Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

@JamesZebra I get the anxiety of starting a family and being scared. Its a whole new life once we have kids and to be honest, even I am a little petrified about it! Its good that you are so reassuring to him and hopefully everything will work out! Did you manage to get a better night sleep? You are doing great with your weight loss! Keep it going and fingers crossed this month is your month!

@wrensandrobins ohh that's interesting, you will have to let us know if it gets better. My migraines definatley got better, I hardly get them now. I used to suffer from them before going on the pill too but the pill made them 1000% worse

@maloney123 sorry to hear your first cycle didn't go to plan. Keep my fingers crossed for success in the next one for you.

I woke up today and logged my temp and its bleedin changed my ovulation day again and moved it 3 days. I am still 80% certain I ovulated this week on CD12 but it has now moved it to CD15. I am hoping once I have a full proper month of OPK and temping together, I can knuckle down on my actual ovulation day.

@Bells3032 not the coil but I met with some resistance on getting my implant out. Sexual Health Clinic were very helpful but said they would only do it if my GP refused and wrote a referral on to them. When I picked this up with the GP, that conversation was enough to get them to do it. Might be worth another push? I found in each case, getting past reception and speaking to a member of the medical team was key!

@Bells3032 where are you based? I had mine removed at John hunter in London recently in June.

I am in North London. Where is John Hunter

@maloney123 preseed is meant to be good as a lubricant if you are trying to conceive.....it mimics your own natural fluids/the fluid sperm is contained in and can apparently assist with getting the sperm getting to where they need to get. Lots of the conception vidoes on youtube sing its praises.
The reviews are "interesting" on Amazon with some people claiming that was the very thing that got them pregnant, others claiming it kills sperm/gave them a UTI/made them burn- the positives seem to out weigh the negatives. I wasn't sure what to think but decided it was worth a try- I haven't been using any contraception for quite a while and nothing has happened. I joined this thread in an attempt to better my chances and the advise has been great so now I am just gonna see what happens
I didn't use very much yesterday so I might use a bit more next time. I was going to wait to use it until I had lost more weight- I am down from 17stone to 15 now, but I am too impatient!

@JamesZebra she definitely mentioned preseed in the “bible” as I’d never heard of it before! Good luck for your next cycle! I definitely think men doubt their ability as fathers more than women do as mothers, maybe it’s down to women being “allowed” to be more maternal/nurturing throughout our lives whereas men don’t really have that same background usually.

I can’t remember who it was who mentioned about the rubella immunity test, @stepmumSW5 was it you? I finally got round to phoning my doctor today (who I’m a bit scared of as I’ve had him since I was 13!) and I was thinking he might try to fob me off, but he actually complimented me for being so responsible and said he wished more women would do their research and plan for pregnancy. So thank you, and I think that’s a big well done to us all for thinking ahead with all our pre-conception planning 😊 I have to go to my local hospital whenever and apparently they just look up his request on the system and do it then and there without an appointment, so might try to go tomorrow.

I got a letter about a smear the other week and need to try and book one, I tried after DD was born and because I couldn't give a recent last period date they wouldn't do it! Then they changed the rules to make me too young.

I guess I was tested for rubella immunity before and it's unlikely to have worn off in the last couple years?? I'm seriously needle phobic...

You guys have been talking about weddings that you might be pregnant for and I just got the date for a family wedding next year and hopefully I'll either be pregnant or have a newborn

@Bells3032 chelsea. It's next to the c&w hospital. Give them a call tomorrow. It was empty when i went and I got an appointment the same week.

@Lollipop87 that's so good to hear! I had mine more than 15 years ago so I was also worried but im still immune! 😊

@olderthanyouthink I might have to bump my own wedding if I take long to conceive. I'm already civilly married but the religious was postponed to god knows when... But i won't stop my life because of that, I will try to get preggers and decide when to have a wedding later 😬😂

@stepmumSW5 thanks but think that's over an hour away from me. I'll see if I can find somewhere a bit closer

@Bells3032 do check but Id still recommend them. The service is incredible, you don't need a gp to refer you and its nhs.

Thanks I'll deff look into it. It's good to hsve a back up if I can't find something else closer

@Lollipop87 it's funny isn't it how they doubt theirselves. He is so amazing with my kids, my dd has had a dreadful couple of years with crippling anxiety problems and he is so good with her. She adores him. It's so nice that she has such a great man for a step dad - he literally has nothing to worry about when it comes to that.

