Fertility Appointments and Beyond.... the journey continues

[Gracie2021]

New thread for us to continue our fertility clinic appointment progress...

Some of us are waiting for initial appointments, some are having tests and some are starting treatment!

@tillybabs
@thislittlebird
@kay00
@jeaniej
@PurpleUnicorn01
@paintfairy
@dogmam
@flutterby8
@Ughmaybenot
@dancingfairydreams
@beckycarlos
@jkjellyhead
@juno231
@decaffe
@bumble44
@BritinNZ
@tinkerbell098
@pinkginpls
@thedaydreambelievers
@everymumday
@wanderlust16
@lori23ttc

Oh god, it’s the average blood sugar test. Probably shouldn’t have had that whole box of coconut Lindt lindor over the last two days. Hopefully it’ll be ok or they’ll re-run it if not.

@thislittlebird I guess that would be a good indicator for insulin resistance which is often part and parcel of PCOS?

Got my 3+ on the digital today at 5+1 so things are still okay here. Got my last ivf blood tests this Thursday, it feels very weird to still be going ahead with it - I'm not very good with deception, it makes my ass sweat 🤣

@thislittlebird I feel exactly the same. Its hard to talk to people who aren't in this boat as all you hear is 'don't worry and relax' its hard to relax when theres so many factors. Ive gone YouTube crazy too, watching every ivf FET video possible.

Its completely okay to be scared. Its such a big step going through all of this. Im the same mentally preparing for a negative then mentally preparing that if it is something will be wrong on the 12 week scan. Its hard going when you've been through so much heart ache.

Yes im transfer in Jan then down reg from Thursday. I was doing okay after my loss but the thought of starting over again on Thursday has majorly kicked off the anxiety. I have acupuncture booked on Friday hopefully to calm the nerves.

Thinking of you.

@Juno231 what blood tests are they?
@thislittlebird they go on number of follicles/eggs collected for OHSS. So you might not know until the day of EC if they decide for a freeze all. I knew I wouldn't because I was nowhere near their threshold (think it was 20). I had 10 follicles, 12 eggs collected and 8 were mature. Bearing in mind my EC was 1 Nov, I'll attach you photos from today. These are how my ovaries still look! What i think the clinic don't tell you is most people get OHSS, just different severity. In hindsight I had it. And the scan lady today pretty much agreed. My acupuncture lady had also pointed it out to me before now. I can't say it's great. One tip is that I wish I had got on top of the constipation earlier. I feel so much better now I have with the lactulose.

Anyway- my scan today went OK. I was as anxious as hell like. Fully prepared for bad news. I won't attach the scan pic, as it seems insensitive, but it measured 8+3 and we saw the heartbeat. I'm still in denial about the whole thing. But the lady was really lovely and that helped.

@paintfairy im so pleased your scan went well. Have been following your story. Are you continuing with your acupuncture? X

@PurpleUnicorn01 yes. I've got another session next week. I just keep asking when I should go, and do as I'm told 🤣. I went 2 weeks after test day and then this will be 3 weeks after that. I think they start to space out? She said most people carry on going through the first trimester, so I thought I'll do that at least? Can't really afford it forever though.

@PurpleUnicorn01 aw you poor thing, you've been through a lot latley and lots more coming up with the transfer. I hope you can have a nice Christmas though and be semi distracted at least for a few days x

@thislittlebird my freeze all was mentioned before treatment that it was a possibility but then confirmed after stims and the first scan as I had lots of follicles.
I know what you mean about everything kind of being tainted because of this process. I was thinking today the last 2 years+ I have just become a completely different person and I do wonder why friends and family haven't asked why on earth I've had personality transplant. We can only hope that when our babies come along we will start to enjoy life again!

@paintfairy as so happy for you! I bet it was amazing to see the little heartbeat flickering away. Did you pay for a private scan? I hope you can start to enjoy it now!

@Juno231 bet you were thrilled to see 3+. I've been to scared to do another digital incase it hasn't moved but I'm 5+3 today so may do it tomorrow. How are you feeling?

@dogmam pleased to hear you are doing well too. I know you've had a long road to get to this point too. Yes Christmas should kill a few weeks whilst doing the down regs. Be a great distraction. Im hoping next year is the year if the embryo that wants to actually stay.

