Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

So just finished Expecting Better by Emily Oster. It covers lots of decision points from conception through to labour, and if you are a fact/data driven person like me I’d really recommend it! She’s an economist, so it’s essentially analysis of various research and data so that you can make your own decision.

@KittyT30 Glad the dinner was a success and you were able to keep your secret!

6DPO and I’m itching to test, even though I know it’s still too early to tell. Trying to keep myself busy and my mind distracted, but it’s a challenge!

@ThreeTree - I love that book! Read it several years ago before TTC was ever on my mind and found it so interesting, I’ve recommended it to everyone I know who’s been pregnant since. It makes total sense, a lot of guidelines seem very arbitrary and it’s good to understand exactly what the risks are so you can make a proper judgement call.

@queenatom it was so so interesting - I think I’ll definitely come back to it when doing my birth plan.

@queenatom I tested at 11 days DPO, and it wasnt positive with the crappy amazon strips but on the clear blue digital it was. so try to hold out. Apparently implantation happens around 8dpo and 11 dpo, so very early to do test. I totally expected negative but when positive came I was in shock. Maybe I implanted closer to day 8 than 11. Done 2 more tests after that just to make sure.

Yes I need to get on to baby books. I haven't thought about whole birth thing because not in safe zone yet. My sister loved the pod cast 'Australian birth stories'.

And all the talk about the twins is funny. I'm a twin and my sister in law always jokes I will have twins. 4 weeks from now I will know. More that happy with one, 2 would be hard work!!

@KittyT30 ahh that's a good idea with the black glass! might have to invest in some of them haha

@sunflowersaremyfav93 'the twat' LOL autocorrect really loves to give us a laugh sometimes! Defo excited about when everyone is preg! I feel like we have formed our own little family here!

@Bells3032 glad to hear the blood tests went well!

@queenatom try to give it a few more days!!

I had a bit of a melt down moment last night. As excited as I am to start TTC, I am absolutely petrified!!! Any one else or just me? I'll be a first time mom and I have not got a single clue what I am going to do and its freaking me out a little hah!

@CookieMonster3001 yes exactly the same. I am veering every minute from "I want to get on with it and be pregnant" to "omg omg how am i gonna do this????"

@sunflowersaremyfav93 that’s really interesting about the full fat dairy, I switched to full fat yoghurt from fat free as I read something similar but I don’t like whole milk in my tea so I’m still having semi-skimmed. I eat a lot more yoghurt than I drink milk in tea so hoping that’ll have the biggest impact.

@ThreeTree ooh thanks for the book recommendation, I’ve added it to my list in a note on my phone. I love facts and data so I’m sure I’ll find it really interesting.

@queenatom fingers crossed the next few days pass quickly and that you get your BFP!

@CookieMonster3001 and @Bells3032 I used to be the same but seeing my sister have her baby last year and be such a good mum has made me a lot more relaxed about it. She’s 3 and a half years younger and has always been more irresponsible, but she’s taken to motherhood so well and is an amazing mum! I think your maternal instincts kick in and you just follow those most of the time. I’m a bit nervous about the newborn stage but I feel like once they’re a few months old it gets a bit easier (well it’s still hard work but at least it’s not as relentless!) Plus I’ve had lots of practice changing my niece’s nappies, feeding, bathing her and putting her to bed so I feel ok about those things. Something I still haven’t got the knack of is dressing / undressing babies when they wriggle! Have you had any sisters / close friends have babies?

@Lollipop87 yes my sister has two kids who are 6 and 7. I am a very hands on aunt and have had them for weekends, taken them out and probably changed more nappies than my bil. Oddly it's not the care of kids that makes me anxious. I know realistically I can do it. I'm a terrible sleeper anyway so used to a bit of sleep deprivation. It's more the fact I am totally spoilt... I love to go out for random evenings and away on holidays and just enjoy being lazy and sleeping in plus (I don't mean to brag) but financially I've always been very comfortable with lots of disposable income and very little to worry about. I'm more concerned about my lack of freedom and just being bored out my mind alone with kids. It's why I was so resistant to being quick to settle down and start ttc until lockdown made me realise its not so terrible being at home and I will survive. I am now desperately looking forward to maternity leave. Haha. Plus between my sister and my dhs family who I know will never leave us alone once a baby is here and the liklihood my dh will be wfh at least a couple of says a week in future it's calmed me down that I won't be left home alone starring at a crying baby.

