Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

@CookieMonster3001 the bible does say one cup a day but it probably depends how strong it is? Start cutting the real stuff with a bit of decaf 😂

I feel the same - furtively buying OPKs and folic acid like I’m a naughty teenager, I’m 35 for crying out loud! I had the “my whole life is going to change” melt down ahead of time when my best friend got preggers a couple of years ago LOL now I’m keen to catch up as I’m the last in our group to have kids, one of them is pg with her first right now and I’m just a bit jel though thrilled for her of course

If the threads on here are anything to go by stacks of cheap hgc sticks are the way to go and save the good stuff for when you really think it might be a BFP, though I keep saying to myself I will try not to fall into the trap of testing super early! Bet I will though 😳

@TheNewMrsW i know the feeling. sometimes i find myself ordering things online and then sneaking them into my bathroom. no idea why as the only person i live with is my husband and it's not like he doesn't know!!

It's just 5 days to coil removal day!! thought i'd feel really anxious but feeling surprisingly zen. Maybe that will change as time goes on. dreading periods more than anything after 5 years of nothing and ten years before that on the pill to reduce them. how did everyone else feel on the run up to stopping contraceptives?

I was worried about it as my periods were awful as a teenager - both very heavy & irregular and horrible cramps which is not a good combination especially as an embarrassed teenager - and I had been on some form of HBC, pill then implant almost continuously from 18-33. I was pleasantly surprised though, as my periods returned quickly with much more regular cycles than I had when I was younger, the flow was not light but not horrendously heavy and the cramps not nearly as bad (most of the time!!!) as I remembered. I immediately felt so much better off it knowing the my body was doing its natural thing. Obvs not the same for everyone but that was my experience. Made me wish I’d done it earlier as before I met DH I was single for quite a long time so really had no need of long term birth control and the main reason I stayed on it was periods, DH and I have used condoms for 2 years now and whilst I don’t love them, once they are on it’s fine and I def don’t think I will ever go back to the pill or anything in years to come.

@TheNewMrsW that's good to hear. My cramps and pain and flow were awful and lasted 10 days as a teen but always very very regular. Even on the pill I had awful cramps but those were manageable with painkillers and didn't last as long.

Fingers crossed at 32 it won't be as bad

@gems05 sorry to hear that. Do you feel okay about it, given that you weren't expecting it to happen so quickly? I don't suppose that makes it any easier though.

@Amy929292 I've never had a horizontal line but it sounds like it could be a faulty test. I once spend £10 on a clear blue digital test only for it to say it was faulty. I was so annoyed.

After my binge eating the other day and thinking AF was due to arrive any day, I've had no other PMS symptoms or anything. I'm starting to wonder if I should take a test sooner than I'd planned.

@Pebbleinthesand thanks sweet, I'm okay about it... I've only just got my head wrapped around the fact we're actively ttc now! As much as a quick result would be great.... 😂

@Amy929292 pregnancy tests have two lines a control line to show something happened and then The Line to show its positive, the lines can either be parallel or crossed or sometimes in a separate window

AF finally arrived this morning and having worked it out from my last bleed it seems like I'm pretty much bang on a 28 day cycle which is good to know.

I'm so relieved because it means that I can actually have my laser eye surgery at the end of next month and have a better idea when we start TTC of what's actually going on. I think if I were actually pregnant now I'd be worried that I'd got my dates wrong.

I have 2 weddings for a friend and a family member next April and May so not being about to give birth is any day/having a new born will definitely make them easier to plan for.

Anyone else plan the next 9 months of their life out each month based on if you got pregnant that cycle? 😂 I keep thinking about how pregnant I'll be by Christmas, by my birthday, by the weddings we have coming up, by my little girl's birthday 😂

@Pebbleinthesand Ah that's brilliant! And yes!! I'm the worst for planning the next 9 months.. we're starting in Feb, 5 months and 2 days according to the countdown app haha, and my friend is getting married in May and I'm a bridesmaid so I ordered a size 14 rather than 12 just in case I need some extra room 😂 if we fall straight away then I'll be pregnant at her hen, they want to do two nights in Cornwall which is a 5/6 hour drive from where I live (South East London) and I'm like ohhh what if I'm pregnant it's so fat to go and I won't be drinking, I'll have to encourage everyone to get black gin glasses with our names on or something!! 😂 my mums made a great point though, I was thinking about not going in case I am pregnant but she said I can't put my life on hold until I know so will have to see how it goes.