@paintfairy I think continuing acupuncture for 12 weeks is a great idea for sure. I stopped after my positive but I think this time if I got a positive id carry on. If nothing else its so relaxing but it does cost a small fortune

@Juno231 yeah, hopefully the chocolates won’t skew the 2-3 month average results 😐

Are they re-running your hepatitis, HIV tests? We’ve got to get those done again in late Jan when we go for our drugs teach and first scan.

@PurpleUnicorn01 I haven’t gone down the YouTube rabbit hole, which is probably a good thing. That’s the thing, it’s a process of constantly managing expectations and building and rebuilding your defences. It’s so tiring, other people don’t get it.

The hard part about starting all over (or starting new) is there’s yet again no end in sight. It’s so hard never to have a finish line.

@paintfairy your ovaries are still enlarged, is that standard? Will they go down eventually? I’ve had 23-38 follicles on regular months, the month the Guys doctor scanned me I had 38. Seemed odd she didn’t even broach the subject of a possibly needing a freeze all, I do wish she had. I would prefer one I think, would rather not get sick, even if it’s a delay of a month or so. Glad the scan went well and the lactulose is helping!

I have acupuncture Friday lunchtime, and an eye test! Desperately in need of new lenses for my glasses, it’s been a while.

@PurpleUnicorn01 speaking of years, can I complain about how we’re about to enter yet another one?! When I started this ttc malarkey I thought our year would be 2020, now it won’t be 2021, it could be 2022, but most likely 2023 or beyond before we have a human baby .

'That’s the thing, it’s a process of constantly managing expectations and building and rebuilding your defences. It’s so tiring, other people don’t get it.

The hard part about starting all over (or starting new) is there’s yet again no end in sight. It’s so hard never to have a finish line'

@thislittlebird that literally sums up this journey.

@paintfairy mine were still slightly enlarged by the 12 week scan, they said its normal if you have lots of follicles.

@thislittlebird yes you totally can complain, we all hear you sister!! We feel your pain.

@dogmam you get an 8 week scan as part of the ivf. Then you are discharged into the real world. It still doesn't feel real though!
@thislittlebird I think it's common for it to take ages. Your body has to reabsorb all the fluid.
@PurpleUnicorn01 who knows if it even works. But what's a bit more money. 🤣 I was struggling though when it was once a fortnight or even a week. Soon mounts up!

@paintfairy i think im too scared not to do it this time lol

@dogmam just read what you said about being a totally different person that’s exactly how I feel.. hoping to get back to myself once we have a baby ❤️ Xx

@thislittlebird I didn't think I'd have results that showed up PCOS either, and mostly I don't, but my AMH was sky high!

@gracie2021 I'm definitely going to mention the auto immune factor to my consultant. My last big flare up started in December last year (1 x night of severe joint pain followed by 3 x months of stomach pain) and during this time I had two long anovulatory cycles back to back 🤨

I have started giving thoughts to IVF. Thinking about which clinics to use if I pay privately etc. And if occurred to me... my OH doesn't drive (he rides a motorbike and thinks driving is boring 🙄), but if I'm doing IVF, which can be pretty invasive, and might also be situated in a different city, will I need him to drive me back and forth?

If so, this might finally be the excuse I need to get him on a course 😆 🚙

@kay00 you wouldn't be allowed to drive after egg collection but I guess it would be easier/cheaper if you just stayed at a hotel nearby and made a nice day out of it?

@paintfairy same blood tests as what @thislittlebird said - they're checking for viral diseases like hiv.

@dogmam I'm feeling really good, how are you? No nausea for me yet so can't complain! When is your viability scan with the clinic? 4th Jan I imagine?

Hope you're all doing ok! Update from me, had my polyp check today and they are...still uncertain 🤣 the said if she hadnt been told to check she wouldnt have seen anything, but she could kinda see what the first person meant, she was almost sure its not a polyp, (although if it is its big and needs to come out?! Lol) but since my period is taking its sweet time coming (although I am bleeding today) I have to go back next weds for a third (and hopefully final) check.

