Struggling to conceive after miscarriage

[WildflowerPetals]

Hi everyone,
I had a missed miscarriage back in April - baby had stopped growing around 6 weeks but I only found out at my 12 week scan.
Me and DH have been TTC ever since but haven’t had any success yet. I’m now on my 7th cycle since the miscarriage.

I had some hormone bloods done at the doctors but they all came back normal and they won’t do any other tests until we’ve been trying for 12 months.

I just wondered if anyone else had struggled to conceive after a miscarriage? Or if anyone had any suggestions for me?

A bit of information about me...

• I’m 27 (28 next week) & DH 29
• TTC #1
• 31 day cycle with 10/11 day luteal phase (although this months has been 12)
• Usually get positive OPK around CD19
• Myself & DH have been taking conception vitamins since the miscarriage
• Stopped taking contraception (POP) around July 2019

Any help would be appreciated x

I should add all I changed was using a digital clearblue OPK and pre-seed xx

I’m in a similar situation, miscarriage at 7 weeks in March. We have been trying since with no success, got my period today and feeling really down about it all. I’ve messaged my doctors to get the ball rolling with tests, it’s just under a year but I’ve lied as by the time they actually get round to doing them it won’t be far off. I’m very lucky that I already have a 15 month old, but am struggling as after getting pregnant earlier in the year I was expecting a small age gap. Now the potential age gap is getting bigger each month it’s just a constant reminder of the loss.

Just adding to the stories. I had a MMC July 2019 and finally conceived again this October. The internet seems to be full of stories of being super fertile after a miscarriage but it really wasn't the case for me at all.

Hopefully this gives you a little bit of hope that sometimes it just takes a bit longer but I know how awful the wait is.

Thank you all for sharing your stories - it really helps ❤️

Hi @WildflowerPetals I am in the same situation as you. Im 32, don't have any children and had a mmc in Feb 2020 which I found out about at my 12 week scan. It was an anembryonic pregnancy. Had the MC naturally but found out in May it was incomplete after still not having a period. After mysoprostol I got my period 28 days later. That was June and I'm still not pregnant. I've been tracking opks and started temping. My periods aren't the same as before though and I have about 4 days of spotting before any kind of flow. Also no ewcm that I had before the MC and my lutheal phase is 9 days before spotting starts. Blood test said my hormones are "within normal range"
We got pregnant the first month of trying before the MC and now I'm worried it has knocked something out of sync or worse but can't bear to think about that.
I am now waiting for a referral to fertility as it's been over a year but the docs brush me off and say "it's just time, relax etc" not very helpful.
How are you doing at the moment? I don't think lockdown helps does it...Sending a big hug your way xxx

@dustyrose32 So sorry for your loss and that you find yourself in this awful situation. Your story sounds very similar to mine. I had no EWCM after my miscarriage too but I started taking Evening Primrose Oil a few months back and that seems to have worked! I now get some EWCM around ovulation. I’ve stopped temping and using OPK’s as I found they just caused me more stress. My luteal phase is also on the shorter side, like yours, and my cycles are longer than what they were post miscarriage (now 31 days instead of 28). The only thing I’ve managed to get out of my doctors so far is hormone bloods which they say are normal - although they didn’t test my oestrogen but not sure why. Doctors don’t really seem all that bothered and have said I have to wait until it’s been a year since MMC. The waiting is so hard though isn’t it?
I have the same worries as you, that the miscarriage has knocked something out of sync and means I can’t conceive.
I’m okay, thanks for asking, just trying to get to April when the doctors will start doing more tests/refer me. I’ve researched all I can but unfortunately nothing really seems to be helping (other than the evening primrose oil). Hope you’re okay, sending love xx

Hi @WildflowerPetals,
I just wanted to say that I am experiencing the same thing. MMC in June 2020, TTC #1. Initially conceived on cycle 2 so expected to get pregnant again very quickly again, coupled with the fact I was told i'd be more fertile after a miscarriage. Evidently not!!
Myself and DH have had tests with our GP and all have come back normal which in itself is frustrating, like what is the problem then! I always get positive OPKs and have very regular cycle. I too worry the D&C changed something but not sure what?
I've been really working on telling myself repeatedly that it is normal and it can just take a bit more time. Now a close friend has told me she is pregnant, first cycle trying and its thrown me again. Hard to keep telling yourself it is normal to take so long when it happens so easily for others.
It feels like being stuck in limbo land, a really crap one at that.
Anyway just wanted to say you aren't alone!

