9 months TTC and absolutely nothing

[acaciabluebell]

AF arrived today and feeling especially hopeless. I've reached 9 months TTC now. Can't help thinking that if I had gotten pregnant the first month I'd be about to give birth about now.

Feeling very low today. The 12 month mark is looming and I never thought I would still be here. 😔 Anyone in a similar position? I'm TTC#1. Never even seen a shadow on a pregnancy test and I'm 25 with no known health/reproductive issues.

Hi OP, I was in a similar position a few months ago and I remember getting really quite panicked around the 9 month mark. I was the same in that I’d never had even a shadow on a pregnancy test. We waited for a year before going for fertility testing (as is recommended) and then discovered major sperm problems with DH that makes it impossible for us to conceive without IVF. If you are worried, I would recommend just going to get you both tested. It could be nothing (and hopefully everything is fine!) but it might help to put your mind at rest

I was completely convinced that the issues were with me and tried everything I could think of to get my BFP. I hadn’t even considered that we were dealing with male factor infertility. I also regret waiting so long to be tested ... if I had followed my gut instinct we could be a lot further in our fertility journey than we are now

@lunasunshine Oh gosh! Thanks so much for your post, that must have been difficult I'm so sorry. Can I ask where are you at now in your journey? Were you just put straight onto an IVF waiting list? Any further interventions? I always thought that MFI could be somewhat 'made better' with vitamins etc, but that was probably v naive of me.

I actually got into contact with my GP in the past couple weeks and said it had been 'around 12 months' just so I could get myself onto the system as I thought COVID would have delayed things. I was right... was told the fertility clinic has a waiting list of 1 year!! Plus there's a lot of tests I need to do before even getting referred to them, blood test and scans for me and SA for my OH, so I'm glad I've called now.

@acaciabluebell no problem! We bit the bullet and went for private fertility testing (in London) as I had a feeling that the waiting list for NHS investigations could take a while and clearly I was right about that. It's good that you've gotten yourself onto the system now because these things definitely do take ages.

I had my tests first - blood tests and an internal ultrasound scan and they found a couple of small cysts on one ovary but apart from that everything seemed fine, and then my husband had a semen analysis about a week later. We honestly thought nothing of it, and I thought it might be a 'bit low' or something but we were absolutely floored and devastated to discover that he had no sperm whatsoever. My husband's condition is rare (it affects 1% of men) so I really don't want to panic you as I'm sure that you'll both be fine, but I just wish someone had given me a bit of a push to find out things sooner rather than just saying "I'm sure it's fine! Just relax!" as in our case things were definitely NOT fine.

At the moment we are waiting to start an IVF cycle and my husband will have a specialist surgery (called a MicroTESE) in order to try and retrieve some sperm directly from his testicles. We were planning to do this privately abroad (so much cheaper than here and also better success rates for his condition) but Tier 4 and the travel ban has put a stop to that for now

However, as soon as we can go we will do. If they don't find any sperm we will have to cross that bridge when we come to it, but for now I am trying to remain calm and hopeful

Do let us know how you get on. I really hope that you get a surprise BFP soon, and you don't have to worry about this stuff anymore. I know how stressful and all-consuming it can be. I also know that knowledge is power, which is why I think getting yourself and your partner checked out for any potential issues can only be a good thing

@lunasunshine Bless you, you have certainly been through a lot! I genuinely really appreciate you taking the time to tell me and others reading this thread about your experience. I hope you'll be able to proceed with your journey abroad soon!! xx

Hi ladies, can I join you? In my 9th month ttc#1 now. If I'd fallen pregnant the first cycle of trying, I'd be due on 4th January. Trying really hard to stay positive, but it's so hard! Had a little cry today 😢

Hey @Kitekat81 I certainly know how you feel. I'm almost on my 9th month. It can be so disheartening, I've had so many days where I've cried and cried. Hopefully this will be our month xx

Thanks @acaciabluebell. Fingers crossed for all of us 🤞🤞🤞 x

@acaciabluebell i have just found your thread online after googling ‘9 months TTC an issue?’ 😂 so I’m exactly where you were when you started this conversation mid covid. Can I ask if you have any updates? I’m feeling really hopeless and finding it increasingly hard to be happy for others’ pregnancy announcements (and hating myself for feeling that way!). Would love to know you are doing x

Came on here to say it took me 18 months with my first. But realised it's a zombie thread.
Instead I'm posting hoping the OP will see and will come back on and say she has had a baby!
@IslaO I remember how hard it was as said above it took 18 months with my first. I was convinced something was wrong. When I decided to try for my second I thought it would take a long time again as I thought I must have fertility issues. It took 2 months! Sometimes I thinks it can down to luck. Good luck hope it happens very soon for you!

Sorry @IslaO and @namechange496829 but I don't have good news to share 😞 I'm going on 2.5 years now and still no baby or successful pregnancy... I had a chemical pregnancy in February 2021 and since then nothing. We found out about a year ago that I have a super low egg reserve and my partner has sperm issues too. I tried 5 cycles of Letrozole and neither worked. I'm now about to start IVF in a few months time.

However just because I have been struggling doesn't mean that you will struggle also...9 months is within the normal range and I'm sure many of the other girls who commented on here have gone on to have successful pregnancies!

Thanks for getting back to me @namechange496829 and @acaciabluebell

@namechange496829 thank you for the reassurance and I am so delighted to hear your story had a positive twist! I’m sure by the 18th month on your first round you were feeling like you were on the verge of going crazy! Amazing to hear it went well for you. My partners parents and brother were both TTC for quite a long time (3 years and 18 months respectively) so I’m thinking slow swimmers may be in his genes.

