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Conception

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Home insemination - maybe baby finally?

78 replies

SweetFudge · 10/11/2004 10:39

Hello everyone,

This is Sweetfudge from the home insemination crisis question of ages ago - Just want to post and say I'm hoping that the sore nipples then very sore boobs I've been having from 2 days after the inseminations mean only one good thing -that it has worked. I've had tummy cramps eight days post ovulation and am on day 11 now without cramps again. Normally, when I get cramps, AF knocks on the door the day after.

Boobs are like melons and dh is having a ball. He has been scrutinising them and says left boob is also larger than the other and there is a fine blue vein appearing. Ah! explains why I've been leaning slightly left into the wind lately.

Is that odd? Anyone else have lopsided veiny boobs as a possible good sign?Or am I turning into Quasimodo and eventually, the hump will make an appearance?

Dh wants me to test but I'm too nervous. The thought makes me sick actually. We've been zooming into London for months to pick up the sperm and high tailing it back to our place each time to inseminate - it has failed each time so far. The last failed attempt was particularly hard to bear since we thought it'd finally worked.

I'd become so frustrated at the time (an hour) it took between our donor producing the goods and it getting inseminated into me that we finally hired a van last time around (tried to make it cosy at back of the van but short of getting our bed in there, it was going to be quite uncomfortable) and we inseminate round the corner from donor's place. (I mooted the idea again of inseminating at his place but he was very uncomfortable with that - He explained that it was crossing a boundary for him).

Dh understands and I tried to. I know how much he is already helping by doing this for us and words will never adequately express how thankful we are for his caring. Yet some frustrated selfish part of me (the one that wants children so much) thinks "Crossing a boundary? We crossed that boundary 800 miles back! I'm being inseminated with your sperm, Man! This is no time to be squeamish!" It felt like I was being given the tools but not the means of using them effectively.

We were convinced it would work if we closed the time gap. I cried for days when it failed. Just sobbed like a stuck pig for days anywhere...in the shower, in the car, in the pasta aisle of Tesco, onto some paperback at Borders, you get the idea.

I think we'd reached the edge, looked over and just saw years of trying and failing whilst left right and centre, our mates were getting pregnant and having kids.

Anyhow, I'm going to wait till next Monday before I test - if AF doesn't come a knocking before then.

I think the signs are good so far - Any thoughts?

Send us good thoughts for this to work..finally. I send truckloads of babydust to all the members trying to conceive. May we all get the precious +ves we dearly want and dream of.

Sweetfudge

OP posts:
Toothache · 13/11/2004 12:53

Sweetfudge - So happy to hear your promising signs...... fingerscrossed for a +ve result!

Congrats Hester!!

Soupy - you've gotto stop using that baby sprinkles thing! I've been claiming it as my own since you sent me it and I can't be exposed as a fraud !!!!!

melsy · 13/11/2004 12:53

goodluck sweetfudge , dont know much about home insemination. Are the signs still there ??

Soupy hope you dont mind ive taken your dust to litotes land. Its just soo coool !!

SweetFudge · 14/11/2004 20:52

Hello everyone - My boobs are just very sore now, Melsy. Thanks for asking! Cycle day 33 now (Mine can be as long as 40 days) and I'm still waiting for either AF or will test late next week. It is a long finger drumming wait.

Mumsnet is a very, very good place. Glitzy shopping bags full of babydust to all the ttc gals.

xxx

OP posts:
smellymelly · 15/11/2004 10:10

Don't know how you can wait for so long - surely you could test now?!?!?!?

kizzie · 15/11/2004 12:22

Sweetfudge - after my (finally) successful IVF I tested 6 days after embryo transfer - just couldnt wait any longer- and there was a faint (but very definate) blue line. Think you could test anytime now. If its negative - could still turn positive over next few days. But if its positive then its a definate yes.

Congratulations Hester!!!!
Kizziex

kizzie · 15/11/2004 12:24

Hester - Im really sorry - Ive only just seen your other thread. I hope my congratulations havent upset you even more. Thinking of you today.
Kizziex

SweetFudge · 15/11/2004 16:06

Hi everyone,

AF has arrived. I don't know what else to say. Thank you for all your support, it has meant so much to me.