Hi @Owlbeok, sorry you’re going through this too. I hate that a lot of us have been told you’re more fertile after a miscarriage, it gets your hopes up and makes you feel like somethings wrong if you’re struggling to conceive. How did you and DH manage to get tested so quickly? Our GP is making us wait a year after MMC, which will be next month now, but it’s felt like a long wait. It’s so hard when someone you know falls pregnant - two girls at my work fell pregnant/were pregnant when I was, both weren’t trying and didn’t want a baby for another few years. I fell pregnant after trying a couple months and lost mine. They both went on to have healthy babies - obviously I’m glad all went well for them but it also seems so unfair and was a difficult time for me.
Thanks for reaching out xx

@WildflowerPetals My GP has been saying to me for years that I need to think about having children as it can take some people a long time. I laughed it off as wasn't in a place to consider ttc and now I'm like I should have listened ha!
He does seem to have an interest in the area and is very understanding of the situation. I also had pains around ovulation that I was worried about so he referred me for ultrasound for that. I think it was a bit unfair of your doctor to make you wait 1 year after mmc, it sounds like you will might have to really advocate for yourself with them. There are non-invasive tests that can be done so I don't see why it would be an issue.
It is all truly so unfair and luck of the draw. There is no rhyme or reason why some get pregnant so quickly while others don't especially when there are no underlying issues. Its a mystery!

@Owlbeok It’s good you have a GP who is interested in this field and will take your concerns seriously.
I’ve had some hormone bloods done last Sept but that’s because I was having some strange symptoms around my period and thought my hormones might be off - other than that they’ve not offered me anything.
I tried to make a GP appointment today to see if they’ll refer me for fertility tests yet but they’re booked up for the next 2 weeks, I have to ring in the morning to try get an appointment for 24th March, that seems so far away though! It seems so unfair we have to wait for these tests especially since we’ve already had a miscarriage 🙁

Hi Everyone, so sorry to read all of your sad situations. Miscarriage is awful. I am so lucky that I have a DC but TTC#2 has been so hard. I started ttc in Sept 2019, fell in July 2020 (after what felt a lifetime, my anxiety was through the roof) sadly I miscarried at 12+4 (bleeding started at 11+5) it took until Dec/Jan 21 for my cycles to return and I've been trying ever since with no success. I wish I had never heard that your supposed to be more fertile, because that certainly hasn't been the case for me. I'm so worried that was my last chance. I'm 32 but DH is older. I refuse to give up hope but it's so hard and I feel this whole process is unbelievably cruel. It's your positive stories that keep me going. So I really hope there is more positivity on this thread and you are all on your way to achieving your rainbows or we can get through this journey together!

@Emilou89 So sorry for your loss and sorry you find yourself here. I got a positive pregnancy test in April, a year after my previous MMC. Unfortunately, I'm now going through my second MMC. Really hoping it doesn't take that long to conceive again as going through it for that long takes it's toll on you. I also hate that you get told your more fertile after a MC, being told this it made me feel like something was wrong with me when I'd not conceived after 6 months. At 32 I don't think your age will be much of a factor at this point (from what I've read), has your DH has his sperm tested? I hope you get your rainbow baby soon x

Hi @Emilou89 and everyone on this thread. I posted here a while ago and was really low after not being able to conceive after a miscarriage.
I hope it's ok, but I wanted to come back on and let you know that I am pregnant again. It took 14 months and I didn't do anything differently than any other month (apart from maybe have sex less!!)
I'm still worried this will go wrong but cautiously optimistic and wanted to offer a glimmer of hope to anyone who is finding it difficult.
So many told me it would happen quickly after the miscarriage but actually I found that really unhelpful as I kind of expected it for the first few months before I started spiralling thinking something was wrong which was not good for my mental health.