The kids are having a sleepover at their cousins this weekend right on my peak day (hopefully if I have tracked it right) so fingers crossed we can make things happen this month!!! I am just going to make the most of the kids being out of the house! its really hard having a normal relationship when you have teenagers who never seem to sleep!

I tried to temp again but I keep waking up at 3 and the 5 subconsciously thinking that I need to temp as soon as I wake! But I'm waking myself up! I have no idea how to stop myself doing that I have an alarm for 7 so there is no need for this disturbed sleep!

I shall persevere, hopefully my brain will start to relax about it soon!

Yay booked my coil appointment for 1st September. Husband is on probation for his new job til September 16th so timings good then. Couldn't get a local clinic to do it so gonna go privately. bit of a redic waste of money but what can you do?

@wrensandrobins I have the exact same issue! Personal record was waking at 12.30am convinced it was morning and I needed to temp. Ridiculous. I am seriously considering ordering a device called a Temp Drop which a friend of mine recommended - apparently it monitors you through the night and uses an algorithm to calculate the relevant temp for your chart, so it doesn’t matter if you wake up in the night, get up for a pee, sleep in late, etc. Not cheap but think if I’m still struggling a couple of cycles from now I might splash out.

I am feeling rotten today, headachy and very tired. Can’t tell if it’s AF approaching or if I’ve picked up the bug my husband’s had the past few days - or both! Have had to cancel plans to go out for dinner tonight as neither of us are feeling it.

@queenatom glad it's not just me! I posted about it on the natural cycles private group and a few others on there had the same at the start and you get used to it and stop waking as much!

It's a shame about feeling poorly and having to cancel! Hope you are feeling better soon!

@Bells3032 exciting times!! Good luck!

@Bells3032 thats really good that you have a date :) ties in perfectly with your husband too.

Didn't lose any weight this week but I was a pig last weekend so not entirely shocked. Been doing OPK's and think I am about to spike- i'll upload a pic later. Still trying to get my head around how they work and reading them properly.

@stepmumSW5 you can walk down the isle in labour or with a newborn right?!

Does anybody else get to the weekend, flick through Instagram and then get so impatient? 6 months tomorrow until we start TTC and it feels like ages.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Yuuuup. Pretty much everyone I know has at least one kid, and 4 of my good friends have had babies in the past six months. Would love to be where they are now! Patience has never been my strong point.

Finally got a good night's sleep and my husband seems to be feeling better, so feeling a lot more positive today. Interested to see when AF will show up - on CD22 so hopefully not for another 5-6 days. We're away next weekend at a nice country house hotel so will need to remember to pack accordingly - it's been so long since having proper periods, I'd forgotten how inconvenient they are!

Sorry I have been so off the radar this week so lots of catching up. I’ve blinked and missed 3 pages of the thread haha! Here goes:

@MsQueenInTheNorth thank you! Been really trying on the weight loss this week I’ve been so busy with work so lost the plot a little but 1st of the month so going to give August a good go :) I am the exact same with holding all the weight on the stomach so annoying isn’t it! Well done on
The inches though that’s amazing!

@Lollipop87 so glad you had a lovely birthday :) amazing that dh has the life of dad book let us know what he thinks :) I’m exactly on your page on impatience and getting excited for period to get to know cycle! So nice to have this and know others feel the same!

@CookieMonster3001 well done on the run! Your chart is amazing! Literally live for this! You are so organised :)

Happy birthday and anniversary week :)

@queenatom well done any movement on the losses however slow is a positive. Could not agree more with social media ads I am getting exactly the same lol!

2 of my good friends have had babies too! So I know what you mean about patience not being a strong point. The more people have babies the broodier it makes me! So glad you got a good nights sleep and I hope you have an amazing time at the hotel :) I know feels so strange having to factor in periods again doesn’t it!

@Nate1 that’s so great that you were able to have a convo with your mum do you feel better for it?

@JamesZebra huge well done that’s amazing! Sounds like we have a similar loss/ amount to lose 3lb a week is incredible :) also so good that your dh is coming round to vitamins. I know what you mean about falling off the wagon I’ve been the same this week trying to snap myself out
Of it! Oh no bless you sometimes the emotion just needs to come out I really hope you are feeling better?

Are you still doing cwp? As strangely my sleep has been awful too! Wonder if there is a link?

