How hard is it really to get pregnant at 35?

[Mudra85]

Hi All,

I'm 35 and have just had one NHS-funded failed round of IVF (chemical pregnancy). We're eligible for another round of funded IVF but were told this week that all the funding has been allocated for this year and that we'd have to wait until March to start a new cycle.

Now, here's the thing, we went down the IVF route to avoid having a child with a serious genetic condition I'm a carrier for. There's a 25% chance of having an affected child with each pregnancy. I've been pregnant before at age 34 (in 2020) but we found out our baby boy was affected with the condition and chose to terminate the pregnancy.

Given my age, 6 months seems like an awfully long time to wait, so we've decided to try naturally (as scary as that is given our history) and then have prenatal testing as early as possible to determine if the baby is affected with the condition.

However, I realise that even though neither of us have any known fertility issues we'd be very lucky to get pregnant within 6 months given my age.

Does anyone have any experiences of getting pregnant at 35 or older? How long did it take of active trying to get there?

We conceived easily at 40 (me) and DH was 45. My best friend has had 2 at 41 and 44 easily.
Abortion rates in the over 40’s are far higher than teenagers now as lots of people get in new relationships post divorce and are accidentally conceiving.
But the risks of abnormalities and miscarriage are far higher.

I'm 36 and on cycle 10. DH has mild low sperm count and I'm waiting for hycosy scan. We've not had any bfp at all in 10 months.
I have a DS and it took me 5 months to get pregnant with him when I was 20 so I'm probably not the most fertile person ever.
I've had colleagues similar age that have got pregnant straight away.
It depends on the couple really.

I was 40 and conceived easily. But of course everyone is different

Each individual’s fertility is just that: highly individual.

But the ‘fertility drops off a cliff’ at 35 has been debunked as inaccurate and out of date. If you conceived easily at 34 the decline in fertility wouldn’t be a massive drop over 2 years if there are no other issues.

Nearly everyone I know had their babies in their mid to late 49s.

I conceived (healthy of and birth) at first attempt at 43.

Good luck OP.

The wait seems cruel given your circumstances.

Er… mid to late 30s, not 49!

36, underactive thyroid, insulin resistance PCOS and high BMI. Sadly I have been trying for 10 years and only one pregnancy in 2019 that I lost at 7weeks.

I can't get medical help because of my bmi, they won't even do investigations to see if there are any issues. So it's very tricky.

I am still hopeful but have to be realistic, so I have been going to counselling to help me come to terms with I might never be a mum which is the hardest hurdle.

I fell pregnant at 38 (almost 39), it took 3&1/2 years but for one of those I was breastfeeding and then got diagnosed with some gynae problems. I know plenty of people who have got pregnant after the apparent deterioration of fertility at 35.

I got pregnant at 42 - without trying assumed the lack of periods was the menopause .....

But we are all different - I wish you luck.

I'm 38 ttc #1 & my partner is 37. Have conceived on all three cycles we've tried but each has ended in a slightly different form of loss (mmc, ectopic, mc). All in six months. Last period before trying was in Feb of this year.

Wouldn't be surprised if my eggs were a bit crap now, but I'm also thinking I might have hyperfertility, which is basically an unfussy womb that implants duff eggs it should rightly reject. Am under the care of a RMC and initial tests are fine. In TWW now, so hoping this is it, but doubtful I've conceived this time.

Thank you all for your responses. Very much appreciated!

@fairgame84 my DH has mild low sperm count too, but he's only been tested once for that when we had our screening test prior to starting IVF. It took us a year of casual TTCing before I got pregnant, although I have a strong suspicion I also had a chemical pregnancy in that time. I hardly did any OPKs as I hadn't figured out how to use them properly at that point, didn't know when my usual ovulation day was, and we were probably very hit and miss with our timings. I don't think we're the most fertile couple either.
Good luck with your hycosy scan. I had one of those before starting IVF.

