including work, which I really didn't want to do but I was too upset and had to take some time off. I told my family and most of my friends what happened as I couldn't hide the grief I was going through. Naturally now they all know we are ttc so I feel a lot of added pressure and feel people try to find out if I'm pregnant yet which is rubbish!

Good luck for your HSG, I've actually as well about that improving fertility so fingers crossed for you 🤞🏼 really get what you mean about the rollercoaster, one min I'm feeling positive then the next I'm crying over yet another bfn! Got 3 friends who are pregnant and due soon so that doesn't help!

When is af due for you? X

Hello ladies.
Would love to join for some support. We have been trying for about 9 months now and this whole thing is really getting to me.
Im only only cycle day 4 and the past few days have been awful. I feel anxious most of the time and could cry at anything 😢 it's a very lonely journey especially when my best Pal is 3 months pregnant 🙈

Hopfully it'll soon be our time!x

@Goldengoose6491 I've just hit the year TTC mark and it sucks. Just wanted to reply as I had a HSG a couple of weeks ago and didn't find it too bad. Yes there were cramps but if you've ever had bad period pain it was the equivalent to that and over with very quickly. Mine found both my tubes were open, so it was another issue to be ruled out. At first I was happy to know it was all okay, but a few days later it upset me because I was thinking 'so what IS wrong with me then?!' I have also had AMH, blood tests and SA and so far everything is normal, so we're equally as confused and frustrated as you. Fingers crossed we get some answers soon.

@Bellesjp people trying to guess if youre pregnant and watching everything you drink and eat is the worst! I find myself snapping at well meaning comments too like "when will you start a family" and "don't wait too long!" I never know what to say its so personal....Two of my friends have had babies recently and one is pregnant again already I'm so happy for them but it does break my heart a little. I've tried to reframe the jealousy from thats what i dont have to thats what i will have one day.

AF is due 1st Feb. You?

@Arly90 I completely sympathise. I never ever thought it would take longer than a few months. You spend your whole adolescence being told you'll be pregnant if you even look at a boy and then when the time comes you wish it was that simple.

Its a long journey through the anxiety - all i can say is your feelings are totally valid. I find journalling very helpful when the feelings get overwhelming and exercise if you feel jittery. Cry if you need to and feel sad for as long as it takes it will pass. xx Fingers crossed and good vibes to everyone here. xx

@BritInNZ thank you so much for your message I really appreciate hearing from someone who has undergone an HSG. I know what you mean about the diagnosis though. It still leaves you hanging with no answers. Do you have any other tests scheduled?

Im living by the mantra Trust that this is the journey for you at the moment and it will all be worth it in the end. xx

Sorry 15th is AF is due 1st Feb is predicted ovulation date - two most important dates in the calendar!!

@Goldengoose6491 oh yes I hate that so much people guessing, we've had to tell oh's mum that we're not trying again yet as she kept asking!

You're right it WILL be us one day, I honestly do find it hard to be happy for pregnant friends but just got to remind myself that it will be my time soon 🤞🏼

I'm 14dpo today and had bfns so far so not looking likely but will hold on to a bit of hope!!

@Goldengoose6491 no worries! I'd recommend you stay away from googling too much so you go in not too worked up 😊

No other tests yet but got my next fertility appointment on 25 Jan so will go from there. I think next step is a laparoscopy but have a lot going on over the next few months so will follow that up once things are quieter.

@BritInNZ - I hope today went well for you?

@Goldengoose6491 ah so lovely of you to remember and ask!

Appointment was as expected - everything still looking good so officially diagnosed with unexplained infertility. I have been told to continue trying until may/June and if nothing has happened then, we should try a couple of rounds of IUI. Unfortunately with a diagnosis of unexplained infertility, we can't access public funding for IVF for 5 years (so another 4 years away). It's crazy but I guess I'm not ready to think about IVF yet anyway.

I'm still holding out hope that the HSG will help over the next few months so we'll see. AF due on Monday 31 Jan, and our wedding anniversary is 3 Feb and we're going away to do the Abel Tasman walk. I can't help hoping that I could have the best anniversary present ever... but also not wanting to get my hopes up 😢 how are you?

Oh the Abel Tasman walk looks wonderful! Fingers crossed on that anniversary present for you. Good that all the other tests look good. What lifestyle changes have you tried? I feel like I've tried everything under the sun. HSG tomorrow for me...

@Goldengoose6491 I haven't done any major lifestyle changes, just added vitamins and being more conscious of how much I'm drinking. After trying for a year I'm glad I didn't make any major changes as I'd be pretty miserable right now! What about you?

Ladies. I'm looking for some advice. My hubby and I DTD last night but I've just got my peak LH.
3 days in a row is alot for us so should we go again tonight or tomorrow night. don't think we will manage both nights 🙈 x

@Arly90 I think the official advice is every other day. But I reckon go with what feels right. You've got good chances either way.

So I had my HSG today and a nurse to hold my hand too as I was a bit nervous. All clear! So onwards and upwards. Reaching fertile window now which is always an exciting time. I have an MRI scheduled in March checking for endo but really hoping for BFP before then.

@BritInNZ nothing major, supplements, more exercise, less alcohol and coffee, trying meditation at the moment which has been wonderful actually makes you feel more in control and accepting of the journey

@Goldengoose6491 hope you don’t mind if I join! Ttc for a year, have just started process with the GP! I’m the same age as you, and DH is same as your partner too! Good luck!

@Peonies94 Welcome! The more the merrier. It's been really nice chatting to you all so far. Good luck Xx

Hello, I hope you don’t mind me posting on here…I’ve just taken a first response test and I don’t know if I am going completely crazy, but my brain keeps seeing a second line! Would any one mind taking a look and seeing what they think? Xx

@BettyM90 I see the shadow of something faintly but can’t tell of it has colour/is an indent! Do another tomorrow but sending you the best of luck! How many DPO are you?

@Peonies94 thank you for looking :) I didn’t know if I was staring at it for too long and going crazy! I have got another first response so will take that in the morning and see…that test wasn’t with FMU. I’m not too sure how many DPO I am as my cycles have been a little all over the place x

@BettyM90 yes do another either tomorrow or the next day! Best of luck! Those tests are terrible for indents, but I really hope it is something for you!