@acaciabluebell i am so sorry to hear you are still on your journey and I am really sorry if I brought this old thread to your attention and it stirred some crappy emotions. The TTC journey is not one you expect at all is it? In school it’s drilled into us that it just takes one time and then when you’re an adult and you want it to take one time, it completely blindsides you. How are you holding up emotionally? I’m sure there are good months and bad months but I feel you and really hope you’re ok. Praying for a positive IVF journey- when you finally get your positive, that feeling will be all the sweeter! Xxx

I too am unfortunately still on this crazy TTC ride. Currently on my 3rd round of IVF and waiting to start my next period so we can begin the process of a frozen transfer. Felt all of the emotions over the last few years, but currently feeling pretty positive.
Wishing you lots of luck on your journey ❤️

Hello ladies, I replied to the OP back in November 2020. I had come off my depot a year prior and had been on cycle 3 since my periods returned with nothing. Just to note, coming off the depot, you may fall pregnant before you get your period so it felt like I had been waiting for ages.

I am so so sorry to hear @acaciabluebell . I can remember joining these boards all those months ago and I genuinely hoped each and every one of us would get to hold their little ones in their arms not too long after.

As for myself, I got my BFP the following January and had my wee baby boy in October last year, so he is 8 months old now! I feel very very lucky writing this as he is sound asleep next to me in bed.

I honestly hope that you all get your happy endings! xx

@acaciabluebell @mrsrichy I am so sorry to hear this. I really wish you both well with your IVF journeys and hope you get BFP very soon!

I'm in exactly the same boat. I'm 29, husband 33 TTC out first and onto our 9th cycle. I know this is an old thread but wondered if it did happen for you? A lot of our friends have taken 6 months+. Just thinking now about getting some checks done.

@alis20 it's been a very long time coming but I can confirm I'm currently in my first trimester of pregnancy following IVF treatment. Still early days but hoping this is finally our time after 3 years of trying.

Wishing you the best of luck with your journey - you have time on your side, and 9 months is very much in the normal range. I was definitely panicking prematurely!
At around 12 months we began seeking testing.

@acaciabluebell thank you so much for replying. Congratulations, amazing news!!! Wishing you the best.

Yeah im a huge worrier. Not sure if stress effects TTC but I have just always had in my head that it won't happen for us and can't see it happening.

If you don't mind me asking, what did they discover from the testing? I've booked in tests for next month so we will see!

Hello! I'm still TTC...! 3 rounds of IVF and 3 unsuccessful transfers later. Feeling surprisingly positive after finding an acupuncturist who is trained by the 'fertility support network', who basically takes a holistic approach and recommends various tests and areas to check. I would 100% recommend looking into the fertility support network to see if it's something you'd be interested in ☺️

Still TTC here but confirmed as 0% chance naturally- after a routine sperm analysis my OH discovered he had zero sperm in his sample. I would highly recommend getting a sperm analysis for your partner and some basic blood tests (thyroid, LH, FSH, progesterone etc) for you. You can never do this too early and my hardest part of my journey was that limbo of just trying and not knowing!

@IslaO the exact same thing happened to us! Sorry that you’re also in the same situation. We, sadly, had a failed MicroTESE after the azoospermia diagnosis but we now have a beautiful 5 month old baby via IVF with sperm donation. It was a long old road but we got there in the end.

@acaciabluebell so lovely to hear your news :)

@lunasunshine i am so sorry. I know the feeling of an azoospermia diagnosis and genuinely feel like I have PTSD following that initial feedback consultation. I didn’t even know zero sperm was a think. And the day of the microtese must have been so horrendous for you. Did you ever get to the root of the problem? But I’m sure that’s all irrelevant now that you are the mum of a gorgeous little baby- massive congrats to you!! Was your OH open to donor sperm from the beginning? I couldn’t care less about genetics but my partner is unwilling to explore that until we know the results of his Tese.

seems a lot of people struggling to conceive get hit with male factor issues- I wish GPs pushed sperm tests more and earlier in a TTC journey!!

@acaciabluebell I just saw this pop up again and I'm so so pleased to read your update! Huge congratulations!! ❤️ xxx

@IslaO same here - I didn’t know it was a thing and it was utterly devastating. I still get emotional when I think about the day we got the news! We never found the cause and were always given a 50/50 chance but we were just in the unlucky half.

I was very fortunate that my husband was on board with using a donor but it wasn’t a serious conversation until we knew the result of the MicroTESE. Until that point we were really hopeful that we could have a biological child. But once we knew that wasn’t possible, it was a lot easier to accept because we were so ready to be parents. I have to say that now my baby is here, I wouldn’t change a thing about our journey. I honestly feel that this was the child we were always meant to have and my husband’s bond with him is so strong. He actually prefers my husband to me 😅It was so hard but I feel SO lucky now. I really wish you the best on your TTC journey! And completely agree - male factor issues are so common but so overlooked. I always shout to everyone to go for sperm tests now because so many people don’t even think about it, but it’s so important!

My 1st took 10months (i was 22yo), 2nd 13 months, 3rd 9 months, and ttc 4th 16months and counting. I guess im just not someone who falls pregnant very easily. Feels like forever when you constantly see the bfn every month or AF arriving, but hopefully one day in the not too distant future you will get the bfp you are hoping for. 🤗 x

Sorry.. i hadnt read the date of the first post or the other posts in between 🤦‍♀️ congratulations! I hope all goes well in your pregnancy!! X