TTC after MC - Aug/Sept 2020 (Thread 12)

[VP91x]

Evening all 💕

BFP list

@Hayleylou89
@1990EM
@Tink20058
@Dipsy77
@DBTJ
@SmileyT
@Niisa
@fafi
@2020wish
@Rebecca1992
@Beesy90
@Pugprincess
@IWM20
@Lollol86

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@VP91x
@MrsK21
@MichT4
@Hayley19835
@HE88
@Rainbowhope11
@Diorissimo1985
@Rb486
@Northernsoul90
@Firevie
@chloedancer897
@Happyvibes
@Bl0ndi3
@eclipsechips
@Will867
@Jazper
@susiebluebell
@Cici89
@Fingerscrossedfor2021HK
@ladysamee
@Sully84
@LAcain
@gizmo167

If anyone else would like to join please do.

Xx

@KatiePlus3 I've kept so many FRERs because I'm convinced I've seen lines. I also hoke tests out of the bin to check them later. And I've pulled them apart convincing myself that there's a smidge of a second line there. Don't even start me!😂😂 just remember ovulation is around day 8-10 and sometimes it takes 48 hours for HCG to rise enough to detect on a test. As long as you're prepared to know that you may not get answers and it's all a bit of fun I think early testing is fine. I was just awful and spent days obsessing over them, inverting the tests etc. It was awful.

@KatiePlus3 on I’m CD 19 and due AF on Sep 19th. A long wait but looking forward to now having to POAS every day! Need a break from that. Will still continue with temps. Do you do temps every day too? I wouldn’t do any tests, I’d wait till Tuesday and see what temps say. 😀

@chloedancer897
Don’t think like that. I remember I had AF symptoms when I found out I was pregnant- was convinced I was due AF and turned out to be BFP. The symptoms are very similar I think.

Have a great start to the week everyone!

@RichmondLady1981 thank you so much. I need to start being more positive but feel like I can't let myself get hopeful. Enjoy the TWW! If you have any tips to help survive it I'd love to hear them! Lol love temping. That kept me adequately distracted 😂

@chloedancer897 I have been exactly the same!! Taken photos with the negative camera app on my phone alot too!! It gets a bit obsessive. If you're due AF on tuesday I'd say you could test early just to see though, I think id defo be testing now if AF was only 2 days away haha! Those sore boobs could be a BFP rather than AF :) xx

@RichmondLady1981 I havent been doing my temps this month I only went by OPKs, I've never done the temp thing before I'm not sure how it works? Xx

@KatiePlus3 stay strong my
Lovely! I went insane this month with early testing & ended up dismantling a blooming test to get any hope lmao. The day after, AF arrived 🤣Stay strong for as long as you can lovely. Sending you so much strength and determination xxx

Ooh @Northernsoul90 you’re on Cd3 tomorrow - me too. When is your ovulation predicted? Mine is predicted for 21st or 22nd September. I think I might come off here for a short while this next cycle just to try & stop myself being fully consumed by it. I say this now, but I am so invested in everybody else’s journey so I doubt I’ll be able to do it xxx

@HappyVibes Awww sorry about that! So gutting isnt it :( we will get there! Thankyou so much and I will stay strong!! My partner just doesnt understand lol! Says I'm crazy why dont I just wait and see if I miss a period lol, i said sorry but it's not as easy as that haha! Xx

@KatiePlus3 my partner says the same. It's so hard though because the closer you get to AF, the more hope you get!

@HappyVibes do what's right for you. This can be a bit all consuming. And sometimes you feel like you're not doing enough and you need x y and z vitamins and do all of these things when it's actually stressing you out and stress is the worst thing for TTC! Chill out, dip in and out if you need to and please keep us updated. And of course enjoy that FW 😉😉😉

@RichmondLady1981 I’m currently cd27 (last 3 cycles have been 26days) and am on my 9th cycle sonce mc - so currently waiting it out - if af hasn’t arrived on tues I have one test I can use (I purposefully try not to stock up lol). My longest cycle has been 29days - so by weds af would potentially be late! I’m 14dpo tomo though

@Bellabubble 4-5 months!? 😫😂. He seems to be getting better already, busy every now and again you see in his eyes that he's going to be a devilish thing for a while.

Exciting that you're testing soon, how are you feeling? Any signs?

@chloedancer897 how was your temp this morning, and did you test?

@Babydreaming20 did you do another test today? Or are you waiting a bit longer?

@HappyVibes you have to do what's right for you. If you feel it'll help you then definitely take a little break. Will certainly miss your positivity and hopefulness though. And don't disappear forever!

xx

@Lollol86 thanks, I'll let you know how I get on 🙏

Good luck to those testing this morning 🤞

@MichT4 Bella was about 4months when she calmed down - but she hit the terrible 2’s (at about 18mths old) and she was such a cheeky little pupper! We were lucky as her personality is naturally submissive - so her playing up was more “you asked me to sit? Really? When shall I do that? Now? Or in 10mins?” Etc - it was a pain! But she got through that and went back to being a good girl lol! Her only vice is to bark at EVERY little noise in our new house (we all have dogs at are end of the road, and they all do the same thankfully haha!) She has been such a good distraction during this ttc time!