@Bells3032 completely understand where you are coming from. The giving up holidays is a big one for me! We had 2 trips booked this year - our last hurrah before TTC - both cancelled! I’m hoping things will allow us to at least do a baby moon or something, but it’s definitely not quite the same!

@Lollipop87 it's when they get big and can run away giggling when you just trying to put a bloody t shirt on them!

@Bells3032 I never really did holidays before but we took DD to Bali at 9/10months and ok it was slightly hellish (don't book a holiday when they're teething and try not to change time zone too much, especially during a sleep regression!!!) but the actual travel part wasn't bad at all and it would have been easier if it wasn't a big group/family trip. You can kinda drag babies all over, I just had her strapped to me and off we went (breastfeeding made it easier)

I was planning at the beginning of the year. I was losing weight and was ready to ttc in July after my holiday or August if I waited for my period. Then covid happened so I struggled to lose the last few pounds and I'm now hoping to ttc next month. I'm taking folic acid. My diet isn't as good as it was a few months ago so I do need to start eating more fruit and get some vitamin d. I feel less prepared now even though I've had more time to think about it. Maybe I should start eating more fruit now? And greens for iron? So impatient with the waiting to start but my holiday was moved to next month so I want to enjoy it without worrying about no alcohol etc. If anyone has any tips or advice on eating well (I'm not too bad honestly just hungry a lot and walking to work makes it worse) im grateful. We're keeping it to ourselves atm so I can't ask for advice from anyone 😂

@KittyT30 congratulations! That's amazing that it's happened so quickly.

I seem to have missed loads in the couple of days that I've not been on. We've decided to postpone TTC (unless I'm somehow miraculously pregnant from our half a month of NTNP) because I'm having laser eye surgery at the end of September and after reading up on it, I've found out that pregnancy can effect your vision so I wouldn't be able to have it done if I were pregnant (as far as I'm aware). It's a bit disappointing as I hadn't considered it before booking my surgery but it'll be worth it, not having to worry about glasses or contact lenses anymore.

My random 1 day period after having my coil removed was on the 1st of August so if I've not had a period by the 1st September I might have to take a test. My coil will have been out a month and a half by then so hopefully that's long enough for my body to start getting back to normal.

Hi @GwenR! Full fat dairy is meant to be good for fertility e.g. switching your milk and yoghurt to full fat versions. Other than that lots of fruit and veg, cutting down on caffeine / alcohol and salmon, olive oil, spinach, kale, quinoa and avocados are all meant to be good. Some of us have read “The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant” and there’s a whole section in there about what to eat.

@Pebbleinthesand I’ve always considered getting laser eye surgery but haven’t taken the plunge yet. You’ll have to let me know how it goes! Slightly annoying about having to postpone TTC but at least it’s not for too much longer.

We have just arranged to go and stay with my SIL in October which would be the weekend before my period is due in our first cycle TTC. So I’ll be able to take a first response test on the Friday as my period would be due on the Monday and it’s meant to be pretty accurate if it’s less than 5 days before your period is due. If I am lucky enough to fall first cycle I would be in the same situation as @KittyT30 as she and I love our wine and she would know something was up! Maybe we would just tell her, DH and I haven’t had the conversation yet about who we’d tell before the first scan.

Ohhh can I join!
We were planning on ttc our first after Christmas but because of some work changes etc we’ve decided to start trying on my next cycle (mid September time)

I came off the pill at the beginning of this year to give it chance to get out my system and started taking folic acid and vitamin d not long after

I’m so excited to start trying but now the time has come around I’m a bit nervous!

