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Conception

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If you had a choice, when would you have conceived?

28 replies

BabyLlamaZen · 03/11/2020 12:09

With all babies? I'm just wondering when everyone thinks is the best time to fall pregnant and have a baby, in terms of months but also time in their life (and with age gaps. If it didn't fall to plan, is that good after all?

Had a November baby and already thinking about what would be good for next time.

OP posts:
BabyLlamaZen · 03/11/2020 12:12

I've also been told that 2 years 8 months- 3 years 3 months is perfect age gap (which for me is second baby born between July 2022 and February 2023). Very specific but I dont have a baby that age so no idea why!

OP posts:
Pantheon · 03/11/2020 12:42

My dd is 3 in a few months. I knew I couldn't do 2 under 2 personally Grin I always thought 3 ish years would be a good gap as the first is more independent by then. It's just personal preference though.

LMJ2501 · 03/11/2020 12:52

Baby was born October 2019 and we’re TTC baby number 2 this month, aiming for 2-3 year age gap 🤞🏼 I fell pregnant within 4 months last time so hopefully it’s more likely a 2 year age gap.

whoareyouIwonder · 03/11/2020 13:09

Would like any baby do be born between sept-dec. it makes a huge difference in their school year being one of the older in the year.

As for age gap, around 3 years.

DS has just turned 2 and I certainly couldn't have coped with another when he was around 18 months but slowly feel like I could cope now and we are TTC

TheDetectiveBadge · 03/11/2020 13:10

I had a spring baby with dc1 and autumn baby with dc2. I preferred spring because dc2 spent the first 6 months with one cold after another! Also I had c sections with both and in the spring I could sit in the garden/potter around locally without needing the car, whereas in autumn I felt a bit more housebound. The good things about autumn were that very quickly dc2 learnt day and night and I wonder if it was because nights were darker. I'd probably aim for spring again although it's obviously tough to time things! I had a 2.5 year age gap and it was fine. I actually started trying when dc1 was 12mo but it took a while to conceive. If I were to have another, I'd aim for a similar gap.

Hardbackwriter · 03/11/2020 13:17

I thought about it very carefully before trying to conceive my first and thought it would be good to have a baby in October 2016, for school year reasons and for reasons related to my work. DS showed up in July 2018. So I was far less foolish, I thought, and so thought that if I'd really like to have another before DS turns five in 2023 I should start a good couple of years in advance since clearly it would take a while. For this reason I didn't give that much thought to trying in a pandemic - I had years before actually having the baby, might as well ditch the condoms! So now DC2, conceived after exactly one unprotected shag, is due in February...

Hardbackwriter · 03/11/2020 13:24

I was obviously just delighted that DS was here, but I wouldn't pick July given a free choice - there was a massive heat wave in 2018 so I was first heavily pregnant in it and then fretting constantly about him being too hot. It was lovely having the light evenings though - I have very fond memories of sitting in the garden feeding him on a warm summer's evening.

Maldivesdream · 03/11/2020 13:27

@Pantheon

My dd is 3 in a few months. I knew I couldn't do 2 under 2 personally Grin I always thought 3 ish years would be a good gap as the first is more independent by then. It's just personal preference though.
I think 3ish years is a perfect age gap too.
ConfusedcomMum · 03/11/2020 13:43

I think it depends on whether you have family close by who can help with childcare or whether you have to pay for every minute of childcare. Also on your biological clock and how much you think you can cope with. Personally I knew I wanted all the pregnancies out of the way before my eldest started school so I can focus on his education as I personally find it very hard to multitask with a young baby.

CoffeeDay · 03/11/2020 13:56

I would absolutely have aimed for a spring/summer/early autumn baby so you can get out of the house right away with a pram or sling. Fresh air, sunlight and movement work wonders. My DD was born just before Christmas and it was a catastrophically cold winter with below freezing temps for two months and constant snowstorms (not in the UK). She had silent reflux so I was stuck indoors for weeks with a screaming baby and nowhere to go. Not surprisingly I developed severe PND/A that took almost 2 years to recover from. Looking back I feel very sad about the early days (especially seeing friends enjoying their summer newborns in slings/prams) but accept that it could not have gone any differently under the circumstances. Still hugely grateful that I have DD and love her to bits! At least now I always see the Christmas season as a countdown to her birthday :)

Butterfingers0 · 03/11/2020 14:07

Good question.. my two have a gap of 6 years between them. It has pros and cons. They aren’t into the same stuff obviously like even cartoons. That’s a con. However, the younger child needs a lot more attention which means the older child can be relied to get on with things. So that’s a pro.