@Bellabubble that’s exciting!!! You’re doing so well holding out. Not long to go. I’d definitely wait. I’d say to you and @chloedancer897 that it’s best to wait as each day that passes, the more accurate the test will be when you do it. If AF comes first, there’s no question as to whether you’re pregnant. If you test too early and it’s negative, we ALWAYS question it. I prefer the feeling of anticipation of the chance I’m pregnant. Sounds weird but hope that makes sense. I like black and white- not grey! 😂

Stay strong- a good box set is always a good distraction! keep us posted. 💕

@KatiePlus3
I’d definitely recommend natural cycles and temping. There’s lots out there. I like natural cycles as it takes into account precious cycles so after a few months is really accurate at pinpointing ov if you temp and POAS. Why don’t you go onto You Tube and download a tutorial for it. It’s quite easy. You’ll love it.

I’ve decided to change my approach to TTC next month ( if this month doesn’t work). Now my app has been quite accurate (the last two months) at pin pointing ovulation, I’ve decided not to start too early. I found this month that we were DTD every other day for about a week before the FW, so by the time we got to peak, we were both shattered and a bit over it. I’m going to rely on the app and my testing to wait just before the FW to get going. We will have lots more energy and I can imagine the good stuff (sorry!) will be more plentiful. Thats my reflection following this month’s FT anyway.

Happy Monday! 😀

@MichT4 big temp drop and BFN this morning. Out again. It's not getting any easier 😞 I just don't know what to do anymore. We've done everything and DTD at the right times, taking all the vitamins, Accupuncture, tests. I don't think it's going to happen for me

Sorry everyone, here comes my usual monthly breakdown. I just don't understand what else I can do. We have done absolutely everything to have this precious, desperately wanted baby and we are no further along. I get slightly hopeful for a bit every month thinking we've done everything we can only to be disappointed time and again. My cycles are like clockwork. I probably don't need to do OPKs anymore. I don't drink. I've cut out caffeine. I'm a walking vitamin box. My husband takes all his vitamins and he's so healthy and doesn't drink or smoke. I feel like every month is just another sign we should give up. That it just isn't going to happen. That we are destined not to be parents again. I wish I could be more accepting of that but I can't push this idea of another baby out of my head. DH has barely spoken this morning. All he said was that he was heartbroken. Now he's off to work. I don't know what to do anymore.

@chloedancer897 oh no sorry to read your morning update! But as they say you’re not out until af shows her face. Do you have any af symptoms? I asked my doctor in Vienna couple of weeks ago why it didn’t happen last month - we dtd at the right time, caught ovulation, no booze, healthy, no stress. She said unfortunately baby making is no science so even if you think we did everything why did it not happen, it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong. It just means the timing isn’t right yet. But we have to trust that our healthy babies will come to us when the time is right. Sending you hugs xxx

@chloedancer897 sorry didn’t read about bfn ...I’m such an idiot! But the above still applies! Trust ....xxx

@Firevie I know AF is coming. She's like clockwork. Plus the big temp dip and stark white BFN. I'm 13DPO so it would show by now. I wish I had more trust in my body but I actually resent it now. I resent it for what it's doing to me and how much it's making me hurt

@chloedancer897 I'm so sorry it was negative this morning, and even more sorry that you're feeling so low. It's so frustrating that the chance of catching every month is something like 30%, which is super depressing to think when you are putting everything into it. It would be so lovely if the odds were in our favour when we are being so mindful of timing etc.
As @Firevie said, we need to trust that it doesn't happen because it's not the time and it will happen at some point.
I don't have the answers as to how you should move past your emotions. I think if this isn't your month, you have to let yourself be sad but you should absolutely take comfort in the regularity of your cycles. It's hard, but try and be patient and trust your body. If you can capture the bit of hope you have each month and keep it going throughout, you'll instantly feel better.

I wonder if it's worth not being so 'on it' for a while. I know that's hard, but maybe take a step back from one thing even - maybe OPKs if you don't need them, or some of the vits. I think the less we are doing each day which is solely about TTC will naturally take some of the focus away.
I know I'm in a different situation this month, but I've done that while waiting for AF - no calc Fluor, no juices, I even forgot my daily batch of vits on Saturday because I was out, and that was ok - I was busy with non-TTC things! I'm not saying stop taking everything, but maybe just have a reset of what's the most important to keep with. Remember a lot of us fell pregnant taking and doing nothing, so perhaps our bodies are capable without us stressing too much about all the extra bits and pieces.

