TTC 2 years

[Lasagne30]

Hi all,
Me and my partner have been TTC for almost 2 years now, just looking for some friends in a similar situation. I am currently undergoing fertility testing. My partner has super sperm so it would appear that the problem lies with me. I also have adenomyosis, however I was told that this does not neccessarily affect fertility. Yesterday I had a HSG test, which was quite unpleasant, I experienced really bad cramps which I am told can mean I have blocked fallopian tubes, although the doc that performed the procedure said everything looked good. Just waiting on results. Anyone else experiencing any similar situations?
TIA
Lasagne30

Hello @Lasagne30
I'm in a similar position.. Came off contraception 3 years ago and just thought it'll happen when it happens, then after 12 months I started tracking cycles and actively TTC for 2 years. Now undergoing testing. It has taken 12 months just to get through all the initial tests... Bloods, semen, smear etc which came back as normal. I've got my HSG tomorrow, an ultrasound the following week and 2nd appointment with consultant mid April. I have no symptoms that suggest what might be wrong, except for not being able to get pregnant - I have normal regular periods, no unusual pain etc. We're both 33 & no children already. The waiting and not knowing is the hardest part. Hope you don't have to wait long for results.
Good luck
L x

Yes I understand it can take quite a while to get booked in, a lot of the nurses don't make it easy but occassionally you find a good one that goes above and beyond for you. Good luck with your HSG. I have my follow up appointment mid May. Stay positive and keep me updated. It's nice to know I'm not alone :)
Lasagne30

No, you're not on your own :) I had my HSG today and it wasn't half as bad as I was expecting but I have no idea of the outcome. They didn't give me any indication and just said the images will go to my consultant who will discuss it with me in my follow up app which is in 4 weeks. I saw the images on screen but couldn't make much of them myself and wish I'd asked more questions now. I've got an ultrasound next week, so will see if that tells me anything.
Are you expecting to have to have a laparoscopy next?
L x

Ahh so you are one of the lucky ones haha As soon as they pushed the dye through for me I broke out in a cold sweat and the pain started. Not pleasant at all. Yeah I wish I had asked what the result was too because now I have to wait 2 months to find out. I was almost thinking of calling and seeing if they will email me the results; my doctor has done that for me when I checked my progesterone levels.
My ultrasound showed no abnormalities apart from the adenomyosis so as far as the laparoscopy procedure, I am hoping she doesn't want me to have one. Last I spoke to her she said that the HSG was the last test she would like to do before prescribing some fertility drugs like letrozole.
And to be honest I am kind of over being poked and prodded. Just give me the drugs haha
Is the laparoscopy the next step for you after the ultrasound?

Must be one of the lucky ones then - it was no worse than a smear test. I’d heard a lot of horror stories before going so definitely not as bad as expected. The not knowing results is worse! I suppose there’s no harm in calling and asking - 2 months is a long time for you to wait and wonder. My Dr hasn’t said much about treatment options yet (drugs, surgery or ivf), I guess she’s waiting to see if the issue is tubal blockage/damage, so I only know what I’ve read online about possible next steps. I guess I’ll find out in a months time, but hoping tubes are fine and don’t require a lapo for treatment or further investigation. Fingers crossed for us both!

Yeah, I too, made the mistake of googling reviews on it haha I wasn't too concerned about it. I get bad cramps every month so I was prepared but it still sucked because I couldn't move at all. Yeah, I have heard that they do the lapo if your ultrasound shows lesions or fibroids so maybe it's subject to that.
Fingers, legs and arms crossed 🙂

Lasagne30

Definitely not on your own, 5 years in now and after all tests diagnosis of unexplained infertility. Consultant said there is literally no reason that it shouldn't have happened by now and that it must suck - which was lovely for someone to acknowledge that in such a straight talking way. We are 35 and 39. We were told no rush fertility wise but obv a rush in terms of how long this has been going on for us so we are on the waiting list for ivf and still trying in the meantime. I stopped tracking etc long ago as I was driving myself mad and also by 60 cycles in I pretty much know my days for everything off by hard. Wishing you both lots of luck with everything

@Curlymarbs oh that must be hard, I suppose the benefit of actually finding something is wrong, it can then probably be fixed, or you at least know where you stand sooner rather than later. I’ve been tracking cycles for over 2 years and definitely know myself very well now haha. Ive heard lots of couples say it happened when they stopped trying so hard, so I really hope that ends up being your story too Do you know how long you’ll be waiting for IVF?

