9 months TTC and absolutely nothing

[acaciabluebell]

AF arrived today and feeling especially hopeless. I've reached 9 months TTC now. Can't help thinking that if I had gotten pregnant the first month I'd be about to give birth about now.

Feeling very low today. The 12 month mark is looming and I never thought I would still be here. 😔 Anyone in a similar position? I'm TTC#1. Never even seen a shadow on a pregnancy test and I'm 25 with no known health/reproductive issues.

Hey, I don't have any advice (I really wish I did) but I'm in a very similar boat. I'm on my 8th cycle of actively TTC and have a feeling I'm out this month.

It's so tough and I've found it so difficult especially with all of the pregnancy announcements at the moment.

I know it's easier said that done, but I'm really trying my best to keep myself busy and try to put it to the back of my mind and remain as positive as possible. I say this after having done about 6 tests in 3 days..!

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself and be kind to yourself. Sending you lots of love x

So sorry to hear that guys @acaciabluebell@mrsrichy.

I've not got any advice either but can totally relate. Came off the depot a year ago, 1st period took 8 months to arrive, now 3 months later im anxiously waiting whether AF will make an appearance next week or not...

Been doing loads of tests despite knowing that even if successful it probably wouldn't show up yet.. its so tough! Fingers crossed for both of you. Maybe we could keep each other same on here?

I feel like so many of my friends have recently announced that they are expecting and OH and me have agreed that we wouldn't share with folk that we are trying to take the pressure off so don't have anyone IRL to talk to...

Hi,
I know how hard it is every month af coming. I tried for about 15 months before getting my bfp and it really was the month I relaxed because I had my lap operation booked in so I thought screw it! Hang in there, don't lose hope it will happen x

I'm on my 9th month too. 2 possible chemicals but so faint it's hard to say. It sucks right! My first due date would have been 5 days ago. At the time I was absolutely convinced I'd probably be pregnant and worried about having a baby so close to Xmas if it took another month of TTC. Now I'm wondering how much money I'll need for IVF

Hi there,

This would have been my 9th month of TTC too and I was thinking to myself “if I don’t get a BFP this time I am going to start worrying there’s something wrong” but luckily I got my BFP this time. I did a few things differently this time and it’s obviously worked. So first of all I don’t think we were doing it enough in the days running up to ovulation, my husband has a physically and mentally tiring job so often it was difficult to get him to have sex during my window. I usually aimed for the day of ovulation and we did it once maybe twice during the window. We had a big heart to heart (there were tears on my part!) and he agreed to make more of an effort.

So my friend had recommended the clearblue fertility monitor to me. You can buy the latest expensive model if you can afford it or you can do what my friend recommended and buy the older model second hand off eBay (side note; I thought that would be gross but your pee doesn’t actually touch the monitor) it works just as well as the newer version! So all you do is you enter your first day of your period and it will ask you around day 7 of your cycle for your pee sticks. So pee on the stick, pop the lid on and click it in. It will give you several high days and two peak days. The high days are when it detects estrogen (which is what causes EWCM) so to my surprise it gave me 7 HIGH days and then my 2 PEAK days. I had been missing all these fertile days because I couldn’t see any EWCM but it was obviously up there! So we BD

5 days before
4 days before
2 days before
Day of ovulation

That’s the most we have ever done it during my window and I also used preseed every time which was new (didn’t tell hubby as thought it would kill the mood, I just went to the bathroom before and popped it up there lol)

So on my second time of using the monitor I got my BFP. My friend got hers the 2nd time and so did HER friend who recommended it to her!
I think I was really discounting the days before ovulation and focusing too much on my peak days. Also, if you don’t already BBT then you should. It will tell you exactly which day you ovulate AND I also knew I was preg because your temp always drops the day before your period and mine stayed high. I used the app Fertility Friend for tracking BBT.

I would honestly say you can’t go wrong with the monitor, it took the stress out of guessing when I was going to ovulate for me and allowed us to hit my most fertile days in the run up! I got mine on eBay for cheap so it’s worth a try!