I track my cycles every month but has anyone thought about ovulation tracking? I was considering opks or tracking my bbt? One part of me doesn’t want too much pressure straight away so I thought maybe just see how things go for the first few months, but then the other side of me wants to get pregnant as quickly as I can so if it helps I’ll do it! Any advice or experience welcome!

@MrsM21 welcome! And exciting you've not got long to go till you start. Me and my bf and going to start in Feb and I've been tracking everything on an app but haven't started using OPKs yet so I'm going to start that next cycle. I'm due on tomorrow so will start tracking CD10 I think. Quite a few ladies on here have used OPKs though.

I also need a vent ladies if you don't mind...

So I've been with my bf for 6 years, we bought our first home, a lovely 3 bed house, last year (which at 26 I saw as a massive achievement) we're happy, comfortable, feel the right time is next year and engagement is on the cards too (his mum told me this morning infact to stop making jokes because he has plans in place). I've never felt like I absolutely need to be married before baby, I know people have different views but I know we'll be engaged before we have our baby and aim to get married before end of Mat leave. Anyway this morning I went with my bf's mum and sister to go wedding dress shopping for his sister. Spoke to my mum after and she said oh imagine having to go dress shopping with a baby... it's really upset me, she knows how much I want a baby, I'm so set on it. I feel like I'm disappointing her. We're Italian and Italians are known for being like this but gosh I really wish my mum just hadn't have made that comment.

@MrsM21 welcome! I haven’t done any ovulation kits or BBT tracking, I just track CM, but I know a few ladies on here do so I’m sure they’ll have some good advice for you.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 sorry you had a tricky conversation with your mum, all that really matters though is how you feel about it and doing what’s right for you. It might not be what she would do but you know what you want so she’ll just have to respect that. Hope you manage to explain this to her xx

@Lollipop87 thank you I know it's about what we want, I spoke to my bf about it and he was very much like it's our choice and what we're happy with. I know we'll be getting married and I know we'll be engaged before the baby is here. Just wish mum didn't say anything.

I'm due on today and I've had period pains and terrible mood for a good few days now, I feel like I'm on but I'm not bleeding, boobs hurt, I feel sick and just want to eat allll the time. If it weren't for the fact we use condoms I'd be thinking I'm pregnant... I know they can break but I think my bf would notice when he's you know... cleaning himself up after 😂🙈

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I don't think anyone else has the right to tell you what to do with your relationship and marriage. There are lots of benefits to being married first but it's a personal choice. but does it matter how that choice happens. Don't let anyone elses opinions away you if you are happy.

@MrsM21 I had laser 9 years ago and it has been amazing. Though my eyesight is detoriating a little now due to constant screen time. I wouldn't reccommend it right before pregnancy though as pregnancy can change your eyes apparently and it may make the surgery a bit redundant. Why not get it after having kids?

Nothing new to report from me. I did dream last night that I discovered I was 12 weeks pregnant and was worried about having drunk too much (in real life I'm pretty teetotal) and apparently going on roller coasters (which in real life I hate) and was trying not to let it slip to friends before telling my family. First dream about pregnancy

Hi everyone, can I join please?! I’m quite excited as we have been talking for some time about ttc our first “next year” but when we were out for dinner on Friday DH said that we can start trying in January, which feels like much more of a definite than a vague plan for “next year” . I’m really pleased as I’ve felt for ages that we need to be trying before my next birthday in the spring as I will turn 36. It’s taken me a while to make DH realise that it might not happen just like that on the first go (in fact most likely definitely won’t!)

This year has been a bit of a rollercoaster for us as we should have been married in the spring, big wedding which we spent the best part of 2 years planning, then Covid happened and we were in lockdown on our wedding date. After a lot of toing and froing over what to do we ended up having a small wedding earlier this month, it was perfect in the end, and I’m so glad I no longer have to think about it and we can move on with our future plans.

