Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

@olderthanyouthink I'm sorry to hear about redundancy!! Great that you can freelance though and you never know you may find something, even if it's a contract?

@KittyT30 that's amazing, I'm so happy for you! Great success story.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 hahaha yeah DD stubbornly bulldozed through all of it! I spoke to someone the other day who didn't know she was pregnant till 26 weeks and she went to festivals sort of "heavily" pregnant, baby is fine.

Might be able to find contract work but it's difficult if they want me to come in because DD will do school hours or a half day. I have some contacts I can also for work though so will get one that soon.

@KittyT30 that's amazing!!! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy!! And fingers crossed you pass on some of that baby dust to all of us too! Would be the dream to conceive on our first cycle!

@olderthanyouthink I used to have plain fat free greek yoghurt with fruit and some muesli but saw these and thought I would give them a go.. They do taste delicious, but now I know why! Think I will go back to my usual yoghurt lol. So sorry to hear about your potential redundancy as well, although the freelancing sounds promising and would be great flexibility! Keep my fingers crossed for you that you get some work come in and it takes off!

Wow, I’ve missed a lot!

@KittyT30 congratulations, first BFP of the thread!

@Lollipop87 what a little darling! I love the name, too.

@olderthanyouthink Sorry about the redundancy, not a great place to be but I’m sure you will figure something out. Hopefully your contacts will be able to help. DH is also at risk of redundancy (massive organisational shake up that makes no sense and it putting heaps of jobs at risk 🙄) so he’s on the hunt so hopefully he can jump before he’s pushed.

Hi all!
Late joiner to the thread, but we are also pre-TTC, due to start (based on my cycles) just after Christmas. We’ve been planning for this date for a maybe a year or two, and made a list of things that we want to do before TTC and I’m glad to say we’re on target.

They generally fall into 3 categories:
Money - pay off all credit cards/loans bar the mortgage (on track for December), save 3 months worth of earnings (on track for March
Health - lose weight (down 30ish pounds from last year, 44lb from my heaviest. 26lb to go!), drink more water, upping the kegels, exercise 5 times a week. Have a dental appointment next month, and need to book in a doctor appt too.
Educate - read books and other data driven resources (taking charge of your fertility, expecting better etc), track BBT

Have a tick list definitely makes the waiting better! I changed jobs last year in anticipation, knowing that I’ll have at least 2 years tenure at the company by the time mat leave came around so hopefully you can tell I am a Type A planner!!

@MsQueenInTheNorth hope you had a great time away :)

@Pebbleinthesand post holiday washing is the worst! Sorry to hear your cycle is still up in the air! Hang in there hopefully it will settle soon mine was the same when I had it out in Jan :) it’s so frustrating the impact covid has had!

@KittyT30 omgosh HUGE CONGRATULATIONS! Also how amazing that you came off birth control last month and are already expecting that’s amazing so so so happy for you :) this is super exciting having the first positive test in the group :) thats made my day! Eek congratulations! I hope the morning sickness is kind to you with going back to school bless you!

@Bells3032 ah exciting about the coil coming out! I have got the fermometre ones based on queenatoms recommendation too and going to give them a try next month :)

@CookieMonster3001whats a border biscuit? I feel like I need to know now and will end up wanting a pack too haha! So glad the lump doesn’t seem as hard really hope like you said it will just go by itself!

@queenatom sorry to hear you are achey this week and about the thrush that is the worst and can make you feel so run down! Sorry to hear about dh risk of redundancy. Hope he finds something soon fingers crossed.

@Lollipop87 so good that your cycle has got into such a good pattern! Omgosh so so exciting about the kitten:) he is absolutely beautiful and I love the name! so much to look forward to between now and October :) it’s like it’s meant to be that your fertile weekend hits your anniversary break away fingers crossed for you :) totally know what you mean about wasted opportunities! Also well done you on eating all the right fertility foods! I really need to start doing that :)

@sunflowersaremyfav93 omgosh that insta post 1000 days! I have been eating so bad the past week or so! Note to self put the chocolate down lol- jokes aside though everyone has a bad food day don’t be too hard on yourself :) I hope your call with the gynaecologist goes well- keep us updated x