@Curlymarbs I agree, this must be so difficult for you. I hate how they say that, unexplained fertility. Nothing should be unexplained. There has to be a reason, they just can't find it haha Wishing you the best of luck xx

@ljayc What day of your cycle did you get your HSG? They say that it can increase your chances by up to 30% for the next 3 cycles so here's hoping the next 3 months are full of baby making time! Unfortunately I missed my first one because I ovulated earlier than usual and missed it which was annoying.

Lasagne30

@Lasagne30 Oh mine was on day 9, so ovulation should be coming up and I’m usually like clockwork. I’ve heard a lot of people saying they conceived in the months after the HSG as the procedure can clear minor blockages, so I hope that’s all it needed!! I’m definitely kicking myself now for not asking questions at the time of the HSG. I was very quiet in my initial consultation too - it was all new, I was trying to take everything in and it was a lot of questions and information in a very brief phone call which ended with her saying she would send out all the relevant info to me anyway and that in the upcoming weeks I would receive appointments for the HSG, Ultrasound and follow up with her. I waited a month and started chasing it up to find nothing had been arranged, I called all the hospital departments myself to get booked in so not sure what happened there. I started off this process very chilled but more recently I’ve become more impatient and google the hell out of everything. I have a million questions ready for her at my follow up haha I might actually prepare a list. But I’m also conscious that stressing about it all won’t help! How are you finding it all? x

@ljayc ooohhh hopefully it happens first try! Wouldn't that be exciting!
Yeah they say to write down all your questions so you don't forget any at the time, it is very overwhelming with all the info. I was the same. My partner said "make sure you ask all the questions, don't let them do anything you're not comfortable with" and then at the actual time I just go blank and forget everything I wanted to ask haha
Yep, I was the same, had to book all my own appointments but got knocked back several times when I first tried to do it. They sure as hell didn't make it easy.
Yeah everyone keeps saying that stress is no good for TTC but how can you not?
My partner is very chill about it and he says it wouldn't bother him if we couldn't conceive but I think he just says that because he doesn't want me to feel bad.
It's definitely nice to have someone to talk to who can relate. I haven't told anyone that we are TTC just in case we had problems and here we are. I didn't want all the 'poor girl' sympathy if you know what I mean. But the down side to that is I can't vent to anyone about it. So thanks for that haha

@Lasagne30 We are definitely in very similar situations! So hard not to worry and stress about it, and the long waits between tests and appointments is frustrating. My partner is also much more laid back about it all than me - he’s definitely less conscious of the fact that fertility declines with age for women and talks about how it’ll be nice to one day have a big family as if I’m still in my 20s haha. I haven’t told anyone we’re TTC either, for the same reason as you. To be honest, one of the only good things about lockdown for me has been avoiding certain social situations haha - seriously I don’t know how many more friends and family events I can handle, being the only woman without a child and repeatedly asked by people why I “chose” not to have kids. I’m usually vague and say I still might do, they then remind me I’m no spring chicken, but rather that than pity! And yes, hopefully the HSG trick works for us both - wouldn’t it be great for us to moan about pregnancy instead of TTC for a change haha!