What is everyone doing for the bank holiday? Too much time to think about how much I want a baby 😩

Does anybody have any good book recommendations? Baby or non-baby related... I think I need to spend less time looking at Instagram.

@Amy929292 welcome :) certainly worth checking I think a lot of people have had the same experience on here waiting for cycle to settle after just coming off the pill :)

@CookieMonster3001 to be honest I enjoy a good catch up it’s like a little family on here :) defo use the trust worthy notepad haha! Exactly I feel the closer it gets it’s like excited nerves. Like so excited to ttc but so nervous about all the unknowns! Defo sounds like you are all ready for November :)

@Bells3032 that’s so exciting that the coil will be out soon! It feels so real then. I came off the coil in Jan my cycle has returned quickly and has now got into more of a pattern. I used to have really awful periods but now they last 5 days 1 which is heavy 4 are so light (only 1 day of cramps) so fingers crossed it’s made yours more manageable too! I still find it weird having a period though not used to it still!

@Pebbleinthesand
Good that your cycles are now at 28 days :) so much easier to track when regular. Also good news that you can get the surgery sorted :) yesss! Defo know what you mean about the 9 months planning! I know you can’t but I try and calculate it all to the finest detail. Exactly the same here I think about Christmas then 30th etc :) it just takes over doesn’t it.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 spending bank holiday with family :) how about you?

we have just booked a staycation from 30 sept - 11 oct now if we stick with my November plan that’s great HOWEVER my earlier eagerness to get dh to start sept has paid off as he keeps saying’baby making month’ haha! I don’t want him to lose enthusiasm so now I’m like oh do I just go with sept or wait until work settles in November. I had changed to November in my head as I didn’t think he would be overly bothered but now he is ready I don’t want him to lose that!

Any advise welcomed- maybe I should change my name to impatient but anxious haha! X

@sunflowersaremyfav93 it's my DSS birthday party today, we got him a bouncy castle and my 4 nephews are coming round to play and having a BBQ. I'm 6 dpo so trying to decide whether to have any prosecco or not.
As for books, I think I might have made some recommendations before but Dawn O porter's books are great, easy read and very funny. More serious I'd recommend hearts invisible furies by John boyne.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 we are starting work on getting the house sorted out for marketing, I need to finish repainting the bedroom and DH has the mucky job of resealing the shower and regrouting the bathroom floor. Not the most exciting plans but I feel like it’s all part of the pre-TTC plan so that provides motivation! I might also do some crochet, working on a throw for myself which I need to finish off so I can start work on a baby blanket for my friend.

@mackjm20 I would just go for it! It doesn’t sound as if you have major reasons for holding off and as the bible says if you’re holding off for a minor reason,don’t! If DH is keen that’s half the battle so I’d jump on it (literally 😂)

@sunflowersaremyfav93 what kind of books do you like? I could recommend loads probably but depends what you fancy. I was obsessed with Normal People on the telly during lockdown, have bought the book and another by the same author but not quite got round to them yet.

Oh and also - I def wouldn’t hold off on anything due to other people’s wedding plans, the way things are going I’m very doubtful it will all be back to normal by next year at this rate. After the experience of having to call off our own big wedding then in hindsight I wish we hadn’t put anything off because of it, and that was our own wedding, let alone someone else’s! Covid sure put everything in perspective.