Bloods were also a drama, an HCA, and the advanced nurse practitioner who did my scan, couldnt get a vein in either arm, so I had to go through to theatre recovery to get someone else to do it (from my hand 🤢) where it took a good 2 mins to fill the tube because my blood was not cooperating.

Plus side, I got to see where I'll hopefully be going in Jan/Feb to have egg collection etc which I've never seen before and now am less nervous about. Always looking for the silver lining 🤣

@PurpleUnicorn01 had this ivf not worked, I probably wouldn't have done the acupuncture next time. But now I would be scared to tempt fate and not use it!
@Juno231 ah right. Yeah I had those.
@Kay00 I went for most of my appointments alone, as DH wasn't allowed in. But the EC you aren't allowed to drive after, so DH drove me (and he was allowed to wait for that too). A hotel is an option though if it's easier?
@beckyCarlos they sound.... useless. 🤣 I'm glad they finally got blood though.

Lol @paintfairy apparently my veins are 'juicy, but move around a lot' through this process I've learnt far too much about my insides. I was just laughing (through tears, becuase I'm having one of those days where I feel sorry for myself) with my husband about people who just have sex and make embryos. Who are these people 🤣 and how weird it is that I'll probably never know the name of the person who actually fertilizes my egg!

@beckyCarlos that sounds like some ordeal but love how you see the silver lining. Getcha about those random bitter moment where you realize how weird this whole thing is.

@Kay00 sounds like there was something going on alright. It's such a funny area though that they don't really seem able to prove much about it and treating it feels more like a "just in case". Have you ever had immune bloods run? How are you feeling about thoughts turning to IVF? I found it a very emotional stage as discussing and planning it got real.... take care of yourself.

@dogmam @Lori23TTC know what you mean about feeling like a completely different person at times. I try so hard not to let this take over my life and change me but it's actually impossible not to. Some days you just feel so drained and vulnerable like running a marathon but you don't know where the finish line is. Hope we all get to the other side intact! I'm trying journaling at the moment which is actually more of a help than I thought.

@thislittlebird @PurpleUnicorn01 when you mention the years like that it's actually unreal isn't it. The hardest thing for me timeline wise is seeing women who announced after we were trying are now back from their maternity leave with their babies and I'm still here in the same spot. Like being overtaken every time.

@paintfairy congratulations on your scan and so glad all went well. Crazy that your ovaries are still affected even now!!

@Juno231 congrats on the 3+. Hope you're feeling ok.

Lol i agree this whole process is weird. The thought my future family is in a freezer at the moment is so strange.

How are you all? Any updates.

@Gracie2021 thanks. Yeah I know! Just goes to show how long healing really takes.
@PurpleUnicorn01 in the freezer. 🤣 Yeah it is a strange concept if you sit back and think about it too hard.

Fuming! CD10 today and have a great lining for me at day 10 of 7-7.3 triple lined so all the work is paying off there. Pointless though as not a single dominant follicle and a massive 29mm cyst on my left ovary which is the one that does all the heavy lifting. The only hope is another 11mm follicle also on my left with the cyst but she didn't seem hopeful. Will hear more this evening but this is now pretty much the worst of my 7 medicated cycles and they might not bother even having me trigger. Also a total follicle count of about 6-7 most tiny. So concerned about how IVF will go for us when this is the most follicles I ever see and now struggling to get even one dominant one. Sorry for the rant just a really bad scan.

Hi there, please could I join? I'm 31 and have been TTC for 11 months. I came off the pill 2 months before trying and 6 months in was diagnosed with PCOS (I had no periods, hormonal acne and polycystic ovaries on scans, although several rounds of blood work came back as normal). Over the last 5 months I've worked really hard on eating a low carb high protein diet, improving my gut health and supplementing. I've also had 3 rounds of unmonitored letrazole - on the first month I ovulated but didn't fall pregnant, and the following two months I had a non-response. I'm due to start monitored letrazole with a trigger shot and IUI in January. I'm just waiting to hear from my clinic whether I can start the first round before having a HyCoSy as the earliest HyCoSy appointment I can get is late Feb. So many friends around me are falling pregnant easily in their first or second months trying - I'm trying my best to stay positive although it feels really hard some days. I think I've cried more this year than I did in all the other years of my life combined! Looking forward to getting to know you x