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First Fertility Clinic Appointment Tomorrow

964 replies

dogmam · 04/01/2021 18:07

Me and my partner have our first appointment with our fertility clinic tomorrow!

We went to the GP after a year of TTC and after 21 day bloods and partners SA, we were referred straight away to the fertility clinic. GP tests were in October/November so it's moved along quite quickly so far.

Feeling slightly nervous but also excited to hopefully get some help! My partners SA showed low motility and morphology so I assume that will be discussed..
What else should i expect from this first appointment? Is there anything I should be asking?

Thanks in advance! I'll update this after the appointment tomorrow as I know there are a few others on here who are in a similar position and might find it useful.

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Juno231 · 04/01/2021 18:34

Hi OP! No words of wisdom here but following as I have my appointment in less than a month. I assume you're taking OH with you?

From what I gather they just go through your test results and then schedule you in for repeat tests, things like chlamydia tests etc and maybe even an HSG/hycosy referral? That's only from what I've seen in other similar threads though!

Kitekat81 · 04/01/2021 19:06

@dogmam following as I have my first appointment in a couple of weeks and also have no idea what to expect! Same as you I'm both nervous and excited 😊 Would be very interested to know how it goes tomorrow, good luck!

NewMumOrpington · 04/01/2021 19:15

At our first clinic appointment, DH and I had a chat with the doctor about ttc / lifestyle / general health / supplements. We were then referred for more tests.

Me
Internal ultrasound *2 (at specific points in cycle)
Repeat bloods including thyroid function
HyCoSy scan

DH
Repeat SA

Then scheduled to go back when all the results were in. Lots of encouragement to keep trying. I felt very positive afterwards.

Good luck - hope it goes well!

IPokeBadgers · 04/01/2021 19:24

Hi dogmam

Wishing you a positive experience...and if you proceed with treatment like ivf, a positive outcome. It's a tough thing. I've largely blocked out a lot of my fertility treatment and IVF experience as it didn't work for us and I found it all v stressful.

Yes to what kitekat said about going through test results and scheduling additional ones.

Be prepared for the focus to turn to you.... We went into our appointment, similar to yourself where inital tests had shown more issues with husband than me... And the consultant pretty much poo-pooed that and went through much of the appointment talking about the disadvantage I was at being forty and fat.... I found it quite upsetting as there were no punches pulled at all. Basically because he knew tht I didn't meet the clinic bmi requirement for treatment.... So was told to go away, lose weight and come back when I had lost enough to come in under the bmi requirements.

A lot of fertility docs are men and I found their bedside manner to be... Well... They don't want to give false hope and some of them just lack it altogether.

Sarah239 · 04/01/2021 19:29

Hi @dogmam your story so far sounds very similar to mine. Sending good wishes and best of luck for tomorrow!

We have been TTC since June 2019, spoke to GP August 2020 (over phone) after a year, I got bloods and partner had SA done. My hormones were all normal apart from "slightly elevated testosterone" and partner's SA showed low count, morphology and I think suboptimal motility too.

To be honest, the first fertility appointment (which we had late Oct 2020) was a bit of an anti-climax for me, I was hoping for more progress but they basically said for him to take supplements (and brazil nuts...!) with zinc and sellenium, repeat count in 6 months, and for me to have a HyCoSy (which I still haven't arranged but going to this month if I get AF). They require you to take a chlamydia test before HyCoSy too. Beyond that, they just said - keep trying - it may well happen and often does before 2 years - as they haven't yet found anything seriously wrong and my cycles are regular. And in the summary letter it said we wouldn't be eligible for NHS funding for IVF until we had been trying for 3 years (which was a shock to me - I thought it was 2 years). Apart from that, it was all about our lifestyle really - jobs, diet, smoking/drinking - and what my period/cycle was like etc.

Since the appointment in October, all that's happened is that we received in the post the sample pot for the 6 month SA test and an information leaflet for booking HyCoSy. FYI they also say you can't have sex (protected or unprotected) for the entire cycle in with you have the HyCoSy. Because of the ink used in the scan.

If I could have that first appointment again (which is still all I have had so far), I think I would ask for more clarity on what options were available to me and the timeframes for each.

Personally I am thinking about pursuing private IVF if we really do have to wait 3 years, but I was also advised not to mention private treatment at an NHS appointment as it may affect NHS eligibility? That is only what I heard though so please don't take my word for it. Obviously not sure if that is an option for you anyway.

Wishing you the best of luck and be interested to hear how it goes.

Juno231 · 05/01/2021 16:03

@Sarah239 thank you! I had no idea about abstaining the month of hycosy - I think I'd find the idea of missing out on an egg a bit upsetting! I've heard the same about not mentioning private fertility treatments but so far it all sounds like hearsay and nothing I can find concrete evidence for? I'm sure it's right though!

