Missed miscarriage: experience or advice?

[GeorgiaMcGraw]

Hi everyone. After ttc for 6 months, dh and I were over the moon with my positive result. We had our 12 week scan yesterday, and after I had had normal pregnancy symptoms throughout, were devastated to be told the baby had stopped developing at 7-8 weeks and had no heartbeat. I'm at home now, waiting for the miscarriage to complete. Has anyone experienced this, have any advice? I was told to maybe leave it a week before asking for meds to induce it. I'm scared of what will happen, what I will see, but also desperate to get back to trying. Just gutted that we won't have our baby in October, and if it takes several weeks for my miscarriage, then have to wait a cycle, the earliest due date would probably be March 2022 if lucky. Then I feel guilty that I just want it over with, but there's nothing I can do (or could have done) to save this foetus. Sorry for the essay x

Morning hun. So so sorry. Similar thing happen to me. Had a mc at 11 weeks. Didnt make it to my 12 wk scan. Can only think baby stopped growing before than. It was hard as I didnt know what to expect but I thank God it happen natural. Read to many negative stories about surgery etc. So hard cos only God knows why it happens. Since then fell pregnant but also bleeding again at 5wks and this is how the last one started. 🤷‍♀️🥺. I've read some ladies bleed for unknown reasons and still have successful pregnancy. I have call booked with gp and after bleed with call epu. I doubt they will be able to see much now anyway. I hope ur ok anyway 🙏

@ILoveGod2 thanks for your reply and sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I really hope this one isn't a miscarriage too, as you say, sometimes bleeding can happen and the pregnancy is fine. I suppose we have to remember that even if we have 1 or 2 miscarriages, the next pregnancy could be absolutely fine x

I'm really sorry for your loss, @GeorgiaMcGraw. My baby stopped developing at about 6 weeks, I found out at a scan at 8 weeks, and I miscarried naturally at about 11 weeks. I absolutely hated the waiting (and, like you, am now counting the months until I could possibly have another baby), but for various reasons they wouldn't give me the medication and I ended up miscarrying naturally. It was very painful, but only briefly - about an hour - whilst I've heard that medical management can be more painful.

I hope you heal quickly x

@number32WindsorGardens thank you, sorry for your mc too. I think it's not knowing how long I have to wait for it to start that is killing me. I'm going to take some Dong Quai to try to encourage my body on a bit. I'm surprised they wouldn't give you meds for it, I guess every Trust will have different approaches.

Sorry for your loss
I had a scan and found out my baby stopped growing at 10 weeks. I was sent home for two weeks to wait for the bleeding to start, unfortunately it didn’t so I was given tablets and spent the night in hospital to manage the miscarriage.
I found the waiting to bleed really difficult, take care of yourself OP.

@ladybigbeach thank you, sorry for your loss too x

Hey, I couldn’t read and not reply to you bless you, this was me a few years ago I honestly didn’t think I would get through it. I went for my scan and was told the baby had no heartbeat and like you I was told to wait a week. Nothing happened in that week so I was offered medical management or surgical. I chose medical so I had medication to make my body realise the pregnancy had ended and then I think it was the next day I went In just for the day and was given medication to make me dilate. I passed the baby around 6 hours later, I had to ask for some diamorphine for the pain it was like really bad period pain but wasn’t unbearable. I passed what needed to come and then I was allowed home, after that i don’t remember any pain really and just bled for a few weeks like a period.

I’ve gone on to have a full term healthy pregnancy and now I am carrying my second.

I hope you are ok? Please don’t be scared it will be okay and you will absolutely get through this, you can dm me if you have anymore questions or anything x

I had a MMC in 2018, baby had stopped growing at 5/6 weeks and on,y found out at a scan at 13. Seems my body hadn’t realised the baby had stopped growing. I had a D&C as they didn’t think it would happen naturally (after my body not realising for so long). Mentally it took me a long time to get over it, I felt like I wasn’t good enough and took a lot of processing; for me.

