Immune/NK cells - pred thread 28

[myrainbowjourney]

Hi Ladies

New thread 🥰

If you comment to hold your place. I'll try and tag as many as I can xxx

Hi everyone, wondering if anyone has any experience of having had a uterine biopsy? I had one on Tuesday and have had bleeding since Thursday like a heavy period. It’s so confusing because it’s so like a period I’m wondering has my actual period come a whole week early! But maybe this amount of bleeding is normal? Xx

Mine was pretty much like a period and I think from memory it caused an early period for me. They didn’t tell me that would happen!

How is everyone else doing? I’ve been really depressed. We had to stop our first round of IVF which seemed to be going well as my husband had a bike accident and broke his neck and back. We didn’t even get to egg collection. It just felt like another massive blow. Now my autoimmune condition is flaring and I’m waiting for yet another cycle.

My oldest friend gave birth to a son yesterday. She was given a 1% chance of success through IVF but fell pregnant naturally at about the time I miscarried. I’m happy for her but so sad for me.

This just seems to be taking over my life and I don’t know how/when to draw a line.

How is everyone else doing?

@Badlydrawngirly I am so sorry to hear about your Husband, what an awful time you're both having. ❤️ I'm thinking of you.

I understand how you feel with your friend, my colleague who I work closely with is pregnant and I find it so tough. I'm happy for her but sad for me too. I think your feels are totally normal and valid.

Me and my husband are one a spa weekend which is nice, but it just makes me realise how depressed I am. I really don't feel like I find much joy in anything at the moment.

I finally managed to have the injection on Saturday and it bloody hurt! I think because someone who does it all the time did it they pressed really hard 😂 it's given me a bruise. Just want to get on with it now as it were.

@SunDance21 thank you so much for replying. I totally get what you mean about not finding joy in anything. I feel like it’s a constant battle to do even the simplest of things and I’m not looking forward to anything.

What injection was it you had? I had got pretty good at the IVF injections but did end up with some massive bruises!

@Badlydrawngirly it was the adalimumab injection. I'm not sure I'd cope with the self medication involved in IVF.

I know what you mean. It feels like everything is an uphill struggle. Just know you're not alone and if you ever want to talk, I'm here 😊

@Badlydrawngirly thanks so much for your reply. That’s reassuring! I cannot for the life of me understand why doctors don’t tell us these things can bring on an early period. Would save a lot of confusion!

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry to hear that you’re going through so much! Your husband’s bike accidents sounds absolutely awful and what a shock for you! Is he doing ok? I’m sure even before this you felt absolutely maxed out in terms of how much more stress you could handle! Life can be so cruel! X

Thank you @SunDance21 and of course I’m hear if you ever want to chat. Is the injection for arthritis or to help with NK cells? It’s all still a bit of a minefield to me!

Thanks @NImama, it’s certainly been one hell of a year! I keep telling myself things have to get better soon! I agree, they really should warn you that it can cause your period to start and then we wouldn’t worry so much!

My NK cells came back within normal levels but my clinic are going to start me on steroids from day 7 just to be on the safe side! Are you seeing Mr S? We didn’t in the end and went straight to IVF.

@VenusStarr I thought I’d tag you and see how you’re doing?! X

@Badlydrawngirly it's for high NK cells. I'm with Dr S, and the protocol I'm on prescribes 2 of these and steroids to reduce my immune system. It also prescribes progesterone, baby aspirin and some vitamins.

@SunDance21 that makes sense. I’ll be on steroids, progesterone, aspirin and clexane and taking so many vitamins (when I remember) that I rattle! I’m also having acupuncture once a week and I’m not really sure what else I can do!

Got to wait for my next cycle to start so we can start stimms again but I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do at the moment!