There's a lovely lady on Instagram Alice Rose who helped me through the emotional side. Sending so much love to all, you are so strong xxxxxxx

@dustyrose32 Congratulations! How far along are you?

When me and DH conceived again (after 11 months) all we did differently was have less sex and tbh that month we didn't even really try - I wasn't tracking my days and just generally had given up. I really didn't think I'd get a positive that month so was so surprised when we did. Unfortunately it ended recently in another MMC but maybe there is some logic behind relaxing and not "trying" so much, which I know is VERY annoying to hear as it used to annoy the hell out of me when people would constantly say "just relax!". I know it's sooo much easier said than done. You can only relax properly when you're ready or when you've given up. I'm just scared it's going to take us nearly a year to conceive for the 3rd time x

Thank you @wildflowerpetals So sorry to hear you are dealing with this awful experience again. How are you doing? Will you GP do any tests for you, or are you giving it some time? (sick of worrying and hearing about time haha!) @dustyrose32 huge congratulations! I hope your feeling OK, I imagine its an anxiety ridden yet exciting time! Genuinely really pleased you posted because it's happy endings that give me hope to be honest. Thank you for sharing!
I had 21 day bloods this month which confirmed I didn't ovulate (I assume that anyway, they came back abnormal, I'm awaiting a GP call on Friday, so reading between the lines I think abnormal usually means didn't ovulate) so I don't really know what happens next. I assume I won't be offered any meds to help me ovulate because I already have a child. I've already changed my diet massively. So I guess I just wait and keep hoping!

@Emilou89 I'm doing okay thanks, how're you? EPU said they can't refer me to the recurrent MC clinic until I've had 3 as it'll just get rejected but they said my GP could refer me and they might accept it. The only thing is, we wouldn't be able to TTC for 3 months while we had the investigations and I think we just want to get on with trying again. However, it took nearly a year to conceive last time so if it takes that long again then we might as well have had the tests - I'm in two minds about what to do. I think if your bloods confirm you didn't ovulate then you have them done again the next month, and if they show your not ovulating they investigate further/prescribe you something to help you ovulate.

Oh @wildflowerpetals it's a tough one isn't it, I find the whole decision making process really hard. I can't understand why (it's probably obvious) but why you can't ttc for 3 months whilst having investigations? And in this scenario that feels like a long time doesn't it! Despite in the grand scheme of things it really isn't! But it's the length of time it takes to fall that I find really hard and sorry if this seems insensitive but since my mc I just feel like it was all such a waste of time. Have you given it any thought on what you plan to do? Hope your getting on OK?
The GP is reluctant to do the test again yet, she's told me to give it a bit longer, relax and then we will test again and she will look into things from there. I'm contemplating myo-inositol but I'm abit nervous incase it completely alters my cycle. I'm not the most regular and not ovulating this month is going to make it longer but I don't know if this month is a one off... Argh all the decisions. Ttc has turned me into a fruit loop I'm sure haha! I wish I could just forget about ttc and all the things I've learnt. I much preferred it when I was naive! X

@Emilou89 I don't know why you can't TTC for 3 months when having investigations, I assume it's so they can complete everything rather than possibly having to stop half way through. I agree, 3 months when TTC seems like such a long time but it's not really. Me and DH have decided we're not going to push for the investigations just yet, we're going to TTC and if we do then I'm going to take aspirin, as apparently that's the first thing they try at the recurrent miscarriage clinic anyway so we may as well try get one step ahead! Then at least we know if we MC again, we'll definitely be referred to the clinic. However, if we struggle to conceive again I might revisit the idea of having investigations.
Sorry they won't do the blood test again, I never understand why GP's are sometimes so reluctant with blood tests. I've never heard of that, is it something you can get without a prescription? TTC seems so simple doesn't it yet when you're actually in the thick of it, it's really not! X

@WildflowerPetals firstly I am so so sorry for your losses and secondly I know this is an old thread. I have just come across it and your situation sounds exactly the same as mine, ttc #1, had a chemical pregnancy in June 21, then a mmc in Aug 21 as baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks. We are on our 6th month of trying with no luck now which I know isn’t really really long but when you’re living through it you really start to give up hope. I wondered if you minded sharing if you had managed to get your rainbow baby yet?