Juno231 · 05/01/2021 16:03

@dogmam hope today went well! Do please update us with how it went :)

Kitekat81 · 05/01/2021 16:45

@Sarah239 @Juno231 I didn't know that either about abstaining for a HyCoSy! Likewise I would be pretty gutted to miss out on an egg, I'm 39 so might only have 1 or 2 good eggs per year, what if that was one of them? 😢 Not sure how my partner would cope without for a month as well 🤦‍♀️

That's interesting too about not mentioning private treatment, I hadn't heard that before.

dogmam · 05/01/2021 19:03

Hi ladies, we have had our first appointment today, although over the phone due to Covid. It was for both me and my partner, we both had to be there.

So the Dr was female and very lovely. First half of the appointment was asking me questions, second half asking partner questions and then at the end we got to ask questions and put together a little plan.

She asked me how long we had been ttc (15 month), asked about my cycle (which is normal every 28ish days), asked about medical history (none for me), asked what my period was like (I said I spot for a few days, then full flow for 2 days then spot, she said that was normal and fine), asked how often we DTD (I said every 2-3 days but more during fertile week), she asked what job I done (not sure why), she confirmed my 21 day bloods that I had done from my GP, showed I ovulated, i also mentioned that I do opks which she didn't discourage but said aren't 100% accurate, I said I get peak day 16 so think I ovulate day 17 and was it a problem that i only have a 10/11 day luetuel phase and she said that it was fine and wasn't a concern. She asked about alcohol and smoking which I don't do.

Then my partners questions were if he had previous children (No it's both our first), asked if he uses steroids (he doesnt), asked if he has protein shakes (he used to when he was going to the gym a few month back but not anymore so she didn't comment further but I assume he would be told to stop them.. new one to me?!), asked if he smokes and drink (doesn't smoke but does drink although said he has stopped for dry Jan, she asked how much he used to drink and said it was over the weekly limit because it was), asked if he was taking supplements (he's taking wellman conception). She discussed his first SA done by the GP in October, basically motility and morphology is low but count is very high which she was was good. I asked if it was possible to concieve naturally with those figures and she said yes as it only takes one.

So the next steps are, repeat SA for partner as it's been 3 month. Vaginal scan for me and full bloods, thyroid etc. She then said if I want to, I can also have the fallopian tubes checked but said it's uncomfortable and my choice. I asked what she thought and she said why don't I just do the scan and bloods first then when I'm getting them done, decide if I want to book in for the tubes check, if I got that done, they would also have to test for chlamydia etc.
We would then have phone consultation to discuss results who h she think would be around March time by the time everything comes back (very impressed with how quick everything is happening!). I then asked about future plans depending on results.. if all comes back well, we continue to ttc naturally and wait for the 2 year mark which will be October, then begin IVF. However, if second SA comes back with no improvement, we will go straight for IVF treatment (again, very shocked at how quick this could all be happening!)

Overall, I feel really pleased that we are making steps forwards and mostly that they seem to be so proactive with wanting to get us booked in straight away for tests. So we now are waiting for the letter in the post with our test appointments.

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dogmam · 05/01/2021 19:11

@juno231 @kitekat81 hope my rambling helps for when you both have your appointments soon! It's nice we are all at similar stages!

@newmumorpington yeah pretty much exactly what you said! I also feel really good about it! Where are you up to with everything?

@ipokebadgers I'm so sorry you didn't have a great first appointment, I think you're right about the male bed side manner. Think I just got lucky!

@sarah239 thank you so much for all that info, it was really helpful and made me prepared! Sorry you didn't have a great first appointment! It's really down to luck with the clinic and the consultant isn't it. That's so unfair that you have to wait 3 year for treatment, I feel lucky that it's a 2 year wait where I live.

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IPokeBadgers · 05/01/2021 19:29

@dogmam it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things now but it did upset me at the time. I think what I was trying to say was just for anyone going into the fertility treatment process to be prepared for just how personal and invasive it is in so many ways.... It is difficult on physical/mental/emotional levels and I wasn't prepared for that.

Kitekat81 · 05/01/2021 20:26

@dogmam thank you so much for this detailed account, that is so helpful! I'm really glad that you found it a positive experience 😊 and glad too that they are moving quickly for you! I feel a lot better prepared now with all this information! Our first consultation is also with a female doctor which I'm pleased about 😊

dogmam · 05/01/2021 20:33

@ipokebadgers I can totally understand that. I guess it's a hard enough time in your life as it is, without the sometimes unnecessary harshness. I think, perhaps the staff are just 'getting their job done', so to speak, getting to the point and fact finding, possibly forgetting it's not just the physical treatment we need but also mental support. I reread your origional post, and understand you have blocked out your past experiences or at least tried, so thank you for still offering me advice about this.

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Juno231 · 06/01/2021 16:35

Thank you so so much for this @dogmam this has been super helpful! I'll make sure to prepare answers for all these things ahead of time as I can imagine getting a bit flustered remembering it all on the spot.

@paintfairy I'm looping you in as it's relevant for you too - please note it was a phone call due to covid but at least still went ahead!