Thank you for the tag @Badlydrawngirly this thread had dropped off my list.
I am so sorry to hear about your dh, I hope he is on the mend now. I'm sorry you also had to abandon your ivf cycle too. You've been through such a lot this year ❤️

Good to see some positive updates :)

I'm just preparing for a FET, feeling very detached from it all. The excitement and naivety of ivf has definitely worn off.

Lots of love to everyone xx

@VenusStarr so nice to hear from you! Good luck with you FET! I completely agree, I’ve lost all excitement with IVF as it seems completely fraught with problems.

It’s been one hell of a year and I’m really struggling to find even an ounce of positivity!

Let us know how you get on xx

Morning all.. slightly broken night's sleep last night as I had a small bleed last night before bed. Fortunately I have a scan today anyway as I have to go in for intralipids... I'm 7+3. Trying to stay calm as I know bleeding is quite common etc and it seems to just have been a small one. Anyone else experienced this? x

@Lozfish just saw your message, what a worry for you. How did you get on? My fingers are crossed for you that all is perfect xx

Anyone had or know of anyone who has had success at IVF at 38? Been looking at stats on HFEA and all the percentages of success seem to plummet when you turn 38. Feeling like have so little chance of it working now it’s really depressed me. If we had known would have considered doing another egg collection last year. Also any thoughts on clinics in the Midlands? We have been with create birmingham but I’m worried some of their results are worse than national average, although the stats are only based on small amount of data as it’s a small clinic. I also felt abandoned when they signed us over to GP at 7 weeks & feel they should have led decision on when to stop steroids and not just agreed with GP.

Hope you are all hanging in there. Grief counselling is helping with the mmc, I’d recommend to anyone who is struggling. X

My friend had IVF at 41 and was successful x

@treesall aw thanks for your message. All was well, strong heartbeat and the growth was bang on my dates. He said it's quite common to have small bleeds, no sign of any blood anywhere - so random! Feel like I'm still in the danger zone for the next couple of weeks but am starting to have a bit more confidence as Dr. S seemed very happy. How is your pregnancy? x

That's great news @Lozfish, I'm so pleased for you and relieved. I totally understand how nervous you feel but trust that so far everything is perfect.

All is ok with me thank you, as far as I know. I'm 18w now, and feeling huge. I thought I would relax into the pregnancy now but I'm still largely in denial about it and haven't really told many people. I was with a friend yesterday who is about to give birth and she kept staring at my belly but even then I still couldn't bring myself to say it. My scan is at 21w and if I get that far I'm going to try and force myself to tell people and think about it etc and hope that makes it more real. I will get shot for saying it on here but I al so grateful for my Doppler - I use it twice a day but only for a few seconds - literally find the hb and switch it straight off but because I still can't feel movement I'm finding it is stopping me from going totally insane with anxiety. Xx

Oh @treesall you poor thing, it sounds like your past experiences have left quite a big mark. Are you having any therapy? I totally hear you in not wanting to think of it as real, however I thought I'd share what my therapist told me, which is to try and be hopeful and excited - she said that by constantly living in fear and negative thoughts, I'm suffering twice - before a bad thing happens and afterwards. So I'm really trying to face into my anxiety, I've actually told a lot of people as we agreed that I needed to remove anything that made me feel stress or pressure, and keeping the secret in the past has felt very stressful for me. But if for you telling people is going to cause stress, then it totally makes sense to just keep it to yourself until you feel comfortable. I'm also on anti anxiety medication after my last miscarriage as I knew I wouldn't be able to cope with any future pregnancies, I think those and the therapy are helping me. The fact I managed to get any sleep last night after that bleed was unthinkable about six months ago. Let us know if we can help at all - we all know exactly how you feel 😘😘😘

@treesall I second what @Lozfish fish says, and I would encourage you to get some therapy during pregnancy. I didn't, and I wish I had. I spent the whole pregnancy thinking it was going to end horribly. I definitely had a detachment and couldn't see a baby being ok at the end of it. I found my history not only affected my pregnancy, it also had an impact when he was born. Things are much better now but in the early days I was just in total disbelief that he was here and he was ok. I even found his name triggering and I realised I never used it. We chose his name really early and I would never use it in pregnancy, but my husband, mum and couple of close friends I shared the name with did, it almost made me flinch, and this continued when he was born for the first few weeks. I then made myself say his name as much as possible (within reason!) and now I use it normally, but I can't help but think maybe I should have had some therapy during pregnancy. Maybe it wouldn't have helped, maybe I would have felt the same regardless. Who knows.

