Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC how often do you have sex?

31 replies

Frenchie86 · 10/07/2021 11:45

How often does everyone have sex during a cycle? I know I ovulate on day 14, but we still have sex every other day after that (and before, we also have sex everyday in the 3 days leading up to ovulation). I know there aren’t many chances of us getting preggo after OD but still worried I’ll miss something. It’s bloody exhausting. Anyone have any success stories with not BD that often?

OP posts:
xoJellybean · 10/07/2021 13:40

Following because I'm also exhausted 🤣

TheDaydreamBelievers · 10/07/2021 16:07

If you are 100% sure you ovulate on day 14 (eg temping every month that means your FF or naturalcycles app always says CD14) then DTD CD 9, CD11, CD 13, 14, 15, CD 17 would cover all bases. So 6 shags per month.

But if you are just using an app that estimates, you cant trust that. Even on a 30 day cycle

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 10/07/2021 16:14

I conceived 3 of our kids on just one go.
will you hate me if I say we didn't TTC or is it still helpful to know?
if the latter I'm happy to share more details.
(if the former I apologise, it's not my intention to rub it in!)

DramaAlpaca · 10/07/2021 16:18

I had my three kids in the days before OPKs existed. I'm sure I ovulated around day 14, so we concentrated our efforts on that day and a day or so either side. It worked for us.

Original poster
Frenchie86 · 10/07/2021 17:09

Thanks for the advice. It really helps. @ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba not at all, would love to know more.

@TheDaydreamBelievers I’ve been TTC for 3 years so have done it all, temp, ovulating sticks etc now just use the ovulating sticks as the temp was making me anxious, so I do know it’s definitely CD14. I did get preggo end of last year but sadly had to terminate at 13weeks as the baby’s heart wasn’t formed properly.

I’m just so desperate to get pregnant again that I’m trying everything but equally just exhausted, so from what you all said I might just concentrate on the period leading up to it and not worry too much about afterwards, and just have sex if we feel like it (remember that?).

OP posts:
TheDaydreamBelievers · 10/07/2021 17:31

Oh god @Frenchie86 I miss having sex just because I want to...

So sorry to hear about your loss. My only pregnancy was lost at 12 weeks so I know some of your pain (unexplained end of T1 loss). x

Original poster
Frenchie86 · 10/07/2021 17:45

@TheDaydreamBelievers I’m so sorry for your loss too, it’s really shit. Having to deal with the grief of losing a baby as well as not getting pregnant easily is pain on so many levels.

I can’t actually imagine having sex for the sake of it 😂 one day we’ll get back to that hopefully! I think if I’m not pregnant this cycle I will just focus on the ovulation window and that’s it, far less pressure that way x

OP posts:
whoknew23 · 10/07/2021 17:50

The month I conceived I only had sex maybe 3 times, of course it was the first month in ages I wasn't using OPKs.

This isn't a brag, I had a miscarriage the month before and couldn't face trying again so soon or using opks .

No idea what I done different , before the miscarriage it had taken something like 14 months to even get there.

Original poster
Frenchie86 · 10/07/2021 17:54

Hi @whoknew23 sorry to hear you had a miscarriage, but congrats on your pregnancy! Sounds like maybe you didn’t put as much pressure on yourself either. I feel like I might give OPKs a miss next month too as I know when I’m ovulating so I’m not sure why I’m still using them, adds another level of stress!

OP posts:
TheDaydreamBelievers · 10/07/2021 18:00

@Frenchie86 @whoknew23 Ive stopped using OPKs. Because I have repeated LH surges in mega long cycles they were just getting me hopeful about ovulating and stressing me out. Also super hard to do at work. I temp and have regular sex and thats it.

Cotswoldmama · 10/07/2021 18:05

I think you need to stop trying as Nd just see what happens. For me 'trying' was stopping contraception and seeing what happened. We had sex the same amount 2-3 times a week and got pregnant both times within about 3 cycles, some cycles were long as I'd come off the pill I think with my second it was 2 cycles and j was pregnant on my third but that took 3 months.

TheDaydreamBelievers · 10/07/2021 18:08

@Cotswoldmama Im glad it worked for you but OP has been trying for 3 years, so unfortunately regular sex just isnt enough for some of us to be so lucky!

@Frenchie86 - are the NHS offering a referral to fertility services yet or have you been trapped with the same horrible catch 22 as me "oh well you conceived, so you need to wait another full year after that loss"?