Juno231 · 06/01/2021 16:48

@dogmam btw I think the protein shakes might be due to the high soy content? Can mess with testosterone production i think.

paintfairy · 06/01/2021 17:13

@Juno231 thanks

@dogmam can I ask how old you are? I don't think I have the luxury of waiting until we've been trying 2 years. I'll be 39!

dogmam · 07/01/2021 08:53

@juno231 yeah that might be a good idea, to have a think about some of the questions and answers you should give as it did feel like a bit of a quick fire round of a quiz haha although having said that, nothing too challenging or where I finished thinking 'ahh I wish I worded it this way or said that'.
I think you're right about the protein shakes. Honestly, pre ttc, who would think that normal things like that could effect fertility.

@paintfairy hi! Im 30. Ahh that's understandable why you're worried, although I'm pretty sure where I am, age over 35 doesn't have to wait. Same with the GP initial tests, if you're over 35 the usual 1 year of ttc is reduced to 6 months so presumably the same applies for the clinic, otherwise you would just be sitting with the clinic for longer. Have you had a referral yet?

@kitekat81 let us know how your appointment goes! I'm still feeling really positive and looking forward to the appointment letters coming as it means things are happening!

Also, if anyone is having a phone appointment instead of face to face for their first consultation, I was worried it wasn't going to be the same, not as in depth or 'official', but I felt as though we got the same attention as we would have if we were there, deffinetly doesn't feel like we missed out of anything.

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paintfairy · 07/01/2021 08:59

@dogmam my referral took forever because my gp kept doing my blood tests wrong! But it's finally gone through now, I'm waiting to hear from them.

Juno231 · 07/01/2021 09:25

@dogmam ha tell me about it! I saw a post on reddit the other day where a guy realised that his TTC had probably not been going well because he'd been using their hot tub regularly all winter lol!

dogmam · 07/01/2021 09:37

@paintfairy hopefully not too much longer to wait.

@juno231 well I mean before ttc I wouldn't of had a clue! I don't think I even really knew there was just a small window in the cycle or anything, just stupidly thought it would happen regardless of anything else!
When's your appointment? Do you know if there's anything that is stopping you ttc or are you both pretty healthy?
It's a funny one because on one hand obviously I don't want to go through the trauma of ivf but on the other hand if say my partners second SA comes back low again, it could mean a quicker route to having a baby rather than having to wait until October and keep on trying for it to maybe not happen naturally and still end up having ivf.

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Juno231 · 07/01/2021 09:44

@dogmam mine is on the 3rd of Feb unless it changes due to Covid. I'm glad you had yours over the phone but I've seen others on here already have theirs cancelled. There's nothing wrong with us so far - SA was really good and all my tests are fine. My TSH is slightly elevated which could be affecting my fertility a little bit. But it's still within the normal range as per the NHS so the GP said it will be up to the fertility clinic to decide whether to do anything about it. Perhaps I just need more time... I'm not keen on letting things take their course though as I have a family history of early menopause and don't want to be caught out by that (mum at 31 and her granny at 30)

Kitekat81 · 07/01/2021 19:45

@dogmam thank you! Ours is next Thursday, 🤞 it will go ahead, it's a face-to-face appointment. I think I will try and prepare answers in advance as much as possible, and take a list of questions with me so I don't miss anything. I always get really nervous in the moment and forget everything I want to say, and then regret it later!! 🤦‍♀️

@paintfairy I'm 39 too! How long have you been trying?

@Juno231 this might be a stupid question but is soya milk bad for testosterone? My partner has it on his porridge every morning 🤔 Lol he also loves jacuzzis and would usually be in one 3 or 4 times per week as he has a swim membership! It's been a relief that it's been closed since March so it's not had to be me telling him not to go. He keeps saying that he can't wait until they re-open again, I'm like noooo remember we had that discussion about how you can't go in jacuzzis if you want us to get pregnant!! 🤦‍♀️ He has a really short memory for these things 😂 On a more serious note, do you know if your mum had any warning that early menopause was coming, like perimenopause symptoms, or did it happen quite suddenly?

Flutterby8 · 07/01/2021 23:00

This has been really helpful! Spoken to the GP and we are being referred to a fertility clinic too. No idea on time frame or anything but at least the ball is rolling.
Im so apprehensive about being referred, not sure why, just hope it happens naturally between now and then! The only thing that has come back for either of us is a low progesterone for me. Even then the GP didnt pick up on it in my 2nd set of bloods so I had to call to speak to them and point it out.
Im crossing fingers for everyone!

Juno231 · 08/01/2021 11:42

@Kitekat81 I'm not sure what quantities he'd be needing to drink/eat soy but it's recommended to cut down as it messes with testosterone production. Then again we have entire countries eating things like tofu, seitan etc regularly without fertility problems so... If it worries you though there's no harm in switching it to oat milk though!

@Flutterby8 Can I ask how low it was when you pointed it out? I always wonder if GPs just follow the tick box "oh it's over 30 so you ovulated" but don't pay attention to it perhaps being too low to sustain a pregnancy...

Kitekat81 · 08/01/2021 17:08

@Juno231 thanks, I think I'll do a bit of research on soya milk and whether it might affect fertility!