Positive note: I became pregnant again in May 2019 and had a scan at 6 weeks where I found out I was carrying twins, cue the most worry I have ever felt. I was petrified for the whole of my pregnancy that something was going to go wrong and I wouldn’t know. My girls are currently playing next to me and are 14 months.

It feels like crap and like no one gets it but we do. It’s ok to mourn for what might have been and to feel rubbish. I found talking about it helped me and I don’t shy away from talking (if someone asks, I don’t randomly start chatting about it). I hope you are ok.

I had a MMC in Nov at 8 weeks after TTC for 3 years. Mine happened naturally a week after my early scan. I felt and went through everything you’ve described. I’m sorry you have to go through this too. Life is so cruel sometimes. I had a scan after the initial bleed and was told it hadn’t completed. Took the pessaries they gave me at the hospital and nothing further happened. Booked for a D&C, but fortunately I asked for a scan the day before and they told me it had completed naturally with no further bleeding.
The reason I’m telling you this, is because I think I had the follow up scans too early and I got different advice from the nurses compared to the doctors on what to expect pain and bleeding wise which panicked me.
I wanted to rush to the end, to be able to try again, but would have saved myself a lot of distress if I’d have let nature take its course. We’re now 3 months in to trying again and no luck conceiving yet, but a dr recently told me that it can take our bodies a few months to fully recover and I didn’t feel right until recently. I’m totally hung up on my due date too. I would have given birth in June and I was hoping to be pregnant before then again. With my last period, it meant I’ve missed out on having a baby this year.
My advice is to go through the grieving process and let your mind and body heal, whatever route you take with the MC. And wishing you lots of luck TTC again.

@GeorgiaMcGraw so sorry to hear about your loss. I had a loss discovered at 10 weeks in December. I left it 1 week but psychologically I needed to be able to move on and opted for surgical management. I have to say whilst being devastated, I felt surgery was the right choice for me having read horror stories about medical management.
Have you got private healthcare with work at all? It’s an avenue to explore if NHS is not offering any intervention. I have to say that mine happened in the second wave and I was offered medical or surgical intervention by the NHS so if you didn’t feel able to wait I would push them for options.
Sending you lots of strength, it is a horrendous time xx

So sorry this is happening to you, its shit isn't it.

I had a mmc in early December at 10 weeks, it had stopped growing just after a scan showed all was fine with heartbeat at 6+4. I started spotting at 10 weeks exactly, 12 hours later cramping and heavy bleeding started and then 2 days later I passed the sac. I then was given the drugs for retained tissue but they did nothing, and my period arrived as normal barely 3 weeks after the mc began, about 10 days after it ended, which was good.

So that was December and we conceived again in February, currently 9-10 weeks now if all is going well. I've found it very difficult after the mmc because I had so many symptoms last time and they meant nothing so its so difficult to wait for weeks to pass this time, I had an early scan at 8 weeks (I found out at 3 weeks so even that was a long wait!) due to bleeding but would've paid for an early scan if I wasn't having that one.

@Jjss113 thank you so much for your kind words and sharing your experience. I'm glad to hear you're on the way to baby number 2, that's wonderful! X

@algebraicyourleg thank you for sharing, and how amazing you've had twins afterwards! That would have terrified me too x

@NRE20 thank you for telling me your story, that must have been heartbreaking after the long wait. It is hard to know what to do and I'm glad you got the all clear before the d&c. I wish you the best of luck in ttc again, hopefully it won't be long before a positive and a good scan result x

@kitte321 thank you, I'm glad you were able to get the right treatment for you in the end. The midwife said they don't like surgery for such an early pregnancy. I'm hoping for natural, but will posdibly ask for medical if nothibg is doing after a week or so x

@Garman thank you, and I'm really happy to hear ypu have conceived again. I hope this pregnancy goes well for you x

I found out at 7w+5 that baby had stopped growing. I waited 9 days for the bleeding to start and although the waiting was awful I think it helped me accept and come to terms with the loss. So when the bleeding started I was mostly relieved and I wasn't so sad. In my mind the MC had already happened so I wasn't too upset about the actual process. If its any reassurance, I had a period 4 weeks after the bleeding started (2 weeks after it stopped) and although we had planned to wait 2 cycles before TTC again, I accidentally got pregnant after 1st cycle...I think my ovulation date was a little out of synch after MC. So far this pregnancy is progressing normally.