@mackjm20 @butterfly5291 aw lovely plans, and butterfly that’s a tricky one, they say not to drink in the TWW don’t they? Thank you for the recs, will look them up. 😊

@thenewmrsw very productive I love doing house stuff!! I’m going to completely blitz the house today then have a relaxing evening. OMG I watched normal people too, it was an emotional rollercoaster wasn’t it! Apparently the book is so much better, I might get that actually.

We’re just spending tome with family this weekend too nothing exciting.

Yeah tbh I was all very optimistic about wedding next year but the closer we’re getting to the end of the year the more I’m thinking ???

I can’t believe it’s September already on Tuesday! Time is just going so quickly isn’t it!

@TheNewMrsW jump on it HAHA I’m actually laughing out loud! All the reasons were basically linked with how busy I am ally work so feeing stressed etc. Get the last bit of debt cleared and lose a few more lb all of which I can do whilst ttc I guess. Eek very torn but strong chance even if we started ttc now we wouldn’t get a bfp until November onwards anyway :)

Not sure how I would hide a 10 day staycation without drinking If by miracle we did get a bfp first cycle Guess I would have to claim antibiotics lol!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 yes I think they do say not to drink in the tww my plan will be to keep faking antibiotics and early work starts once ttc lol! That or I considered the other day a sponsored ‘no alcohol’ like stoptober!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 after watching it my DH wanted to put Connell on our baby name list and I was like yeah love the name but I bet there are a million lockdown babies with the name Connell this year and next 😂

@mackjm20 you could def do those things whilst ttc! As you say chances are you won’t catch first cycle anyway so it’s just giving yourself a head start 😊 I think Stoptober is a good excuse 👍 I was saying to DH last night if and when I fall preg I reckon we will have to tell our parents quite early on cos we see them quite regularly and if I don’t even have one glass they will be on to us anyway unless I have a good excuse like dry January 😂

@TheNewMrsW I know it’s so hard isn’t it. DH is adamant he doesn’t want to tell anyone until 2nd trimester but I am such a bad lier so think we will have to have a very low key social life to avoid any questions lol! Xx

@mackjm20 I know what you mean with DP being ready all of a sudden. Now that we've held of DH has said he understands that I want to get my eyes done and he's happy to support me in that but he really wants another baby and is impatient to start trying. After months of me going back and forth about what to do and him saying it's up to you when/if we have another, he now suddenly has an opinion on it when I've pushed it back.

@TheNewMrsW you're definitely right about covid putting things into perspective. Not being able to see her friends and cousins make we realise how wonderful our DD would be as a big sister and how much I want another child, not just a baby (if that makes sense).

We're going to this cute fairy trail at a nearby village tomorrow which DD will love but tbh I think she's more excited about the fact that we get to go on a bus 😂

@Pebbleinthesand Omgosh it’s crazy isn’t it! I think DH has got it in his head now what I’ve been saying about it probably taking a while and is like all over getting started. So I’m just going with it ntnp until nov and then if nothing start actually ttc in nov when work has settled :)

@Pebbleinthesand also how funny that they suddenly have opinions NOW (if there was an eye roll emoji I would use it) hopefully once you have had your surgery it means he will be ready

@Pebbleinthesand at least Covid has some silver linings then, I think it’s made a lot of people reevaluate their lives and priorities! Fingers crossed you get a sibling for DD quickly once you ttc 😊

@mackjm20 ntnp sounds like a good compromise for a couple of months! 👍

Hello,

I would like to join too, please! I am 34 and want to start trying in the coming 3 months- any tips on how to maximise conception chances right away? Should I start taking pre-natal vits? I am really anxious about my age and wanting a baby right away! Any advice would be appreciated and congratulations to all who are expecting :)

Morning, ladies! Love catching up on this thread - as @mackjm20 says it’s like a little family 😊

Welcome @sa222! I think where you’re at is a great time to take pre-natal vitamins. Are you on hormonal contraception?

Decided I want to try and do something to see if I can improve my luteal phase length so am going to start supplementing with higher dose vitamin C and a B vitamin complex to see if that helps. Also going to be a lot more aggressive about cutting out booze and caffeine post-ovulation.