@olderthanyouthink glad to hear you had the blood test and it’s over and done with glad they let DP In in the end! So sorry to hear about the potential redundancy. I was so nervous to go freelance when I was made redundant but 2 years down the line I am so happy to have taken the plunge and have so much more control over time (also will be much easier for you to work around little ones)

@ThreeTree welcome :) your list is almost identical to mine and so many others on here to you are certainly in the right place:)

Ah all caught up. Been so busy with work the last couple of days. I think it is more likely that we are going to delay ttc (ntnp) from after August AF to after Nov AF now... I have been so caught up on due dates and “what if I was able to tell people at Christmas” and plan plan planning that I got a little carried away with it all. I am currently so busy at work that although I am desperate to get started I know that added stress in sept is just not what I need. So pushing it back a couple of months to get the workload under control, debt fully cleared, last weight lost and exercise in full force :)

I feel like then I won’t be stressing constantly and DH will be happier too as I will have a better work life balance :)

Just got to work out if it does happen before Christmas how to hide it but cross that bridge if we get there (it’s funny as although I know it doesn’t happen first time very often in my head I had scheduled EVERYTHING around ttc in September! Despite all my research haha!) Anyway I’ve tried to rationalise my obsession a little and I know that the original plan of nov that I kept moving forward is still for the best!

On that basis @sunflowersaremyfav93 and @CookieMonster3001 the countdown has been reset 92 days to go! Xx

@olderthanyouthink sorry to hear about redundancy, but maybe freelancing will be an exciting new chapter for you.

Hi @ThreeTree and welcome, you’re definitely in the right place! These are our people 😂

@mackjm20 you’re so good at replying to every single person! I get myself in a right muddle sometimes. You sound pretty happy about delaying to November so must be the right decision 😊 Oh I know what you mean about trying to plan around Christmas, I’ve already worked out that if it happens first cycle I’ll be able to have my 12 week scan before Christmas. I’ve also ordered some first response tests today, because I have an appointment to give blood a couple of days before my end of Oct AF and you’re not allowed if you’re pregnant so figured I should get a couple of tests so I know whether or not to keep the appointment! Such planners on this thread, I love it! My sister is the total opposite, she didn’t even read the book I got her - I’ll be taking that back for myself! 😂

Thanks @CookieMonster3001

@queenatom good plan, wishing him luck!

@mackjm20 I'm just slightly terrified about having a big childcare bill to pay (btw people you might need to have a terms nursery fees ready in advance for when you return to work!!!) and no idea if I can manage it. Thankfully I have a list of people I can reach out to to look for jobs a DP does too but I've never had to do this kind of thing, I've only had 2 jobs and one of them was an apprenticeship.

Just realised that as I went part time at the beginning of the year I'll get less redundancy pay, not to mention furlough pay, for the sake of working part time for about 9 weeks! Hind sight is great, isn't it

@Lollipop87 thanks, could do without the excitement atm though :P

@mackjm20 I was thinking that maybe we should stop NTNP for a few months to avoid a summer baby (if by some miracle my period returns) and now I'm thinking holding off for a few months would be a good idea because last time I was shattered all the time and I don't need that while trying to figure out freelance life. Knowing our luck though I'm now pregnant with twins.

Oh I forgot I took a pregnancy test the other because I felt a bit ill, tired and irritable and BFN

@Lollipop87 I do try although when there has been loads of chat it takes ages haha! I would say more calm than happy- I just have been feeling stressed the past couple of weeks and over planning about ttc and suddenly I thought breath and just go back to the o.g plan! Keeping everything crossed for you to have your first scan by Christmas :) would be so nice to tell everyone then :) such a good idea to be prepared with the first response tests :)

@olderthanyouthink oh no bless you that sounds so stressful. I really hope the right opportunity comes up for you. It’s so crap how they calculate the pay especially if you have only just reduced hours.

Omgosh twins imagine! Do they run in your family? Maybe just see how you feel over the coming weeks. Really hope everything resolves itself for you x

@threetree I love the ticklist idea! I’ve got a mental list but sometimes I get overwhelmed with it all I think having an actual list on my notes would helpful, that’s a really good idea. All exciting that you’re on track and well done on the weight loss too, they all say that really helps. Let us know what books you’ve read/are going to read. And welcome to the thread!! 😊

@mackjm20 I know!! I was a bit shocked when I saw that too, but I think as long as we get plenty of fruit or veg the odd few biscuits...or crisps.. or pizza doesn’t matter, does it?

