Trying to conceive over 40 part 2

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

That's good news @Honey2 keeping everything crossed for you. Yes I will follow up this week re referral and results. Hopefully I'm due some good luck soon xx

@Catconfusion thank you, I've taken my last clomid tablet today, and not notice any side effects other than yesterday and today a slight pain in the right ovary 🤞🏻 xx

@Marvellouslymadmum I was wondering if you’d had an HSG as part of any investigations?
I had one two weeks ago and the results were inconclusive.

@birdbybird nope nothing at all unfortunately, I have adenomyosis and suspected endometriosis as well so they should be doing a laparoscopy but no luck yet

@Marvellouslymadmum how were you diagnosed with adenomyosis? Was it via ultrasound?
The waiting is really hard...

@birdbybird yes ultrasound, the gp referred me for one which was good, I feel like I'm always waiting for something and it's been going on forever!

10dpo and BFN. I've got all the usual PMS symptoms so pretty sure I'm out again.

I think I'm going to get some blood tests done. Does anyone know, is it an AMH test that I would need or something else / as well as? Thanks!

Hi @Lemonbell I use Ava to track my bbt ive never done it with a thermometer. But everyone seems to do it just before they get out of bed in the morning. @kirinm I got AMH and follicle count tested. Although they say as long as AMH isn't 0 then there is still a chance. AMH is only a good indicator of how you would respond to IVF.

@Lemonbell for BBT you do need to do at same time each morning give or take 30 mins. You also need to do it before you move at all - don’t even sit up. I used to set my alarm for earlier than I would normally get up wake enough to take my temp and then snooze for another 20 mins or so! You can’t start in the middle of your cycle - you’ll need to start around day 4 ish at the latest as the app will need to get your base level temp BEFORE you ovulate so that it can detect the rise after you have ovulated. Hope that helps. App I used was fertility friend. In answer to your q about ovulation pain - that’s very common, I get it most months. Tends to happen the day of ovulation for me but can also happen before and even after ov.

@Lemonbell also I’ve never had any hormone bloods done but I did have my follicles counted by the dr at the recurrent miscarriage clinic and was told they were lower than average for my age (he only saw 3 in total). However as @October1979 says that isn’t so important for TTC naturally and it didn’t stop me getting preg (now nearly 9 weeks)

@October1979

Hi *@Lemonbell I use Ava to track my bbt ive never done it with a thermometer. But everyone seems to do it just before they get out of bed in the morning. @kirinm* I got AMH and follicle count tested. Although they say as long as AMH isn't 0 then there is still a chance. AMH is only a good indicator of how you would respond to IVF.

Does AMH give a good indication of whether IVF might work? I'd read that the chances of it working at 44 are very slim but wondering if that is assuming a low egg reserve at that age?

We were told they take your AMH number, follicle count and FSH and make an assumption from there as to what your chances might be. If you already have children that's a positive as you've proved your body can carry a baby to full term or almost full term if they're early I guess

If your AMH is high they do seem to take a more positive view but I think for IVF they use those figures really as an assessment as to how many eggs they might be able to retrieve rather than what quality they are. We were told the only real test as to your egg quality is to chromosome test those they retrieve or if you get pregnant naturally I suppose

Thanks all. I had ruled IVF out as a route I didn't think I could face going down but I am wondering if it's it's worth at least getting some initial tests done to see if there's any chance it might actually work. My DD is 3 so my body should remember what it's like to carry a baby.

I have a difficult night ahead. I am going out with my best friends for the first time since having my miscarriage. There are 10 of us. They all have kids except me and one other who has been going down the donor egg route. I thought I might tell them about miscarrying the twins in August. They all know we are both trying. I didn't want to tell them until i was feeling stronger and i was seeing them in the flesh. However my other friend phoned mid week to say the donor egg worked and she is 12 weeks. She's going to tell everyone tonight and just wanted to tell me first so I could prepare myself. I feel now I can't tell them and also I have to put on a brave face. I am delighted for her as she has had just as tough a time. But I feel as if it's making me hide my own. Help

hi @kirinm i had ruled out ivf too, but am now on my second round :)

i think with normal ivf, they treat amh as an indicator of how many eggs they'll be able to collect during the process. they like higher amh, because the more eggs, the more the chances of having a good quality egg in there that will successfully fertilise, develop to the blastocyst stage for transfer and then hopefully stick. there is another form of ivf (they do it at the create clinics) which is a more "natural" form which is more focused on creating the optimal conditions to get just one good egg (i.e. in the same way as there would only be one egg in a typical cycle), rather than pumping you full of hormones to maximise the number of eggs collected. They sell this type of ivf as being better for 40+ women with lower ovarian reserve but they also say you're likely to need more rounds to be successful. ultimately, no matter how many eggs there are, it's the quality that really matters, so that is probably why some clinics won't do ivf with own eggs after a certain age.

i am doing normal ivf - i have a low amh (2.7) and am 40 but they didn't raise any suggestion that i couldn't give it a go (it's private, but some of the clinics are quite protective about their success rates so will refuse to treat you if they think it's unlikely to be successful). i have produced more eggs than they expected (they thought there would be 2-3, but i had 11 in this round), but i think for me it's the quality that's the issue. we'll give it one more round and then i think either look into one round at create or bow out. i'm glad that we have tried it (because i would have always wondered "what if" if we hadn't), but it is such an emotional rollercoaster !!

Hi All, wondering if I'd be alright to join the chat. I'm 43, 44 in Feb ttc nearly a year for my #3 and OH #1. Looking for advice, support and some humour with ladies on a similar journey to ours🙂

@October1979 i'm so sorry, what a difficult situation to be in. i think if you feel ready to talk about it, then you should tell them. appreciate that you probably don't want to detract from her very positive news, but your friend who has gone the donor egg route will understand well the difficulties that you have gone through in trying to have a baby, even if she hasn't been through the heartache of a miscarriage herself. and i think your friends would probably want you to feel able to talk to them about it, as well as to give you a big hug. you'll probably need that brave face in any case, but it might help avoid some insensitive (however unintentional) comments if they know. my heart goes out to you - i hope you're able to enjoy your night and seeing your best pals, whatever you decide.

Thanks @99pctpractice I will probably not say anything tonight as don't want to rain on my friend's parade when she has waited so long. Maybe if she leaves early I will share. Just don't want anyone thinking I'm being unsupportive or a bit distant without knowing my story xx

I would feel guilty telling them before as t might take away from their reaction to her news. Also they don't know about her yet so don't want to give anything away. A couple of them already know about me and so does my pregnant friend. Think I will just try and be brave and do the right thing tonight xx

that makes sense, and i'm sure nobody is going to be judging you when they know that you're trying at the moment - good luck and i hope it isn't too difficult an evening for you xx

@October1979 gosh I’m sorry that sounds a tough situation… if your pregnant friend knows about your miscarriage though hopefully she might be a bit more considerate of that fact when talking about her news. You could always ask your pregnant friends what she thinks? Share that you are worried of taking the shine away from her good news but would at the same time value the support of the group?

Everything went well last night and I was fine. It was a lovely night. I was able to congratulate my friend and be ok. I feel now I was worrying about nothing. Thanks for all your support ladies xx