I don’t know if I’d it different given the choice lol my post is pointless isn’t it 😂

Mylittlepony374 · 03/11/2020 14:18

18 months between mine. First 3 months of having 2 under 2 was hell. After that, amazing, totally recommend it. Now they're 2 and 3 ( nearly 4) and entertain each other really well. When we can go out, they enjoy the same things. I didn't choose this age gap- baby 2 was a surprise- but I love it.

ShinyGreenElephant · 03/11/2020 14:19

September -November born - means more time at home before school and will be one of the older ones in the year which often makes things easier for them in primary. Around 3 year age gap. I have not stuck to this at all by the way, just think it would be ideal.

Bells3032 · 03/11/2020 14:22

August. Means not being pregnant in the height of summer.

ArabellaScott · 03/11/2020 14:22

I'd have had spring/summer/autumn babies, starting age 26 ish, with a good 4 or 5 year age gap.

I feel I had my kids too old, winter is a tricky time for birthdays, but the age gap of my children is (I feel) perfect at just under 4 years. Close enough to play together and be really close, big enough that it wasn't all completely overwhelming and I feel like I got to enjoy both of them as infants.

Sadly far too disorganised to ahve thought any of this through prior to actually doing it. Grin

Dollywilde · 03/11/2020 14:23

I have DD, we wanted October 2019 and got her August 2020. Planning to start trying with a view to getting an October 2023 sibling for her, so it’ll probably be August 2024!

Flushi · 03/11/2020 14:26

My DD turned 2 just under a month before DS was born. I quite enjoyed that age gap. However, DD is a December baby and DS is a January baby and I wouldn’t choose them months, it’s nice that they’ll be at home for longer than a summer born baby but I do feel that their bdays are forgot about, and it’s very stressful to buy for them both with Christmas being the months in between.

olivesonapizza · 03/11/2020 14:33

It's unusual but I'd love to have a winter baby - November, December or early January. I love that time of year! Early enough in the school year but not so early that they're the very oldest in the year. Don't need to do the last stages of pregnancy in the heat of summer. A snuggly newborn in a snowsuit.

Ideal age gap would be three years I think.

As it turned out for me, neither of my DC were born in those months, and I don't have a three year age gap Grin

Hardbackwriter · 03/11/2020 16:03

@Bells3032

August. Means not being pregnant in the height of summer.
Surely about May or June would be ideal if you don't want to be pregnant in the summer - August means you're eight months pregnant in July which isn't much fun! I had also never considered whether or not my local hospital has any air con (it doesn't) until I gave birth in a heat wave...
Bells3032 · 03/11/2020 16:11

The question is when would you want to conceive. august would mean giving birth in may

Hardbackwriter · 03/11/2020 16:18

Oh sorry, you're right and I misread - most people were talking about birth months rather than conception so that's what I thought you meant, but you're right that actually you answered the question posed.

I think there's a case for conceiving in Jan or Feb, so you never have to do a booze-free Christmas...

Bells3032 · 03/11/2020 16:25

@Hardbackwriter when i first saw your response just thought your maths was terrible then realised what you meant. I'm pretty tee-total anyway :-P

Asher90 · 03/11/2020 16:25

My First Little Girl was Born in July, which was Boiling hot for the last few weeks so uncomfortable. However, she was eligible for the local pre-k programme and has thrived because of this.
My Second little girl was Born in April, and pregnancy with her was a breeze through the winter, she was basically a naked baby for 3 months due to summer and we had lots of outdoor time with here due to the lovely Weather. However, she misses out on any little programmes due to being the younger end of the school year, and after her sister loved it - it was a shame that she couldnt be part.

I think trying again - i would like a July/August Baby, Purely for the fact that further Down the line it will be a bit more Beneficial for them.

Hardbackwriter · 03/11/2020 16:27

Either that my maths was terrible or that I was an elephant Grin

I am very much craving a big glass of red wine at the moment, or a lovely winter-y mulled cider, which may have affected my last answer!

Bells3032 · 03/11/2020 16:30

@Hardbackwriter haha. I'll admit having a stressful day. Even i could do with a drink atm