@raggeo thanks for that. Sorry for the mc, but I'm glad this pregnancy is normal so far, good luck x

@JJSS123 congrats and sorry for your loss. May I ask if you did anything different from your last mc pregnancy and how long did it take with your second pregnancy?

@IloveGod2 hey! The only thing I did different was took a higher dose of folic acid, which I wasn’t told the first time round was better for me due to my BMI.

I honestly do think it’s one of them things, it happens for a reason and being told that when you’ve just lost a baby makes you want to absolutely scream but now I look back I think that. I actually fell pregnant with this baby within a month! I use the glow nurture app to track my periods and ovulation. I used this with both of my successful pregnancies. (Not the first one because I wasn’t actually trying so had no reason to) it’s a free app and I’ve gotten pregnant with the date for ovulation it’s given me within a couple of months the first time and a month the second.

I think you can buy the 5mg of folic acid on Amazon, I don’t know if just anyone can take it so you will need to check that x

@JJSS123 I currently take 5mg of folic so will just continue that. Thanks sor your response and I pray your pregnancy goes well 🙏

@IloveGod2 thank you ❤️

Wishing you lots of luck health and happiness, it will come x

Morning my love,

I am so sorry for your loss. It's hideous, isn't it? I'm sending lots of love.

Some things to consider:

• Sometimes the medication to 'complete' doesn't work and you need surgery. The surgery is a piece of cake, doesn't come with any pain and will bring everything to a nice clean end.
• It's a bloodier process than I was expecting. Try to prepare yourself for that.
• I found that buying some nice wine, fancy cheese, pate - all the stuff I'd avoided for the pregnancy period - was a real comfort.
• Hot water bottles are your friend.
• You will probably want to WFH for a while if that's at all possible.
• You might find people are a bit awkward when it comes to talk about it - but you absolutely must talk about it if you want to. Your pregnancy was as real and valid as anyone else's.
• Apparently you're super fertile after a MC, so once you're cleared to try again, if you feel ready, that can be a comfort.

@GeorgiaMcGraw sorry to hear this, it is a horrendous experience.

I found out in April 2019 that I'd had a mmc at a scan. I eventually opted for surgical management as I read a lot of horror stories about medical management and I was just too worried about going through the experience myself.

The surgical management was the right option for me. I never lost my symptoms either, right up until I was wheeled into theatre I had symptoms. It'd taken 8 months to conceive and I was devastated.

I conceived again in December 2019 with my dd and had an easy pregnancy.

@GeorgiaMcGraw I'm so sorry for your loss, this happened to me in February. I went for my 13 week scan to find out that both my twins had stopped growing at 10 weeks. I'd had an early scan at 6 weeks and saw two heartbeats, I was having pregnancy symptoms the whole time, I had bad morning sickness, no bleeding, etc and to find they had both stopped growing was a complete shock.
I didn't want to go through a natural miscarriage, especially with twins so I had a D&C two days later. It went absolutely fine, no horror stories here and recovery was quick. I'm currently having my first period which is 5 weeks post D&C and looking to start ttc once this cycle ends.
I'm so sorry to everyone on here that this has happened to, it's such a shitty thing to go through.

@littlegwyneth thank you for your kindnessand very useful advice. I must admit, I was already on the soft cheese last night with a lovely glass of wine! I've stocked up on pads and painkillers, and wfh anyway due to covid, but my manager has been really kind and told me to take sick leave whenever I need it, so that's helpful.
@chanel05 thank you, that's good to hear your surgical management went well, and I'm really happy your next pregnancy went so well :)