@beanchopper17 I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It really is such a difficult thing to go through. It's good that you can access counselling, but I'm so sorry you can't get medical help at the moment! You probably already know this, but I understand that myo-inositol is a very good supplement for those with PCOS.

I conceived at age 39 a month after coming off the pill, at 42 after five months and at 43 after four months. You've been pregnant before so you know you are fertile. Good luck 🤞🏻

Nhs figures. You’re obviously at the low end of the age bracket though.

www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/trying-for-a-baby/how-long-it-takes-to-get-pregnant/

Plus a chart

I conceived my first DC at 35, pregnant again at 38 (ended in MMC) and my second DC a month later. All first tries.

DH same age. I understand we were incredibly lucky but admittedly I was a woman obsessed with TTC and did ovulation tests and daily temping throughout, plus in the months leading up to TTC to get to know my cycle.

DH and I started trying to conceive DS when I was 31. It took 5 years, 2 chems, 2 MCs, 1 ectopic and 2 failed IVF rounds before DS was conceived naturally by accident when I was 35. I gave birth when I was 36.

I am now 24 weeks pregnant with DC2. It took 10 months, 5 chems, 1 failed IVF before I conceived naturally at 40. I will give birth when I am 41.

No idea why it was so much easier second time around. The only change of which I am aware is that we are both so much healthier than when trying to conceive DC1 - both stopped drinking alcohol 2 years ago (not related to TTC, just a lifestyle change), less stressed at work, eating better, exercising more etc. Who on earth knows if any of that actually made any difference.

Good luck to you OP, really hope it all works out for you.

Like others say there are stats and age is important but it’s individual. There are 25 year olds who try for a year and have no luck likewise a 49 year old can be successful on their first month.

I was a few months off 35 when I started to try and it was on my second month I was successful. You’ve been pregnant before so that’s some positive towards getting pregnant again.

Sorry to hear of your issues. If you’re prepared to get tests and handle the potential outcomes then you might as well try. If it doesn’t happen in 6 months you’ll have the ivf to try again.

Best of luck

Unless you have an issue that stops you conceiving it is really easy to get pregnant in your 30s.

As you have already conceived I would think you will conceive again fairly quickly. I conceived on first month of trying at 35 and 37 and I only have one ovary.

I fell pregnant first month trying 2 weeks before I turned 39.

3 months at 37 and first go at 40, we've been very lucky. Good luck!

I got pregnant at 35 within first month of trying to my amazement. My BMI is 32 as well so thought it would take longer!

Started TTC at 35. It took 13 months.

I'm a carrier for a genetic condition. We paid privately for extra screening during pregnancy. Thankfully, our DC is healthy.

My first I was 33 and it took about 4 months.

My second I was 35 and it took one accidentally missed pill and literally one time (we weren't trying obviously).

Thanks for any new replies. All are very helpful!

@SlateCoaster can I ask what extra screening during pregnancy you paid for privately?

Everybody is just so different you can’t predict. I got pregnant at 36 first month of trying and at 38 on the second month of trying.

It took me 6 months to get pregnant with DC1 at 35, which probably was mostly due to waiting for the pill to get out of my system as I’d been on it since I was 18.

DC2 took about 2 days at 38. We decided we wanted a second, looked at the dates and they were aligned. I didn’t go back on the pill between (or after) the DC.

It took us 4 months aged 36. Lots of my friends have had babies quite easily post-35, although of course with some miscarriages as well. Your fertility doesn't drop off a cliff at 35, though it does sound like yours isn't super fertile so that's something to consider.

Is your genetic condition SMA? Just wondering as those odds rang a bell. My friend's first child sadly had SMA and died very young. They decided to try naturally for their following children with early screening and termination if necessary, and they were fortunate enough to have two healthy children without any terminations or miscarriages. It seemed like really scary odds to me, but my friend was very pragmatic about it and said at least they knew what they were dealing with, and she preferred to conceive naturally than go through IVF.

Best of luck, whichever route you choose.