Bus 6 of the Donkey club! Ttc for forever helpful supportive ladies for endo/ivf/mfi etc

[Marvellouslymadmum]

Climb abourd donkeys 😂

I’ve just made my booking in appointment, for the day after my viability scan. Fingers crossed this is the time I don’t have to cancel it last minute…

I’m not up to speed but good luck with your scan @Sunbird24!

Saw Mr Ramsay for dna frag results. DH sperm has improved a lot which is good. Motility gone from 9% in March to 26% in June, normal forms from 2.5% to 8%!

His DNA frag was also good, 59% normal and that’s good for his age, and 0% high levels of fragmentation, also very good and apparently very unusual with such low motility previously. Relieved tbh, feels like constant bad news for us so it’s nice to get some positive news for a change.

Cleared to start ICSI, just waiting to get the mmr out of my system 🥴. Maybe late September or October.

@Annny27 hope you're having a nice time away. My appointment is with a gynaecologist I was originally referred for infertility but it's now also to speak about the adenomyosis and possible endometriosis as well.

@Motherofkittens28 massive congratulations lovely! So glad you got your day and you look absolutely stunning and happy in the pics xx

@thislittlebird great news on the SA outcome, you both must be chuffed! Did you have a lovely holiday?
@Sunbird24 fingers crossed lovely 🤞🏾
@Marvellouslymadmum when's your appointment? Soon I hope!

@becarefuloutthere yeah I’m pleased because it should hopefully increase our chances of ICSI being successful. Good improvement in numbers, didn’t expect it. He took the holiday as an excuse to have a supplement break so I’m a little concerned he undid some good work but hopefully not.

The holiday was weird tbh. It started off nice, then it got taken over by family meet ups and then the interview and job offer dominated events. It became very stressful and I was very upset about doing ivf alone while he’s living on the other side of the country, essentially. It’s a good opportunity but it’s not going to be easy. I wish the holiday had been elsewhere really because the same family we were meeting with are the family we’ll be living by sometime in the near future and just....ugh. I wish we’d been away alone near no one else and could have spent more time together before he goes to live with his parents for months. It was a very mixed trip, did not end that great.

@becarefuloutthere 23rd august I think so still a month to go, I was thinking I should check in with the gp again because of the second long cycle in a row as well as the extra bleeding but I'm not sure there's a point as she'll probably just say wait for my appointment

@thislittlebird sorry about your trip, I know it's not the same as it's not as far but I moved up near my oh's family when we moved in together because his sons both live up here, I have felt alone at times but ultimately everyone is at the end of a phone and my family may only be 1.5 hours away but it's still not close like before. I've made friends up here and I actually enjoy living in the area too, hopefully things will look better for you once you're down there with him - it's a beautiful part of the world

@Motherofkittens28 big congratulations you look amazing 🤩

@thislittlebird ah ok so he took the job then! Sorry to hear the holiday wasn't too good. Does he move away quite soon then? Just wondering if you can squeeze in a long weekend just the two of you somewhere?
@Marvellouslymadmum the sad thing is that you're probably right! Defo keep a diary of it all so that when you are seen you can go bk over your cycles. Your appointment is the day before our wedding anniversary so hopefully that's a good sign! X

That big "don't talk to me" sign didn't work! Just before I went to sleep, my husband's favourite time to have deep and meaningful chats, we start chatting about my anxieties around ivf (he wants to go private, which is only a few months earlier than us going to nhs- I'm worried about having extractions from private and then extractions from NHS and whether I need to exhaust all the private frozen embryos before NHS becomes an option, as well as just the fact that I'll be putting my body through this process twice in less than 6 months) and then hits out with "I don't know why you talk about how mentally exhausted you feel by the "fertility admin" (POAS/BBT/vitamins/timed sex) surely it's just as normal as making a cup of tea for you now".

Why he would try this on the 2nd day of my period where I cry at adverts on the TV, never mind having a chat about things that are genuinely upsetting for me, is a bloody mystery!

He was baffled by how upset the conversation made me, and kept saying he has no idea how all of this makes me feel because he just feels on the sidelines while I'm either doing the fertility admin in my daily life (he's also doing some but not as much obviously) or he can't see any downside to IVF because it's our next step so can't see why I'm not sharing that same mental space he is.

Rant over!

@becarefuloutthere I've been writing all sorts down and have lots of info on my apps so I'll be bombarding them with it at the appointment lol

@Tofu35 I honestly think men don't understand this journey for us at all and they certainly don't understand the hormonal changes and how they effect us!

I know I commented on the other thread all read so won't repeat myself but excellent news on the results @thislittlebird

Oh @Tofu35 big hugs I'm so sorry to hear about DH's lack of empathy. I support what others say, unfortunately men just don't get it, and I don't say that lightly, but it is different for them. They Don't understand the monthly disappointment in the same way we do, everytime AF arrives what a painstakingly difficult thing that is to go through! It is throughly mentally exhausting.

