Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

@JamesZebra Yes, it's difficult, isn't it? I would love to park myself in a cafe for a few hours right now, but just not viable. I think trying to get walks in is a good idea, and maybe also trying to mix up your routine a little - popping out to pick up a takeaway lunch from somewhere nearby (if that's an option where you live) or taking a break outside?

@queenatom thank you, I’ve done some more reading about it and you’re right! The supplements I have are the seven seas fish oil that do contain cod liver oil but only a small amount, and from reading about it sounds like the vitamin A can actually be beneficial for fertility you’re just not supposed to take it once you’re actually pregnant. So I think I’m going to carry on taking them for now and then switch to one without cod liver oil once actually TTC.

@stepmumSW5 good luck!! I’ve been reading the section about OPKs etc. in the book! I never realised there were so many ways to track ovulation!

@Nate1 I’ve also been reading more of the book and my combined calcium & vitamin D supplements arrived today!

@maloney123 I agree with the others around exercise, if anything I’m going to try and continue with as much exercise as I can so that I can carry on doing some of it into pregnancy. My Bootcamp instructor said that you can carry on doing whatever exercise you already do (other than contact sports) once pregnant you just shouldn’t take up anything new, so I want to try and keep it up so I’m fit for the marathon that is labour 😮😂

@JamesZebra & @queenatom I am so over working from home!! I got into a really good routine in April, was going out for walks every day and doing my boot camp and yoga religiously but I feel like it’s all fallen by the wayside a bit. I think because it was my niece’s and then my DH’s bday I got into the habit of eating too much cake 😂 It’s my birthday next weekend so after that DH and I have promised we’re going to have a super healthy August - our reward can be lots of BD’ing in Sept in what will hopefully be our first month TTC (if I can persuade him!) 🤞🏼

@Lollipop87 i think that sounds like a good swap
Cake was all that got me through lockdown in the beginning.

I think i am feeling a bit meh today because I have started spotting so I know I am probably out for this month- i guess it could be implantation bleeding but I think thats unlikely.
We aren't really trying but it would be nice if it just happened like that since we haven't used any contraception for quite some time. I guess it gives me another 4 weeks to shift some more weight and pay off another chunk of my credit card.
I am trying to be positive but I am really worried that something is wrong with one of us. I have asked Dp to get his swimmers checked but he doesn't want to - he hates going to the DR's.

@JamesZebra Sorry for giving advice although I don‘t know you guys, but maybe it helps to use the approach from the book (#Bible) and tell your partner that your doctor says you can't start your tests/appointment until his sperm is checked. This shifts the focus from him to you. So to speak "everything will be fine with you I know" :D

@Lollipop87 Great that your supplement arrived. It gives you the feeling of beeing in control a little doesn‘t it? :)

On that note. I‘m not taking fish oil capsules but I want to incorperate more fatty fish in my/our diet.

@Nate1 thank you, I think I will try that, failing that I am just going to tell him what it is doing to me mentally and that if we can't have another at least I can deal with that rather than the torture of getting my period every month and hoping I wont. I think part of him is scared that I will leave if he can't give me a baby, if we can't have another child I will accept that. I would just kind of like to know if there is a problem.
It's more likely to be me - I only have 1 Fallopian tube and there is a chance it's scarred/blocked because the other one was. I have heard that people have had the test to check if its blocked and inadvertently ended up unblocking it so that might be an option further down the line. Once again I am waaaaay over thinking things.

@JamesZebra sorry you’re feeling meh, hopefully you’ll feel better after you talk to him about it. I sometimes find that me worrying about bringing something up is worse than the actual conversation and I usually feel so much better even if it’s a difficult conversation. (Both with DH and with work colleagues!)

@Nate1 yes and I even talked DH through the benefits of certain things food/nutrition wise and he was actually quite interested! I’ve just read the bit in the #bible (love that 😂) about the planning sex for a boy or a girl...whoa! I wouldn’t do it for my first but if I have a boy first I’d be tempted to use it to get a girl second time round!

Would love to join this thread.

I finally (after asking doctors since the beginning of lockdown) had my coil removed today.

After talking it through with my DH I think we're going to wait until September/October to TTC because I have a work friends hen party in late September and as much as I love my work friends they're a bunch of terrible gossips and will not believe me if I give any other reason for not drinking.

I don't want anyone at work to know until I'm ready for them to this time. When I got pregnant with my DD almost 4 years ago I told my boss pretty much straight away and he then told 3 other members of staff outside of the management team so by the time I had my 12 week scan and told everybody, they already knew 🤦‍♀️.

@lollipop87 Yeah I’m a bit confused about that too, I don’t eat any fish so maybe I should take the seven seas as well? Have you found they’ve messed up your cycle at all?

@maloney123 I need to start doing exercise, I used to walk to and from the train station and to meetings etc which would’ve been around 45 mins a day, not exactly amazing but better than now which is nothing! Do you guys think the big exercise will negatively effect me?

@jameszebra I have good days and not so good days WFH, this week I’m not feeling productive at all but generally it is a much nicer work life balance and I’m hoping I’ll only need to go in the office two days a week max once things get back to normal. Hope you feel a bit better tomorrow, I know how you feel about talking to partner my bf is very much like there’s no need to talk about it so much and if I spoke about him having sorry tested he’d prob be a bit like ?? And the book also says something about how it can make men feel emasculated but I think you’re right, if you’re open and say it’s effecting your mental health then he’ll be there for you.

