Am I going mad, can anybody see lines on these?

[Dandy0911]

I'm pretty sure. Almost certain these are negative but I'm some lights I swear I can see a tiny tiny line. It would be really really bittersweet if it was a line.

I'm 3 days late for my period. Pretty regular. I have an 8 month old DD whom I adore.

I had a very rare and aggressive type of cancer 3 years ago, and the treatment (although we didn't think at the time,) has left me infertile. My eggs are good but my insides are shot to pieces. We managed to conceive DD through IVF / ICSI but the pregnancy made me incredibly poorly. Which we also didn't know would be the case. (The treatment and surgery for my cancer is very new and very rare and I was almost a bit of a guinea pig.)

I have a 52 staple scar from my sternum to my nunnie so I've literally been cut in half, and because the pregnancy put so much strain on my scar, it was in the early stages of rupture and DD was born via section at 36 weeks as we were both in danger.

We're both here and healthy (me somewhat, with lifelong issues.)

If I were to be pregnant, on my own, it would be a miracle that I've conceived on my own. But the possibility of it making me v v poorly (plus even more scar tissue) is very high. And I would feel so selfish because I wouldn't want to not be healthy enough to devote 100% of myself to my DD.

Please no judgement. If I was pregnant I would have to have a long conversation out my surgeon, but deep down I know what the answer would be. But I'm jumping ahead of myself here as I don't think they're positive. I just wanted the lovelies of MN to tell me what they think. Are there 2 lines???

The reason I'm not on contraception also, is the chances of me become pregnant are virtually zilch. I didn't want to put myself on contraception as well as the numerous other meds I'm on. But if I am pregnant, or if I'm not but this is a scare, I'm going to have a think.

Sorry for the long post, I didn't want to drip feed.

Hi there, I can see faint lines on both tests. Perhaps a more responsive test would be helpful to know one way or another.

Thank you for replying Intersmellar

These were co op cheapies.

I don't even know how I feel I feel so numb

I can see 2 very faint lines. Wishing you the very best xxx

It must be a shock right now. I hope you have some support in real life to talk through your feelings x

Yes I'd agree that I can see the lines, I hope it all works out OK for you OP, sounds very tough

Definitely two lines.

Hi, honey. I can see two very faint lines.

Didnt want to read and run, I see the lines too. Defo worth doing another test especially as at 3 days late they should be darker. Good luck with what ever you decide.

I agree with others - I see the lines too but would try with a better test. I hope everything works out for you hun.

Lines definitely there

The lines are clearer than some of the squinters I have seen posted here. Go gently, won't you? Perhaps get a digital test. Do you have any idea how far along you might be?

Who am I kidding. The more I look at the picture the more I can see the lines. I've thrown the tests out now as I know they're no good after ten minutes.

I'm going to try again in a couple of days with a frer.

My heads everywhere now. I feel so irresponsible but it's virtually impossible (so I was told) to fall pregnant on my own.

After all the years praying I'd fall naturally and I couldn't. And now there's a chance I'm pregnant and there's 99% chance I couldn't go forward with the pregnancy. I feel so careless

Ugh. I feel like I've been punched in the heart.

Also, if it's a viable pregnancy the lines should be darker shouldn't they.

Maybe it's a chemical.

I don't know what to think. DD won't stop screaming I just need my husband home from work for some support.

But your support is really helping. Thank you all.

Deffo lines and darkness depends on when u ovulated. Could be perfectly normal for u - what were ur previous lines like?

@friskybivalves

My last period was 31 days ago. I'm normally 26-28 days. But they're so so faint.

I think it could possibly me a chemical but I'm none the wiser at the minute so I'm going to wait a few days and do a FRER on Friday.

Thank you for your lovely words. So bitter sweet :(

They look positive to me.

I would retest with frer, and get in touch with the medical team asap

Dandy, you asked others not to judge you in your OP and I would urge you not to judge yourself either. In what have been times of unprecedented pressure and disruption for the country and the world, you have been through quite hellish experiences on top of that which would have left anyone reeling.

However! You have a beautiful DD and whatever comes of those smudgy lines, that in itself is a great triumph for you and DH. Hold onto that thought when you do your FRER. and later if you then need the advice of your medical team. Everyone is going to be on your side whatever happens next.

Unmumsnetty hugs {{{}}}

When I was tcc I got lines like these on multiple tests and I was definitely not pregnant

Also don't wait til Friday
Get a FRER first thing tomorrow to put your mind at rest
A FRER will give you an answer tomorrow

Isn't the test line the one furthest from the green bit? If so, then they are super dye-stealing positive, was your last period normal? I'd be thinking you're further along if that's the test line

@friskybivalves thank you so much for your message. It made me cry.

Woken up with a clearer head today I just didn't know what to think.

DH went and got me a clear blue last night. I did it this morning and the test was faulty..
I'm going to order some FRER on same day prime.

Still no period this morning.. 4 days late. No idea what's going on.
Thank you for all your lovely messages!

Did another. Faint line on a clear blue. I've just emailed my consultant.

I feel so empty :(

The hardest thing I'm trying to get my head around is this baby would be so wanted.
We have a lovely home. Married. It would fit in perfectly.

I was so incredibly poorly in the 3rd trimester with DD. I was in hospital from 32 weeks due to my scar inside. I wasn't allowed a natural birth as contractions could've ripped my scar open inside.

I can't see how I would get through this pregnancy. After my C section I was strongly advised not to carry again and I accepted it. I have my DD. Never conceived on my own like this and was told I never would.

DH is being amazing, I just don't know what to do or where to turn.

Oh bless you @Dandy0911 . I’m so sorry to read about your dreadful quandary - you must feel hopelessly at sea at the moment, until things are confirmed for definite with a blood test, and until you’ve been able to have those crucial talks with your consultant.

The way you write and express yourself about this is so clear and nuanced, and you’ve painted a very vivid bittersweet picture of your situation and feelings that’s just makes my heart go out to you.

No real words of advice from me but I just needed to tell you that I’ll be thinking about you in these days and weeks ahead, and sending you strength and support across the airwaves.

Do take care and draw on all the real life support you possibly can. Hugs

@MuckyPlucky

Thank you so much for your lovely words. DD is currently sat in her high chair munching on her toast, and I can't help but think how much I'd love to be able to give her a sibling. I accepted I'd have one child, but now I'm in this situation it's opened up a whole lot of thoughts I didn't know I had.

I can't keep this pregnancy. I just can't. The thought of being in hospital, poorly, for weeks or months on end when I have DD at home. I don't think my body could recover from another C section. I've had 6 big surgeries on my abdo in 4 years and it's so incredibly damaged from that already.

I know what I need to do, it's just going to break my heart.

But.. so many people out there are struggling to have 1 baby let alone 2. I'm lucky to have DD.

Thank you so much everybody for your support. Uggggh I hate this :(

I've no advice but I just wanted to leave some love ❤❤