OMG yes! Even my own mother said to me "You know its harder to push them out the older you are!" I was like 🤨 But yes I would definitely prefer people thinking I am choosing to wait rather than have the pity. They can mind their damn business lol
My brother in law accidentally got his girlfriend pregnant just after we started actively trying and they have had that one and another one in that time. I must admit, that has been particularly hard for me, I try to avoid them as much as I can because I feel like they can pick up on my negative attitude towards the whole situation. I try not to, but honestly it's hard, especially seeings as he used to say how he never wanted kids at all.
But yes, positive vibes for us for the next 3 months! Atleast being miserable when you're pregnant you get something out of it at the end! Haha
Lasagne30

@Lasagne30 No, I totally get it, it’s so hard! I’m similar. I started to dred meeting up with a certain group of friends with their bumps and toddlers. We’d watch their kids play together and they’d all talk about parenting the entire time. I started avoiding the get togethers because I just used to come away feeling 💩
and a few years ago, after I miscarried, my best friend, my sister in law and younger cousin all announced they were pregnant and my family had a big gender reveal for my cousin on Xmas day (around the time I would have been due) and although I was soooo happy for my cousin, I secretely cried in the bathroom - it was exhausting putting on a brave face all day, especially with all the jokes about me being childless (I hadn’t told anyone about the mc). But yes yes yes to the good vibes! You never know, with the drugs you might end up with 2 for 1!!! When’s your 2WW? x

@ljayc Yeah sometimes you have to distance yourself for your own health-that shit can put you in a really bad spot mentally. That's awful. I don't know how I would handle a miscarriage. Probably not well. Were you far along?
I used to work with a girl and she was the only person I had told that I was TTC and she said "Oh yeah I want another kid and I get pregnant REALLY easy" so she went out and got pregnant on purpose to some random guy she didn't even know and I had to watch her grow each week and in the end I just told her I didn't want to know about it or talk about it. First of all I didn't agree with the way she did it and secondly, it was like she was rubbing it in my face. Our relationship became toxic and she eventually resigned when she was due.
In reality, it probably wasn't as bad as I built it up in my head but I just felt like everytime she would say she was soooo exhausted she was poking at me and I just hated her by the end of it.

It's almost like having so much trouble TTC has made me sour towards anything child related. I really hate that it has done that to me.

I have heard that the drugs can encourage multiples and tbh twins actually already run in my family so that would be interesting! Lol

AF is due in about 2 days and like I said, I'm fairly certain I missed my ovulation this month (and obviously no sex before the HSG so really no chance) so I will have to start fresh next cycle.

So I take it you're on about day 14 now? Hope you dusted the hubby off and took him for a ride or 3 this week 😂
Lasagne30

It was a while ago now, straight after coming off the pill before we’d really started trying - I was about 10 weeks. It was pretty awful but I didn’t know I’d have difficulties TTC again and went back on the pill for a bit after that. I’d be devastated if it happened again now after years of trying!
Your ex work colleague sounds a bit insensitive, especially since you told her you were trying, and not sure that’s the right way to go about finding a sperm donor really!
Problems TTC has definitely created a bitterness in me too haha.
Ohhh you never know then!! I know having multiples carries greater risks (and must be bloody hard work), but I still think it would be amazing!

Hopefully you’ve still got an increased chance for the next couples of months. Do you use ovulation tests?
CD14 today so fingers crossed and legs uncrossed this week 😂

Hey @Lasagne30 how are you getting on? I had my consultation yesterday and was diagnosed with “unexplained infertility”. The HSG showed tubes were completely clear and ultrasound showed no issues and that I’d just ovulated. They’ve exhausted all tests and so I was offered option to go straight for IVF or if I first wanted to try 6 months clomid to hopefully ‘boost’ ovulation, but I asked for both 😆 I was told the wait to start the IVF process can be about 4 months so I asked for a prescription to take in the meantime, which she agreed. Your long awaited consultation must be coming up soon so I hope it goes well for you :)

Sorry that message before last didn't notify me for some reason.
Yeah it would be particularly devestating now.
From what I understand, the pill doesn't have any affect on your fertility, even if you have been on it for an extended period of time. That's what my doctor told me anyway.
To be honest, I wouldn't mind having twins, knock 2 out in the one go and then take my bloody uterus out and throw it to the wind! Haha I'm sick of it!
Yes, I am hoping! I just got back from holidays and my fertile days fell smack back in the middle of them, currently on day 24, 10 DPO by my calculations.
I have tried to use the dip tests, but I always seem to just miss it, I never actually get a full positive, just a faint line.
I use my CM to track my ovulation, it seems to be the best way for me. What about you?
Ahh that sucks! But atleast she put you on Clomid! From what I've read there are heaps of success stories of people using it. Good luck!! 😁
Consult is still a month away! Taking forever 🙄 But hopefully this month is the month and I won't need it! Fingers crossed