I'm so pleased to hear yours and @Lozfish pregnancies are progressing well. Sorry to hear about your bleed @Lozfish - I had the same at 6.5 weeks, bright red blood, but all was ok and never had any more.

I'm still thinking of you all on here, and hope you all come through it

PS I know I said I'd leave but I like to check in now and then to see how you're all doing ❤️

Hey guys,
Hope you don't mind me sharing but I'm struggling so much. Been having therapy for the last few weeks but just find that nothing seems to help. I just can't seem to move on from losing our baby girl (we looked at the report in the end). The grief feels almost more unbearable than it first did; like physically painful. Dr S seemed to think that if we tried again that I could continue on hydroxy etc and no changes to treatment plan but I just can't bear the thought of going through this again. Sorry for the negativity, just helps to share I guess.
@Badlydrawngirly I'm so very sorry to hear about your other half, I really hope he makes a quick recovery.
Xxx

@Tumby this is exactly the place to come and vent ❤️ I am so sorry that you're feeling this way. It's completely understandable, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

If you need to take a break for a week, month, year or decide that you won't try for a baby again, that's totally understandable and okay. This is a horrible path and a horrible thing to be going through.

You're only human. It's natural to feel the way you do. I'm just so sorry you're in this situation and on this group ❤️

Thank you @Tumby. I’m so sorry for what you’re going though. I completely understand and this last loss has been the hardest of all and I’m really struggling. It’s easy for Drs to say try again but they don’t carry around the grief with them. I’ve not been ready to start therapy yet but I do know I’m suffering from PTSD.

Sending you big hugs xx

Thanks @Lozfish and @Daffodil21. I am genuinely ok, i really don't feel I need or want therapy, I just feel overwhelmed about telling people and it being real. We told my in-laws a few weeks ago and they've been a nightmare since and I hate it! They are really pressuring us and saying how unfair it is that they can't tell the rest of the family and how it's "extremely difficult for them that we are asking them to keep a secret". This is why I didn't want them to know but trying not to say "o told you so" to my husband who assured me they would understand and not pressure us. 2.5 weeks til my scan and after that if it's all ok I will tell people.

@Tumby I'm so sorry you're struggling. I don't think you should be surprised that you feel you cant "move on" - there's no reason you should, you've had a terrible, heartbreaking experience. In time, things will eventually feel slightly less raw, and you'll feel a little more able to cope, but don't feel under pressure for that to happen quickly. You need to take whatever time you need and not feel pressured to 'heal' under anyone else's timeline. Don't apologise for being negative, this thread is here for support and can be an outlet for all things, both the good, the bad and the ugly! Sending you lots of love xx

Arg just deleted everything I just typed!

@MATTSMAMMA thanks I am struggling with trying to work up some positivity just desperate to be one of the lucky ones.

@Badlydrawngirly I hope your husband will be ok. Will you be able to restart your cycle soon?

@VenusStarr I also have lost all excitement for ivf. Feel like have to do it as it’s probably our only chance of having a baby but don’t really have any faith now that it will work out.

@Tumby I am also really struggling after loss, it consumes all my thoughts. Every time I feel like I’m doing a bit better I then feel worse. I know that’s how grief goes but I just wish it didn’t hurt so bad all the time. Grief counselling has been helpful for me and I would recommend it. I’ve been seeing a counsellor that deals specifically with baby loss and has experienced this themselves. I think this is probably a lot more helpful than just seeing a general counsellor.