I just wonder if it'll help you focus elsewhere and get back to TTC being a nice and fun little side project. I hate saying those words, because when you really want it it isn't that, but I just think we put so much pressure on ourselves to do all the right things, and there's probably no need to

Hope that makes sense. Quite a ramble and I'm mindful lots of things don't help and it's certainly not easy. I just hate you feeling down on yourself xx

@Wishingfornumber2 Hope your blood test goes okay!

@Babydreaming20 Oh that is so interesting I had never heard of ICSI. I will have to look into it, just so I know. Did you test again this morning?xx

@Bellabubble Yeah, I think being back at work serves as the massive distraction that we have needed over the last few months. That's good that you found it better to use natural cycles, was it accurate in predicting ovulation aside from just confirming it?xx

@KatiePlus3 I am about the same time as you now as 5DPO today. It really depends FRER are 6.5miu which are the earliest on the market, and say they can detect from 5 days before a missed period. Everyone is so different. I would go for a solid 10dpo test if you're going to test early. xx

@chloedancer897 I am really sorry that it was another negative this month, it must just be so crushing each month when you know you ovulate etc. I know this might be the most annoying thing and I hope you don't take this wrongly, but would you consider stopping taking all the vitamins? Go out and have a drink. Enjoy having a coffee again, get yourself back to a more relaxed version of yourself. You might not feel like it is causing you stress but just the ritual of not drinking ever/never having a coffee/remembering to take vitamins each day is an underlying stress. Are you able to maybe have a weekend away together or even just a day out somewhere no TTC talk and just have a bloody lovely lunch or dinner and de-stress?

I know even in the months where I knew I wasn't ovulating and I just stopped doing anything it was a MASSIVE weight off my shoulders. I can't imagine what you must be feeling after months of being regimented about lots of different aspects etc.

Sending you SO much love xxx

Thanks @RichmondLady1981 & @VP91x just had the bt and the nurse managed to do it first time. Usually they can’t find a vein as I have been told I have deep veins lol but today she found one straight away and managed to get blood out. Had been worried all morning.

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down @chloedancer897. I can’t really add to what the ladies have already said but please be kind to yourself and maybe treat yourself to something today. X

@chloedancer897 so sorry it was a BFN. I really hope you manage to find your positivity soon but for now, try and switch off, enjoy a drink at your DD birthday and maybe try a bit more laid back approach, it must get mentally draining too. Sending you a big hug

@RichmondLady1981 sounds like you have a good handle on your cycle and ovulation so rejigging your timings might work well, it does get tiring with DTD!

@HappyVibes @Northernsoul90 I'm just a couple of days ahead on CD4 today. I think this upcoming FW, I'll try and target days a bit better, we had lots of awful spotting so missed a good chunk of FW before that. Due to ovulate on 16th or 17th, hoping we all get lucky this month xxx

@chloedancer897 everything that you wrote broke my heart as this is exactly the same way that we felt this weekend when my AF arrived. Literally, 100% exactly all our thoughts. We just let ourselves feel shit and feel sad, and rode the emotions out. Cancelled plans with friends that we had just to have some downtime so we didn’t have to pretend we were okay and happy to anyone. It felt good!

I’m still feeling that way, but I know I’m going to also focus of my mindset for the coming week. Booked in for any hair and a massage this week. & I’m looking at ya booking a weekend away somewhere so we can have a night away (not in the FW, so we DTD for fun)...some nice meals, few drinks...just to get back to the old us, before the TTC us.

We’ve agreed that after my appointment when we know our options, we aren’t gunna talk about TTC. I’m just gunna OPK and ofc he will know when FW is, but other than that, we are gunna ride it out and try not to let it take over anymore. Saying that is probably easier than doing it...time will tell.

Xxxx

Morning all, just checking in. Sorry to hear of the BFN that some have had, it’s such a constant rollercoaster of emotions isn’t it and impossible not to get your hopes up. Every time I get my period it’s awful but I enjoy the two weeks after where there is no pressure and you can switch off a bit from it.

I’m on day 35 now I think and still no period and two more negative tests, longest my cycle has ever been. Had an outbreak of spots though so maybe AF is on the horizon. I’ve contacted the doctors and hopefully will get a call back in next 24 hours to discuss it I hope. Feeling frustrated as I just want to move on to next month.
I’m looking into private wellbeing fertility scan and private blood tests so if I dont get far with doctor maybe I can just get what I can checked out in the mean time.

Sending warm fuzzy feelings to everyone x

Thank you everyone. I had a coffee today and I'm off work this week so I'm going to book a massage and just not think about it. I've been so consumed with TTC that everything else is slipping. I was so driven before all this with my job and I just don't have my head in the game anymore. I told DH that I'm going to focus more on work and my own hobbies and TTC can be just for that one week then it's out of the way. He actually cried a lot today, I was really shocked. He said he doesn't know how much more he can take. It's the worst I've seen him. We both want a baby so much.

Thanks again for the constant support, I really wouldn't be able to make it every month without you all (however I feel like it'll be thread 30 and you'll all be pregnant and I'll just be here talking to myself, last man standing 😂😂)