Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

@queenatom hopefully aiming to start trying before Christmas. I would like to pre plan for about four months if I can! When are you planning to TTC?

I stopped taking the combined pill about two years ago, as I had been on it for the past five years and it had stopped my periods completely!

I've recently started using the Natural Cycles app (paid for) to track ovulation - has anyone used this?

@Nate1 that sounds like a really good chat!!

@wrensandrobins that doesnt sound too good. What is calcium supposed to do for PMT if u dont mind me asking?

@CookieMonster3001 I read in the 'impatient women's guide to getting pregnant' book that calcium helps with PMT, and I had a little research and there are some studies that it reduces the impact...

Maybe it takes longer than a month to build up- because I definitely have full blown PMT today 🤣

ah man i totally fell off the wagon today and have eaten utter crap! I can't even blame it on being due on. I think I am just a bit emotional, DP and I both had a cry on one another this evening and feel much better for it. I had a meeting at work today and a couple of people on it are pregnant and were all discussing babies and morning sickness......I found that so hard to listen to. I had to excuse myself because I couldn't listen to it.....slightly dramatic but I just couldn't mask it. I feel like I am a bit crazy sometimes.

On a positive note, DP's vitamins arrived and the reviews on Amazon were really good so I am hoping they will have a positive effect on things. Went for the Wellman conception ones. Fingers crossed.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better with my eating

@JamesZebra I hope you are feeling better today!

Today is an exciting day for me! No longer on the pill, I start tracking temps tomorrow using natural cycles, I am not going to start TTC until December but after the pill causing me so much misery with migraines, and being on hormonal contraception since I was 16 I'm so curious about what me not on it is like! Hopefully the next 4 months should allow me to settle into a cycle and get to know myself before TTC! Currently suffer from clusters of migraine, horrible rage filled PMT and then light barely there periods that drag on up to a week.

I am aware that coming off the pill can also upset the balance and cause PMT symptoms so I have warned my partner 🤣

I am determined not to let it ruin my diet though!

How exciting, @wrensandrobins - fingers crossed for a smooth transition off of the pill!

@wrensandrobins gosh that sounds horrible......when I had the implant it turned me into a dragon. I was a complete b*h. It's funny what these things can do to us!

Hopefully today will be better with eating. I don't want to undo all the hard work I have put in so far. Going to do some yoga in a mo

@wrensandrobins oh that sounds interesting!! Is it a certain amount of calcium? I drink quite a bit of milk... wonder if that helps?!How exciting that you are off the pill! Luckily for me, when I came off the pill, my cycles pretty much went back to normal, except they were a hell of a lot shorter. Sometimes my period can be 1 or 2 days. Most of the time they are 3. I decided to come off it to not only give my body a huge break before TTC, but I found they gave me migraines too and my mood was ridiculous, not to mention all the weight I put on! I have to say, I have been more myself after coming off the pill, but that took a couple of months. Hope the withdrawal goes well for you!!

@JamesZebra oh no it sounded like you really needed to get that emotion out, sometimes a good cry really does help, but totally understand the feeling when other people are constantly pregnant or talking about it. Everyday I scroll through FB and someone else I know is preg and its starting to get irritating! lol Hope the vitamins go down well for your OH and that your eating is better today!! Go get your Yoga on!

I'm trying to gear myself up for my run later, but feeling so lazy today!! I defo need to make better food choices as well today. Tomorrow its mine and OH wedding anniversary and then my birthday the day after so I have a feeling this weekend is a bit of a right off!

@CookieMonster3001 awww lots to look forward to this weekend then!

My kids are about to go out for a bit so I think I will do my yoga once they have gone. I haven't done any in ages so would rather not have an audience

Slightly unrelated but does anyone have any tips for sleeping? My sleep has been terrible lately, i wake up feeling rubbish every morning. Not sure why and I am constantly tired. I am taking my supplements which I thought would help with energy levels but I feel like a zombie until after lunch. Just wondering if anyone else had experienced this and had any tips?

@JamesZebra I drink the Pukka Nighttime every night about 1h before bed. It gives me time to drink it and pee it before actually falling asleep. It helps put myself in a state of relaxation. Some people take melatonin but I don't know if that's good for when trying to conceive.

@stepmumSW5 that's interesting! I used to have serious issues with sleep and a colleague gave me one sachet of that to try, I am still yet to try it!

@JamesZebra are you waking up in the middle of the night? Maybe you could try lavender? That's supposed to help with relaxation.
One thing I found that really used to help me (my issue was falling asleep in the first place, sometimes this wasn't until 2/3am and then I'm up 7am so felt shattered), when I feel I cant sleep, I would put vicks on my nose and head (the burning sensation makes me feel sleepy) and I used to have an app on my phone to listen to calming music (my fave was the sound of rain) and I found that it helped me to fall sleep quicker than normal.

The worst thing is when my OH falls asleep before me and then he snores. Then I'm doomed.

No advice on sleep but if you find the answer, let me know! I drift off fine most night but am then awake again a few hours later and can't get back to sleep. Grim.

@zeerecords I use the Clue app which is free, I haven’t noticed it change anything yet based on my symptoms / tracking CM but I’ve only tracked 2 cycles so far and I think
I read it needs 3 to become “smart”. Are you using OPKs and/or your BBT? I’m just tracking CM for now and planning to start TTC in either Sept or Oct.