Hi @pebbleinthesand that’s terrible that your manager told people!! I don’t even know when I’d tell mine (when it happens) do people usually wait until 12 week scan? I think I’d want to wait until I’m showing? Exciting for you though, did you fall quite soon with your DD?

Hi @Pebbleinthesand! Congrats on getting your coil out, that must have been so frustrating having to wait so long! Omg I can’t believe your boss told everyone, that is so unprofessional and an invasion of your privacy!! 😡 I think there are lots of Sept/Oct TTC-ers on this thread 😊

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I’ve only been taking them for a couple of days but will let you know if anything out of the ordinary happens. I read a good article on Motherly about fish oil being great for fertility if you wanted to look for it x

@sunflowersaremyfav93 not who you asked but I told them after my first 12 weeks scan (baby was small/dates off so had 2). I apologised for my crappy behaviour while telling them . I didn't show for ages and even at 30 something weeks people were still not noticing, I doubt that would be the case the second time round though.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Most people I know tell their work shortly after their 12 week scan, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with waiting a little longer if you want to. The only firm rule is that you must tell them no later than 15 weeks before your due date.

Did anyone else have a really rough time emotionally with their first period after stopping contraception? I’ve just been feeling awful these past few days, very unsettled and anxious, and I can only assume it’s down to hormones (there’s nothing else specific that would be triggering it). I just want to start feeling normal again!

One of my friends from work has just revealed she’s nearly 20 weeks pregnant!! No one knew because obviously on video call meetings everyone is sat down. She only told HR 2 weeks before the cut-off but you’re well within your rights to do that. Some women like to wait until they’re further along.

@queenatom sorry you’re feeling crappy 🙁 My emotions were ok but my skin went really spotty my first cycle off the pill. Hopefully it’s a result of the pill hormones leaving your body and you’ll feel more yourself soon 😊

@lollipop87 I’ll look that up this morning, thank you!! Ah I can’t wait for that to be us!!!

@olderthanyouthink wow, did you have a small bump? If I was able to work from home as much as I do now then I’d probably wait until I felt comfortable to tell them but if I was having to commute to London everyday I might decide to tell them sooner. As if I’m thinking about this and I’m not even pregnant yet 😂

@queenatom Oh I’m sorry you’re feeling like that but if it helps, I think it’s absolutely normal, your hormones are finding their feet again, hopefully it passes soon x

Thanks @Lollipop87 and @sunflowersaremyfav93 - I'm sure you're right. I was never really emotionally affected by PMS before I went on contraception so just a bit of a shock to the system. My husband has definitely been a bit caught out by it too!

I have two weeks of the pill left and I wonder how my body will react! I read that calcium helps with pmt so I have ordered some supplements online hopefully that will help!

Also I have either been on the pill or with an implant for 16 years since I was a teenager, I have no idea what I am like without these extra hormones! It will be interesting to find out!

I'm a teacher so I told him early because of risk assessments and needing to know if any children had anything that I shouldn't be around liked slapped cheek or scarlet fever.

He's usually brilliant but so unprofessional with things like this. He's just done it again to another member of staff. Everyone knows and now the poor girl's had a miscarriage and I don't think she's even aware that at least half of the school knows. It makes me so mad. I won't be telling him until at least 12 weeks if not later this time.

I came off my pill in the July but didn't start TTC until the September with my DD. I got my BFP mid October.

Love that I'll be TTC around the same time of year, having a baby in summer is lovely and I definitely thought about it when deciding when to TTC again.

@Pebbleinthesand so interesting to read your insight because I‘m a teacher too and we are supoosed to tell our headteacher as soon as we know. I‘m actually thinking a lot about this because of COVID I‘m worried that I won‘t be allowed to teach in school for the whole pregnancy which would be sad and boring I think :D Sure I could use a break on the hours but I don‘t want to sit at home beeing healthy and pregnant 9 month. Do you think about this or is it different for you?

Oh and I have to add of course I‘m not sure I would want to work in school because of COVID but sitting around is boring :D look at me worrying although I haven‘t even tried to get pregnant :D horrible :D sorry

I haven't really thought about that side of it too much tbh. I'm not going to worry until I get there. I'll look into the guidance over the summer holidays but having to wait to have my coil out has put back plans and taken having another baby out ofy control for a few months so I'm not really willing to postpone any further than September/October.

This may well go on for a very long time yet and I can't keep waiting (too impatient 😂)

The problem with knowing what my headteacher straight away is that everyone would know and I'd rather take the risk and know at least that the decision is mine as to when to tell people.

@Nate1 I'm also a primary school teacher (don't know if you're the same) so I will only ever be in a bubble with my 25 pupils and even then it's only 3 days a week since I'm part time so this will factor into my decisions about work.

@wrensandrobins I was the same, had been on the pill for the best part of 16 years (implant for maybe 2 of them but didn’t get on with it). Came off in May and I have to say I don’t feel all that different. The weirdest thing is that I was expecting my periods to be a lot heavier but they’re actually lighter than when I was on the pill! Thinking maybe my uterine lining just needs a bit more time to thicken back up 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Lollipop87 that's interesting! How have you felt emotionally, I get bad PMT at the moment so I was hoping I would be better off a hormonal contraceptive!