What are we doing wrong?!

[whymewhyme]

Honestly I'm so bloody down today and AF hasn't even arrived yet but its on it way!!

I do the clear blue digital ovulation testes, i eat right, dont drink much, take my vitamins. Have sex every other day leading up to ovulation and do it both days on the stil smiley days ( we even did it everyday the last two months) husbands had sperm anylised it's normal. yet we just can't get pregnant after the MC in march.

I just feel like theres somthing wrong but beacuse we have one child we can't get help yet, think we have another 14 months till i can have test's.

Please tell me what you're doing to get pregnant.

Ime good things
Greens /veg in general /fresh food not processed /lots of water /healthy weight
Bad things ime
Alcohol
Fizzy drinks
Tea /coffee
Lube
Conceived on 3rd cycle at 42

So sorry here this :( I can't think of anything I did that you aren't. I got pregnant after 8 months the first time, and 6 months the second time, but wasn't actively TTC just not using contraceptive. They were both MC's. The third time (currently 13weeks) I got pregnant 1st month TTC tracking ovulation using easy@home OPKs, but they wouldn't be any different to the clear blue ones, just a lot cheaper.

My weight would be in the healthy range, I don't drink very often, my main meals would all be home made and not processed bar the very occasional frozen pizza. I drink a lot of water. The last time I took boots own brand of pre conception vitamins. Honestly I wish I had an answer for you but the main thing I did to get pregnant quicker this time was tracking ovulation but you already do that so I don't know. Maybe do try the cheaper sticks, you can test 2 even 3 times a day as some womens LH surge is very short and you may be slightly missing it?

I feel your pain OP been TTC out first since March 2020 and nothing. Nada- not even a late period!

My partners sperm has been checked and all good and I've had every test imaginable and it's come back as unexplained infertility. Kills me a little bit more every month.

Currently waiting to start chlomid but NHS (through no fault of their own) are so slow at everything so don't know how much longer will have to wait.

Literally waiting for a miracle.

Big hugs to you darling- we got this!!

I'm also the same. TTC for over a year (lost count how many months now) and all tests are normal. We've made lifestyle changes, eat healthy, ok BMI, regular cycles, no heavy periods, pretty much text book stuff. Have been referred to fertility clinic since Aug last year, but still waiting to hear back due to long back logs. So we've decided to go private and the initial appointment is in a couple of weeks. Just hoping for a diagnosis and an action plan as it is frustrating! Especially when everyone around me seems to fall pregnant straightaway.

How long have you been trying for this child? How old are you? Most likely you are doing everything right.

GP can offer tests after 1 year if under 35yrs old, 6 months if over 35years. However, since you already have a child most NHS health boards cannot offer you any fertility help if issues are found.

You likely won't get fertility treatment on the NHS if any issues are found. Can you afford private fertility treatment? If so, you don't have to wait and would book in for an initial consultation with one of fertility docs in your area privately. You can have all the tests done privately without waiting.

I'm sorry you're going through this (I've been there). And I understand not everyone can afford private help.

You are not doing anything wrong!

@whymewhyme I soooooo feel this! Been trying since March, absolutely nothing. It's so awful. And I'm so sorry about your MC, that must make it extra hard. I wish I had any advice, I'm doing all the same stuff as you. This is a shot in the dark but other things you could try if you want (which clearly haven't worked for me but are apparently evidenced based!) are: 1 ferti Lily conception cup. 2. Pre seed lube. 3. SMEP (basically what you're doing except sex three days in a row when you get a static smilie, skip a day then sex again. But I've done all this and still nothing so clearly no guarantees. Best of luck to you.

Do you think there might be something out of balance for you- thyroid, vitamin d, iron etc. GP should be able to offer a blood test if you're feeling overly tired etc and have symptoms of some sort of deficiency.
Are you taking multivitamins?

It's so incredibly hard when stuff doesn't happen and I found trying to 'fix something' helped me feel like I was doing something/everything.

Im 37, already have a child, i have been told by the GP that they will help after 1yr if 35 and no children and 2yrs if you already have a child. I'm about a stone overweight so i do need to shift that.