Thank you so much! Oh yes I think that definitely looks like you’ve done it enough! Similar to my days that we BD. I’d say you are in with a good chance this month! I also had a temp dip during my TWW and then it went straight back up the next day which I think could have been an implantation dip? Here’s my chart so you can see. The AM, PMs are when we BD

Sorry I don’t why that came out fuzzy! The AM PMS are when I had sex for anyone who doesn’t use Fertility Friend

Yeah no problem, it is helpful to compare! My luteal phase is always 15days! My temp dip was 11dpo

@lola19 that's such good advice! I have tried temping and also clear blue OPKs on and off over the last 8 months but haven't been very strict. Temping confuses me SO much.
I will get myself some clearblue OPKs for this month and be strict with the temping. I need to do some research over what to look for with the dips though lol.
I was so gutted when AF arrived this morning as this month we had covered all fertile days, but hey ho :)

Thanks I’m glad i could help! Yeah you just need to be consistent with the opks and your temping! Test with your CB opks every day from around 7-10days after the first day of your period! It is expensive but worth it! Have sex as much as you can during the flashing faces and then on your peak days! You need to get as much a perm as you can up their waiting for the egg!
After ovulation when your temp rises and stays high some women (not all) get an implantation “dip” where your temp drops significantly for one day then shoots back up and stay up! I also never had any implantation spotting or bleeding which i was suprised about!

@Lola19 Thank you for the tips! My husband and I have always had very frequent sex (every other day generally and every day when I notice that I have EWCM). I normally am able to judge ovulation pretty well by EWCM and ovulation cramping. So we should be catching ovulation every time but nothing is happening.

I might give preseed another go however. I used it a couple times a while ago and I found it quite... messy lol but I've heard such good things I should probably try again with it. If we're timing everything perfectly then maybe the sperm needs a boost getting up there (or maybe there's something wrong with my eggs/tubes/uterus...scary thought)

@CycleGirl20 it's so gutting! I spent the weekend googling fertility treatments and options. Never thought I would ever be doing this.

I tried eight months for DD1 and then got pregnant with DD2 first try- don’t despair, it can be really normal. I was 27/28 with no reproductive issues and regular cycles. I eventually sought the opinion of my GP on month seven who said that as I’d had the mirena in for five years prior, there was a good chance my endometrial layer was thin. She said this is often the case with hormonal contraception, so it might be worth considering what type you were on before. GP sent me for a scan and lo and behold she was completely correct. I ended up having acupuncture to try and thicken it and going on a “thickening diet” (lots of info online) in month eight and got pregnant. Might have been a coincidence but in my opinion it’s an avenue worth exploring if you’ve been on hormonal contraception for ten plus years. I know it’s totally shit- I cried every month. Good luck.

Also, echoing @Lola19 about not having sex enough. Both months I got pregnant with my daughters we literally had sex every day of the month. It’s hard because we both had exhausting jobs, but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.

@galatea098 personally I didn’t fall pregnant any month where we only DTD every other month. But that could just have been us. We literally did it 27 days in a row both times I got pregnant. By the end it was truly a chore!

I've been trying for 14 months OP and in the same boat. Not even a hint of a BFP.

Both had fertility testing done privately and nothing glaringly obvious so I think it's just poor timing.

Not helped by the fact my cycles have been all over the place this year so the months I think we have 100% done it on time it turns out to be wrong.

It's tough sometimes to stay positive about it, especially as EVERYONE seems to be getting f pregnant left and right.

I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but 9 months is well within the normal time frame to conceive. I did read a very recent study which showed these days it’s taking women about 11 months on average. You hear more about the people who fell first time because it’s a more interesting story to tell!

I saw a Dr at 11 months and had some tests. All normal and she said “I’m not going to refer you for any more tests because you still have one more month and you’ll probably be pregnant by then!” I walked out and thought bollocks! If it hasn’t happened by 11 months then why would it happen at 12?

Next month I got my BFP.

Hang in there, TTC is crap.

Hey ladies, how is everyone doing? Any updates?