@Lasagne30 I totally agree about the twins! When she was doing the prescription she said she had to first warn me that there’s a higher ‘risk’ of having twins and I was like, bring it on. Two at once is better than none for sure!
I used to test for ov but am so regular I stopped bothering and just check every now and again but can usually tell when I’m ovulating, I always get mild pains around day 14/15 and TTC throughout fertile window to be sure.

Yes - hopefully you won’t need the consult anyway and recent HSG and a busy month of trying will help haha! I guess you’ll find out next week!! 🤞🏽 I’m day 9 but will have drugs in me next month so hopefully that helps if no joy again this cycle! Unexplained fertility is so frustrating - after trying for so long, something obviously isn’t working right but hard to fix what we don’t know, so we’re just trying everything, including trying to reduce stress, eat and sleep better etc. But on the bright side, the poking and prodding is done at least for a while hopefully :)

Hahaha well when you have 2 toddlers getting into everything and anything I will send you a screen shot of that 😂
Yeah see thats one thing I never got, O pains. Apparently they're not that common.
Yeah I think they should change it from 'unexplained fertility' to 'useless doctors' haha
There has to be a reason!
Yes, I to am glad thats over. You start to feel like a guinea pig after a while lol
So is Chlomid a pill? I thought it was an injection.

@Lasagne30 It’s 5 pills (1 a day taken on days 2- 6) and it’s for a max of 6 months. Too late to start this month so I’ll start taking in May, but referred for IVF anyways and she said I should expect to have had my first consult with them by July/Aug at which point they’ll tell me to stop the clomid, so I’ve maybe 3 or 4 tries before resorting to IVF. So depending on your cycle and consult date, you probably won’t be far behind me with starting the drugs - we can moan about the side effects next 😂
I moved house in Dec and consult also advised to get my GP changed over to my new area ASAP as it falls under different CCG that offer 2 IVF rounds whereas CCG in previous area only offer 1 round (madness since I only moved a couple of miles), so I went and changed doctors the next morning!

Ahh okay, well hopefully you get lucky with Clomid and don't have to go through the hassel of IVF. Oh really? Isn't that strange. Ah well the more help you can get, the better.
Can I ask, do you get PMS symptoms?
Since going off the pill, I get really sore boobs a couple of days before I get my period, but I am trying to figure out if you get the same symptoms from early pregnancy. I know the same hormones rise before period and once you're pregnant but I imagine things are different for everyone.
I am currently on day 27 today so I guess I'll know real soon anyway.

My main PMS symptoms are bloating, fluid weight gain and constipation, but also get mild cramps, spots on my chin, anxiety and irritability, increased appetite some months, and very occasionally I get breast tenderness. PMS v Pregnancy symptoms are so annoyingly similar, it’s hard to tell isn’t it.
I always start analysing everything around day 27/28 😂
I think some of the few symptom differences for a lot of people in early pregnancy are sickness/nausea, nipple changes and spotting but like you said, everyone’s different so who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️
How long are your cycles usually?
Oh I really hope this is your month!!!🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽 It’d be a Christmas Baby! 🎁

Yeah well I've never had pregnancy symptoms so I'm not sure if there will even be a difference. Wow you get lots of symptoms haha That must suck, I really just get tender boobs, I mean, really tender; if I sit down too harshly, omg it is agony. And I keep my partner at bay with a 2 foot long stick 😂
Usually 28/29 days every month but the longest I've had was 36. I was so sure I was pregnant that month and then was devestated when AF showed up.
So, no baby this month. Well, I suppose I will see the specialist next month and hopefully she puts me on Chlomid to kick start something in there.
Call me crazy but I think Christmas is hectic enough without throwing a birthday in the mix haha I'll be happy with any other month baby lol