Sweetfudge

OP posts:
geordie · 15/11/2004 16:07

(((((hugs))))) thinking of you

xx

CookieMonster · 15/11/2004 16:13

sweetfudge, so so sorry to hear this

Pidge · 15/11/2004 16:17

Really sad for you - wish I could think of something more helpful

wilbur · 15/11/2004 16:18

I'm so sorry sweetfudge. Thinking of you.

motherinferior · 15/11/2004 16:24

Oh honey. Honey. I'm so sorry.

cat82 · 15/11/2004 16:41

I'm really sorry to hear that hon, thinking of you sweetfudge.
xxxx

kizzie · 15/11/2004 16:56

Im really so sorry sweetfudge. I can remember that feeling of being so convinced and then AF arriving.
Be really gentle on yourself for the next few days. Thinking of you.
Kizziex

bunny2 · 15/11/2004 20:44

oh bugger . I was hoping for good news from you. So sorry.

Hausfrau · 15/11/2004 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toothache · 16/11/2004 11:52

Sweetfudge -

smellymelly · 17/11/2004 09:03

I'm a bit slow....

hester · 17/11/2004 09:23

So sorry it didn't work out for you this month, sweetfudge . Hang on in there, lovey; it's really tough but you WILL get there. xxxx

MINNIE1 · 17/11/2004 11:20

SF, so sorry AF arrived.. Sending You hugs and love..xxxx...

SweetFudge · 18/11/2004 13:11

Hello everyone,

Thank you all so much for your support. I'm sorry for not posting sooner. I am truly grateful for the time each of you take to post your thoughts and friendship on our journey.

We will keep trying. How long for, I don't know.
Each failure reminds Dh of his infertility and my frustration and anger at our situation rears its head with each unsuccessful cycle.

For all you ladies ttc, truckloads of babydust to you! May we all have successful pregnancies soon.

OP posts:
BeckiF · 18/11/2004 16:39

Can't they extract immature sperm directly from your partner and use that?

Chandra · 18/11/2004 16:46

Sweetfudge, many hugs. Thinking of you and sending lots of babydust your way.

SweetFudge · 19/11/2004 03:19

Thank you, Chandra. Hi BeckiF, DH is azoospermic (very few or no living sperm in any one sample). The likeliest reason is DH having undescended testes for years.

DH's parents didn't discover that his testes hadn't descended till he was an adolescent. They only found out when they took him to their GP after DH started complaining that his pelvic area was always sore and bruised after rugby games.

As such, our chances of conceiving naturally are apparently in the one percentile range.

We started on a cycle of ICSI in 2002 since the fertility guys at UCL informed us they would have no problems extracting some sperm from DH using the TESA procedure. (ie. retriving sperm under surgery)

I went under one fine morning and had 9 eggs collected. DH went under at the same time to get his men out. My procedure took a half hour. His was supposed to take about the same time. DH was in there for an hour and a half. They kept extracting biopsy after biopsy with no living sperm. They finally found 2 and not very good ones at that.

So there I am, sitting up and the head honcho comes in and says, "We found 2 and we'll try and fertilise them with your eggs. But the chances of fertilisation succeeding are about 20%. We also do not recommend any more TESA since it may result in the atrophisation of his testicles. Your DH will not be able to father children of his own. We also need a decision on whether you'll approve fertilising the rest of the eggs with donor sperm. So you need to decide in the next five minutes as we have to fertilise the remaining eggs as soon as possible."

And he actually looked at his watch to TIME the alloted minutes. I just felt myself grow very calm and cold. I thanked him and said I'd confer with him in a few minutes time. What was the point of even letting on how shocked and devastated I was to this man?

Going into DH's room and telling him he'd never be able to father biological children remains a very hard moment for me to think about.

I am sitting here writing at 3 a.m. because it just has been one of those days and I can't sleep.

But writing does help.

Goodnight, mumsnetters.

OP posts:
hoxtonchick · 19/11/2004 08:06

oh sweetfudge xxxxxxxxxx