I had my implant removed almost two years ago as I was just fed up of pumping hormones into my body and felt like I had just no idea what my cycles were like or my body would do naturally as I had more or less continuously been on some form of HBC since I was 18. I read TCOYF back then to get my self up to speed on tracking cycles as I really had no clue (why do they not teach us this in school?!) I would highly recommend it for those that are interested as it was a real eye opener for me! I have been loosely tracking my cycle since then on the basis of EWCM and can roughly predict my AF from that, but I want to dig it out again and start properly charting over the next few months including BBT and OPKs so that by the time we are TTC I have a more accurate picture. I am a little conscious of being mid-30s and not started yet so whilst I don’t want to put too much pressure on I also feel like I want to stack the odds in our favour as much as I can, anyone else feel that way?

My/our preconception plans for the rest of this year are:-

• Clear off our credit cards and start a baby fund to cover expenses and mat leave. This will be crucial for us as I earn a lot more than DH but only get stat mat pay so I think we probably need enough saved to cover the mortgage payments whilst I am off. *Get a bit fitter and healthier, which for me definitely means less wine as I can be a bit naughty with that and it makes me want to stuff my face . I also need to exercise more, DH is mad keen on exercise so we are trying to do things together *Prepare our house to go on the market in the NY, we have two bedrooms in our flat so we could start off a family here but ideally would rather be moved before a baba arrives *Start properly tracking my cycle *Start taking conception supplements, I’ll probably start doing this 3 months out so around October? Anyone taking them further out than that?

Excited to join you all ladies and hope those of you that are TTC already get your BFPs soon!!!

Hi @TheNewMrsW and welcome! That’s exciting, Jan will come round quick. I’m the same, I’m 33 so conscious of trying to do as much as we can to help boost our chances. On the supplements I think 3 months is about right, definitely for folic acid as it needs time to build up in your body. I started taking it on 1st July and we’re starting TTC in October. I also take a calcium and vitamin D supplement. I have some pregnacare that my sister had leftover but only about 3 months worth so I’m going to wait until I hopefully get my BFP and then start taking that.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I would have felt a bit put out by that comment too. We got married a few years before having DD but I can honestly see no downsides to deciding to do it before or after baby. You don't have to take the baby to wedding dress shopping (it will have 2 parents and one will definitely not be there when you're trying on dresses) and you'll get to dress a gorgeous mini flower girl or page boy too 😍.

I'm going to speak to my laser eye consultant once I know I'm not pregnant this month and just see what the recommended wait time is for after surgery. Waiting until after I've had another baby could mean waiting 2 years because I'd have to wait until I was done breastfeeding (from what I've read) but if I get it done now I don't think it should delay TTC by too long as far as I'm aware.

@bells3032 @pebbleinthesand I know I was really like ?? About it because I’ve spoken o my mum and this for so long and she knew that was the plan I just don’t know where it’s all come from. I was going to mention it to her when I see her tomorrow but I honestly think what’s the point, me and my bf aren’t changing our minds and as much as I love my mum it’s just not her choice I know she’ll obviously love the baby more than anything once it’s here. And Pebble you make such a good point.... my bf will be able to look after our baby when I go dress shopping 😂 I should have said that when she came out with it.

Welcome @thenewmrsW we’re starting TTC in Feb and I’ve been taking folic and Vit d for a few months now but I think I might start taking CoQ10 three months beforehand, I’ve read good things about it. It’s nice to have a date in mind isn’t it!

Thank you for the welcome 😊

@sunflowersaremyfav93 after our experiences this year with having planned the “perfect“ wedding and not being able to have it then deciding at short notice to pull another wedding together within a few weeks, I can honestly say that a wedding is what you make it, and what makes it perfect isn’t any of the stuff you see in magazines or on tv but the people you love coming together to support and celebrate you, and if that means a little one along for the ride then go for it. DH’s nieces having an absolute blast and loving their best lives were one of the best parts of our day in the end. If there’s one thing I have learned this year it’s to roll with the punches

@TheNewMrsW aww that's so lovely and I think that's so right, whenever it happens we thought it'd be lovely to have our baby there, my mum will be happy for us whatever happens but I just didn't need that comment 😂