7 months trying, not coping well

[Gardenlady543]

Hi all,

I’m a long time lurker, first time poster. We’ve been trying for 7 months now, it looks like it’s another no go this month. I’ve been tracking from the start, I’m using ovusense, I’m inputting that data into naturalcycles as well and I’m using the CB fertility monitor. I’m confident we’re hitting all the right times because it’s consistent across all the devices. Despite that every month it’s the same disappointment, I’m at that time again now and each month it is getting harder and harder.

My Gp has done my blood tests, all were normal and my AMH is 17.3 (I’m 35 so that is average). My partner has his semen analysis this week. No matter what the result I am now pretty set on paying privately for IVF, we ideally would like more than one child, and so freezing embryos would give me reassurance for when I’m older in the future. I’m thinking of arranging a discussion with the local clinic and hopefully a scan as the final bit of the work up from my side.

I’m sure people have had much harder times than me with this, but I’m at the point where I can’t be around families and even the mention of pregnancy or babies on tv is making me upset. I’ve come off all forms of social media as I can’t cope with the, “I got pregnant posts”, it doesn’t seem to be easy for many people, but nobody ever talks about the struggle etc. Does anyone else feel like this?

@mini84 apparently over 35, means 36 in terms of when they’ll test. I was lucky that my GP allowed me to have the tests as soon as I asked. I wrote down a list of what I needed and the nurse sent them all off for me.

Day 3 is LH, FSH, TFT's, testosterone, DHEA, sex hormone binding globulin, PRL.

Day 21 (or 7 days before expected period of cycles are not 28 days) is progesterone.

My gp also agreed to the AMH which was helpful.

Now I just have to wait for the private scan.

@Gardenlady543
Glad you are feeling better about it and it sounds like you have a good plan.
Thanks for the info, really helps.
I have day 21 bloods tomorrow morning.
I think I'll give it another 2 cycles and then look at ivf.

I had 7 years of fertility treatments and pregnancy losses. I coped by thinking that I will get pregnant someday but this month is probably not my month. I never tested early because that made me anxious. When receiving pregnancy news (I've had friends with 3 babies born during those years) I gave myself two or three days to grieve and after that I had to become happy that at least there would be someone's baby to cuddle and see growing up. It was worse for me when people hid their kids away. If it never was going to happen then I'd want to be a favourite aunty. It was so hard, so much harder than fertile people can imagine. So many years. But in the end it's worth it.

Please keep in mind that most, most women do get pregnant someday. It might not come naturally, and clearly not in the timeframe you wanted, but you have to stay positive. The chances are that it will happen for you. You still have years left where you can ttc or have treatments. You're such a long way away from staying childless, still so many options and time left.

@Gardenlady543 AMH of 17.3 is great - those you have read about who are higher at the same age could well have PCOS. I was sent away to try for another 3 months naturally by a private IVF clinic when my AMH was 6! It is good to get things checked so you have the full picture but you are still well within normal range of how long it takes to conceive

@Weswoo thanks, I’ll just have to wait to see what the specialist says now.

Well AF has arrived for another month unsurprisingly, I felt good this month as I had twinges on day 9, but once again absolutely nothing. I had my ultrasound, there is a small fibroid which changes the shape of my uterus but the clinician said it is considered within normal limits, I have a AFC of 34 which I understand is good for a response to IVF but could mean there would be a risk of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. We met with the clinician, at first she said we could keep trying and maybe try tracking, I said I have tracked the whole time we’ve been trying using ovusense, the CB fertility monitor and natural cycles, I know we’ve hit the right time every month and still nothing. I said I’d feel better if I at least knew there were eggs frozen, even if we only tried one cycle of IVF and froze the other eggs. I said I’m worried because I want more than one child and if this takes several years then at my age another child is out of the question. She said as it’s a private clinic it’s up to me. I’ve pretty much decided that this is the route I want to go down, my husband has his heart set on a September born child (we were both born late in the school year and struggled being the youngest). That would mean another 3 months of what I’m going through, which I’m finding too hard, it would also be pinning all our hopes on it working, which it might not.

Hi @Gardenlady543
Sorry to hear AF has arrived again. It's such a frustrating journey isn't it. No news also for me.
Good to hear the scan didn't show concern.
Are you happy to wait the 3 months? How soon would they start the preparation for IVF ?
I've never thought about the school age part ( but I was born towards the start of the school year) So does that mean will you not try now for the next few months? Or just if you have the choice with ivf you will wait?
I had my day 21 bloods last cycle - thyroid (TSH) was high but doc wasn't bothered ( although I am) and said if it was at a level to be concerned about I wouldn't be ovulating. Progesterone levels confirmed ovulation. Didn't have AMH as they wouldn't do it until another 6 months down the line.

@mini84 that’s interesting about your TSH, did you have your T3 and T4 done at the same time? My friend has an ever so slightly high TSH and was diagnosed with subclinical hypothyroidism and is on levothyroxine. If you really wanted to know your AMH then you could pay a private clinic to have it. I was lucky that my Gp isn’t really clued up on this stuff so just took a list of what I wanted doing to the nurse.

The fertility doctor said they would start a week of meds to suppress things from day 18 of my cycle (that would be in around 2 weeks time if I did it this cycle), then two weeks of meds to stimulate and then they retrieve the eggs, add the sperm and after around 5 days look at implanting. So it takes about 4 weeks from start to finish. I’m sorry to hear it’s a no for you as well this month, I wonder if you have lost your optimism as I have, after so many months of negative results, I don’t expect anything else really. I just don’t think it’s going to happen, I’m fit and healthy so there must be some reason the egg is either not getting fertilized or not implanting. I got quite down around when I got my period and told my husband I don’t think I can manage another 3 months of disappointment, with the school age thing I feel it’s better that we try now when the baby could still be June/July time if we’re successful, but my husband has said he wants to try naturally for one more month which seems like a good compromise I guess, I think I might try my CB fertility monitor but no other monitoring this month. One of my friends got pregnant after a couple of months of trying and she had started trying at the same time as me, we’re now getting closer and closer to her due date and I find it devastating. I just want it to happen now :(

@Gardenlady543 you may wish to head over to the infertility boards, lots of lovely ladies with good advice about the reality of IVF. Best of luck xx

@mini84 TSH is best under 2.5 for TTC - mine was slightly higher and I was dismissed by the GP. Unfortunately you have to be persistent!