To be honest, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I always end up feeling really bad after I’ve had a few glasses of Prosecco, I went wedding dress shopping with my SIL on Saturday and they gave us Prosecco and then we went out after and I had a few more, I know I need to enjoy myself but I just keep thinking am I damaging my eggs?? We’re going back to the wedding shop this Saturday too but I’m going to drive this time.

@olderthanyouthink oh no!! When will you get confirmation?

Just seen somebody mentioned twins as well...oh my could you imagine!!! Is it true that if they run in the mums family then it’s more likely or doesn’t it matter? Twins run in my bfs family..eek!!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 exactly! Everything in moderation :) you are so good! I have still been drinking if I’m totally honest and will continue to do so until I am actually ttc... not sure if that’s wrong but I’m not ready to go t-total in prep lol! I love wine and cheese to much to give it up for longer than needed :)

@sunflowersaremyfav93 if you have non identical twins in your maternal line you are more likely to have twins- your genetically more likely to release multiple eggs- my mum is a non identical twin- other factors that increase your chances of twins include being over 30, being obese and being tall. I'm over 30, but hopefully by next week I will no longer be obese!!! I'm 1lb away from being 'overweight' also I'm only 5 ft 2 🤣

I'm still drinking, I make wine and I just bottled a beautiful rhubarb and red currant, zero chance of me not enjoying that while I can 👍 it's really just an occasional glass at the weekend, I'm not a binge drinker 🤣

@KittyT30 congratulations!!! Very exciting news!

@wrensandrobins well done on the weight loss that’s amazing!!!

Omgosh maybe you and @sunflowersaremyfav93 might both end up having twins!

Your home made wine sounds amazing! I don’t drink at all in the week but if I go out on a weekend it would probably class as ‘binge’ drinking oops... will defo stop it before ttc but going to keep enjoying the small pleasures in life until then :)

@olderthanyouthink that sucks with regards to how they calculate the pay, seems unfair if you’ve only been part time a short while?!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I definitely don’t think you can damage your eggs by having the odd drink, I will stop in my two week waits just in case but if and when my period comes I will still have a glass of wine at the weekends. I think we’d all end up getting more stressed if we cut it out completely, and I agree with @mackjm20 that you have to give it up for long enough when pregnant and breastfeeding so might as well enjoy it while we can 😂

Yeah you're all right, I only ever have the odd glass anyway I never go out and get drunk and I think restricting ourselves is no good anyway.

Also - I know I say this every month but.. I'm due on next week and my god I just can't stop eating! My mood also feels quite crappy, don't think the weather helps.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I am right here with you, eating like it’s my job at the moment!

I am trying to watch the booze but the odd glass here and there surely isn’t a problem? @wrensandrobins, that wine sounds amazing!

I have been convinced for years and years that I’ll end up with twins, can’t decide if that’d be a good thing or not! No reason to believe I will, though, just a sense...

Guys enjoy your glasses of wine now, before u know it you'll be off it for 9 months and then breast feeding on top of it🤣...

I have my in laws over tomorrow evening for dinner. We made the decision not to tell them until first scan. Now I'm trying to think of ways to hide I'm not drinking, especially when I'm hosting and would normally have wine. Any tips or tricks??

@KittyT30 ooh that's a hard one.. can you pop out and buy some non alcoholic wine and have that instead but not show them the bottle? Keep it hidden in the kitchen?

@KittyT30 what wine would you normally drink?
There is non alcoholic prosecco these days...not sure how it tastes though.
Get some of that schloer...think it looks quite wine like?
Is your MIL nosey?

@KittyT30 If you think you can get away with it I would just pour yourself a small glass of whatever everyone else is drinking and leave it untouched? Or arrange things in such a way that your OH can drink some of your glass as well? (Glasses next to each other on the table so he can pick up either without anyone noticing.)

Alternatively a wine-looking drink or another alternative (a ‘G’&T? A non-alcoholic beer?) might be a good shout.

@KittyT30 I would defo go for an non alcoholic one and just pop that in your glass instead so many good non-alcoholic alternatives :) also way easier at your house as you will be topping your own glass up :)

That way you can reserve the ‘headache’ or ‘working early’ excuses for at their house! Haha I’ve put a lot of thought into this as my in-laws would clock me not drinking immediately if not x