@JamesZebra sorry you were feeling rubbish yesterday, I often find a good cry helps! Hope you enjoyed your yoga. I was also a moody b**ch when I had my implant, didn’t realise until I got it taken out and felt so much better! That was a few years ago now. I’ve heard Epsom bath salts are great, I bought some lavender Epsom salts myself before my wedding just in case I felt stressed or it affected my sleep, but I never actually needed to use them.

@wrensandrobins that’s exciting! I hope for lovely, regular cycles for you!

@CookieMonster3001 happy anniversary and happy birthday for this week, I found having something to celebrate at the weekend made me really switch off from everything and relax and have some fun, so hope you enjoy it 😊

Thanks for the ideas for sleep. Its getting off to sleep that's the issue. I will try the things advised. I sleep with a fan on for white noise....I just can't seem to relax in order to drop off.

Been 100% on my diet today and had a lovely few quiet hours at my allotment this evening so hopefully that will have tired me out a bit. Also had a really good chat with DP about baby stuff. He's convinced he can't have kids but won't get tested. So frustrating but he also said how scared he is of it all, what if he's crap dad? He's amazing with my kids so I have no worries in that department. He's worried he's too old (41) so I really feel it's now or never to try.

Good Morning :)

@JamesZebra another idea would be to listen to a podcast :) geography and history do the trick for me :D
Sorry to hear about your OH‘s thoughts and problems. Its probably good that you talk about it though. Maybe it will happen for you two without any troubles or appointments he has to go to..you never know. :)

@JamesZebra my partner is also worried about being a rubbish dad, his dad wasn't great and he accidentally knocked the dog flying the other day, I wondered why he was quiet and he said he is worried he will be accidentally too rough with the children or be crappy like his dad. I have no such worries, he is a really thoughtful kind man.

@CookieMonster3001 thank you! 500mg, my tablets are 400mg so I hopefully top that up enough with milk, yogurt and cheese!

Did your migraines get better off the pill? That for me is what I really need, I have lost so many days this summer lying in bed in the dark

@JamesZebra I’ve found melatonin gummies to be very good when I cannot sleep. Magnesium tablets also recommended!

How is everyone getting on? Our first “try” hasn’t ended in success as I got AF last week, disappointed but think I’m just being impatient. My other half isn’t complaining about having to keep trying haha

@wrensandrobins aww bless him. That must be really hard for him to worry he will be like his own dad. I guess we just have to build them up and reassure them that they will be ok. The thing with parenting is that there is no manual to say how to do it, a lot of it you have to make up as you go along. I have made some really crap decisions with my older kids that I look back on now and regret, but I was doing what I thought was best at the time. I used to beat myself up over it but now I have come to realise it is just part of being a parent and you learn so much as you go on.
My DP's dad was a wonderful man but he died a few years back and I think it's the fear that his dad isn't there to tell him everything will be ok. He got really upset a few nights back and cried because he really misses his dad. I am just glad he feels comfortable enough to tell me this stuff and open up when he is sad......so many men feel like they have to be "manly" and my DP is manly, he just knows that sometimes he needs a good cry.

@wrensandrobins I have a few friends whose migraines improved significantly off the pill, for what it’s worth. I think it varies from person to person as to what triggers them. Mine seem to be set off by thunderstorms, not much I can do about that!

@JamesZebra I think it’s really common for men to worry about being a crap dad, I know my husband has had some of these thoughts too. I think a lot of men prior to becoming dads often spend less time around young children than women and so it’s a lot harder to imagine what it’s like to be a parent. Doesn’t help that my husband’s only real experience with young children was when his cousin had quadruplets which was obviously a lot more stressful for all concerned than having one baby!

My temperature has gone up again today by another .25 degrees - finding it fascinating to watch my first chart come together. Is anyone else temping and, if so, are your charts doing what you expected?

@maloney123 I actually have some melatonin in the house that was for my dd so I might give that a try just to get back into a routine.

We are still trying in the back ground whilst I make some positive changes to my body. Nothing happened last month. I am in my fertile window this week- dtd last night and used some pre-seed so wondering if that will make a difference. I am using OPK's but haven't had a spike this month yet. Also got DP some mens fertility vitamins.......so hopefully he will start them today. I have also been watching youtube vidoes about tips on conceiving.

Some of them talk about using a menstrual cup after you have done the deed.....not sure how I feel about that. I guess if nothing happens in the next few months since I have lost some weight/we are taking vitamins/using the preseed then I might consider it further down the line. Just feels a bit clinical when you want to try and keep things fun etc. I feel a lot more positive about our chances of conceiving since making changes. Just need to keep losing weight.

@JamesZebra sounds like you are doing all the right things and congrats on your weight loss as well! We have been using preseed but I wasn’t sure if that could be having a negative impact or not, but I prefer to use some form of lube when dtd! It’s hard to know what’s best! I’m with you in that I want to try and keep things fun and not too clinical

@queenatom I started temping today but it all went wrong police helicopter over my house at 4am and then my partner left at 5! From what I have read you need 4 solid hours of sleep for it to be reliable, I took it at 4am but I won't be getting up that early tomorrow so I think i need to count tomorrow as the first temp!

Rung my gp today and they said they won't do coil removals. Said to go to the sexual health clinics. I asked if she knew which ones were open. said no idea google it.

Have emailed my old gyno who put it in so waiting for a reply. Will have to probably pay a few hundred pounds for it but feel safer in his hands anyways