@tar08 So sorry for your losses and that you find yourself in this situation. I'm currently pregnant for the third time, I'm 14 weeks which is the furthest I've ever got!

Have you had any investigations? I had bloods done and found I have a blood clotting disorder called Factor V Leiden, which most likely contributed to the miscarriages (I'm currently on blood thinners to help support this pregnancy).

One weird thing I noticed was when I fell pregnant (the second time) I'd just had my covid vaccine. Since I was struggling to conceive for the third time I thought I'd try time my booster jab for the same time in my cycle as the time before, and it worked! I've no idea why this made a difference, but I've heard that the jab alters some women's cycles so it might have something to do with that and/or the vaccine affecting my blood condition.

Sorry I can't be of much more help. But if you have any questions just let me know x

Hello @WildflowerPetals
Thank you for creating this post! It’s really comforting to know I’m not alone. I hope you and your baby are doing well.
My husband and I fell pregnant first time trying in August 21 which resulted in a MMC and ERPC in October. We have been struggling to conceive again ever since and not knowing why or what’s going on in my body is so frustrating!
I was very interested to hear about your success after having the vaccine, as I’d also seen a couple of others in the Flo app say it helped them conceive.
Please could you share exactly what point in your cycle you had the jab in order for it to work for you?
Also, with regards to your bloody thinning disorder - what type of blood test was it that revealed this? Just so I know, should I need to request bloods at any point. It’s such a minefield, I have no idea where to start!
Thank you in advance :)
X

@Koalie Sorry for your loss and that you're struggling to conceive again.

I had the vaccine on day 11 of my cycle, which for me is around a week before I ovulate. It's interesting you've seen others have said they believe the vaccine helped them conceive, I wonder why that is. I've read of people saying the vaccine effected their period so I wonder if that's why.

When I spoke to my GP I requested bloods to test for APS, so she ran a full blood clotting screen. The test that picked up my specific clotting disorder was the Thrombophillia screening (which is a coagulation profile). I think if you ask your GP for bloods to test for APS, Lupus and other clotting disorders, they should just run a full screen that will include many different tests.

Hope this helps x

That’s incredibly helpful, thank you so much! I actually got covid a week after I ovulated this last cycle and it brought my period on 5 days early ! .. not the two lines I was hoping to see on a test.
I hope you don’t mind me asking but what was it that prompted you to request bloods for APS? X

@Koalie You're welcome 😊 Oh no, that's rubbish! I hope you're feeling better now.

Basically, I was desperate to have any sort of testing done and I looked through loads of different forums on here to find out what sorts of tests people had done. From this research I knew that APS can cause miscarriages, and I knew that blood clotting disorders was one of the first things tested for when you get referred to a miscarriage clinic. So, I thought I'd try my luck and see if my GP would do the tests after 2 miscarriages (instead of the standard of 3), and luckily she was more than happy for me to have the bloods done x

I am feeling much better now, thank you.
That’s very interesting - so you didn’t have any symptoms of the disorder? How fortunate that you asked for the tests!!
Perhaps I will start making a list of things I should be asking for. I know that some people who miscarry have low progesterone and that further miscarriages can be prevented by suppositories so I was also planning on getting a home progesterone testing kit for whenever I fall pregnant again. I feel like as grateful as I am for the NHS, we certainly seem to have to take matters into our own hands when it comes to fertility and ttc.
Were there any other tests that you asked for that I should perhaps add to my own list? Sorry for all the questions and thank you so much for your help :)
X