@wrensandrobins sorry to hear the calcium hasn’t had the effect you wanted- I hadn’t heard of using it before tbh. I must have not got to that part of the bible yet :) Exciting on coming off the pill though :) I feel like once you are just using condoms it feels one step closer more real? Maybe just me :)

@smileyplant welcome :)

@maloney123 sorry to hear af has arrived. Fingers crossed for your next cycle

@sunflowersaremyfav93
Yes the weekends for me are worse too I feel so impatient on the weekends sometimes days it all feels soon and others I’m like hurry up!

Ah all caught up! I actually love this chat! However crazy I feel doing all the pre planning in the weirdest way I feel this chat keeps me sane :)

So just a little update from me now. So for a round a year now I have been talking to DH about when we start ttc etc (he is such a planner) and we had set on ttc from end of this year.

This was based on: having savings in the bank, having moved house and being at a healthy bmi.

So all seemed achievable to start ttc and then 2020 hit! Now I’m self employed so all our savings are gone as a result of covid and this has stopped us moving as well. The only thing I feel I’m getting closer to is the healthy bmi.

So in may DH basically said f* it we will see where we are at in sept and aslong as not financially suffering put the move on hold and start ttc (we have a 3 bed house so the move was more out of choice than necessity)

So I get all excited especially as 2 of my best friends gave birth in June which I swear has made me broodier than ever.

Then in July we are talking and DH says that to start ttc in sept he wants: to see where second wave is at, know my self employment is back to normal so we can restock savings for mat leave, and look to move at the end of the year- I literally felt so deflated like honestly I don’t blame him I know it’s all super sensible but anyone else feel like covid-19 is screwing with their plans?

So this last week I’ve been so busy at work but also just like okay well keep doing all the right things but if we delay until early 2021 so be it I never want to rush DH it has to be right for us both so I had kind of resigned myself to a delay. Also due to my history of blood clots I am totally on his page about assessing 2nd wave likelihood and would like to know our savings are rebuilding so a reassessment is disappointing but sensible.

Last night we are on our way to My in laws-now you may recall me mentioning they are desperate for us to have children so we stop to get wine on the way which is like my go to on arrival to avoid questions lol! And DH says make the most of this until sept I was like huh? And suddenly it’s like the second I’ve stopped talking about it and reading him the bible and obsessing he is open
To sept again.

He mentioned babies like 5 times at his parents and when planning this Christmas he says to his mum maybe you will have a grandchild by next Christmas (no pressure haha)

I just was so baffled. For now I’m going to keep myself to thinking it may be after March we try but sept is still the dream- note to self must not put on any pressure haha!

Anyway sorry for the long post but has taught me men think about all this stuff too and go back and forward. Maybe he needs a dads preconception planning group lol :)

Hope you all have great weekends :)

@mackjm20 great to hear from you! Sorry about all of the COVID issues with work etc, it is a pain in the you know what!! DH was asking me about pregnancy in terms of the virus and a potential second wave, and I was like oh no he’s gonna want to postpone again! But actually he was great about it, we read up about it on the nhs website and he said he’d be gutted if he couldn’t come to scans but a friend of mine said you’re usually allowed to take a video on your phone if your partner isn’t allowed to come. Would suck but he said he doesn’t want to put our lives on hold, and it said you’re still allowed your birth partner during labour they just might not be able to stay with you afterwards. He’s also started talking about a baby in a much more real sense rather than just “when we have children” as if it’s miles away! We were also planning to move this year but COVID put a stop to that, so instead we are doing our house up with a view to move next year. DH was talking about getting a new bath and mentioned he’d considered a 3/4 bath with shower over and was like “as long as it fits a baby in it” - I honestly think because I’ve been chatting to all of you about this and have stopped going on about it so much, he’s come round to the idea on his own similar to your DH!

Annoyingly our September holiday is now cancelled as we were due to go to Menorca which is now on the no-travel list. We were due to pay the balance next Tuesday but our travel insurance said we wouldn’t be covered if we paid it and then couldn’t go, but if we cancel they’ll cover our deposit as we paid it in early March before lockdown. Gutted to not be going abroad but hoping to go to Cornwall for a week instead and I think DH is coming round to the idea of TTC a month earlier in Sept so fingers crossed I might be starting my last non-TTC cycle next week!! 🤞🏼

Have a lovely weekend everyone!! Xx