Thanks @miw01 @marvellouslymadmum. He bought me some m&s flowers today to say sorry for upsetting me. I'm sure we'll have similar conversations over the next few weeks/months, but hopefully now he's seen how emotional all this is for me!

@Marvellouslymadmum good girl! 👍🏾
@Tofu35 they really just don't get it unfortunately. Nice he's bought you flowers to say sorry tho, that's very sweet of him. I think he'll defo start to get it more now, mine did once I really broke down about it all.

@Tofu35 glad he realises the error of his way and may have a bit more empathy in future. It's like the hormones just add to the cocktail of unnecessary stress etc. Madness!

@Tofu35 hope you are ok, like everyone’s said, sadly it’s really hard for our partners to truly understand what we’re going through. I don’t think my DH realised the extent of IVF until the first time he watched me stick a needle into myself and I think at that point, it dawned on him how much I was having to go through and was then super supportive!
Nice to hear that your DH apologised and bought you flowers though! 💕 Hope you are feeling a bit better now x

@Tofu35 aww that's nice, sometimes when I get upset I know I'm being unreasonable but I just can't stop it, other times I get upset and the oh just doesn't seem to get it, hope he will realise how hard this is for you now.

Thanks everyone for your lovely replies today, feeling a lot less weepy today and joined a gym(!). Hoping it will do my mental health (and physical health!) some good if I get myself a wee routine, even if it's twice a week doing some gentle cardio and maybe a class or something. Time to take better care of myself!

@Tofu35 great positive step to take! I'm sure you'll enjoy it too 😊

@Tofu35 I joined a gym a couple of months ago, go with the oh and work out for the same amount of time but think I must be doing something wrong - he's lost a stone and I've lost 0 absolutely nothing! I am not impressed 🤦🏼‍♀️

How is everyone? Are there lots of scans and next ivf rounds booked soon? Everyone's gone quiet 🤐

@Marvellouslymadmum I've been on hols for 2 weeks and now that I'm not TTC until I start my new job in Oct I don't have too much to contribute - hence me being quiet. Still lurking though :)

@Tofu35 although men don't experience it the same way we do I still struggle to give them that pass... it's like I've not had IVF yet can fully sympathise with the ladies on here how tough it must be. It's that sympathy that seems to be lacking in men?? Like you don't have to experience something yourself to have sympathy for what someone else goes through...

Am on a semi health kick atm. Figured now that I'm on a TTC break and will be doing IVF at the end of the year/early next year potentially this is my shot to get a bit fitter/slimmer. Had my weigh on Monday and was so bloated after my holiday excesses that I've already lost 1.3kg of pure water bloat lol. If only weight loss was that easy!

@Marvellouslymadmum is he doing weights whilst you're doing cardio maybe? Also you can't outrun your fork!

@Juno231 ahh hope you had a lovely holiday! I would so love to get away but it's not happening for us anytime soon.

He does more of the weight machines than I do, but I eat more healthily than he does 🤷🏼‍♀️ I just feel like I'm stuck this way forever

@MIW01 I’m so relieved because it just feels like a better chance. Fingers firmly crossed.

Saw the new ivf doctor today, he was very pleased with the 8% normal forms but recommended ICSI/IMSI. Also said I had PCO (not PCOS) I’ve had a no, a maybe and now a yes, so I’m glad that’s as clear as mud.

Seeing the nurse in August, will be on Meriofert, alternating each day between 150 and 225. I’m bricking it. Doing the injections and measuring and stuff alone is scaring the crap out of me.

@Marvellouslymadmum I hope so, I know it will take me a while to adjust because I’m not good with change.

@becarefuloutthere yeah he took the job 😐. We’ll go somewhere briefly before he leaves at the end of August.

@Juno231 hope you had a good holiday!

@Tofu35 I’m convinced they don’t really get it. I’m glad you’re feeling better and joined the gym, I need to do something similar to keep myself sane.

@thislittlebird great news about the improvements and dna frag. You stand a really great chance with ivf/ICSI. Can I ask how long you had to wait for an appointment with Dr Ramsey? My husband had his dna frag test last week with fertility solutions and I am going to book an appointment with Dr Ramsey soon, just waiting for NHS and my clinic to give me all our past test results.

@Tofu35 men process things differently I think and the whole ttc thing doesn't affect them in the same way. My husband only realised the emotional impact once our transfer failed and he couldn't believe I had been going through that every month. It's really good you are able to talk about it though, it's a process and talking it through helps. Is there a reason he wants to go private straight away? I do think you would be able to delay your NHS cycle if you needed a bit more time. I know people have done it when they needed a bit more time to process. Maybe you can check with your nhs clinic? I would say that the physical process of IVF for me was quite easy and I wouldn't worry about doing back to back cycles. It is the emotional impact that would make me want a break as when it doesn't work it completely knocks you down.

@thislittlebird forgot to say I really wouldn't worry about the injections, you pick it up quickly and it's really quite easy. We are all here with you if you need any advice. I can jab myself in my sleep now 😂