I can't afford to go private i really wish i could.

I already have a child and was referred already by my GP. It's still 6 months of trying for referral whether you already have a child or not. I would keep pushing, secondary infertility is (unfortunately) very real.

If that's true then i will be making a masive complaint to my GP!

Definitely check out your trust/healthboard policy @whymewhyme - it varies a lot what will be offered 2nd time round but most offer nothing

Just to add to this, they should all always offer investigations to determine the cause (sperm analysis, checking your tubes, etc). You (and I) wouldn't be eligible for IUI or IVF on the NHS, but you would be eligible for everything up to that point. Definitely check the guidelines for your local trust but I would be surprised if you wouldn't be offered ovulation induction etc. The fact that I already have a child has been mentioned as a "hopefully there isn't anything major wrong" but otherwise hasn't impacted how I've been treated and the tests I've had etc. Definitely have a read and then push the GP, ask for another GP if possible.

I feel you.
I'm 37 and been ttc #2 since December 2020. All my tests are fine. DH has mildly low sperm count.
We can't get ivf on the nhs because I have a child, even though DH doesn't. They will do all the tests but now there is nothing more we can have on the nhs.
I've just started using the ferti-lily this cycle and we're saving for a round of ivf.
Im in my fertile week and have been feeling optimistic but then this afternoon I just think what's the point in thinking positive because I crash harder once AF arrives 😩

@fairgame84

I feel you. I'm 37 and been ttc #2 since December 2020. All my tests are fine. DH has mildly low sperm count. We can't get ivf on the nhs because I have a child, even though DH doesn't. They will do all the tests but now there is nothing more we can have on the nhs. I've just started using the ferti-lily this cycle and we're saving for a round of ivf. Im in my fertile week and have been feeling optimistic but then this afternoon I just think what's the point in thinking positive because I crash harder once AF arrives 😩

I'm so sorry to hear what your going though 😔 it's such a stresfull time and ivf is so so expensive! Its extremely difficult to remain hopefull or positve as you just know the outcome.

@fairgame84 I don't know anything about it really, but no IVF/ Fertility treatment is covered by the HSE (NHS) in Ireland I have have heard of a lot of couples going to the likes of Prague because apparently it is a lot cheaper. There was a thread on it on boards.ie in the pregnancy section recently.

Best advice I ever got (from a very well known and expert doc) was to have sex every other day for your entire fertile period. Don't have sex everyday as it may reduce the sperm count. Worked for us!+

@fairgame84 just out of curiosity can I ask were you offered clomid or letrozole? And did you get a hycosy?

@kmbegs I didn't get offered clomid as I don't need it but my gynae consultant said they would offer it if needed when we were discussing what the nhs would provide for us.
I didn't get a hycosy, I got a hsg.
On the nhs we have had day 3 and day 21 bloods. High vaginal swabs to check for infection. HSG to check for tube patency and a transvaginal ultrasound to check uterus and ovaries are normal. I only had transvaginal ultrasound because I have a retrovert uterus so pelvic ultrasound wasn't appropriate.
DH has had 2 semen samples analysed.
We don't get any further testing now. DH has got low sperm count, all my tests were normal so our only options are to keep trying or ivf.

Following as trying for no 2

Thanks @fairgame84. It sounds like they were thorough. Fingers crossed for it happening naturally.

Try not to stress too much about it. It will happen if so don't get upset I no it can be upsetting try and let.it go out of your mind xxx

Im sorry @Conspiracyornotr but that's really not a helpful comment at all. How can you let it go out of your mind? That's not how it works.
I had a £ for everytime someone made a comment like yours I'd be having my ivf by now!

Yeah unfortunately not stressing about it doesn't magically make it happen... I haven't conceived yet cause my ovaries don't work. Not cause I've been worrying to much...

Has your partner had a full sperm analysis done? Privately I think about £100?? I can't quite remember. Whilst not cheap it could rule out anything else.

Vitamin coq10 600mg daily for you. Vital DHA too. Help egg quality.

High dose vitamin C and coq10 for your partner too.

Lube that is sperm friendly.

I feel for you we TTC for three years to have DS finally after ivf.