Katefoster · 10/07/2021 18:14

When I got my flashing smiley we had sex every other day then when I got my static smiley we had sex that day and the day after. Got pregnant straight away but know that obviously isn't always the case but just my experience

TheDaydreamBelievers · 10/07/2021 18:16

Sorry @Cotswoldmama, I didn't mean that to sound so narky! I appreciate that relaxing a bit probably does help :) Just having my own struggles atm

Hopefulhedgehog · 10/07/2021 18:26

@TheDaydreamBelievers you were right to sound narky. Totally insensitive advice telling someone TTC for 3 years and having fertility struggles to just relax and stop trying…read the room

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 10/07/2021 18:33

@Frenchie86

so all 3 were total flukes. we never actively TTC-d, we wanted lots of kids so were happy with whatever, whenever.

DS2 - conceived the day before I was supposed to have my period. I didn't know I ovulated so much later than usual

DS3 - I'm not even sure how to best explain. I was still bf DS2 at 8m and had no periods. so either DTD triggered ovulation (apparently it's a thing...though it wasn't spectacular or anything to warrant that🤣) or I just happened to ovulate for the first time after giving birth and it was an incredible coincide.
I had to have an early scan to get an EDD.
It was fun to watch the sonographers face as her braincells were screeching to a halt when I said that my last period was over 1.5 years earlier 🤣

DS5 - my previous pg ended in a MC. took me ages to get brave, but woke up one day and thought that I was mentally ready.
We happened to DTD that evening. The next morning I knew I was pg.

I don't know when I got pg with DS1, DS4 & DD or with the baby we lost - we had no routines or anything.
With DS6 I know it was either of 2 dates, he was the only one that we actively tried to time it right because the clock was ticking.

I hope this is helpful or gives you hope.
I know from the experience of others that stress is very counterproductive to conception and also from their & our stories that sometimes it just happens when you least expect it.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Original poster
Frenchie86 · 10/07/2021 18:36

@TheDaydreamBelievers we had been referred for IVF before we got pregnant actually, had to wait 3 years to be eligible because ours is an ‘unexplained fertility’. We are ‘lucky’ to still be eligible after our loss, but that’s probably just where we live in Surrey.

Will definitely try the sex every other day pre ovulation and every day on the day and the one after.

Appreciate the ‘stop trying’ wasn’t meant in an insensitive way but yes, it’s a bit like people telling me ‘it’ll happen when you stop thinking about it’ to which I reply you tell me how to do that after three years and a loss, because I’d LOVE to know. If I honestly could stop thinking about it I’d do it in a second, even thinking of trying hypnotherapy. Just at a point where I’m not feeling hopefully it’ll ever happen again!

OP posts:
whoknew23 · 10/07/2021 19:30

@frenchie86

thanks , it was a nightmare using opks and trying to schedule sex around my dh and I working shifts .

I still pinch myself that I had him .

Original poster
Frenchie86 · 10/07/2021 19:46

@whoknew23 it makes me hopefully that my time will come!

OP posts:
Trinxsy · 10/07/2021 19:48

I conceived this cycle, our first cycle.
We DTD every other day/every 2 depending on how we were feeling and if we were in the mood. Up until CD21. I have 29 day cycles. We started the day after my period stopped.

Original poster
Frenchie86 · 10/07/2021 20:16

Thanks @Trinxsy congrats on conceiving, amazing to have succeeded on your first cycle!

OP posts:
Trinxsy · 10/07/2021 20:48

Thank you! I have PCOS so we were really surprised. Still only early and my tests aren't too strong yet but definitely positive. Good luck Flowers

mumsophia7 · 10/07/2021 21:19

We DTD every other day from a week before my ovulation and couple days after. I'm not exactly sure my ovulation date so went with what an app said. Then maybe once for rest of the month. I conceived on cycle 1 for my first baby. Currently trying for number 2, on cycle 2. I'm still breastfeeding my first so not sure if that will have an impact this time round. Good luck everyone on the Journey xx

SLT90 · 10/07/2021 23:11

Every other day from end of period until a couple of days after ovulation worked for us ❤

xoJellybean · 10/07/2021 23:14

Do you guys change up the times you have sex? For me and my dh we normally dtd at night, every other night (if we have the energy) due to work etc... we've been trying a number of months now so wondering if that's affecting it🤔